Innocent Sins
by knicnort3
Summary: Not everything is as it seems, and even the guilty can be innocent. Bella was raped and became pregnant.Yrs later she reconnects with Edward, who she knew as the strange loner in school.When dark secrets are uncovered,love is tested.*sum inside*Citrus/AH
1. Speechless

**Innocent Sins**

Description: _Bella was the pretty girl who was friends with everyone, until one event changed everything. She was walking home from school, when she was brutally raped, and later found out that she was pregnant. She withdrew from her friends and from life, but when time came to put the baby up for adoption, she just couldn't do it and found a new reason for living. _

_Edward was the strange withdrawn loner, who was hiding a dark violent secret. __Years later, Edward and Bella meet again and start a guarded romance, but sins of his past threatens the solace they only found in each other. Can their love overcome the tragedy?_

_Not everything is as it seems, and even the guilty can be innocent._

*Edward's character is very loosely based on the true story/novel_ 'I Know My First Name is Steven'_

~AH, AU, OOC, Canon parings. B/E~ BPOV & EPOV

Banner/collage can be seen on my profile page!

…

Warning: Rated **M** for dark and sometimes disturbing adult content such as sex, rape, drugs, abuse, strong language, and kidnapping.

Disclaimer: No copyright infringement is intended. All settings and characters, etc. are the property of their respective owners. All subsequent chapters fall under the same disclaimer.

* * *

**~Chapter 1 – **_**Speechless~**_

**BPOV**

"Mom, it's Ok, I promise," I tried assuring her as she was about to head back to the airport.

"I just feel like an awful mother leaving you like this," Renee said.

"It's not like you're leaving me alone or with strangers, I'm with dad. Think of it like joint custody and right now it's just dad's turn with me."

She sighed, "Ok, but remember…."

"I know you love me," I said with a smile after cutting her off midsentence.

For as long as I could remember, my mother Renee and I had been on our own, just the two of us against the world. When we moved to Phoenix however, she met a man at the grocery store and fell head over heels, literally. He accidentally knocked her over with his cart, and they had been together ever since.

Renee and Phil had been married for a year, and as an aspiring baseball player, Phil finally got signed to a minor league team. But that meant that Phil would be traveling, and Renee would be forced to be separated from him in order for me to stay in school. I offered to travel with them and be home schooled, but of course that idea was quickly shot down.

So I decided to move to Forks and live with my dad for a while. I loved my dad, but I didn't really know him all that well. I used to spend every summer in Forks and hated every minute of it, but Renee deserved a little happiness, so I was willing to sacrifice mine. My parents were polar opposites; Renee was eccentric and zany who loved art and traveling, and Charlie was a small town guy who was happy being bored.

"Promise you'll call the minute you want to come home?"

"Yes mom, I'll call you if Forks is as bad as you always said it was," I joked.

"You think I'm kidding? Bella, there is absolutely nothing here to do, you'll see." Renee said.

"Yeah, yeah, just get going before you miss your flight." I hugged Renee one more time and watched her drive away. I was used to spending months at a time with Charlie, so I wasn't too concerned about being separated from Renee in the beginning, but I knew it was only a matter of time until I missed her like crazy.

"Well kiddo, can I help you get settled in your room?" Charlie asked me as I stared at the empty driveway where my mother's cab had been parked.

"No thanks, I can manage." Charlie had already brought up my suit case, so I decided to go to my room and unpack.

It was in the middle of the semester, so the following day I joined the other juniors and went to school. I was nervous about starting a new school, and I couldn't wait to just get it over with.

"Hi, you must be the new girl, Isabella right?" A strange looking boy with glasses asked.

"Bella," I corrected him.

"Bella?" He seemed confused.

"I prefer to be called Bella," I explained.

"Oh right, sorry. I'm Eric, the eyes and ears of Forks high. If you need anything at all, just let me know."

"Thanks," I said uncomfortably.

After my first few classes, I started to relax. Everyone was very friendly and welcoming, and I actually could see myself making some great friendships. Jessica and Angela quickly took me under their wing, and in no time, we were gossiping about boys and having sleepovers. I had friends in Phoenix, but nothing as close to my relationship with Jess and Ange.

….

"Who's that?" I asked at lunch time as a strange guy I had never seen before entered the cafeteria. It had been a month since I started at the small school, so I thought I met practically everyone there.

"Oh, that's Edward Jameson; he's not new, but he's gone a lot."

"Really, why?" I asked as I watched the awkward lanky guy walk to the lunch line.

"Oh his dad is a deep sea fisherman, and sometimes they're gone for weeks at a time. His dad is pretty nice, but Edward is a freak," Jessica said in her usual stuck-up demeanor.

"What do you mean by that?" I asked.

"Well, just look at him. He hardly ever speaks and when he does open his mouth, he says the strangest off the wall shit."

I looked over at Edward, and tried to see past his long reddish hair, which fell over his face, and strange clothes that didn't seem to fit him properly. It was obvious that he didn't have any friends, and didn't have any desire to make any. He kept his head down, and seemed as though he was trying not to be noticed as he sat alone in the corner of the room. I actually felt really sorry for him.

"Hello ladies," Mike said as he came to sit with us. "Did you see that freak-boy has returned?"

"Oh, we saw him alright," Jessica said annoyed.

"You guys are so mean, why don't you just leave him alone," Angela said upset.

"Oh lighten up, it's not like we call him a freak to his face," Mike defended himself.

"So Bella, do you want to go see 'The Notebook' with me at the Dollar Saver in Port Angeles this weekend?" Angela asked.

"Why are they playing 'The Notebook'? That movie is really old," I asked.

"The Dollar Saver always plays older movies, that's why they're so cheap," Angela explained.

"And that's why no one else wants to go there, not to mention that they're on Broadway which is the rougher part of town," Jessica said snottily.

"Oh, it's not that bad," Mike interrupted. "I just have no desire to see that snooze-fest again."

"Oh please come with me Bella, I can't get anyone else to go and it's my favorite movie."

"Ok, I'll go. What time on Saturday?"

"Six."

The bell rang, marking the end of the lunch period, so we all headed to our classes. I rounded the corner by my biology class, and rammed right into the back of someone.

"Oh, I'm sorry," I said as I realized that it was Edward.

"It's Ok," he mumbled quietly, and put his head down so I couldn't really see his face behind his hair.

"Um, do you have biology next?" I asked trying to get him to look at me.

"Ya," he said quickly, and then walked into the class; I followed him in, and took my normal seat.

Mr. Molina talked to Edward for a few minutes, and then pointed at my table. My normal partner Tyler was out with mono, so the seat next to mine was available for the time being, though I wondered what he was going to do when Tyler came back.

Edward sat next to me, and again, refused to look at me.

"I'm Bella, by the way," I told him as we all started our lab work.

Edward nodded, but didn't say anything else.

"You're Edward, right?" I asked slightly frustrated.

"Mm-huh," he mumbled again.

We got through the whole lab with the least amount of communication as possible. Whenever I asked him something, it was always a one word mumbled response, and Jessica was actually right, he was a very strange person. He would randomly start humming what sounded like the theme song to the soap opera 'General Hospital', but when he thought I was listening, he'd immediately stop and return to staring blankly at his paper. And he'd doodle all over the table and even on his chair, but the teacher didn't seem to notice, or care. On top of the humming and doodling, he was constantly fidgeting and even rocking in his chair anxiously, like he just couldn't sit still.

"Are you OK?" I asked him finally. His weird behavior was just becoming too much, and though I didn't want to be rude, I was really getting fed up.

"When is anyone ever really Ok?" he said unexpectedly, and then got up and walked out a minute before the bell rang. The teacher looked up at him as he left, but just sighed and shook his head; he must have been used to Edward's bizarre actions.

The rest of the week in biology, was pretty much the same. Edward would hum, doodle and fidget the whole period, but would hardly speak. And every day, he would get up and just leave the class at erratic times. I decided to try and ignore his peculiar manners, and just dismiss everything he did; there was absolutely no logic to him whatsoever.

"So, we're still on for tomorrow night, right?" Angela asked me as we walked to our cars Friday after school.

"Yep, can't wait," I told her. I wasn't a big fan of sappy romantic movies, but I always had a good time whenever I went out with Angela.

…..

Angela picked me up the next evening, and we drove to the theater. Jessica had said that it was in a rough part of town, and although she exaggerated a bit, it definitely wasn't the nicest theater. We bought stale popcorn and candy, and Angela cried through the whole thing. I never understood why people cried in movies, I suppose I was just never able to lose myself in a movie like most seemed to do. To me, it was hard to see the characters as anything other than actors doing their jobs.

"That was so sad. Don't you think?" Angela asked me as we walked to her car.

I shrugged, "I don't really think it was sad. I mean, wouldn't you want to die in the arms of the man you loved after living a full life?"

"I guess so, but I just always get chocked up when she couldn't remember him after they had been so in love for so long."

"So, her Alzheimer's would be less heartbreaking if she wasn't married?" I asked.

"Wow, cynic much?" she teased.

"No, I just don't get it. I mean she totally cheated on her fiancé, and neither of them really cared."

"Well, I guess when you're in love and it's meant to be, you overlook some of the lesser desired qualities of that person."

"You sound like you know?" I asked with a suggestive grin.

"No, but I would love to feel that kind of passion. They were madly in love for their whole lives, and never lost that spark."

"Ange, I don't mean to be a bitch, so don't take this personally but, it's just a movie. That kind of perfect love doesn't happen in life cause if it did, the world wouldn't suck as much as it does," I told her.

"Oh come on, their love wasn't perfect and in no way easy. Look at what they had to go through before they could be happy together. It's a tragedy really."

"I guess," I relented.

We got in the car and Angela turned the key in the ignition, but nothing happened. So she tried again, but still nothing.

"Damn it!" Angela yelled.

"It sounds like the battery is dead," I told her. Since it was just Renee and me for so long, she always taught me to not rely on anyone else for stuff like fixing cars, so I knew the different sounds of problems that cars could make.

"Ugh! My parents are at a business dinner tonight, so I can't call them for help."

"I'd call my dad, but he's working," I said.

"What are we going to do?" She asked worriedly.

"Let's try calling one of our friends," I suggested.

"Oh, good idea," she said and started skimming through her contacts on her cell phone. She got a hold of Mike, and he was more than willing to come to our rescue.

"Mike is way too happy to meet us," Angela said suggestively.

"Good," I said ignoring what I knew she was implying.

"Oh, come on; you two have been flirting for a month now, when are you finally going to have a real date with him?"

"No we haven't, and he's not really my type anyway."

"Okay, what's your type then?"

"I don't know. I guess I really don't have much of a desire to date. I just want to focus on graduating next year, and then go to college to be a book editor."

"Sounds kind of lonely," Angela said cautiously, not wanting to offend me.

"Relationships will come eventually; I just don't want to search one out right now."

"Ok well, I'm thirsty. Let's go over to that bar over there and get a drink," she suggested.

"Um, my dad's a cop and we're both underage," I said prudishly.

"They _do_ have soda there, I'm sure. Besides, it's the only place close by besides the theater, and we'd have to buy another ticket to go back in there."

"Ok," I said uncomfortably. We walked across the street to the bar, and noticed that it wasn't just a bar. They were having open mic night, and people could go up on the little makeshift stage, and sing, or even do poetry.

"Ooo, we should totally go up there and do a duet," Angela said excitedly.

"Uh, no thanks. The indie rock acoustic thing isn't really my style, and then there's the little problem of being tone deaf."

"Everyone is tone deaf in places like this."

And Angela was right, we sat there and listened to three performers, and all were horrible.

"We should just go wait in the car," I told her, not wanting to be subjected to anymore torture for my ears.

"No way, this is still better than the car, besides I already texted Ben and said we would be in here."

"Well, hopefully they'll be here soon."

"Oh, I just got a text, they'll be here in like five minutes."

"Thank god," I said relieved.

The guys came in a few minutes later, and they looked way to excited to be there.

"Well this place is a dive," Mike said as he looked around the bar.

"It's better than waiting in the rain," Angela told them.

"Hey, I'm going to get a coke for the trip home," Mike said.

When he got back, he smiled with a shocked expression at something behind me. I turned around and saw Edward sitting on the stage holding a guitar.

"Holy shit, this is too funny. Freak-boy is actually here to sing," Mike said while laughing to himself.

"Oh, let's go before he starts," Ben said quickly.

"No, I want to hear him," Angela said.

"Yeah, I do too. I've hardly ever heard the guy talk, so this should be interesting," Mike said while sitting at the table.

We all watched the squirmy reclusive guy, who none of us really knew, as he looked nervously at the small crowd in front of him. I thought he was going to back out for a moment, but then he started strumming the strings, and surprisingly, it actually sounded like he knew what he was doing.

And then he started singing….

I never heard anything like it before. He seemed to morph into a completely different person as he let go, and just felt the song wholeheartedly. There was so much emotional raw passion in his voice, that it was hard to not get lost in the lyrics. When he finished the song, there was nothing but pure shocked silence. No one clapped, and no one even moved.

"Uh, thanks," Edward mumbled into the microphone, then swiftly walked off the stage and out of the bar.

"What the fuck just happened?" Mike asked incredulously.

"Oh. My. God. He was absolutely amazing," Angela said.

"Well, you know what they say, most good singers are weird as hell," Ben said casually.

I, myself, was speechless.

* * *

***What do you think so far? It gets much darker as the story progresses, so I hope you stick with me and keep reading. If you've read any of my other stories, especially 'Moon Scars', then you know that I like to write a lot of twists but always end with a happily ever after, so please keep that in mind. I already have most of the story planned out, but always love everyone's ideas, so please don't hesitate to let me know what you're thinking. I already made a banner/collage for this story, but it covers the whole thing, not just this chapter, so check it out on my profile and you might get some clues as to where I'm going with this. ***

**Thanks and ****Please Review**** ;-) **


	2. Mean

**Innocent Sins**

~Chapter 2 –_Mean_~

BPOV

The whole drive home from Port Angeles was a blur, because I couldn't stop thinking about Edward and his soulful singing.

I said bye to my friends, and went into the house.

"Hey, there you are, I was starting to get worried," Charlie said as I walked past the living room.

"Oh, I thought you were working late tonight?"

"Well, I was supposed to, but I swapped nights with Sam because he's got something going on, and, well, I'm always open."

"Cool," I shrugged then headed for the stairs, but he stopped me before I could get there.

"Where have you been?"

"Oh, I was with Ange at the movies, but her car battery died so we had to call Mike and Ben for a jump."

"Why didn't you call me?"

"Like I said, I thought you were working."

"What movie theater were you at?"

"Jeeze dad, what's with the third degree?" I asked annoyed.

"I just feel like I leave you alone too much, and it's dangerous for young women out there."

"Oh, please; what kind of danger could I possibly get in around here? Nothing ever happens here, that's why your biggest job as a cop is giving out tickets and peeling motorcyclists off the highway."

"Even seemingly safe sleepy small towns can play host to tragedies."

"Ok, I know," I said placating him. "Can I go upstairs now?"

"I just worry about you, that's all. Having a teen daughter is the hardest time in any father's life."

"Well stop worrying so much, you'll give yourself a heart-attack, especially considering all that red meat you eat all the time."

"I'm as healthy as a horse," he said while patting his pot belly.

"Uh huh," I said with a smile and then went up to my room.

I pulled out my cell phone to check my messages, and wasn't surprised that Jessica had texted me half a dozen times already.

**princessJess:  
OMG I just heard. edward j. was singing LMFAO**

**Bella:  
he was actually very good **

**princessJess:  
right, and I'm the valedictorian lol**

**Bella:  
I'm not kidding. he was probably the best I ever heard in person.**

**princessJess:  
whatever. C ya at skol **

**Bella:  
nite**

I put my phone on the charger, and then took a shower before getting on my pjs and going to bed. Even though it was still early, I just felt exhausted so it didn't take long for me to fall asleep.

And that was the first night I dreamt of Edward Jameson.

…

"_What are you doing here?" he asked me angrily._

"_I don't know how I got here. I don't even know where 'here' is," I told him._

"_You need to leave now; it's not safe here," his voice grew louder._

"_Ok, come with me then," I encouraged him and held my hand out in his direction. He stared at me, and for the first time I was able to actually see his eyes….they were black. Reflexively, I pulled my hand away and took a step back, but he took a step forward. _

"_What are you doing?" I asked confused._

"_We shouldn't be friends," he said bitterly._

"_Why?" I asked him._

"_Shh!" he said quickly and turned to look behind him. "You shouldn't have come. Leave now, before it's too late."_

"_What's going on? Why are you so afraid?"_

"_He's coming, LEAVE NOW!"_

….

My eyes flashed open, and I sat up and looked around my bedroom. The clock on my nightstand read **66666**, and my heart practically leapt out of my chest, so I started screaming.

"Bells, shh, it's ok. Wake up, sweetheart, you're just having a bad dream," Charlie said as he was sitting on the edge of my bed. I sat up _again,_ and looked at the clock. It read **3:15am**.

I was trembling, so I took a deep breath and calmed myself down. That had to be the strangest dream I had ever had in my entire life.

"Are you okay, now?" Charlie asked me.

"Yeah, sorry. I really have no idea what that was about. I'm fine, I promise, go back to bed," I said with a smile that was meant to be reassuring.

"Alright, good night kiddo."

"Good night."

Monday rolled around, and for some reason, I just really didn't want to go to school.

"What's wrong with you?" Charlie asked concerned when he saw me still in my pajamas, ten minutes before the time that I usually left.

"Oh, I'm not feeling great, so I think I'll just stay home today."

"Well good. I have the day off today, so we can just hang out and watch old westerns all day," Charlie said enthusiastically.

"Ugh!" I sluggishly went back up stairs, and got dressed for school. I loved Charlie, but I really didn't want to spend the day watching movies with him.

When I arrived at school, I forced myself to snap out of my funk, and tried to be my normal friendly self. But even though I was feeling fine, I just couldn't get my brain to focus, so I just sleep walked through my first half of school. Lunchtime was a welcomed relief, but I almost dreaded seeing Jessica because I knew she was an endless stream of gossip, and I just wasn't in the mood.

"Bella, did you see Lauren's outfit today? It makes her ass look absolutely huge," Jessica said as she sat with her plate of food.

"Hi Jessica, it's good to see you today, too," I said annoyed that she didn't even say hello before starting in on making fun of people.

"Hey," Mike mumbled as he came to the table with a mouth full of whatever he was eating.

"Hey, how was the bio exam today?" I asked him because he had the same teacher as me, just earlier in the day.

He laughed, "Eric was my partner, and he screamed like a chick because he thought our specimen was alive. It was fucking hilarious."

"Yeah, sounds funny," I said sarcastically but smiled despite myself. I had no romantic feelings for Mike whatsoever, but he was really fun to hang out with sometimes.

"Oh, hey Eddie," Mike said loudly as Edward walked past him. "We saw you on Saturday, and you were awesome; really sweet actually. I almost cried because you have a voice of an angel."

Edward stopped and looked at Mike briefly, but then put his head back down and kept walking.

Jessica laughed, but I was angry, "Mike! That was really mean."

"What? It was a joke. I bet that if Angela wasn't at Spanish club right now, she'd be laughing too."

"Why do you find hurting someone's feelings, fun?" I asked irritated.

"Oh come on, Edward doesn't give a shit what anyone says, cause if he did, he wouldn't be such a freak all the time," Jessica defended Mike.

"You guys both suck," I said to them, and then got up to clear mess. I decided to go talk to Edward and at least apologize for my friends, but then the earlier feeling of dread crept back into my chest. _'It was just a dream'_, I told myself quietly. I started to walk towards where I thought Edward had gone, but I didn't see him anymore, and because I was already nervous about talking to him, I decided to put it off until biology.

When it was time for biology, I started getting butterflies in my stomach. I was glad that I had gotten there before him, because I used those few extra minutes to calm myself again. Edward walked in class right before it started, so I didn't have time to say anything before the teacher started with his lesson plan.

"It's exam day everyone," Mr. Molina said excitedly to the class. "No, no, don't everyone thank me at once," he laughed. "Since it's a lab exam, you will work with your partners, but don't talk to anyone else. You have all your equipment necessary, and you have thirty minutes to finish."

"Um, can you pass me the slide?" I asked Edward, so he scooted it to me but didn't say anything.

I put the specimen on the slide, and tried to focus the microscope as the humming of the soap opera theme came out of Edward's lips softly. I looked at him and he was, of course, doodling on the side of his chair.

"Uh, do you want to help me with this?" I asked him finally.

"What do you want me to do?" he asked quietly.

"How about, you go get the water," I told him.

"Mmm," he said while shaking his head.

"Do you have a problem with water?" I asked him confused.

"No, I just don't like the faucet," he muttered.

"The faucet?" I asked confused.

"Yeah, it's just like the kind on the outside of houses where you attach a garden hose to. I really don't like those."

"Um…okay," I said slowly. "I'll get the water then, why don't you see what the next step is."

I knew Edward was strange, but the hose faucet thing was just off the wall. I considered asking him about it, but again, I just really didn't think that my brain could handle whatever peculiar answer he would give me. When I got back with the water, Edward was back to doodling.

"Uh, I thought you were going to read the next step?"

"Oh, right, I forgot." He looked at the lab sheet, and seemed like he had no idea what he was looking at.

"Do you know how to read?" I asked cautiously, but he looked at me and flashed me an oddly attractive crooked smile. It was the first time I had ever seen his eyes, and I was actually shocked that they weren't black like in my dream. He had the most beautiful bright green eyes that I had ever seen, and I actually got lost in them for a moment.

"Isn't reading something they cover in the first grade?" he said jokingly, which knocked me out of my awkward gaze at him.

"Well yeah, but sometimes people who have missed a lot of school fall a little behind."

"I can read fine, it's just that there's a mistake on the sheet."

"What kind of mistake?" I asked skeptically.

"Well, not a mistake, just an unnecessary step. See, this part here is just a waste of time, so let's just bypass it and do it this way."

"No, we need to follow the directions correctly," I disagreed.

"But the directions are wrong."

"Fine, let's just go ask," I said, and before he had a chance to argue, I grabbed the sheet and took it up to the teacher. I explained what Edward had told me, and Mr. Molina looked surprised, and motioned for Edward to come up.

"Where did you learn that?" Mr. Molina asked him surprised.

"I didn't learn it anywhere, it's just obvious."

"It's actually not obvious at all, that's an advanced college level assessment."

Edward shrugged, "seemed obvious to me."

"Edward, I'd really like to evaluate you further, and perhaps even talk to your father about putting you in some advanced courses."

"Well, my dad is pretty busy all the time, and he doesn't like to be bothered by things like that."

"No, this is something I'm sure he'll be very proud of," the teacher disagreed.

"No thanks, can we just finish the lab now?" Edward asked coldly.

Mr. Molina sighed, "of course."

Edward and I walked back to our table and went back to work.

"Um, I saw you play on Saturday night, and I just wanted to say that I thought you were really good," I told him uncomfortably.

"I didn't think that anyone from around here ever went to that area," he said referring to what Jessica had called 'rougher part of town'.

"Oh, we were at that super saver theater across the street there."

Edward mumbled something too low for me to understand, and then started humming again.

The more I heard him humming, the more confident I became that it was indeed, the theme song to 'General Hospital'. I wasn't a big soap opera fan myself, but Renee used to watch that show religiously, so I knew the song pretty well. I always lived by the motto, 'if you can't beat um, join um', so I started humming with him.

"What are you doing?" he asked sounding very upset.

"What? I figured I might as well just hum right along with you."

"Well, stop."

"Why?" I asked teasingly. "If you can hum, then so can I."

"No, you can't; we should just both stop. Ok?"

"Why do you hum that song anyway? You really don't seem like the soap watching kind of guy."

"Soap?" he asked confused.

"Yeah, 'General Hospital'." I said.

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"You don't have to be embarrassed about it; so, you like soap operas, it's not a big deal."

"I don't even know what a soap opera is, or what the hell you're talking about."

"Sure," I said knowing he was lying.

We finished the rest of the lab exam silently, and left the classroom. It had been the most amount of communication that ever passed between us, but the rest of the week was just like before. Limited interaction.

Friday after school, my dad picked me up because my truck was in the shop getting new tires and some engine work done. It was so embarrassing getting picked up from school in a police cruiser.

"What did you do Bella? J-walk or something?" Ben teased me as I got in the car. I said hi to my dad, and when he wasn't looking, I flipped off Ben before shutting my door.

"So, how was school?" Charlie asked me.

"Same old, same old." I said indifferently.

"I hope you don't mind, but I have to make a stop before we go home."

"A stop, where?" I asked.

"Just to the local market. Harry has been sick lately and we haven't been able to go fishing in a while, so I figured I'd stop and get some fresh fish and bring it over to him."

"Okay," I said unenthusiastically. Charlie used to take me to the fish market when I was younger, and I absolutely hated it, especially the smell.

As soon as we parked and opened the doors to get out of the car, the hideous smell completely filled my senses.

We walked down the outdoor market , and looked at the freshly caught fish. I liked to eat fish, but seeing them raw and whole, made me want to gag.

"Well, you seem to have made out well today," Charlie said to a man as he looked over his fish stand.

"Ah, well, you know me chief," the man replied. "And just who is that lovely creature back there?" he asked Charlie after looking at me. I was standing far behind Charlie so I could smell the fish as little as possible.

"Oh, that's my daughter. Bella, get over here for a minute."

I grudgingly walked towards them, and braced myself to not smell anything.

"This is my daughter Bella, she's been living with me for a little while now," Charlie told the man. "Bella, this is my friend Aaron Jameson."

"It's a pleasure to meet you Bella," the man said, giving me the creeps.

"You too," I replied politely.

"Aaron's son goes to school with you, do you know Edward?" Charlie asked me, taking me by surprise.

"Uh, yeah. He's actually my lab partner; I heard that his dad was a fisherman." I said, suddenly interested in the weird man with the long jet black hair. I hardly saw Edward's face because his hair was always covering it, but I knew what he looked like enough to see that he didn't resemble his father whatsoever. Edward's bronze colored hair and bright green eyes, were a direct contrast to his father's black hair and extremely dark colored eyes. I looked at the man's eyes just a moment longer, and decided that they were actually black, which brought my dream that I had of Edward back to the forefront of my mind.

"Dad, I have a lot of homework to do, so can we get going?" I asked Charlie uneasily.

"It's Friday."

"I know, but I'm busy this weekend and I'm not sure I'll be able to get to it."

"Alright, sure."

"Children shouldn't live such busy lives, especially on the weekends," Aaron said unexpectedly.

"Oh, well I just meant that I have plans with my friends." I said, then wondered why I was actually explaining myself to the abnormal man.

"Male friends?" he asked rudely.

"Yes, I do have friends that are guys," I said annoyed.

"And how do you feel about that Charlie?"

Charlie laughed uncomfortably, but in a joking manner. "Well, I think all dads would secretly love it if their daughters stayed little and uninterested in boys forever."

"So true," Aaron said humorlessly. "You should make sure that you respect your father enough to not embarrass yourself, by constantly being around the opposite sex."

Though Aaron sounded serious, Charlie chose to take it as a joke.

"Yeah, too bad we can't force our kids to do all the things we want them to do."

"Oh, but we can," Aaron said, which made Charlie finally decided that it was time to leave.

"Ok Bella, let's get you home."

We left quickly and when we got to the car, Charlie realized that he forgot to actually buy fish.

"Damn it," he said frustrated.

"We can go back," I offered, even though it was the last thing I wanted to do.

"No, I guess I'll just get Harry some fish tomorrow."

"That guy was really bizarre."

"Oh, Aaron is just eccentric," Charlie said reservedly. "Is Edward as…_unique_ as Aaron?"

"Edward is strange, but Aaron is freaky."

Charlie shot me a disapproving expression for talking so poorly about someone I didn't know, which made me feel like crap. I wasn't like Jessica, and judging people was something that was beneath me.

Even though I lied about having a lot of homework, I actually did have plans that weekend. It was Angela's seventeenth birthday, so a bunch of us were going to Seattle to celebrate. There was a hot new club that just opened up downtown and they allowed minors in, so we were all really excited. I was a horrible dancer, but I still had a ton of fun pretending to know what I was doing, and I didn't even care when people made fun of me for it.

"Come on Bella, come dance with me again," Mike said as we were taking a breather and getting a drink.

"Just a minute," I said before downing half my water at once.

"Damn, can you take a beer down like that?" Mike asked me.

"I wouldn't know, my dad's a cop remember?"

"Right, and we have to obey the law," he said mockingly.

"Yes, we do." I said without an ounce of sarcasm.

We went back to our group on the dance floor, and jumped right back into the swing of things. The new Katy Perry song came on, and we all yelled happily and continued to dance. Mike came closer to me, so I thought I'd have a little fun with him and grind against him slightly as we moved to the music. Mike froze when I accidently brushed up against his crotch, and the next thing I knew, he was excusing himself to the bathroom.

"Oh my god, he totally got a boner," Jessica laughed.

"No he didn't," I denied it, even though I knew it was true.

"That was so funny," Angela laughed with Jessica.

"Ugh, I feel bad," I said guiltily.

"Why do you feel bad, you just made his year," Ben said.

"It was just supposed to be a joke, I don't like him like that, and I really don't want to lead him on."

"He'll get over it," Jessica said unsympathetically.

"I'm going to get another drink," I told them and turned towards the bar, when my heart just about jumped out of my chest. Sitting at the bar causally, was Aaron Jameson. He was wearing an awful burgundy suit, and his black hair was slicked back in a half ponytail. As much as I didn't want to be a judge-mental person, I couldn't shake the eerie feeling I got from him, and the fact that he was at the same place as me three hours away from home, just made it worse.

Very deliberately, Aaron turned his head and looked right at me. I turned away reflexively, and grabbed Angela's hand to pull her aside.

"Do you see that guy with the long black hair over at the bar?" I asked her loudly so she could hear me over the music.

"Yeah, what about him?"

"That's Edward Jameson's dad."

"No way. Really?"

"Yes, I'm not kidding. I met him on Friday after school, and he's very…_different_." I said trying to be nice as possible. Aaron suddenly looked at me again, so I tried to hide behind the crowd between us.

"I wonder what he's doing here." Angela asked.

"I have no Idea," I said honestly.

"Maybe Edward is playing here tonight, or something."

"Oh, I didn't even think about that," I said feeling slightly better. I was actually really hoping that was the case, I would have loved to hear Edward sing again.

We danced and hung out for another hour, before we decided to start heading back home. We never saw Edward, but I decided to not obsess about his father. It was probably just a strange coincidence that we were in the club at the same time, and I wasn't about to lose any sleep over it.

I got home late that night, but Charlie was working the night shift, so the house was empty. I showered and went to bed, and as I was drifting off, the doorbell rang. I figured it was Charlie and he forgot his keys, so I put on my robe and walked down stairs. As I approached the door, and put my hand on the knob, I suddenly became terrified.

_What if it's not Charlie?_

"Who is it?" I asked through the locked door, but there was no answer.

I peeked out the window and saw no one, so I decided that some kids must have just playing doorbell ditch, and I went back to bed. At the exact moment that I pulled the covers over my head, the doorbell rang again. I decided to ignore it and try to get some sleep, but then it rang a third time, and a fourth. By the fifth time it rang, I just couldn't take it anymore, so I went downstairs and grabbed the fire poker, before cautiously opening the door.

There standing in the doorway was a masked man, and as he lunged at me, I screamed and lifted the poker above my head ready to strike.

"HEY, white flag, I give up!" Mike said as he pulled the mask off his face.

"MIKE!" I yelled at him. "You idiot!" Two other guys were laughing in the bushes, and I recognized them right away. "Ben, I didn't know you were an ass like Mike?"

"Sorry Bella, it was peer pressure," Ben said between laughter.

"And Tyler, it's good to see that you're feeling better. You know it's payback in bio on Monday."

"Ah, shit. What if I get on my knees and beg for your forgiveness?"

"I want groveling," I said to him, so Tyler dropped to his knees and folded his hands in front of himself and pretended to cry. "And I want chocolates waiting on the lab table before I even get there," I said to him before shutting the door in their faces and locking it.

Stupid pricks.

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***The life changing event is coming in the next chapter. Please Review***


	3. Forks

**Innocent Sins**

**WARNING: This chapter contains graphic content, including rape.**

~Chapter 3 – _Forks_~

BPOV

Life, is like a winding road. It twists and turns, and widens and narrows, but most importantly, it forks. Millions of tiny choices, making millions of tiny variations in life's road, and every choice has its consequence.

Charlie made a choice to go away for college, when he had never really left Washington before. Without that choice, he would have never met Renee, thus my existence would have never been.

Renee got a craving for ice cream late one night, and instead of waiting for the next day, she found a twenty-four hour store that she had never been to before, and she was run down with a cart by Phil, the man who became her second husband.

For every path taken, there were millions of paths left undiscovered; the _what ifs_. The world is full of _ifs_ and _maybes_, which entirely shapes our destiny.

It was ironic in a way that the town's name was Forks, because the fork I took that brought me to live there, was the one that I wished I could take back. _If _I never moved to Forks, Charlie would have never bought me that truck. _If_ the truck had not broken down a quarter of a mile from my house, I wouldn't have been walking. _If_ I remembered to charge my cell phone the night before, I would have been able to call for help.

If all those '_ifs'_ happened, I would have stayed a carefree teenager who went on to college and remained a naive girl who was happy in my simple safe life. But those ifs didn't happen, and the fork my life went down that Monday afternoon, altered my road for the rest of my life.

….

That Monday started out like any other normal Monday. If I knew my life would be forever tainted that day however, I would have stayed in bed. But I didn't stay in bed; I woke up, brushed my hair and teeth, and dressed for school. By the time I would re-enter that house, I would be a completely different person.

My truck had been in the shop all weekend, so I had to rely on my friends to take me to where I wanted to go, but I was so grateful when Charlie called in a favor and had the mechanic rush the job. I put the key in the ignition and turned it until my loud car rumbled to life. It sounded a little off, but I figured that perhaps it was off before, and it had since been fixed.

I drove to school as quickly as my old truck could drive. It was a peculiarly sunny day for December in the Pacific Northwest, and though the sun was amazingly warm, it just felt off.

"It's the apocalypse," Ben said as I was walking to my first class.

"What's the apocalypse?" I asked confused.

"The weather. They say that global warming will be responsible for the end of life as we know it, and days like today are proof."

"Right," I said lightly. "But you can just keep your odd theories to yourself, cause I'm not buying them."

"You'll see. The end is upon us."

"Uh huh, well if the world doesn't end in the next few hours, I'll see you at lunch," I said, and then waved goodbye as we parted ways.

The day moved slowly, and every minute seemed to last forever. Maybe Ben was right, because I definitely felt like the air was thicker somehow, like it was causing resistance as I walked. My legs almost felt heavy, like they were protesting every step I took.

"Hey Bella, do you want to get together for a study session tonight at my house?" Jess asked as we met for lunch.

"Uh, sure, but I'm going to go home first so I can put something in the oven for Charlie."

_Another fork._

"That's so weird that you make him dinner every night,"

"I don't cook every night, but when Charlie has the night off, I just like to make him something healthy so he doesn't go to the diner all the time."

"Well, I bet my parents wished that I cooked for them once in a while. My dad said I better find a husband who can cook because otherwise we'll starve."

"Yeah, he's probably right," I teased.

When I went to biology, I was surprised to see a heart shaped box of chocolates waiting for me at my lab table. I told Tyler that he needed to get me one, but I really didn't think that he actually would. I opened the box…and it was empty.

"You jerk!" I yelled at Tyler as he came into the room laughing.

"I tried to save them for you Bella, but they were just so good and I forgot to eat breakfast this morning," Tyler said as he came and sat next to me.

"Uh, Edward has been sitting there since you got sick," I told him.

"Ah man, you had to suffer with Edward as your partner? Sorry about that. He was my partner before you moved here, but then he was gone on some three month fishing trip with his dad. Trust me, it's better to work alone than with that freak."

"He's not that bad," I defended Edward.

"Well, he wasn't in my English class this morning like he was earlier this year, so maybe he's not here today. I'll go ask Mr. Molina."

I kept watching the door as the students all filed in, but Edward wasn't amongst them. Tyler talked to the teacher for just a minute and then he came back to the table.

"He said that Edward left on another sabbatical with his father, so the seat's mine."

"Wow, how the hell does he manage to keep up with his school work if he's never here?" I asked, but wasn't expecting an answer.

I was almost relieved that Edward and his father were gone. As much as I tried to think positively, Aaron freaked me out and I was more relaxed knowing that I wouldn't be living in the same town as him anymore. But for some reason, I felt really sorry for Edward. He was a strange person, and I had a feeling that his father was to blame for it.

"Bella, so what time do you think you'll be over then?" Jessica asked me as we were walking to our cars after school.

"Uh, like five or something?"

"Ok, sounds good."

I got in my car and turned it on. Again, it sounded strange, but I shrugged it off and pulled out of the parking lot. I only lived five miles from school, so when my truck started sputtering a half mile from home, I really thought I was going to make it the whole way…but I didn't. The truck completely stopped working and with a loud pop, it actually started smoking. I wasn't a car expert, but knew enough to know that wasn't good. It wasn't an easy fix like Angela's car troubles had been, whatever was wrong with my truck was far beyond my fixing capabilities.

"Damn it!" I yelled to myself, because there wasn't anyone else around. Charlie just got the stupid truck out of the shop, but it looked like they did a shitty job and seemed to make it worse. I pulled my cell phone out of my backpack to call Charlie for a ride home, but the battery was dead.

"UGH! Today is not my day," I said to myself frustrated, but at least it wasn't raining.

I got out of the truck, grabbed my backpack, and started walking.

"Stupid fucking truck," I mumbled as I kicked the loose gravel under my feet. The worst part was the fact that no one was around. I had already past the point where through traffic drove by regularly, and the only cars that drove down that particular street, were people who lived there. If any of my neighbors passed by, they would be more than willing to give me a lift, but most of them were retired elderly and they napped during that time of day.

As I continued to walk, I heard a car behind me, so I turned to see who it was. I didn't recognize the truck so I decided not to flag it down, but it slowed anyway. I tried to see who it was, but the windows were tinted and the way that the sun was reflecting on the windshield, made it impossible to get a good look at them.

After the truck slowly past me, it sped away quickly and rounded the corner ahead. That eerie feeling took over me again, but I pushed it away and continued walking, though I walked a little faster then.

I was just about to turn onto the long street that my house was at the end of, when that same truck came up behind me again. I turned to look at it, and it stopped a few yards behind me. My heart started beating rapidly, and my instincts told me to run, so I did. I ran as fast as I could towards my house, but as I peeked behind me, I saw that no one was following me, so I slowed down. I looked back towards the truck one more time, and when I turned forward again, I froze in path.

A man was standing there staring at me, and I breathed a sigh of relief.

"Mike you idiot, do you really think that stupid mask is going to scare me again?" I asked him, but he didn't say anything, he just stared.

I hesitantly walked towards him, intent on ripping off the mask and kicking him in the balls, but then I noticed something…it wasn't Mike. The man was much taller than Mike, and the build of his body was completely different. He was wearing all black, and had a black ski mask on. I didn't have time to think any further, I just took off running again, and to my horror, he chased me.

It didn't take long for him to catch me; he grabbed me by the back of my shirt, and threw me to the ground forcefully. I tried to fight him off, but he was bigger and stronger than me, so I was quickly overpowered.

"Get off me!" I screamed at him as I flailed around and tried to kick him. He quickly grabbed my wrists and secured them tightly in one of his hands, and used his body to pin my legs under him. He put his weight on my wrists and used his free hand to start unbuttoning my pants.

"NO!" I yelled at him; there was no way I was going to let that bastard rape me without a fight. He pulled my pants off but I managed to wiggle my hands out of his, and I clawed at his mask trying to rip his eyes out. He grabbed my wrist again, and squeezed it so hard that I thought he actually broke it.

"Stop fighting!" he yelled at me in a deep voice that I didn't recognize.

"No!" I said forcefully and managed to knee him in the crotch, and hard. He yelled out and rolled off of me in pain, so I got up and started running again. I thought I was going to get away, but he recovered himself and shoved me hard into a tree. The whole left side of my face throbbed, as blood dripped down my cheek from the impact into the tree.

"If you want to live, stop fighting!" he said sternly, but I still couldn't tell who he was. Stranger or not, I wasn't going to escape him. He pulled me down so I was on my stomach and he pushed my face into the grass. He had already gotten my pants off, so all that was left was my underwear. I kept trying to break free, but I was physically exhausted and didn't have enough strength to get away.

"Please don't do this," I whispered as tears started rolling down my face. He stopped for a minute, and almost loosened his grip on me, but then he tightened it again and ripped off my underwear.

He pushed into me from behind, and I screamed out in agony as he broke through my barrier. "Shh!" he said as I screamed, and then he covered my mouth with his hand. As he continued to pound into me, the severe pain from the friction receded, and I became completely numb. I didn't feel anything and I had no idea how long it went on for, before he finally pulled out of me and disappeared.

I laid there for what felt like hours, but it could have only been minutes and I would have never known the difference. I couldn't think about anything beyond that moment; not my dad who was at home just down the street, not Jessica waiting for me to show up for our study session, and not the fact that I'd carry that day with me for the rest of my life. There was absolutely nothing; my mind was as numb as my body.

I slowly started finding the will to move, and as I heard a car approach, I crawled into the cover of the trees that lined the road. I didn't want anyone to find me, I just wanted to die. I cursed god for not ending my miserly and letting me die. I wished I could go back and beg the man to kill me before he left. I didn't want to face my father, and I didn't want anyone to ever see me again. If it were possible to just crawl into an endless black hole for the rest eternity, I would.

As the sky started to darken and the shock started wearing off, I accepted the fact that my desire to die wouldn't be fulfilled, so I forced myself to get up and painstakingly put my pants back on. My underwear was torn, so I couldn't put those back on, but I wasn't going to leave them there for someone else to find, so I picked them up and shoved them in my pocket. My shoes had come off at some point, probably when my pants were being jerked off of me, but I could only find one of them, and I didn't have it in me to look any more for the other. I picked up my backpack, which I dropped when I was running, and I put the one shoe that I had, inside. And without wearing any shoes or underwear, I walked the rest of the way home.

I walked in the house to the low noise of the TV, and as I looked in the living room, I could see Charlie sleeping on the couch. Part of me wanted to start crying and jump into his protective arms, and just let him hold me until the horror I was feeling ended. But it would never end. The last thing I could handle in that moment was for Charlie to see me in the state I was in, and force me to relive it all by explaining to him exactly what happened.

I knew what I _should_ have done; I should have told Charlie, then went to the hospital to have a rape kit done and give them a full recount of what happened, but I just couldn't. I felt dirty and disgusting, like he was still on me and inside me, and the only way I could get through the next minute, was to wash him off.

I went upstairs and put the shower on hot, before undressing and stepping inside. I just stood there and let the heat seep into my pores, and I tried to burn away the memory as the hot water became scorching on my skin. When it became too hot to handle, I cooled it down slightly and started washing myself with the loofa. I scrubbed every inch of my body, and when I was finished, I scrubbed again. I scrubbed until my skin was raw, and when the hot water ran out, I finally turned it off.

I put on my pajamas and climbed into bed, and covered my head with the blankets. I didn't think it would be possible to sleep after that, but soon I opened my eyes and could see the bright sun shining through my covers.

My alarm went off sometime later and for a brief moment, I thought that perhaps it had all been a horrific nightmare. But as I started moving around, every part of my body ached as if I was just one huge bruise. I forced myself out of bed, and went to the bathroom. The numbness was completely gone and the pain was excruciating, especially when I had to urinate. I carefully walked to the mirror and was disgusted at what I saw; the reflection was completely unrecognizable. Although I was clean from showering the night before, my hair was in a tangled mess, I had dark blotches on my legs and wrists, and my face looked like I had been hit by a wrecking ball. The left side, where my face hit the tree, was swollen and black and blue with an oozing gash just under my eye.

"Bella?" Charlie knocked on the bathroom door.

I quickly had to try and remember how to speak again, "y-yeah, dad?" I said with a trembling voice.

"Hey, I didn't hear you come in last night, where's your truck?"

I stared at the door, and got lost in the depths of my mind for a few moments. Nothing seemed real, not the bathroom I was in, or my dad on the other side of the door. My truck was just a distant memory, so the fact that he was bringing it up, made me have to think really hard as to what happened to it.

"Bella?" Charlie waited for a response.

"Uh, it broke down around the block."

"What? Dagnabit! I had a feeling those guys at that garage were swindling me."

I could hear Charlie walk away, but after a few minutes, the floor squeaked as he walked back.

"Bella, are you Ok? You've been in there for over an hour."

_I had?_

"Uh, yeah. I'll be out in a minute."

"Ok. I'll give you a ride to school today since your truck isn't working."

"N-no. I'll just have Jessica pick me up," I lied.

"Isn't this a little out of her way? Her house is on the other side of town."

"She doesn't mind."

"Alrighty then. I'm going to take off now if you're sure you don't need a ride."

"Bye," I said, relieved that he was leaving.

I used to read stories about women who were raped and hid it from everyone, and I always thought they were stupid. But in living through it myself, the thought of telling anyone about what happened to me, seemed completely unfathomable. I didn't want to forever be known as _that girl who was raped_, and I didn't want anyone's pity, but most of all, I didn't want Charlie to know. I worried about his heart enough, and I knew if he found out, it would only turn into a stress that he couldn't control. What happened, happened, and there wasn't anything anyone could do about it. If I thought that my coming forward would help get the guy arrested and potentially save another girl from being raped by him, I'd go to the police right away. But I washed away all the evidence when I showered, and I had no description to give because I never saw his face.

All I wanted was to forget that it ever happened and try to move past it. I knew I would never be the same, but I was going to try like hell to make sure that no one else knew.

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***Ok, please don't get mad at me for making Bella not tell anyone, I just thought that she would be very confused and scared, and because Bella is Bella, I thought she would try to shield Charlie from the horror of knowing his daughter was raped. But, of course, he will definitely find out in the next chapter. Please Review***


	4. Waking Up

**Innocent Sins**

A/N: I just wanted to remind everyone that Bella has only been living with Charlie for about a month and a half, so they aren't super close at this point. Charlie is still getting used to being a full time dad, and he may not be as perceptive as he should be…yet. Plus, please consider the fact that Bella is in SHOCK, and may not act rationally. Thanks

A/N2: Edward will reenter the story, but not while in HS, and there will be EPOVs in the future.

* * *

~Chapter 4 – _Waking Up_~

BPOV

I stayed huddled on the floor in the bathroom for most of the day, but I knew I couldn't stay there forever, so I picked myself up, and went back to bed. Charlie was working a twenty hour shift, so I didn't have to worry about him until the next day, which I was grateful for. The sun set, and then rose again, and I decided enough was enough. I woke up like I normally did, and got ready for school as if nothing happened. But I refused to look at myself in the mirror. I could lie about the bruises on my face, but I knew that if I actually saw them again, I would absolutely lose it.

I called Angela and asked if she could pick me up, which she agreed to quickly enough.

When her car pulled up, I took a deep breath, and locked all my horror inside and buried it as far down as it could possibly go.

"Hey…hey, what happened?" Angela asked as I got in the passenger seat.

"Oh, my truck took a crap, so I needed a ride." I said emotionlessly.

"No, I mean what happened to your face?"

"The truck broke down while I was driving, and it jerked to a stop causing my face to hit the steering wheel," I lied, like a perfectly rehearsed script.

Angela looked at me skeptically. "You would tell me if something happened, right?"

"Something did happen; I hit my face on the wheel," I repeated. "I guess my dad is right, seatbelts are important."

"You always wear your seatbelt," Angela challenged me.

"Yeah, and the one time I didn't….." I stopped mid sentence, and just stared unseeingly out the window.

"Bella, are you Ok?" she asked worriedly.

"Mmhum," I mumbled.

We drove to school, and as soon as she parked, I got out and walked away. I didn't mean to be rude, but Angela was just far too insightful, and I needed to escape her presence. I walked to my various classes in a daze and just went through the motions like I was on autopilot, and at times, I had no idea how I even got to wherever I was. I didn't talk to anyone, and no one talked to me, or perhaps I just didn't notice when people talked to me. At lunch time, I automatically went to my normal table with all my friends, but didn't touch my food. I was vaguely aware that my friends were sitting with me, and they may have been commenting on the condition my face was in, but I wasn't coherent enough to respond, or even really hear them. I mechanically walked to my bio class and sat there like a lifeless robot, and at some point, I had enough and just walked out of class.

As I went to the parking lot, my mind went briefly and curiously, to Edward Jameson. More times than not, he'd leave class early and never mention why, and for some unknown reason, I wondered what he did with his time. I sat on the curb by Angela's car for the rest of the day, and just waited for her to meet me there to give me a lift home.

When I saw her approach, I stood and waited for her to unlock the door. She said some things to me, and I'd just nod but say nothing. When she pulled up to my house, I might have said thanks, but I soon found myself sitting on my bed, just staring at the wall blankly as the hours ticked by.

For the rest of the week, I walked around school like a zombie, and at home, I managed to avoid seeing Charlie. His best friend Harry just passed away, so when he wasn't working, he was spending most of his time at the Clearwater house in order to help his family. And when Charlie _was_ home, I told him I was at a friend's place, and I hid in the woods behind the house until he left again.

Charlie must have done something with my truck, because it wasn't at the house, and it wasn't where I left it around the block. Most of me was too emotionally numb to give a damn what happened to the rusty old clunker, but there was a small part of me that hoped I never saw that damn truck again. I needed something to blame for what happened to me, and the truck was the obvious culprit.

I managed to make it through the weekend without any issues. Apparently, Harry's son Seth needed some guy time, so Charlie took him on a fishing trip. However, I was happy to have the house to myself; I was completely alone anyway, so I might as well have been physically alone as well.

The following week came, and I didn't even have to call Angela at that point, she just showed up at my house in the morning, so I'd climb inside her car, and we'd ride silently to school. I decided that sitting with my friends at lunch was pointless, so I went to the far corner of the cafeteria and sat alone at the table which had only ever been occupied by the reclusive Edward Jameson.

After lunch, I was walking to bio with my head down, when suddenly I was drenched with water. I looked up and saw Lauren and Conner laughing hysterically.

"I did it for your own good Bella," Lauren said between laughter as she held the empty plastic bottle which had been full of the water that was dripping off of me. "Damn, you should really stop showing up to school stoned all the time, it's not healthy."

If she had done that two weeks ago, I would have punched her in the jaw, but at the moment, I just didn't care. I continued on to class, but Angela stopped me.

"Bella, why are you all wet?" she asked concerned.

I shrugged, and continued on.

"Bella, wait!" she called after me, and then grabbed my hand, and led me to her car.

"Schools not over yet," I said somberly.

"It is for us, get in," Angela ordered, so I did, and she started driving. "Bella, something happened to you, and I know it was a whole lot more serious than banging your face into the steering wheel."

Being thrown water on at school actually seemed to help wake me up a bit, and I was finally able to comprehend the words that Angela was saying to me.

"I'm fine," I said quietly.

"Really? Because I don't think you are. You haven't talked to anyone for almost two weeks, you walk around like…."

"Two weeks?" I asked confused. "What day is it?"

"It's Wednesday."

_How the hell did it get to Wednesday already?_

"Oh, I thought it was Monday."

Angela pulled into her driveway, and she led me into the house and up to her room where she shut the door behind her.

"Ok, you know you can trust me with anything, right?" she asked me seriously.

"I told you, I'm fine."

"You know, we haven't been friends for that long, but I've always felt like I could tell you anything, so here it goes. I had sex with Ben," she said unexpectedly, which completely grabbed my attention.

"What?" I asked incredulously.

"I know, I know. Everyone thinks I'm this goodie, goodie daughter of a minister, who was going to remain a virgin until marriage. But Ben and I went on this date last weekend, and then the weekend before that we danced together the whole time at that club, and it was just so perfect. Well, we started kissing, and one thing led to another, and I just didn't want to stop. I haven't told anyone about this, because the last thing I want is everyone knowing. Jessica has been my friend since kindergarten, but I feel closer to you and you have really become my best friend."

"Do you love him?" I asked slowly.

"I know that I really _like_ him. But love is something so much deeper than I'm ready for at this point. I always swore to myself that I'd wait until I was in love before having sex, but…sometimes I'm just tired of being scared all the time."

"Scared of what?" I asked confused.

"Scared of making wrong choices and screwing everything up for myself; scared of disappointing my parents, but mostly, scared of life all together. I don't want to look back on my life and see that I was too scared to have fun and…make mistakes. How the hell am I supposed to find who I truly am, if I don't make some bad choices along the way? You can't learn how to run, without falling a few times first.

"So, is Ben your boyfriend now?"

"Yeah, we're having a lot of fun. Is it going to last forever? Probably not, but I'm sure as hell not going to regret it either. Bella, whatever happened, I want to be here for you as much as I possibly can. I want to help get you through this." Angela paused and swallowed hard. "Did you get into a fight with Charlie or something…did he hit you?"

"What? No," I said quickly. The last thing I wanted was for her to come to _that_ wrong conclusion.

"Bella, you can trust me."

"I was raped," I said abruptly. I wasn't even planning to tell her, especially not at that moment, but it just came out like a river through a cracked damn.

"Bella," Angela said horrified, and put her hands to her face as her eyes began to tear up. "When, where?"

"Last Monday, or maybe it was two Monday's ago now, I sort of lost track of the days."

Angela listened while I told her everything, and for the first time since the moment it happened, I cried. We both cried as she held me in her arms and let me know that I wasn't alone. I didn't realize how much I needed someone, anyone, until that moment. I had no idea how long I would have been able to survive in the hollow shell I had been living in since it happened, but I knew that really feeling the pain was the only way to move past it.

"Have you told Charlie?" Angela asked me softly, still keeping her arms wrapped around my shoulders.

"No. I just wanted to forget about it and make it go away. I didn't even tell my mom."

"Bella, you need to go to the hospital to get checked out. You can go to the free clinic if you don't want to tell Charlie, but I really think he should know."

"Charlie and I are still getting to know each other, I'd just feel weird telling him something like this. Besides, he's a cop and all he's going to want to do is hunt the guy down, and he won't give up until he's caught him."

"Good. That bastard needs to get caught. But Bella, he's your father first, and he'll make sure that you're Ok before he goes on a justice mission. Maybe try calling your mom first, or here…" Angela stood up from where we were sitting on her bed, and she pulled out an envelope from her drawer and handed it to me.

"What's this?" I asked confused.

"It money. Go buy yourself a plane ticket to see your mom, there's probably enough for two round trip tickets in there, and I can go with you if you want."

"Oh Angela, I can't take your money. Isn't this your savings for Europe after graduation next summer?"

"Yes you can take it, and so, I'll go to Europe the following summer, not a big deal," she assured me.

"I love you, you know that?" I said honestly.

"Well, I love you too. And even though all this would have never happened to you if you stayed with your mom, I'm still grateful to have you in my life."

"I'm grateful to have you too," I said, and handed her back the envelope. "I really appreciate this, but I don't want to fly anywhere. I'll tell my mom, but for the safety of every male in Washington, I'll do it over the phone. But…will you come with me to tell my dad?"

I never wanted to tell Charlie, but now that I was semi-coherent again, I realized that Angela was right. Charlie needed to know, and I needed to go see a doctor.

"Of course I'll go with you," Angela said with a warm smile. Charlie was at work and wouldn't be home until late, but Angela made me call and ask him to meet me right away, before I lost my nerve. Charlie was confused as to why I'd want him home immediately, but agreed and said he'd be home in twenty minutes.

We sat on my couch, and I anxiously ripped apart a box of tissue as we waited. When I heard Charlie's cruiser pull up, my heart started beating rapidly, but Angela grabbed hand reassuringly and I took a calming deep breath.

"Hey, what's going on?" Charlie asked as he came in and saw Angela there with me. But then he looked closer, and saw my face. "Bella, what happened to you?" he asked with mix of concern and protective fierceness.

"That's what I needed to talk to you about," I said slowly. "Dad, the day my truck broke down, I was attacked while I was walking home."

"Attacked?" He asked as all the color left his face. "Attacked how?"

"There was a truck that slowed down and stopped behind me, and I got scared so I turned back around, and….there was a man there, wearing a mask. I tried to get away, but he caught me…." I couldn't finish, I just started crying. I couldn't see Charlie's face through my tears, but the moment I felt his protective arms around me, I sunk into his embrace.

"Did he…?" Charlie asked, not being able to say the words himself either. I nodded into his chest, and he tightened his grip on me. I could feel his body tremble as he tried to stay strong for me, but he couldn't contain the tears from spilling out of his eyes and onto my shoulder. He kissed my head and rubbed my hair, and for the first time since it happened, I felt safe.

* * *

***FYI, this is not a story about B and E as teens, that's just where their journey begins. Soon we'll jump ahead a few years and bring them together again. So, if you were hoping for a good high school drama, this isn't it.**

***Hospital, and some upsetting news, coming up next.**


	5. Time

**Innocent Sins**

**WARNING: If you are sensitive on issues of abortion, then you might want to skip this chapter. If you PM me, I can send you an edited summary. Even though I wrote about this topic, that doesn't mean that I personally agree or disagree with the decisions that the fictional character makes, it's just a story and not meant to offend anyone. If any aspects are inaccurate, then please excuse them. I did some research but because this is FICTION, I didn't feel the need to make it entirely factual. Thanks.**

A/N: This chapter spans almost year, because I didn't want to focus too much on this particular time of Bella's life. Though it is an important time, I just wanted to speed it up so we could move on and bring Edward back into it. I hope it doesn't feel too rushed, but if so, oh well, Edward is coming and no one will even remember this soon. Lol.

* * *

~Chapter 5 – _Time_~

BPOV

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" Charlie's voice broke and he swallowed back his horror.

"I just…didn't know how."

Charlie turned to Angela. "Thank you for helping my baby," he said emotionally.

"She's my best friend," she said to him, as if there wasn't a question about it.

"Bella, we need to get you to the hospital," he said quietly.

I nodded, so he loosened his hold on me, and helped me stand up. "Will you come?" I asked Angela.

"Of course," she said with a caring smile.

It was oddly strange that I was most comfortable in the back of Charlie's cruiser, with Angela sitting next to me. Most people would be terrified to sit in the back of a police car, but there was no other means of transportation I'd rather be in.

"Bella, do you want me to call your mom?" Charlie asked me while we were in route.

"No. I'll call her after I see the doctor. She'd just freak out, and I really can't deal with that until I know for a fact that I'm fine."

Charlie wasn't happy about keeping it from Renee, but he understood and decided to just support me until I was ready to call her. When we got to the hospital, I started shaking and realized that I was actually terrified of getting checked. I really couldn't imagine such a personal exam at the moment, but even more than the physical aspect, I was scared of what they would find.

I was a virgin when I was attacked, and though I didn't count being raped as losing my virginity, I worried that I could have gotten some horrible disease and never actually _want_ to have sex for the rest of my life.

Charlie explained to the nurse why I was there, as Angela sat with me in one of the waiting chairs. I wasn't in hearing range of what Charlie was telling the receptionist, but I could see the look on his face, and the stress that was there made him look ten years older. I felt bad for burdening him with the truth, but that guilt didn't last longer than a moment, because I was just extremely grateful that I wasn't alone anymore.

"It should only be a minute," Charlie said as he came to sit with us. "They are going to give you an exam, and then run a few tests, just to make sure you're okay."

"Isabella?" the nurse asked me. I nodded, so she smiled reassuringly. "Come with me, sweetheart."

"O-okay," I said nervously.

"I'll be right out here," Charlie told me supportively.

"Would you like your sister to come in with you?" the nurse asked me, in reference to Angela. I looked at her, not sure if she would be comfortable with something like that, and she nodded to me, so I nodded to her.

I held Angela's arm as we walked, and when we got to the small room, my fear doubled.

"You don't have to be afraid of anything, if something makes you uncomfortable, just let the doctor know and she'll stop," The nurse said as she put a horrid blue paper robe on the table.

"Uh, thanks," I said uneasy.

The nurse left, and Angela stepped outside so I could get changed. I had an overwhelming desire to flee the situation, but I forced myself to stay and get checked out. I owed Charlie that much.

I opened the door and let Angela back in, and five minutes later, the doctor walked in as well.

"Isabella, I'm Doctor Charlotte Peters," she introduced herself.

"Um, Bella," I corrected her.

"I'm sorry Bella, and who's this?" she asked while looking at Angela.

"This is my friend Angela," I told her. I planned to tell her that she was my sister, because I wasn't sure if 'friends' were allowed to be there, but I decided that if I told one lie, others were sure to follow.

"Well, friends are definitely good to have," Dr. Peters said kindly.

"That, they are," I agreed.

"Now Bella, I need to ask you some tuff questions, and if you are uncomfortable with any of them, just say 'next', and I'll move on."

"Ok."

"Now you are here, because you were sexually assaulted, is that correct?" she asked.

I nodded, so she continued.

"How long ago did the incident take place?"

"Uh…last Monday," I said quietly.

"Ok, so about ten days ago then?"

I nodded.

"When you were attacked, was there penetration?"

I nodded again.

"Ok, now since it was a little while ago now, there aren't any samples we can take, and it's too late to take the Plan B pill."

"What's that?" I asked confused.

"It's an emergency contraceptive pill that can prevent pregnancy up to seventy two hours after intercourse."

Suddenly there was a buzzing in my ears and I started to feel sick. I considered STDs, but stupidly, never even once thought about the possibility of being pregnant.

"Are you still with me?" the doctor asked me, and though I was on the verge of losing it, I nodded.

"What's the possibility that I could have gotten pregnant from that?"

"Well, it all depends. Being sexually assaulted can come in all different levels. Many assailants use condoms to avoid leaving any evidence behind, and others don't even ejaculate. We won't know for sure until we run all the tests. Do you know when your last period was?"

I thought about it, but thinking that far back just gave me a headache, so I shook my head no.

"That's Ok. After the physical exam, we'll run your blood and test for several different things. It's still a little early for a pregnancy to be detected, so you may have to come back and retest, but we'll see."

The doctor instructed me to lie back, and after I cringed through her exam, I got redressed and a female officer came in to take my statement. I told her everything I knew, but it wasn't much to go on. I described the truck, but there were no plates, so that wasn't very helpful either. I guessed that his height was six feet and maybe an inch or two, but I couldn't be sure. She wrote it all down, and looked at me full of pity. She knew my dad, so of course she was going to feel sorry for me, but I really hated the expression on her face; I didn't want her pity, I just wanted to be left alone, especially by strangers.

After the officer left, it was on to the lab to get a blood test. As uncomfortable as it all was, I was expecting a lot worse. Charlie held my hand as they drew my blood, and I of course, looked away. I always hated needles, and the fact that they could potentially be removing diseased blood from my veins, only made it worse.

The results wouldn't be in for a few days, so we went home and Charlie ordered a pizza. Angela spent the night, and even though Charlie said I didn't have to go to school until I was ready, I decided that I had already missed too much when I walked around in a daze for over a week. Angela drove us to school, and instead of walking off as I had before, we walked together. But school was different that day; it was the first time being there since before _it_ happened, that I was actually thinking clearly.

I looked at everyone as I passed, and every guy of a certain build, absolutely terrified me. I had no idea who hurt me, and I realized that it could have been absolutely anyone; a fellow student, a teacher, the janitor, or even the crossing guard.

I looked at every single male around six feet tall, as a potential threat, and I started to become paranoid. I sat in class and just kept scanning the room, searching for anyone who may be watching me, or look like they're hiding something.

"How are you doing?" Angela asked me at lunch.

"Fine. Did you know that Derik is almost six feet tall?" I asked anxiously.

"Yeah, he's on the basketball team. Why?"

"And August is even taller than him," I said.

"Yeah, they are both on the basketball team and the volleyball team. Bella, I can take you home if you want."

"No, I'm not going to let that son of a bitch ruin any more of my life. I'm already falling behind, and I'll be damned if I miss anymore school over this."

"Okay," she said full of concern.

"Charlie said that there's a good chance that whoever did _it_ to me, was probably just a drifter and has already moved on to a different town by now, so I'm fine. I'm going to get past this." I said confidently, even if I didn't feel so sure on the inside.

I forced myself to focus, and push through the rest of my classes. I just needed to take one day at a time, and eventually, I knew I'll be able to hold my head up again.

The hospital lab had called and said that the results were inconclusive, so I would have to retest, which would only prolong my fear. After letting another two week go by, I went to get another blood test.

The following week came, and though I wasn't back to normal, I was definitely putting on a good impression of being normal. Other than Angela, my friends never knew what happened to me and why I acted crazy for a few weeks, but they all seemed to welcome me back into the group, no questions asked.

When I got home from school that Friday, I was surprised to see Charlie waiting for me.

"Hey, what's up?" I asked him, knowing he was scheduled to be at work.

"Dr. Peters called, she said that your new results are in, and we needed to go get them in person."

"Oh…okay." I said feeling terrified again.

We drove to the hospital, and we were escorted into a private room right away. It wasn't an exam room; it was more of an office with a desk and chairs. We sat, and only had to wait five minutes before Dr. Peters came into the room with a large folder in her hands.

"Hello again, Bella. And you must be her father?"

"Charlie," He told her.

"It's nice to meet you Charlie; I only wish it was under better circumstances." She sat across from us, and opened the folder to start reading the results.

"Well, I do have _some_ good news. We ran all the tests and there is no trace of any STDs of any kind."

Charlie and I both took a deep breath of relief, but the doctor had more to say.

"But, unfortunately, the test did indicate that you are in fact _pregnant_," she said slowly.

Charlie stopped breathing, and I felt like I was completely falling. All my efforts to remain focused and rational just went right out the window, and my vision started blurring.

"Now, you are still very early, and home pregnancy tests wouldn't even be able to pick up on the hormone change yet, but our blood tests are more sensitive than that. An abortion at this stage would be fairly simple, but if you want to wait, you have until the twenty third week to make that decision."

I looked at Charlie, and he looked like he was going to have an aneurism. "It's your decision, kiddo," he managed to say.

"I just want to go home right now," I said in a shaky voice.

"So, other than…_this_, she's going to be fine physically?" Charlie asked.

"Yes, she'll make a full recovery. But I do recommend that she starts with counseling immediately."

"Of course. Come on Bells," Charlie said somberly, and grabbed my hand to leave.

I felt sick and disgusted again, as if _it_ happened to me a second time. I thought I had washed him off of me, I thought I was physically rid of him, but he was there all along, growing inside of me. I wanted to hide in my room, but I couldn't escape because I carried him everywhere I went. I had an overwhelming desire to claw at my abdomen until I ripped the disgusting monster out of me. I laid awake in my room all night, contemplating the fact that I had the seed of Satan growing inside of me, but I just wasn't ready to make the decision to get an abortion yet. I had no idea what I was waiting for, but every time I decided to end it, I would always come up with an excuse not to. Either, it was snowing and I didn't want to leave the house, or I had some kind of project to do at school and I didn't want to take any time off. The days turned into weeks, and before I knew it, it had been eight weeks since I was attacked. I still never told Renee, and I didn't plan to until I made my decision. Renee was a hippy of sorts, and strictly against abortion, so I wanted to make that decision before she found out.

Time was running out. I didn't personally have a problem with abortion at such an early stage, especially when the pregnancy was a result of a rape, but I certainly didn't want to wait until the embryo was more formed, so I needed to make up my mind.

"Dad, I want to go back to the hospital today," I told him one morning.

"Ok, let's get dressed and head over there," he said quietly, understanding what I meant.

We got dressed, and the closer we got to the hospital, the more sure I became. I was finally ready to put it all behind me once and for all, and I felt relieved because the end was in sight.

Charlie called ahead for the appointment, so we didn't have to wait. I was immediately taken to the room where the procedure would take place, and was given the dreaded blue gown. I put it on, and waited alone for the doctor to come in**. **I didn't want Charlie in there with me, and even though Angela had been with me every step of the way, I just wanted to be alone for the last step.

"Hello Bella, are you doing Ok right now?" the doctor asked as she came into the room with a nurse.

"Yeah, just a little nervous."

"Ok, now, you already signed all the paperwork, so we'll get started. This is a nonsurgical procedure, so there will only be mild discomfort, just some cramping. Okay?"

I nodded, but couldn't help a tear from escaping down my cheek.

"Ok, this will feel a little cold at first. Are you doing Ok?" she asked me as she stuck something in me.

I turned my head, and there besides me, was a small monitor with a black and white picture on it. I didn't know what I was looking at, but there was a tiny flickering in the center.

"What's that?" I asked quickly.

The doctor came around and saw what I was looking at, "Oh," she said, and turned the monitor away from me.

"What was that?" I asked again.

"We don't usually have the monitor facing the patient, I'm very sorry. That was the ultrasound picture; we need it in order to locate the embryo."

"But what was the flickering?" I asked.

The doctor looked at me considerately for a moment. "That was the embryo's heartbeat," she said slowly.

"What? That was the baby? Can I see it again?"

"Of course you can," she said and turned the monitor back towards me. I looked at the image and though it didn't look like anything I could recognize, I couldn't take my eyes off the tiny flickering.

I wasn't like Renee, I never believed that a baby was a baby until it was born, or at least big enough to survive outside the womb, but seeing the heartbeat made my whole attitude change.

"I want to go home now," I told the doctor.

She nodded, and pulled the instrument away from me before turning off the machine. "You still have until the twenty third week to change your mind."

I nodded, and when she left, I got redressed.

"Hey," Charlie said as I walked into the waiting room. "Should you be walking?" he asked concerned.

"I didn't go through with it," I told him sheepishly. "I'm just not ready to do something like that yet. I'm sorry."

"No, baby, don't ever be sorry. I told you, it's your decision entirely. Are you OK?"

"Yeah, but I just want to go back home."

I never really made a decision whether or not I was going to go back to try the abortion again, but my lack of deciding made my choice for me, and I finally told my mother. She cried, and flew in to hold me herself. She wanted to take me home with her, but I just smiled and said that I _was_ home. She stayed for a few weeks, and then left again, and I was completely fine with that. The twenty-third week came and went, and with it, also came an expanding waistline. When I started showing, I decided to do home schooling. I wasn't embarrassed to be pregnant, but I just didn't want to deal with all the questions and gossip.

As I got further along, I decided to look into adoption. I knew there were so many couples out there who wished for a baby, and even though I wasn't able to go through with an abortion, I still didn't think that I was ready to be a parent. But more importantly, I didn't think that I'd ever be able to _love_ the baby because of how it was conceived, and that wasn't fair to it. I asked Charlie about his opinion, but all he'd say was that it was up to me.

No matter what happened in my life, I knew I would always remember how it felt to have the baby moving inside of me. It started out as just a tickle, soon after that it turned into a bubbly feeling, and before I knew it, I could feel little feet under my rib cage. I went to all my prenatal appointments, and took all my vitamins, but I didn't want to see another ultrasound. I needed to make the best decision for the both of us, and I didn't want to be influenced by _seeing_ it again.

Angela came over a few times a week, and she would giggle with me as we watched the baby move in my stomach.

"Wow, you could actually see it moving," Angela said excitedly.

"I know, it's kind of creepy huh? Hey watch this…" I said, and put a water bottle on top of my huge bulge, and waited until the baby's movements actually knocked it down.

"That's crazy," she said with a smile. "So, have you picked out a couple to adopt it yet?"

"No, I've been meeting with an agency and looking at family profiles, I just don't know what to do."

"Well, are you thinking about keeping it?"

"No. I don't think that would be best. Maybe if I was older…but even then, what the hell am I supposed to say to it when it asks me where its dad is?"

"I don't know. But if you really want to keep the baby, you'll have time to think about that."

"But, I worry that I'll look at the baby and feel resentment towards it. How could I love something that's half of the ass-hole who raped me?"

"Bella, you are one of the most caring people I know, I really don't think that _love_ will be an issue for you."

I rubbed my stomach with my hand, and pushed on whatever appendage that was poking out, until it moved away from my touch. "I know that I'll love it, cause I already do. But I still think that it would be more fair to give the baby parents who can care for it the way it deserves to be. I mean, I'm only seventeen."

"Just remember that age is only a number, but what you do in the years that you've lived, is what truly counts."

"Wow, Ange; that was poetic," I joked.

"Shakespeare has nothing on Hallmark," she said, and we both laughed.

I was huge and achy, and so ready for the pregnancy to be over. But I knew that once the baby was out, it wouldn't be mine anymore because I'd be giving it to strangers to care for. So a part of me wanted to stay pregnant for as long as possible.

Since I was rapidly approaching my due date, I was never alone. When Charlie couldn't be with me because he had to work, either Angela would stay, or Charlie's friend Sue would come sit with me. I actually missed my alone time, but I appreciated their concern.

My water broke on a Thursday night, and Charlie was grateful that he just happened to have the evening off. He rushed me to the hospital, and called Angela to come meet us. Not only had Angela become like a sister to me, but she also volunteered to be my labor partner. Renee planned on flying out to be with me, but I begged Charlie to wait and call her when I was done. I loved my mother to death, but sometimes she could be erratic, and I just needed to try to remain calm.

And on Friday morning, September tenth, at three thirty am, my baby girl was born. I held her in my arms and cried, as her loud screams filled the room. She looked up at me with her wide eyes, and I just couldn't imagine a love greater than that. All my fears about seeing her only as the result of my rape, were completely unfounded. She was _my_ baby, and that's the only way I'd ever see her.

Charlie came in to see her, and he cried as I put her in his arms.

"Ah Bella, she's so beautiful; just like you."

I smiled as I watched my father holding my daughter, and I knew without a doubt that I could never let her go.

"Dad…" I said hesitantly.

"What's up sweetheart , do you need something?"

"Yeah. I _need_ to bring her home."

Charlie nodded and smiled before saying, "I know."

"Thanks dad," I said sincerely. "And you won't have to worry about anything. I need help financially, but other than that, I'm going to take care of everything, and still graduate from high school."

Charlie nodded as he stared at the baby sleeping in the hospital basinet. "But there's one thing you have to do first."

"What?" I asked confused.

"You have to give this little peanut a name."

"Oh, well, I've been thinking about that.

"And?" he asked curiously.

"I want to name her after you and Angela."

Charlie seemed surprised and flattered, but a little confused. "You want to name her Angela Charles?"

"Well, I was thinking more along the lines of Carlie Angela. Carlie is kind of a feminine version of Charlie, and its different without being weird."

"Carlie, huh? I like it. Thanks honey."

* * *

***Ok, those who have read my last three stories, aren't surprised by the baby's name being Carlie. The name Renesmee isn't practical for this story because Esme hasn't even come into the picture yet. Nessie might be Ok for a half vampire, but as a human, it's just too strange. Carlie was her middle name in the book, so it's still true to the character. Edward is coming next and Bella's not the only one who's changed since they saw each other last. PLEASE REVIEW***


	6. Searching for Rainbows

**Innocent Sins**

~Chapter 6 –_Searching for Rainbows_~

BPOV

I had my life all planned out. I was going to graduate at the top of my class, and then go on to college and major in English before becoming a book editor. I was going to find someone to marry, and have two point five kids, a cat, and two dogs….

But life didn't ask me what I wanted.

I never went back to high school, and though I did get a GED, most colleges didn't hold a GED on the same level as a real diploma. So I went to the local junior college, but because I needed a full time job, as well as my other responsibilities at home, I finished the two year curriculum of the JC, in four years. I worked at the town diner most days, and was off for a few hours for family time, but then it was night courses at the JC. When I moved on the state college, it was much the same, but I underestimated the stress of college, work, and being a single mom. Of course, Charlie helped as much as he could, but he worked long hours and was busy enough on his own. So, I dropped out of school.

I hated being a waitress, but I just really didn't have the resume for anything else and in a small town like Forks, there weren't many career opportunities anyway.

"Carlie, hurry down so you can eat and finish your homework!" I yelled at her from the bottom of the stairs.

"Ok momma," she responded and came skipping down.

As much as I hated my job, and my lack of doing anything fulfilling as far as education was concerned, I still wouldn't change anything. Carlie was the most vibrant ball of happiness that I had ever seen, and I couldn't imagine my life without her. I knew without a doubt that I would do it all again, because I'd do absolutely anything for her.

"When is grandpa going to be home?" Carlie asked in her sweet little voice.

"Uh, I think he works tonight," I told her as I quickly put her dinner on the table.

"But you work too," she complained.

"I know baby, but Sue is coming over to watch you."

"Mom, I'm six. I don't need anyone to watch me," she said determinedly and crossed her arms in front of her chest.

"Right, but because it's against the law, and grandpa is the police chief, I think we'll just have to make sure that you don't stay alone." I said with a smile, and kissed her on her porcelain cheek.

Carlie was absolutely beautiful. Without knowing what half of her relatives looked like, I figured she could have had any kind of features whatsoever, but everything about her was perfect. She had a pretty face shape and full lips, which I didn't recognize as being similar to anyone in my family. Her long light brown hair had reddish highlights in the sun, and her eyes were brown, but swirled with green and utterly stunning.

Every time I took Carlie into the city, I always had strangers come up to me and say that Carlie needed to be a model because she was so beautiful, so I'd just smile and say thank you. Even when she was a baby, I'd carry her around and people would stop me just to get a better look at her.

Sue arrived finally, so I kissed Carlie again and headed out to work.

"You're late," the owner said as I walked into the diner.

"I know, sorry, got held up."

"I need you to be here on time, or I'll just find a replacement for you."

"Yes sir, I completely understand. Won't happen again, sir."

"You say that every time," he complained.

"And yet, I'm still here working," I said with attitude.

"You can thank your father for that. If you were anyone else besides the police chief's daughter, I would have canned you a long time ago."

"Yes Marcus, of course," I said indifferently.

It was a week night, so it was pretty slow, but we had some regulars there who kept us on our toes.

"Hey, Bella."

"Hi Jacob, what can I get for you today?" I asked him as I brought him a menu and a glass of water.

"Uh, I'll have my usual."

"Ok, it'll be right up."

Jacob was the son of one of my dad's friends. Our fathers have always tried to set us up on dates, but I really wasn't interested. I knew Charlie was worried about my lack of interest in finding a romantic relationship, but I just couldn't imagine being with someone in that way, or even finding the time to try. I lived a full life, and I really didn't want or _need_ anyone else.

"Hey Bells, I was thinking, I'd really like to take Carlie to a Mariners game this season. You would be more than welcome to come along as well," Jacob said with a smile. Even though I wasn't interested in him, he didn't feel the same way.

"I don't think that's such a good idea, Jake."

"Oh come on, it's not a date. We'll just go as friends."

"Friends?" I said in disbelief.

"Friends," he assured me.

"Ok, well, just give me a call and we'll set something up."

"Can't wait."

"Yeah, _Carlie_ will be excited," I said, making sure that I emphasized the Carlie part. Jake volunteered as the soccer coach at the local YMCA, so Carlie absolutely adored him.

"Cool," Jake said.

"Isabella, this isn't social hour. Get back to work!" Marcus yelled at me. No matter how many times I asked him to call me Bella, he refused, saying that he wasn't my friend, so why would he call me what my friends do.

Every night after work, I'd get in the shower and I could just smell the disgusting scent of the diner fryer washing off of me; it made me gag almost every time. I knew I needed a change; I just had no idea what.

"Here momma, I made this for you," Carlie said as I was doing the dishes one night.

"Oh, honey, it's beautiful," I said as I looked at the picture of a rainbow.

"Did you know that rainbows are made from rain and sun?" she asked me excitedly.

"Did you learn that in class?" I asked her with a smile.

"Yep, and guess what."

"What?"

"When I fell and scraped my knee, Sue said that feeling sad was like the rain and being happy was like the sun. So without being sad sometimes, we'd never have rainbows."

"I guess that's true. I never thought about it like that, but Sue's right."

"And, there's a pot of gold at the end of every one. So the next time we see a rainbow, we should chase it and then you won't have to work anymore, cause we'll have the gold."

"Ok, next rainbow we see, we'll go chase it," I promised. It wasn't sunny much in Forks, so I didn't have to worry about following through right away. Carlie was still young, and I didn't want to burden her with the harsh realities of life just yet. She would learn all too soon that fairies and leprechauns weren't real and the world wasn't as wonderful as she believed, so I wanted to keep her innocent dreams alive for as long as possible.

The next morning I took Carlie to school, and then I headed to work again. As I got closer however, there were tons of police and fire engines blocking the street. I got out of my car and walked onto the scene, where I saw Charlie.

"Hey, what's going on?" I asked him.

"Oh, hey honey. I'm sorry you had to find out like this, but the diner burned down last night."

"What? What happened?" I said shocked.

"We still don't know for sure, we think the fire started in the kitchen, but we won't be sure until a full investigation is carried out."

_Great._

Since I was out of a job and there weren't any other diners in town, I went straight to the grocery store to apply for a job there.

"Hey Bella," a familiar voice said as I entered the store.

"Oh, hey Jessica. What are you doing here?" I asked her.

"We're opening a bank branch here in the store," she explained.

"Oh right, you work for the bank," I remembered.

"Yeah. Thank god I don't work at the actual store like that loser Lauren. So, whatcha shopping for today?"

"Not shopping. I'm applying for a job."

"Oh…sorry."

"Not a big deal. I'll see you later," I told her and went to the offices in the back. I never told anyone what happened to me resulting in my pregnancy, but it was a small town and people talked. Some thought that I was just a slut who got pregnant by a guy I didn't know at a party in the city. Lauren started that rumor, so I really wasn't too excited about the idea of working with her at the store, but I didn't have many options.

Lauren got pregnant soon after I did, but she actually did get pregnant from sleeping with random guys. She had worked at the store ever since dropping out of high school after her daughter was born, and she had since become the manager. As the manager, she had full authority of all the hiring and firing so I was doubtful that I'd even get a job there.

"Bella, what a pleasant surprise," Lauren said sarcastically.

"Look, I realize that we have never really gotten along, but you know what it's like to be a single mom, and I really need the work," I said hoping that Lauren wasn't as heartless as she seemed to be.

"I really don't have a problem with hiring you Bella. I would actually love to hear you call me ma'am and have to do everything I say…but sorry, we just don't have any openings right now. Old Man River over there, might keel over soon, so maybe you'll get lucky," she said mockingly.

"Are you ever going to grow out of being a bitch?" I asked her.

"Probably not, but at least _I'm _an employed bitch."

I went home feeling like a total failure. _How the hell was I supposed to find a job?_

After three days of unemployment, I really thought I was going to go insane, but then I got an unexpected visitor.

"Angela, hey, what are you doing here?" I asked thrilled to see her. She had been living in Seattle and since it was over three hours away, I didn't get to see her too much.

"I'm in town to visit of course, but I also wanted to ask you something."

"Ok, shoot."

"Well, Ben and I sort of broke up."

"What? Oh that's…well, is that a bad thing or a good thing?" I asked tentatively.

"I think it' a good thing. We've been together forever and we just really need a break. So that means that we won't be living together anymore, and I'll have to move from my condo that I just love so much…._unless_ I can find a roommate to help me out with rent."

"Oh, are you going to put an ad out, or something?"

"No, I was hoping _you'd_ come live with me. I talked to Charlie yesterday on the phone, and he said you were having a hard time getting a job here, so I suggested that you come stay with me and he thinks that's a great idea."

"Angela, that's really sweet, but I can't take Carlie out of school…"

"There are schools in Seattle," Angela argued.

"But we've always lived with Charlie, and…"

"And it's time to get out on your own. Charlie won't be alone anyway; we both know his friendship with Sue has _benefits_. Maybe if he wasn't so involved with you and Carlie, he'd actually move forward with his romance."

"I don't know. I need to think about it."

"Ok, but just don't think too long. I need to make a decision with my condo."

Angela left to go visit her parents, and when Charlie got home, we sat down to talk about it.

"I think it could be really good for you Bells. Now you know I love having you and Carlie here, but you need to find a real life for yourself….and maybe a boyfriend. God knows I tried to get you together with Jake and it hasn't worked. So go out there, and find someone yourself."

"Ok, if I do go, it will have nothing to do with finding a guy," I said uncomfortable about having that conversation with Charlie.

"Ok, well, a change will be good anyway. You're twenty four years old, and you live like an old spinster."

"Yeah, you should talk," I rebutted.

"Touché," he agreed.

A week later, Carlie came home from school with a black eye. She said she got into a fight on the way home, because someone called her a bastard. She didn't know what the word meant, but she knew it wasn't good. And that was the day that we saw a rainbow, which I took as a sign.

I called Angela and agreed to move to Seattle with her. Living in a small conservative town wasn't the place to be a single mom, and the fact that kids were being mean to Carlie, further proved that it was time for a change.

Living in the city was a definite adjustment. It was like being swept up in a tornado and dumped in an entirely new land. Angela's condo was only a two bedroom, but there was a loft that we converted into a room for Carlie, which she was excited about. I got a job as a bar tender at a bar close by, which was actually perfect. I made good tips and worked at night so I could attend classes during the day. I signed up for an eighteen month nursing program, and when Carlie was at school, I was learning how to poke people with…needles. UGH!

I wasn't thrilled about having to draw blood, but I liked helping people and it was definitely a good change.

The next year and a half flew by. Carlie was flourishing in her new school, and she was rapidly approaching her eighth birthday. Even though I didn't love nursing, I did fairly well in the classes and I had just been hired at a nearby hospital, but I was always on the lookout for another rainbow to guide me.

"Hello, you must be our new nurse?" A large woman asked me as I walked aimlessly through the hospital.

"Yes, I'm Bella Swan."

"Wonderful, I'm Nurse Siobhan. Unfortunately, we're having a very busy day and I don't have time to show you around."

"Uh…okay," I said not sure what to do.

"Oh, I know. Go up to the pediatric floor and find the rec room. Right now they are having circle time, but they should be finished in just a few minutes. Ask Mr. Cullen to show you around, tell him I sent you." Siobhan didn't wait for me to ask any questions, she just rushed away.

"Okay," I said to myself. I went to the elevator and up to the pediatric floor. I had no idea where the rec room was, but it seemed as though the floor was just one big circle, so I just walked until I saw a sign that read _Recreation Room_. Ironically, as I got closer, I could hear the Hawaiian version of '_Somewhere Over the Rainbow'_, so I knew beyond a doubt that I was heading in the right direction. And when I looked inside the opened door to the room, I saw that it wasn't a recording like I expected. A bunch of kids wearing hospital robes, were sitting in a circle and singing along with a man playing a ukulele.

The man had his back to me, so I just stood there in the doorway and listened to him sing. He had a beautiful voice and the kids' tiny singing just added to the calming tone. As I listened closer, I could have sworn that I heard him before somewhere, but I had no idea where.

When the song was finished, the kids all clapped and jumped up to give the man a hug.

"You guys were awesome," the man said softly as he hugged all of them, and then I realized why I recognized his singing…..

It was Edward Jameson.

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***Please Review***


	7. Cullen

**Innocent Sins**

A/N: I'm posting this chapter early, because I felt bad about the lack of interaction between E and B on the last chapter, and I got a good amount of reviews so I just wanted you to know that they were much appreciated. Thanks

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~Chapter 7 –_Cullen_~

BPOV

It was sort of surreal seeing Edward again, especially in that scenario. Many people had come and gone in my life and most were entirely forgettable. I had only known Edward for a little over a week, and probably exchanged less than a thousand words between us, but my mind would often return to him over the years, and I never really knew why.

When the kids were done hanging on him, he waved to them with a smile, and then looked up and locked eyes with me.

"Uh, hi," I said awkwardly, and he stared at me like I was crazy. "Uh…how are you?"

Edward didn't respond, he just stared at me blankly so I realized that he probably didn't even remember me.

"Edward, right? We were lab partners for like a week in high school….Uh, Bella Swan," I reminded him.

"Yeah, I remember," he said finally.

"Wow, I have to say, I never expected to see you again," I said, trying to break the ice.

"I guess I could say the same," he said while looking away and seeming distracted.

"So, how are you, where have you been all this time?" I asked him.

"Uh, all over really."

"Bye Edward, see you next week," a kid said as she walked down the hall.

"Bye Bree, take care of yourself," Edward said kindly, then turned back to me. "It was nice seeing you again, but I should be going."

"Oh, me too, I'm actually looking for a Mr. Cullen, do you know where he is?"

"Yeah, that's me," he said unexpectedly.

"Your last name is Jameson," I said curiously.

"Uh, not anymore. What do you need me for?" he said emotionlessly.

"Um, Nurse Siobhan sent me to ask you to show me around. I just got a nursing job here and everyone is too busy."

Edward seemed upset, or maybe just annoyed, I couldn't be sure.

"Yeah, Ok. Follow me," he said coldly.

He started pointing things out and giving me a brief description of what everything was.

"So, what's your job here?" I asked as we walked down a hall.

"Uh, I do most the volunteer coordination here. It's not a job, I just do it on my free time."

"That's nice of you? How did you get involved with that kind of thing?"

He looked at me intently for a moment, and then he sighed and seemed to drop the mild attitude he was carrying. "Uh, I knew the Chief of Staff here, and he asked me to come in and sing with the kids, so I did. It sort of became a thing, and I started spending more time here, and they just gave me more things to do," he explained softly.

"So, how's your dad?" I asked hesitantly. I only asked because even though it had been years, that guy still freaked me out and I hated the idea of living in the same city as him again.

"My dad?" he asked confused.

"Yeah, I met him once at the fish market. He was an acquaintance of my dad's and he introduced us."

"Oh, you mean Aaron," he said strangely.

"Yeah, your dad."

"Oh, I haven't seen him in a few years," he said peculiarly.

"You haven't seen your dad in a few _years_?" I asked incredulously.

"Yeah, we had a falling out."

"What kind of a falling out could possibly make you not speak to your father for years at a time?"

"He just did something that was…._unforgivable_. I just couldn't stay with him anymore, so I left."

"Oh," I said surprised, and decided to drop the subject. He obviously wasn't comfortable talking about it, so I wasn't about to push him, but I was relieved to know that I wouldn't be running into Aaron at the store or anything.

"Mr. Cullen, your father would like you to stop by his office before you leave today," a woman told Edward as she walked by.

"Ok, thanks."

"Didn't you just say you haven't seen your father in a while?" I asked him.

"Oh, well I haven't. She wasn't taking about my real father. Carlisle Cullen is the Chief of Staff here, and he told everyone that I was his son."

"Why would he tell them that?" I asked, but Edward looked at me like I was being too intrusive, so I smiled at him sheepishly. "Sorry, I know I'm being nosey."

"No, it's fine. Carlisle and his wife Esme, run a home for teens and young adults who don't have anywhere else to go. A guy that I knew had heard of them, and we went to the home just looking to crash for a few nights, but even though that guy left, I just connected with the people there, and I've been with his family ever since."

"So, you took their last name?"

"I just wanted to start over, and people here respect the Cullen name, so I just thought it made sense."

"Well, what do you do for a living then, if you only volunteer here?" I asked curiously.

"Um," he looked at his wrist watch. "I really need to be going."

"Oh, right. Well, thanks for the tour, and…I hope to see you around."

Edward seemed to be avoiding making eye contact with me, but as he was about to leave, he looked at me again and the intensity of his stare almost knocked me off of my feet. Even though we had met before, I never felt such a strong connection so quickly with anyone.

Edward had changed since high school. His hair was much shorter, and his whole face was clearly visible, but his biggest change seemed to be internally. He was much friendlier to people around him, and even though he still seemed guarded, he was much calmer and self-assured.

As I watched Edward walk away, I had a rush of regret wash over me. I felt like there was so much I wanted to say to him, and yet I had no idea what any of it was. But perhaps I always felt a strange connection to him. When I first heard him sing, and when he'd say the strangest stuff in class, and even when he'd hum quietly to himself. Edward was an enigma, and though it had been years, his puzzling personality was just as intriguing to me as ever.

I spent that whole week trying to get my bearings at the hospital. There was no warming up time; I was just thrown right into the mix of things, but I was grateful for it. The last thing I wanted was another monotonous job, so the organized chaos was a welcomed relief.

I usually packed my meals because the cafeteria was just awful, but I didn't have time one day, and I was forced to buy my lunch. I grudgingly went to the cafeteria on my break, and my heart actually skipped a beat when I saw Edward there. Just like when we were in high school, he was eating alone in the far corner, but we weren't high school anymore and we didn't have the superficial social barriers stopping me from approaching him.

"Hey, is this seat taken?" I asked him.

He looked up at me surprised, and although he didn't look particularly thrilled about the idea of eating with me, he didn't stop me from sitting.

"I was starting to think that we weren't going to run into each other again," I said to him.

"I'm only here on Thursdays, unless there's a specific event planned," he explained.

"Oh." Edward and I ate in awkward silence, but I kept glancing at him because he seemed like he had something he wanted to say.

"So, what do you do…other than volunteer?" I asked finally.

"Uh, a few things."

"Like what?"

"Well, I work at the home with Carlisle a lot, but other than that…." he let his sentence trail off.

I was about to ask him more mundane questions, when he finally asked me a question.

"So, how have you been? You planned to go to Washington State or something like that, right?"

"Uh, yeah, it didn't really work out. But I've been lucky mostly."

"Really?" he seemed surprised by my comment, "why?"

"Uh, my life hasn't exactly turned out as planned, but I wouldn't change anything."

Edward stared at me intensely again, almost as if he was trying to see through me or maybe even read my mind or something.

"What? Do I have something on my face?" I asked self-consciously.

"No. You're just different than how I expected," he said.

"How so?"

"I don't know, just different."

"Well, you're different as well."

"Huh? Oh, yeah well, my hair is shorter."

"No, it's more than that. You just seem so much more relaxed. You're not so fidgety anymore and I haven't heard you hum yet," I teased.

"No, I haven't hummed that song since that day when we both agreed to stop," he said with a crooked smile.

"That's too bad," I said without thinking.

"Why?"

"It was a strange choice of song, but…it was nice."

"I think you could classify most of the things I did back then as strange."

"At least you can admit it," I said with a grin.

"Of course I admit it, I knew I was strange back then, just like I know that I'm strange now. I've accepted it, and now I've moved on."

"I think its good being strange, normal is boring."

"That's not true. You seem pretty normal, and I can't imagine you ever being boring."

I had to laugh at that.

"What's so funny?" he asked.

"I'm the epitome of boring, trust me."

"I doubt that," he said humorlessly.

"Oh, look. My lunch break is over and I didn't even eat anything," I said wishing that I had another hour with Edward.

"I need to be going too, but it was good to talk to you," he said while his eyes burrowed into mine.

"Yeah, you too," I said sincerely.

I went back to work, but I couldn't get Edward out of my mind. I even found myself looking around, hoping I'd get a glance of him as I did my rounds. It was a strange irrational feeling, but I just couldn't push it away either. I _wanted_ to talk to him again, and that desire only grew the longer I went without crossing paths with him. Eventually that _want_ turned into a _need _of sorts, so I waited for a Thursday and then sought him out.

I looked on the hospital directory, and found the volunteer offices, and knocked lightly.

"Come in," he said, so I slowly pushed open the door. He didn't look up at me right away, he was busy writing something in a folder, so I cleared my throat and he lifted his eyes to mine. "Bella, hey, what can I do for you?"

"Uh, well, I wanted to set up a volunteer event thingy," I said uncomfortably.

"Ok, how so?"

"Well, my daughter is a girl scout, and she needs to do so many hours of volunteering, so I thought I could have her little troop come in here and do…_something_ with the long term patients."

"You have a daughter?" he asked surprised.

"Uh, yeah," I said awkwardly.

He was quiet for a moment, almost like he was having a hard time digesting the fact that I was a mother, but then he nodded.

"Ok, yeah. We've had children's groups come in before and sing for the recovery floor, or even do art time with some of the elderly. It all depends though, girl scouts are usually what, like five, six years old?"

"Well, yeah they can be. I think they start at five, but my daughter's troop are all seven and eight."

Edward seemed surprised, and maybe uncomfortable.

"You-ah…you had your daughter pretty young then, huh?" he said with faux casualness.

"Oh, yeah. She was born a few days before my eighteenth birthday."

Edward seemed to almost go into a strange trance, but I needed to get back to work, so I tried to snap him out of it.

"Um, so what do you think?" I asked him.

"Huh?" he seemed confused, and he actually started fidgeting and tapping his finger anxiously, which reminded me of the way he was in school.

"About my daughter's girl scout troop coming to volunteer?" I said slowly.

"Oh, right, I'll have to look over the schedule and get back to you on that one." He closed the folder he had been writing in, and stood up and just walked past me, out the door, and down the hall. It was very strange and the fact that he didn't say bye in any way, just made the whole encounter that much weirder. I had thought that he grew out of that kind of oddity, but perhaps I just hadn't spent enough time with him to make that assessment.

Edward said he'd get back to me with an answer but I never heard from him, so the following Thursday, I went back to his office. Like the previous week, I knocked and someone said "come in," but it wasn't Edward.

"Uh, hi. Is Edwa…uh, is Mr. Cullen around?" I asked the woman.

"Oh, no, I'm sorry, he doesn't work here anymore. Is there something I could help you with?" she asked kindly.

I felt a strange twinge in my stomach, and I became very upset that Edward was gone, though I had no idea why I felt that way.

"Uh, I needed to organize a time when my daughter's scout troop can come in to volunteer," I said mechanically.

"Oh, well I can help you with that; I'm a great event planner. I'm Alice Cullen, by the way."

"Um, Bella Swan," I introduced myself. "Culled? Are you Edward's…" I was going to ask 'wife' but then I realized that wasn't likely.

"Sister," she said. "Well adoptive anyway. I just took over here for him because he's busy with his _real job_." She said 'real job' with an almost mocking tone.

"What does he do for a living?" I prodded.

"Oh, he actually does a few things. He's a book editor for the Washington Publishing House, and he also is a song writer, which actually makes him the most money. He sold a song last month that more than paid his year's worth of salary at his editing job."

"Wow…good for him," I said impressed. I knew Edward was a talented musician, but the fact that he was a book editor, which is what I had wanted to be, actually threw me for a loop.

"Oh, I did it again, didn't I?"

"Did what?" I asked confused.

"I don't even know you and I just ran my mouth again. Edward really doesn't like people knowing about the song writing thing. I think it embarrasses him."

"Oh, well, we don't exactly see each other socially and he doesn't work here anymore, so I really don't think you have to worry."

"Ok, good. So, let's figure out the best thing for you to sign up your daughter's troop for."

After deciding on a date and time, I thanked Alice and went back to work. I really liked Alice, but I was so disappointed that Edward was gone that it actually upset me more than I ever expected it to. I spent the next few weeks actually semi-obsessing about my lack of contact with Edward, but finally I just couldn't take it anymore. My feelings for the guy I hardly knew, were confusing and unfounded, so I pushed them away and tried to forget about him.

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	8. Drifting Off

**Innocent Sins**

A/N: Just FYI, there will definitely be Edward POVs, but I want everyone to learn the truth with Bella, and after that, we'll see Edward's life through his eyes.

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~Chapter 8 – Drifting Off~

BPOV

"Hey, are you excited?" I asked Carlie as she got her Girl Scout uniform on.

"Yeah, because I love hospitals."

"Is that a joke?" I asked her unsure.

"No, I want to be a doctor when I grow up," she said with a smile.

"Well, that's a good aspiration to have," I said encouragingly.

"So what are we going to do there anyway? Oh, can we take out people's stitches?" she asked excitedly.

I stared at her slightly disturbed. "You really are meant to be a doctor, aren't you?" I joked, but was mostly serious. "I think you're just going to do art and things with some of the long term patients."

"Ah man," she said, so I laughed and led her out to the car.

We picked up her little friend and headed to the hospital, and the rest of their troop was gathered outside waiting for Alice to meet us, but it wasn't Alice who came.

"Ah, this must be Troop 423. We are so happy to have you here helping out this evening," a doctor said after walking out of the hospital. I worked on the pediatric floor, so I didn't know most of the doctors except for the ones who I worked with directly.

The doctor instructed us to follow him, so we did. He led us to the rehabilitation floor, and brought us to a small waiting room. "Alice got held up, but she should be along shortly. If you need anything at all, my name is Dr. Cullen, and I'd be happy to assist you."

"Thank you," all the girls said together.

I had never met Dr. Cullen before, but I knew that he was the Chief of Staff, which meant that he was essentially, my boss.

"Uh, Dr. Cullen?" I said as I followed him out of the room.

"Yes?"

"Um, I'm Bella Swan, I'm a nurse here."

"Oh, well nice to meet you," he said kindly.

"Yeah, I um, I actually went to high school with Edward," I told him, although I had no idea why. I really didn't know why I was wasting his time by talking to him at all. I felt like I should introduce myself, but it was quickly becoming extremely awkward.

"You went to high school with Edward?" he asked confused.

"Yeah, well briefly. I actually haven't seen him in a while, is there a way I can contact him?"

_What the hell is wrong with me?_

Dr. Cullen scratched his head, confused even more, but he couldn't have been as confused as I was.

"Well, I don't really want to give out his cell number without asking him first, but if you want, you can give me your number and I can pass it on to him."

"Oh, right," I said and I dug a scrap of paper and pen out of my purse, and wrote my cell number on it before giving it to Dr. Cullen.

"Thanks, I really appreciate it," I said feeling like an idiot for giving the COS my phone number.

"Well, it was good to meet you…" he said, forgetting my name.

"Bella…Swan" I reminded him.

"It was good to meet you Miss Swan, I'll be sure Edward gets this."

"Nice meeting you too," I said and he nodded before walking off. "Thanks again," I called after him, which made him turn back to me and smile with a half wave, and then he disappeared around the corner.

_I was such a moron._

I was about to go back in the room, when I noticed Alice standing there smirking at me.

"You have the hots for Edward, huh?" she teased me. I barely knew Alice, we had spoken a few times since first meeting, but she was the kind of person who was everyone's friend and there wasn't any awkward 'getting to know each other' moments; she talked to everyone like she had known them forever.

"No," I said defensively. "We were just friends in school and I wanted to reconnect with him."

"Yeah right. I knew Edward at eighteen, and I highly doubt he was friends with anyone around that time. Talk about reclusive weirdos," she laughed. "So, you must have the hots for him now."

"No, I…."

"Don't be embarrassed, a lot of women think he's attractive. Edward's not the easiest person to get along with and he doesn't really respond well to most of my match making attempts, but…I have a good feeling about you, so here," she said and grabbed my purse. I had no idea what she was doing, but I didn't want to offend her by questioning her either.

She pulled out my cell phone and started pressing button before handing it back to me. "If he asks where you got his number, just tell him that Siobhan gave it to you," she said with a smirk, then went into the room to talk to the scouts.

I really never actually thought about trying to date Edward, in fact, I had no idea what I wanted his phone number for. Maybe I could call him and we could discuss other soap opera theme songs. I mean really, we didn't have anything at all in common, but I had no idea why I couldn't forget about him either.

Alice led the girls to the different rooms, where they pared off and went to do art with some of the older long term patients. Me and a few other moms walked the halls between the rooms, just to keep an eye on the girls. Most seemed to love the girls' interaction with them, but a few of the more grumpier patients were bitter for the intrusion.

"I know how to paint, damn it, leave me the hell alone!" an elderly man said to a couple of the girls as I passed by.

"Now Mr. Vladimir, you know these girls are just trying to help," Alice said to him as she hurried into the room.

"I don't want any god damn help from any snotty nosed five year olds."

"We're not five," Carlie said defensively. Carlie was across the hall in a different room, but she heard the man yelling and of course she came to stick up for her friends; she was just that kind of girl.

"I don't care how old you are, you little twit."

"You shouldn't call people names," Carlie said sternly back to him.

"Carlie," I said and grabbed her arm to pull her back. "Come on girls, let's leave him alone," I said to the other two girls who were still in the room.

"Mom, that guy was a jerk," Carlie said heatedly.

"Carlie!" I scolded her.

"I know, I'm sorry," she said knowing that kind of attitude was unacceptable.

"Ok girls, go see if there is anyone else you can help," I told them.

"Okay momma," Carlie said happily, and then turned to run off, but she banged right into…Edward.

"Sorry," Carlie said to him quickly, then ran around him and into one of the rooms. Edward looked like he was just doused with liquid nitrogen, because he stood there completely frozen.

"Alice gave them all candy," I said quickly, trying to explain her rambunctious behavior. "How are you? I wasn't expecting to see you here anymore," I said to him.

He stared at me for a moment longer, before slowly melting and coming back to life. "Uh, yeah. I didn't know you were here tonight."

"So, what are you doing here?" I asked him casually.

"Uh…I came because Alice texted me saying she needed a ride home. Was that your daughter?" he asked strangely.

"Yeah, sorry about that."

"Hey Edward," Alice said as she walked by.

"Alice, what are you doing?" he asked irritated.

"Oh, you're early."

"No, I'm not. You said I needed to pick you up right away and I had to hurry."

"Oh texting can be so confusing, that's why I hate technology," Alice said and then smirked before walking away.

"So, hey, I'm glad you're here," I said to him uncomfortably. He still seemed upset by what appeared to be a match making attempt by Alice, but he looked at me while I was talking to him anyway. "I gave Dr. Cullen my number to give to you, but I didn't really think you'd call me…." I waited for him to tell me that I was wrong, but he didn't say anything so I continued uneasily. "I was just thinking that we could get together for lunch sometime…." still not response. "Or maybe we could get coffee, or something?" I waited for his answer like an idiot.

"Uh…"

"Mom, guess what," Carlie said excitedly as she came up from behind Edward.

"What?" I asked, but shot Edward an apologetic glance for Carlie's interruption.

"Claire was opening some paint, and it squirted all over her face. It was so funny."

"Oh, is there paint everywhere?" I asked slightly frustrated.

"Yeah, that's why I came to ask you for help."

"Okay," I sighed and looked up at Edward. "I'll be right back," I said, but he had a glazed over look in his eyes and I was about to ask him if he was Ok, but Carlie grabbed my hand and towed me towards the awaiting mess. I helped them clean it as quickly as possible, and only paused briefly to wonder what the hell I was thinking by asking Edward out.

_Did I actually want to date Edward Jameson…Cullen?_ I couldn't deny that there was an almost electric connection between us, but I hadn't been on a date of any kind since before I got pregnant, and I never expected to ever want to again. Dating wasn't for me, and I didn't even _desire_ the company of the opposite sex. I was happily single and I had no plans to change that, so I decided to go back and tell Edward that asking him out was a mistake.

I walked out to where I left him, but he was gone. I looked around a little, but he wasn't anywhere and I realized that he obviously didn't want anything to do with me, so I swore to myself that I wouldn't bother him again. But even though I planned to back out, I still felt humiliated that I actually asked Edward Jameson…Cullen out. I would have been embarrassed if I asked any guy out, but for some reason, Edward got to me and I had an overwhelming desire to want him to like me, and I had completely blown it. He disliked me so much, that he actually left to avoid me.

"Hey, did Edward leave?" I asked Alice as she walked up to me.

"Yeah, he told me to tell you that he was sorry that he had to go. I guess that he was already on his way somewhere when I texted him to pick me up, so he didn't have time to wait."

"Oh, do you need a lift home?" I asked.

"Why yes, that would be great. I was just going to have Carlisle bring me home after his shift was over, but I'd much rather not have to wait so long."

"Ok, well, I think the girls are all cleaning up right now, so we should be able to leave soon."

"Perfect," Alice said, and then skipped off to collect her things.

I went to go check on the girls and found them saying goodbye to the patients they had been working with.

"Hey, you ready to go?" I asked them as they walked towards me.

"Miss Swan?" one of the girls asked me.

"Yes, Claire?"

"Can Carlie come over my house tonight for a sleepover?"

"Yeah momma, can I?" Carlie asked hopefully.

"We didn't bring anything with us," I said to her.

"I brought my PJs and tooth brush in the car…just in case."

"You planned this?" I asked.

"Not planned, just hoped," she said with a smile.

"Well, let's wait and see what your mother says," I said to Claire.

"She already said yes, I asked her before she dropped me off here."

"Ok, well I still have to talk to her myself." We all went down to the entrance of the hospital and waited for all the parents to come. I talked to Claire's mom and we agreed to let the girls have a sleepover, so after the last girl was picked up, I drove Alice home.

"It's that one," she said, pointing at an apartment building. I pulled up to the front so she could get out, but she didn't move. "Why don't you park and come in for a little while."

"Oh, no thanks, I really should be getting home," I told her.

"Oh, come on. Your daughter isn't going to be home all night, and you don't even have work in the morning…I checked."

I couldn't think of a good excuse not to, so I reluctantly pulled into the parking garage.

"How do you live so high?" I asked her as we went up to the fifteenth floor.

"I love being up high, just wait and see the kind of view I have."

Alice was right about her view, it was absolutely amazing; actually, everything about her apartment was amazing. It was spacious with a huge gourmet kitchen, and the furniture looked like it had to be expensive, so I felt bad for sitting on it.

We did the chick thing and popped popcorn and watched a movie. It was actually a nice change hanging out with Alice; Angela was really my only friend, so I had a lot of fun being with someone so different

"Uh, where's the bathroom?" I asked as she was just about to put in the second movie.

"Straight back," she said, pointing to the hall behind her.

It was obvious that it was a higher end apartment, even the bathroom looked fancy and everything was spotless. I thought briefly how I'd really have to scrub every surface of my small messy condo before ever inviting Alice over there.

I washed my hands and then walked down the hall to the living room, but I froze when I heard Alice talking to someone.

"What? I just think that she'd be a good match for you."

"Alice, you have no idea what you're talking about, and you really need to stop meddling in my business all the time."

"You're my brother, and I just want what's best for you."

"It's not up to you to decide what's best for me."

"Ok, I know. But I need you to do me a favor," she said becoming quieter.

"What?"

"I have to run out for a little bit, and I need you to keep her company. I took her in circles when I was telling her how to get here, so I'm pretty sure she has no idea how to leave," Alice said quickly.

"What are you talking about?" he asked annoyed.

"Thanks, you're the best," she said and ran out the door. My heart practically jumped out of my chest when I realized that we had been conned. Alice planned on Edward coming there the whole time and that's why she insisted that I stayed for the second movie.

Edward was quiet for a while, so finally I took a deep breath, and walked into the living room.

He was picking something up off the coffee table, when he looked up at me and jumped. "Oh _shit_," he said startled.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you," I said quietly.

"What the hell are you doing here?" he asked irritated.

"Alice kidnapped me," I stated. Edward took a deep breath and nodded to himself in understanding.

"She's like a pixie from hell," he said, mostly to himself. "Is your daughter here too?" he asked warily.

"No, she's at a sleepover with a friend." He seemed to relax, just a bit. "So, you live here with Alice?" I asked, despite his obvious discontent with my presence.

"No, well not all the time. Alice's fiancé is in the military, and when he's deployed I come stay with her. She hates being alone, she had a…_traumatic _childhood," he explained without really looking at me.

"Oh," I said, not wanting to push the subject further. "Well, I guess I should go then." Even though I knew he wanted me to leave, I still didn't actually move when I offered to go. I really didn't know why I behaved so strangely around Edward. He didn't want anything to do with me, and yet, I found myself still trying to be around him.

"Yeah, that's a good idea," he said, "I'll walk you to your car."

"O-okay."

We walked down the hall and noticed a man standing by the elevator.

"What's going on Stan?" Edward asked him.

"Elevator's got a kink. It should be fixed in a couple hours."

"A couple hours? How the hell are we supposed to get down?" Edward asked irritated.

"There's stairs right over there."

"We're fifteen floors up!" Edward yelled at him in frustration.

"Well, exercise is good for you."

Edward huffed and rolled his eyes before walking back to his apartment. I wasn't sure if he wanted me to follow him or if he expected me to walk down the stairs alone, but I took a chance and just went back to the apartment. He left the door open, so walked right in and saw that he was in the kitchen pouring what looked like scotch in a glass.

"Do you want a drink?" he asked me.

"Uh, no thanks. I don't drink."

"Ever?"

"Nope, I have always had too much to do and could never afford to not have a clear head."

"You can have one drink without getting drunk."

"Oh, well I just haven't had much of a desire for it, I guess."

"Well, we have soda, juice, water…"

I sighed, "I'll just have what you're having."

"I'm having scotch."

"Well, there's a first time for everything. You're right, one drink won't hurt."

"Okay," he said slowly and poured a second glass.

He brought the drinks into the living room where I was sitting, and he handed me one. He drank his slowly, so I followed his lead and took a sip…which I winced at, not expecting the burn.

"Are you ok?" he asked with his crooked smile.

"Yeah, why?" I asked with a thick voice, trying to conceal my discomfort.

He just laughed at me.

"What?" I asked.

"Nothing," he said fighting back his smile. Edward sat in the chair furthest away from where I was sitting, and just quietly drank his scotch.

"Uh, so, Alice said that you're a book editor?" I asked.

"Yeah, well, it pays the bills."

"Right," I said knowing that Alice said he can do more than _pay the bills_ with his song writing alone. But she asked me not to tell him that she told me, so I kept it to myself.

"So, how long have you been living in Seattle?" he asked me unexpectedly.

"Almost two years now."

"What did you do before you worked at the hospital?"

"I was a bartender."

He laughed once, "you were a bartender, but you don't drink at all?"

"You don't have to drink to be a bartender; in fact, most bar owners don't like it when their employees drink."

Suddenly his face fell serious again. "But you don't still do that, right? I mean that kind of thing can actually be pretty dangerous."

"Dangerous? How so?"

"Well, I'd think a lot of shady people can walk into a bar, and maybe get a sick fixation on girls there."

"Are you concerned for my safety?" I joked.

"No…I mean yes, well what I mean is that I'd be concerned for any young girl leaving bars at all hours of the night; it's not about you specifically. I mean, not that I don't care about you specifically, I was just asking out of curiosity…"

"It's Ok," I said to stop his confusing rambling. "I quit that job when I was hired at the hospital."

"Oh good," he said uncomfortably, and he took another drink.

"So, do you have any idea where Alice went?"

"Uh, she may have gone to Rose and Emmett's place."

"Who are Rose and Emmett?"

"They lived with us at the Cullen home, but now they live a few blocks away from here."

"So where do you live when you don't stay here?"

"I have a place on Main. What about you, do you live close by?"

"Uh, no I live on the other side of town in those condos off of Harbor Way."

"Oh, those are nice," he said strangely.

"Yeah, well it was Angela's first and then she broke up with her boyfriend and so Carlie and I moved in with her to help with rent."

"So, your daughter _Carlie_…she's eight?"

"Yeah, I can't believe how fast time has flown by; it feels like she was just a baby."

"Does she uh, you know, get good grades in school and whatnot?"

"Yeah, she's really smart, but she very vocal and sometimes she says things she shouldn't that gets her in trouble. So, I'm in the principal's office quite a bit," I said with a half laugh.

Edward had a blank look in his eye and seemed to be somewhere else completely in his mind, so I decided to change the subject. "So what made you quit the hospital?"

"Huh? Oh, I just didn't have time for it anymore. So what were you and Alice doing before she ran off?"

"We were watching movies. She was just about to start another one when you got here."

"Which one?" he asked and walked over to the blu-ray player to see what Alice had put in. "_Interview with the Vampire_?" he questioned, surprised.

"Yeah, well Alice said she had a thing for vampires."

"Okay," he said and started the movie.

"Can you even see the movie from over there?" I asked because the chair he was sitting in was adjacent to the TV.

"I'm fine."

"You're going to get a kink in your neck, just come sit over here, I'm not going to try to grope you in the dark, I promise." I said, feeling like an absolute moron.

Edward sighed and came to sit on the couch with me, but he squeezed himself as close to the opposite edge as he could possibly get.

The movie came on and as we watched, I could see from the corner of my eye that Edward kept glancing at me. I looked back at him, but he'd turn his head immediately. After a while, I started feeling tired, and I found myself fighting to keep my eyes open, so I figured I should be going, but when I looked at Edward to ask him to give me directions back to the main road, he was sound asleep. I thought about just trying to find it on my own, but I knew I'd just get lost so I decided to just wait until Edward woke up. I doubted that he'd sleep on the couch the whole night, so he'd probably wake up when the movie was over.

But I was just so tired, and I felt myself drifting off.

* * *

***How do you like where the story is heading? Please Review and let me know.***


	9. Hot N Cold

**Innocent Sins**

~Chapter 9 –Hot N Cold~

BPOV

I only shut my eyes for a moment, but when I opened them again, the bright sun was shining and I was laying sprawled out on the couch with my head actually resting on Edward's chest. I looked at him, and even though he was still sleeping, I became absolutely horrified when I saw the round wet spot on his white shirt_. I can't believe I actually drooled on him._

Edward stirred all of a sudden, and his eyes flashed open and locked with mine. He looked…_confused_. He sat up and looked around the room before actually remembering what happened the night before.

"You're still here," he said groggily.

"Sorry, I must have fallen asleep."

"Yeah, me too." He stood, and must have felt the wet spot on his shirt because he looked down at it. "Why is my shirt wet?"

"Oh, I uh…I'm not sure what exactly happened. I woke up, and I was laying on you, and well…."

"You were laying on me?"

"Well, I didn't mean to, I must have done it while I was sleeping."

"And, so my shirt is wet because…?"

I shrugged sheepishly.

"Because you drooled on me?" he guessed with a straight face, but then it broke and he started laughing. "Do you normally drool in your sleep, or did you just do it for my benefit?"

"Well, you are so attractive, and you smell really good," I joked, but then I could feel my face heat up from utter embarrassment.

He stared at me for a moment, but then he smirked. "Well, I might have smelled good before, but now I smell even better," he said while pretending to sniff his shirt.

All my embarrassment went away, and I just started laughing hysterically.

"No really, you should bottle that stuff, you'd make a fortune."

"Right," I said sarcastically.

"Do you want some coffee?" he asked as he walked into the kitchen.

"Uh, sure."

He poured two cups and brought one to me. "When did you make the pot…or did Alice?" I asked then started looking around for any sign that Alice was there somewhere.

"The coffee pot is on a timer and Alice stayed at Rose's last night." He said while looking at his cell phone.

"So, she really did leave on purpose?"

"Yeah, sorry about that. Alice has tried to set me up with different women in the past, but she sunk to a new low this time."

"Gee, thanks," I said offended.

"No, I didn't mean it as a knock against you. Alice has tried to get me to 'randomly' meet people that she's arranged for me to meet, but this whole thing about locking us in this apartment together is just a whole new level of meddling. I bet she knew the elevator thing was happening too, she always knows that kind of stuff, it's like a sixth sense or something."

"Or maybe she just reads," I said with a smile and handed him a flyer that was tucked under some magazines on the end table.

Edward looked at it, and read it quietly out loud. "Attention residents. We will be doing Elevator maintenance from nine pm to approximately eleven thirty." He put the paper back down and looked up at me. "See what I meant by calling her a pixie from hell?"

"I think it was actually kind of sweet….conniving, but sweet."

"Sweet? How can you misconstrue this as sweet?"

"Well, I mean, she obviously cares about you, and just wants you to be happy."

"And what makes you think that I'm unhappy on my own?"

"All I'm saying is that it's not about _what_ she did, it's _why_ she did it."

"Hello lovebirds," Alice said as she came in through the door. She walked right over to me and kissed me on the cheek. "I get to plan the wedding, trust me, I'm the best."

"Alice, that was low, even for you," Edward said bitterly.

"Oh," she went over to him and pinched his cheeks. "You can thank me later. Oh I know, maybe you can name your first baby together 'Alice'. Yep, I think that will show your gratitude enough."

"Alice," I started to say, but she wasn't done with her little love rant.

"Maybe the little princess is already on the way," she rubbed my stomach, but then looked back at Edward, "did you put a cap on it?"

"What?" he asked appalled.

"Oh come on Edward, it only takes one time for a girl to get pregnant. Huh, little Alice," she said while rubbing my stomach again.

"Alice, Edward and I didn't have sex last night." I said lightly, knowing she was just joking as well.

"So you didn't have sex _last night_, but you had sex before?" she asked with a hopeful smile.

"No Alice, I have never had sex with Edward." I glanced at him and he was glaring at Alice, completely fuming silently. "O-K, I'm going to go. Thanks for the movie and popcorn and I'll see you at the hospital," I said to Alice. I looked at Edward to say bye, but he refused to look at me, so I just grabbed my purse and left.

When I got in the car, I realized that I still had no idea how to get home, so I drove around in a circle a few times before I finally found my way to a main road. I wanted to get my mind off of Edward's strange mood swings, so I turned on the radio and then Katy Perry's 'Hot N Cold' song came on, which only made me think of Edward even more. One minute he was smiling and even laughing, _and he had the most incredible smile_, and the next minute he was upset at something, though I had no idea what."

Alice was being pushy and meddling, but the little time that I've known her, I had already come to expect that sort of thing from her. Edward should know better than to take her seriously, and the idea of us being a couple wasn't too horrible…._was it_?

…..

Of course I didn't hear from Edward after our impromptu sleepover, even though I humiliated myself again by actually calling him and leaving a message on his voice mail. And even though I told myself that I was acting like an annoying stalker chick by still bothering him, it was like I was compelled by some unknown force to try to keep in contact with him.

A month past and I was busy making dinner one night, when I got an unexpected visitor at the door.

"Jacob, hey," I said surprised as I invited him in.

"Hey Bells, long time no see."

"Yeah, so what brings you here?"

"Well, I just moved to town so I just thought I'd stop by and say hello."

"You just moved here?" I asked surprised.

"Yeah well I got a job on the police force here, so here I am."

"Oh, good for you. But I thought you were a cop in La Push?"

"Well, I was, but a position opened up here and the pay is worlds better."

"Jakey!" Carlie yelled happily as she came skipping down from her loft.

"Hey, Shorty," he said, and swung her around.

"So, I was thinking that since we never made it to that game that you said you'd go with me to, way back when, I thought we could go this Saturday."

"Oh yeah, can we momma?"

"Uh…"

"Please?" Carlie asked giving me her puppy stare, which Jacob matched, though his was less puppy and more dog.

"Ok, count us in."

"Yes," they both said excitedly and gave each other a high five.

At work the next day, I was eating lunch in the cafeteria, which I had routinely started to do, when Alice came dancing up to me.

"Hey Bella."

"Hi Alice," I said suspiciously. We had talked many times since she conned me, but I was always slightly wary every time she approached me so excitedly.

"Guess what."

"What?"

"Jasper is coming home this weekend."

"Oh, that's great Alice, I'm really happy for you."

"So, what are you doing this Saturday?" she asked. _Here we go._

"Why?" I asked warily.

"Well, if you don't have plans, I was hoping you'd come meet Jasper."

"Oh, I wish I could. I promised my friend that Carlie and I would go to the big Mariners game. How about Sunday?"

"Sunday could work. Do you already have tickets for the game?"

"No, I think we're just going to buy them at the gate."

"At the gate? You'll never get good seats that way. Look, my family has season tickets, why don't you just take our seats."

"Oh, we couldn't do that."

"Yes you can, we give them away all the time. Besides, none of us are going, so if you don't take them, they'll just go unused."

"Are you sure?"

"Of course. Now, how many do you need?"

"Three would be great. Thank you so much." I said sincerely.

…..

"I can't believe you scored lower level seats, behind home base," Jake said excitedly.

"Oh, a friend of mine has season tickets," I explained as Carlie bounced along between us.

"I have never been this close to the field before. This is the best day of my life." Jake said in awe.

We sat in the uncomfortable seats with Carlie between us, and right before the game started, we got some company.

"Hi, excuse me, but those are our seats," A woman said smugly.

"Uh, no, I don't think so," I said politely and pulled out our tickets to re-read the number. "See? A14"

"Oh," she said annoyed, and then turned behind her. "Eddie, why didn't we get those seats? That's always where we sit."

I looked behind the annoyingly gorgeous woman, and saw Edward standing there looking extremely irritated.

"Uh, I guess Alice gave her those seats," he said to the woman. "Hey Bella."

"Hi Edward, how are you?" I asked feeling like there was a lump in my throat.

"Mommy when is it going to start?" Carlie complained.

"Oh, you brought your daughter," Edward said uncomfortably after just seeing Carlie sitting next to me.

"Yeah, uh Carlie, this is my friend Edward," I introduced her.

"Hi, do you like baseball too?" she asked him happily.

"Uh, yeah; its fun to watch, but it's even more fun to play," Edward said to her sweetly.

"I'm Jacob, hi." Jacob said suddenly, reaching across me and Carlie to extend his hand to Edward.

Edward looked at me briefly, and then shook his hand. "Edward," he told Jake coldly.

"And is this your beautiful girlfriend?" Jake asked him, referring to the woman.

"Uh, she's a girl and a friend. This is Tanya, Tanya this is Bella, her daughter Carlie, and friend Jason."

"It's Jacob," Jake corrected him.

"Right, sorry," Edward said nonchalantly.

"And I'm Bella's boyfriend," Jacob said mockingly, which completely horrified me. "As in I'm a boy, and a friend." He started laughing at his own stupid joke, but I just stared at him annoyed and Edward's expression seemed to me mirroring my own.

"Are you a supermodel?" Carlie asked Tanya.

"Uh, no. But I do write for a fashion magazine."

"Oh, well you're pretty, but you are really skinny."

"Carlie!" I yelled at her. I lifted my eyes to Tanya and she looked pissed, but Edward next to her looked completely amused.

"Sorry, was that not nice?" Carlie asked me.

"No, that wasn't. You need to apologize."

"I just said sorry."

"Well, I'm going to make myself _less _skinny and get a diet coke. Edward?" Tanya said bitterly

"What?" he asked clueless.

"I'd like a diet coke."

"Ok, so go get one."

"I'll get you one, I'm going to go get some nachos anyway." I offered.

"Eww, you can't be serious; nachos?" Tanya said disgusted.

"What's wrong with nachos?" I asked.

"It's not even real cheese on those things."

"Oh, well we like them, right Carlie?"

"Right. Momma, can I get a hotdog too?"

"Sure."

"You can't be serious? Hotdogs are death on a bun," Tanya said. "I can't believe you feed your kid that; what kind of mother are you?"

I wanted to knock her lights out, but when I looked at Edward, he had a sickened expression on his face which made me keep my mouth shut. I didn't care what his bitch of a friend thought, but for some reason, I still just wanted Edward to not hate me so much.

"She's the best mom ever," Carlie said proudly, in my defense. "Come on momma," she grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the aisle.

"Do you want anything?" I asked Jake, who was completely engrossed in the game.

"No thanks," he said mechanically.

"Hold up, I'll go with you," Edward said unexpectedly.

"Okay," I said confused.

The three of us went up to the concession stand, and Carlie seemed very interested in Edward, and began asking him a ton of questions.

"You're tall," she said to him.

"Uh, thanks," he said awkwardly.

"Why is your hair all messy like that, don't you have a brush?"

He laughed. "Yeah, but I really don't know how to use it very well."

"Is your face prickly?"

"Prickly?"

"Yeah, my grandpa's face is always prickly when he doesn't shave for a few days. When was the last time you shaved?"

"Uh, a few days ago."

"You don't like to shave every day?"

"No, I think I'm just lazy sometimes."

"Can I feel it?"

"Feel what?"

"Your face." I guess I should have stopped Carlie there, but for some reason, I was absolutely loving the interaction between them and I really just wanted to see how he'd respond.

"Uh…" Edward looked at me, but I pretended to not be paying attention as we waited in line for the snacks. "I guess," he said and bent over so she could touch his jaw.

"Ooo, it's soft." She said surprised.

"It's usually only prickly the first day I don't shave."

"Are you going to grow it out to a full beard?"

"No, I think I'll keep it short."

It was our turn to order what we wanted, and after I told them, Edward cut in front of me and ordered another hotdog and nachos, and then paid for all of it.

"You don't have to buy ours," I said to him.

"Oh, it's just easier to buy it all together," he said casually.

"I thought you didn't like hotdogs?" I asked as he started dumping a bunch of condiments on his.

"Why did you think that?"

"Well, when Tanya was complaining about them, you looked like you agreed."

"Nah, Tanya is just rude. I really can't stand her most of the time."

"So, why are you friends with her if you don't like her?"

"Well, she asked me to come, and Alice said that if I didn't go, then she'd stage a meeting with _you_ again," he said with a chuckle.

"Oh, so she tricked you into meeting me here by threatening you with forcing you to meet me somewhere else?"

"She's very sneaky," he said.

We started walking back, but his comment really started bothering me.

"Why are you willing to suffer through time with that…_woman_, just to avoid me?"

"We just shouldn't be friends, Bella," he said strangely, which gave me an eerie déjà vu and I couldn't figure out why.

"Ok, why, are you really a monster or something?" I joked.

He looked at me intensely and the depth of the emotions in his eyes actually freaked the hell out of me.

"What, what's wrong?" I asked him concerned, because he looked very upset.

"Nothing, we should probably just get back," he said quietly.

"Ok, Carlie don't go any further ahead!" I yelled because she had wandered way too far from us.

The crowd erupted in applause, so I looked towards the field reflexively for only a moment, but that's as long as it took.

"Carlie, where are you?" I called her.

"Where did she go?" Edward asked confused. He must have looked towards the crowd as well.

We looked for her and when we didn't find her right away, I started getting really worried, but Edward was downright panicking. He started running around through all the people, and calling her name. His alarm just made me more afraid, so I started panicking too.

"Momma, I'm right here!" I finally heard her calling to me. She had climbed up in the back of the stands to get a better look at what the crowd was cheering for.

"Carlie, you nearly gave me a heart attack," I said as I hugged her tightly. I looked at Edward as I held her, and he still looked worried, but relieved at the same time as the color started returning to his paled face.

"Sorry momma," she said, so I grabbed her hand and we walked back to our seats.

Edward was mostly quiet for the rest of the game, but he didn't seem to be watching it. He had that glazed over look in his eye, and more than ever I wished I knew what he was thinking.

When the game finally ended, we all got up to leave and said goodbye.

"Well, it was…_nice_ to meet you," I forced myself to say to Tanya.

"Humm," she said rudely and just started walking away.

"Bye, nice _not_ talking to you," Jacob said to Edward and Tanya.

Edward nodded his head to Jacob coldly, and then sort of mumbled a bye to Carlie and me.

"Hey Edward," Carlie said after he turned away, so he turned back to us again.

"Yes?"He asked in his best attempt to be nice, even though it was obvious that he was upset…again.

"Momma and I are going to the zoo next week, will you come with us?"

"Oh Carlie, Edward's very busy," I said quickly.

"Please?" she asked and unleashed the full intensity of her eyes on him, which were next to impossible to say no to.

"Uh…" he looked at me for a moment, and then looked back at her. "Sure," he said surprisingly.

"Ok," she said excitedly, and then without warning, she stepped around me and wrapped her arms around Edward to hug him goodbye. "See you next week."

Edward looked just as shocked as I was from the hug, and although he didn't really hug her back, he sort of did an awkward pat on her back before pulling away from her.

Carlie was a very friendly and outgoing girl, but she didn't usually hug people she just met, especially men. I worried that I had instilled my own personal fear of unknown males onto her, but she seemed perfectly at ease with Edward.

When we got to the parking lot, we said goodbye to Jake and headed home.

"So what was that about?" I asked Carlie as I drove.

"What was what about?" she asked confused.

"Why did you ask Edward to the zoo with us?"

"I like him, I think he's cute."

"What?" I asked laughing.

"Don't you think he's cute too?"

"Uh, honey I think you are far too young to be looking at guys like that, especially ones that are adults."

"Oh momma, I already have a boyfriend."

"What?" I asked incredulously.

"Nahuel is in the fourth grade, and he is totally dreamy."

"What kind of name is Nahuel?" I asked.

"He just moved to the country from Brazil."

"Carlie, do you even know where Brazil is?"

"No, but he said it's hot there."

"Ok, you're too young to have a boyfriend, so just stop."

"Mom," she complained. "He just holds my hand sometimes, it's not like we kiss."

I just rolled my eyes, and promised myself to call her teacher later.

"Maybe you should ask Jacob to be your boyfriend…no wait, ask Edward, he really likes you."

"Why do you think that?" I asked wondering how she came up with such an erroneous conclusion.

"Because he kept staring at you when you weren't looking. He was looking at you the same way that the Beast looked at Belle when she thought he was mean and scary, but he wasn't, he was just sad because he loved her and didn't think she would ever love him back."

"Uh, I think you just misunderstood him, honey," I said quietly, feeling a ton of emotions but not knowing what any of them were.

"I don't think so momma. Just wait and see; I bet he'll even kiss you at the zoo. But if he doesn't kiss you, then you should kiss him because he'll probably just be too scared to do it."

I couldn't believe the things Carlie was saying; she was just as crazy and meddling as Alice. But as much as I didn't believe it, I wished it were true. Every time I saw Edward, which wasn't very often, I developed stronger and stronger feelings for him. I didn't understand anything he did, but even when he seemed like he was pushing me away, his eyes always looked at me like they were begging me to stay. I knew that it was probably in my head, but I couldn't let him go.

* * *

***Big changes coming next. Please Review***


	10. Normal

**Innocent Sins**

~Chapter 10 – _Normal_~

BPOV

Jacob had called me a few times during the week, but thankfully, I always had something to do and couldn't meet with him. I told him that I wasn't interested in a relationship, but he used the 'just friends' tactic, even though I knew he wanted more. The idea of having a boyfriend seemed so foreign and undesirable to me, though at that point, I knew I'd make an exception for the _right_ person. I'd even take his strange mood swings because being with him just felt right.

The weekend came, and I figured that Edward was going to back out of going to the zoo with us, because he never returned all my texts over the week, but on Saturday I finally got a text from him asking my address so he could meet us.

I was still getting ready when I heard the doorbell, but I also heard Carlie racing down the stairs to answer it.

"Hi Edward," I heard her say enthusiastically.

"Hey, how are you?" he greeted her.

I tied my hair in a quick ponytail, and hurried out of my room.

"Hey," I said to Edward, trying to be casual despite the way my heart jumped when my eyes met his.

"Hi, am I too early?" he asked.

"No, not at all. Let me get just get my purse and we can leave."

We got to the zoo, and Edward paid for our admission. I argued about it, but he wouldn't listen, in fact, he insisted on paying for everything; the snacks, souvenirs for Carlie, he even bought the wafers to feed the giraffes.

"I should make sure you come with us everywhere, you can be my sugar-daddy," I joked.

"I'm surprised you haven't already found yourself one of those," Edward joked back.

"Oh, well I've had offers, but you have something that none of the others had."

"And what's that?"

"Hair." We both laughed.

"Edward, can I have a piggyback ride?" Carlie asked as we walked towards the lion exhibit.

"Carlie, Edward doesn't want to…"

"Please Edward, my feet hurt?"

"You really don't have to," I told him, but he just smiled crookedly at me.

"No problem, jump on," he said as he kneeled down. Carlie climbed on Edward's back and he carried her like she was a spoiled princess through the zoo.

Edward was completely different when he was around Carlie. He was sweet and attentive and seemed to want to give her anything she asked for. But he wasn't just that way with her; he acted like that to me as well. There were no strange mood swings, and he wasn't odd whatsoever; he just acted like a _normal_ everyday guy who seemed to be genuinely enjoying his time with us.

And we laughed, a lot.

I didn't even think Edward was capable of laughing as much as he did with Carlie, and when we had already seen everything there was to see at the smallish zoo, he suggested that we look at everything again, as if he really wasn't ready to end our time together.

"You really don't have to keep carrying her like that," I told him because Carlie was still riding on his back.

"It's not like she's heavy," he said as Carlie smiled and played with his hair.

When we got to the end of the zoo for the second time, we figured it was time to get going.

"Edward, do you want to come over for dinner?" Carlie asked him.

"Sure, are you cooking?" he asked her surprisingly. He had been doing anything she asked him to do, so I figured he'd accept her invitation, but I thought that he'd hesitate a little.

"Yeah, I'm a great cook. I make peanut butter and jelly, cereal, pop-tarts, pizza crackers; pretty much anything you would want."

"Wow, sounds great."

We went back to our apartment, and even though Carlie offered to 'cook', I decided to take over and make dinner myself. Carlie was showing Edward her room, and from the sound of it, she was making him play dolls with her, which was hilarious. They came back down after a while, and played a few rounds of go fish before I finished dinner.

"So, where's Angela? I thought she lived here too," Edward asked me as he was handing Carlie plates to set the table.

"Oh, she does…technically. She works long hours as a journalist, but lately she's been staying at her boyfriend's house. I actually feel really bad about being here, it was only supposed to be temporary and now that she's back together with Ben, I'm sure they'd like their condo back."

"So are you going to move?"

"Well, I've been looking, but I really wanted something closer to the hospital and I didn't want Carlie to have to change schools. It's just hard to find something in the right location for my budget."

"What about the apartments on Main?"

I laughed once humorously. "I can't afford those places on a nurse's salary."

"I can talk to Carlisle about giving you a raise."

"Yeah, and maybe you can ask him to give me a million dollar Christmas bonus as well." I said sarcastically. "No, I make what all nurses make, and that's fine, I just need to find a place that I can afford."

"Well, why don't you and Carlie just move into my place?"

"Your place, right." I said with a giggle, assuming he was kidding. "Maybe we can share cars too. In fact, why don't we just get married?"

"No, look, I'm hardly ever there; I stay with Alice most of the time or I go to the Cullen compound, so it's always empty."

"I can't afford the rent at a place like that, and I can't let you pay for it."

"It's already paid off," he said quickly.

"Well, then you should sell it or rent it out, or something. I don't want to take advantage of you like that."

"You're not taking advantage of me, the place is empty and I have no intentions on selling it. Why don't you just come look at it tomorrow, and see what you think?"

"Edward," I said while shaking my head.

"What kind of sugar daddy would I be if I didn't make sure that you had a nice place to stay?" he said with a straight face, but then we both started laughing. Though I had no intentions to actually move there, I agreed to go see his place, so after dinner he gave me directions and we planned to meet the next day.

We had spent the whole day together, and yet the moment he left, I already missed him. It was like he was the missing piece and just fit with Carlie and me, and without him we weren't complete.

…..

The next day Carlie and I were both excited to go to Edward's place, but it was simply because we wanted to see him again. We went in the building, which had a doorman, and walked right to the elevator.

"Um, excuse me, Miss?" A man wearing a uniform said, stopping us from going any further.

"Yes?"

"This is a private residence, we don't allow any soliciting."

"Oh, we're here to see Edward Jam-Cullen," I said, still having a hard time remembering that his last name had changed.

"Oh, Miss Swan?"

"Yes."

"Right, I'm sorry, he _is_ expecting you. Go on up."

We went up to the top floor, and knocked on the only door there.

"Hey, you made it," Edward said as he invited us in.

I thought that Alice's place was fancy, but it was nowhere near as beautiful as Edward's mostly abandoned condo. It was not only the most extravagant residential place I had ever seen, it was also the building's penthouse. Even if I was willing to accept his offer to let us live there, I could never picture Carlie and me in a place like that.

"Wow, this is…big," I said as I looked around. Carlie hugged Edward and then ran off to discover the condo for herself.

"Yeah, I know, it's a bit much. That's actually why I'm never here," he agreed.

"Why do you still have it if you don't like staying here?"

"Well, I sort of like the idea of the doorman downstairs. They don't let people come here unless they are informed by the residence beforehand."

"So, you don't like unexpected visitors?" I said teasingly.

"No," he said seriously. "I don't like the idea of just anyone being able to walk up to my door at anytime; you never know what kind of insane people are out there. Which is why I think this place would be perfect for you and Carlie, it's as safe as you can possibly get in this city."

As crazy as it sounded, I actually understood completely what he was saying. Especially with what happened to me as a teenager, I could definitely see the benefit to the extra security that the condo had to offer.

He showed me around a little more, and almost seemed eager for me to agree to live there.

"So, what do you think?"

"It's beautiful and I really appreciate the offer, but I just think it's far too fancy for Carlie and me. Carlie is eight, she paints, and makes messes everywhere; it just wouldn't work."

"Look, you don't have to worry about any of that. Don't think of it as my place that you're borrowing, I'll even put it in your name if that would make it easier on you. Once we get the glass table and white couches out, it won't feel so stiff anymore. It's three bedrooms, which means that Carlie can have a real room of her own, and you can even have a guest room for when your dad visits."

"Would you visit?" I asked without thinking.

"I'm not going to be here bothering you, this will be your place and I won't be dropping by at random times."

"But what if I want you to?" I said like a desperate idiot.

He just stared at me for a minute uncomfortably, but then Carlie ran back to us excitedly. "Mom, I already picked out my room, and it's huge."

"Carlie, I haven't decided anything yet?" I looked at Edward again, and he was smirking smugly because he knew that it was my best option, and despite my reluctance, I was going to accept his offer.

…

Carlie and I spent the next few weeks adjusting to living in such a posh lifestyle, though Edward was right, having the extra security made a world of difference. I didn't realize how much fear I still carried on a daily basis, until some of it was alleviated by living with a full time guard in the lobby. Before we even had a chance to move anything in, Edward had changed out the glass table with a sturdy cherry oak one, and the white couches were replaced with a darker neutral tan. He must have known that Carlie and I didn't actually have any furniture, because every room was completely finished, even Carlie's room was all decked out perfectly like any eight year old girl would want. An equal blend of girly frill, mixed with soccer and even some baseball memorabilia, but still left enough room for Carlie to bring all her own stuff in. He must have taken notes when he was in her room before at Angela's. My and the guest rooms were both finished as well, both elegant but comfortable at the same time.

Since moving away from Angela, she made a point to still see us as much as possible. She still hadn't seen Edward again since high school, and although she thought it was odd that he was letting us live in his condo for free, she encouraged me to just be grateful and accept it. Charlie however, was a different story.

"So, he just gave you this place, no strings attached?" Charlie asked skeptically when he came for a visit.

"Yes dad, I'm not his hooker or anything," I said knowing exactly where his mind was going.

"I just don't get it. Didn't you say that Jameson was weird?"

"Well, he was…_unconventional _when I knew him in school, but he's really a great guy. He just doesn't ever use this place and he knew I needed to move."

"Do you have feelings for this guy?"

"Dad," I said embarrassed.

"Ok, sorry, I'll mind my own business."

"Thank you," I said. "Besides, I thought you wanted me to find a nice guy."

"I do, but this whole thing is just….well, I really hope it works out for you. I just can't stand the idea of you ever being hurt again."

"And that's the main reason why I agreed to this. As much as I try to forget about it, I still worry sometimes that someone is out there watching me. This place makes me feel safe, and that's not an easy thing to do."

"Okay kiddo. But if this guy has any ulterior motives for this _random _act of kindness, I'll kill him."

"Well, I'll be sure to warn him that, the next time I see him."

My dad stayed in our _guest room_ overnight, and left the next morning. We had been in the huge condo for almost three weeks, and had yet to see Edward again, which made me miss him even more. Carlie missed him as well, and kept asking when he was going to visit again, but I didn't have an answer because like before, he wouldn't return any of my texts.

It wasn't until I actually needed Edward again, did he finally come back around. My usual sitter was sick and she couldn't pick up Carlie from school one day. I tried to get off of work, but we were swamped and needed everyone there. Angela couldn't get off work either, and so I decided to call Alice. I wasn't exactly sure what Alice did outside of volunteering at the hospital, but apparently she was busy as well but she told me not to worry because she knew Edward was available. Since Edward never responded to my calls and texts, Alice called him and then called me back saying he'd pick her up right away. Edward didn't keep a key to the condo, but I made sure Carlie had one in her backpack for emergencies, so the two of them went there afterwards.

When I finally got home that night, the condo was dark, but there was a low hum from the television in the living room. I walked quietly towards the sound and saw Edward watching whatever was playing, and Carlie was asleep across his lap.

"Hey," I said quietly. "Thanks so much for this."

"Oh, no problem," he said softly, and gently picked Carlie up and carried her to bed.

"So, did she behave herself?" I asked as we walked back into the living room.

"Yeah, she was great. We did her homework and then watched some Disney movies. You know, all those movies are really scary. There's always kidnapping and imprisonment and the villains always try to actually kill the protagonist. It's really disturbing; I can't believe they make kid's movies like that."

"Well, kids these days don't seem to be afraid of that sort of thing. I know I wasn't when I was her age."

"If only that horror could stay in the movies," Edward said somberly.

"If only," I agreed.

Edward grabbed his coat and went for the door.

"Hey, thanks again. You really saved me tonight."

"I appreciate you trusting me enough. I really love spending time with Carlie, she's an amazing kid, you've done a remarkable job raising her."

"I've really missed you…_we've_ really missed you," I said, not wanting him to think that I was the only one who wanted him around, though I was sure Carlie mentioned it several times during the evening they spent together.

"Yeah, I've been busy lately."

"Well, I'm glad you weren't busy today."

"Me too. Well, I'll see you," he said and opened the door.

"Will you?" I asked desperately. "See me, I mean. It feels like it's been a long time since we saw each other last, and I was just really hoping we could get together again."

"Look, it's not that I don't want to spend time with you, cause I do, but I just don't think it's the best idea."

I didn't even think, I just acted; I stepped into him and planted my mouth to his. I didn't even realize what I had done until I was already doing it, but I couldn't pull myself away. I hadn't kissed anyone like that since I was sixteen, but I couldn't think straight in order to be self conscious about it either. His lips felt so amazing against mine, and tasted even better. He moved his mouth with mine, and I could feel his hands grip the back of my shirt tightly, as if he was trying to find the will to pull himself off me.

Somehow we ended up on the couch where I was laying on my back and he was on top of me. Our tongues met for the first time, and they realized that they were very fond of each other, so they danced together passionately between us. The kiss became more frenzied, and he responded by lifting my leg and hitching it over his hip. I had never been so aroused in all my life as I felt him pushed up against me, and I wanted nothing more than to remove the clothes that acted as barriers between us.

I started unbuttoning his shirt as he pushed himself even closer to me, sending a wave of electricity all over my body. When his shirt was all the way open, I caressed my hand down his perfect chest to his abdomen and started undoing his pants….

But Edward pulled away.

"I can't…_we _can't do this," he said breathlessly before re-buttoning his shirt.

"Edward, I want to be with you," I told him desperately. "I never wanted to be with anyone like this before, and I don't know how to turn that off."

"You don't know what you're talking about. You don't even know who I _really_ am," he said quietly, which confused me.

"Then tell me, tell me who you really are, but I know in my heart that it won't matter. Nothing you say can change what I'm feeling."

"Don't you think that I wish I could be who you _need_ me to be, but I can't. I'm not this nice, good guy, I can't change who I am, or the things that I have just_ let _happen."

I didn't really know what he was talking about, but I didn't care either. I just wanted to be with him, and if he felt the same way, then that was all that mattered.

"Do you want to be with me at all?" I asked.

He looked deep in my eyes, and though it was obvious that he didn't want to admit it, he said, "yes. I want to be with you more than anything, but I just can't."

And then he got up and left. I was so confused and didn't know what to think or how to feel. Although he rejected me, I believed it when he said it wasn't because he _didn't _want me, because I could feel that he did, but that almost made it worse in a way. _What could be so wrong that he wasn't willing to give us a chance?_

I was tired, but I knew I'd never be able to sleep, so I picked up what little mess was in the kitchen, and tried to get my mind off of what happened, but I couldn't. I never actually had sex before, nor did I ever want to, but everything was different with Edward. He made me feel strong and…_normal_. I wanted to have a real, normal relationship with him, and I wanted to experience what it was like to have him _inside _of me. The way his mouth felt against mine, was pure magic, and if he really wanted to be with me too, then I just had to figure out what was holding him back so I could assure him that it wasn't a problem.

I was about to go to bed and just obsess about my non-relationship with Edward, when there was a quiet knock at the door. I was nervous about opening it at first, but then I remembered that I was in a secured building and random people couldn't get past the guard.

I opened the door slowly, and I was surprised to see Edward standing there.

"I really don't know what the hell I'm doing anymore," he said slowly.

"Come here," I said softly, and pulled him inside and shut the door behind him. We locked our lips together and stumbled our way to my bedroom. His kisses trailed to my neck and down my shoulder, before he pulled back and lifted my shirt over my head. We continued undressing each other until we were in nothing but our underwear. Every touch was delicate, and every movement lingered tenderly as if he knew exactly how sensitive I was.

"I don't want to hurt you," he whispered.

"Then don't leave me," I whispered back.

"I don't ever want to leave you," he said before laying me back, removing my panties, and positioning himself over me. He guided my legs open and moved between them. He wrapped me securely in his arms and I held on to him as if my life depended on his embrace, and ever _so gently_, he pushed into me. He didn't move again for a moment, he just stayed inside of me and looked deep into my eyes searchingly. I wasn't sure what he was looking for there, but I did my best to convey my continued desire for him by kissing him passionately, and he responded by beginning to thrust.

I ran my hands up his back and knotted them in his hair, as his kisses on my bare collar sent charges down my spine. He kissed me again on the lips, and then on the tip of my nose before resting his forehead against mine.

"Are you okay?" he murmured, but kept his steady thrusting pace.

I forgot how to speak, so I nodded lightly before his lips found their way back to mine. His speed started picking up, and my body tightened blissfully around him before the electric charges exploded until a warm wave of pulsating numbness took over every inch of my body.

He let a slight moan escape his perfect mouth, and I could feel his body tighten over me, and another burst of warmth imploded inside of me.

His body stilled, but his lips still weren't finished yet. We kissed a while longer before he finally pulled out and laid next to me. I rolled over so I could kiss his chest before resting my head there, and I fell asleep to the tranquil drumming of his heart, right below my ear.

…

I awoke the next morning to the sweet scent of Edward's skin, and smiled to myself as I felt our legs still intertwined. In fact, neither of us had moved at all during the night, and I wondered how I ever managed to sleep without him.

I thought about getting up and making breakfast, but the idea of peeling myself away from him in that moment was actually unfathomable. It was still early, and I knew Carlie would sleep for another hour at least, so I laid awake across his chest, perfectly content.

Edward started stirring a little while later, and when his eyes finally opened, he smiled at me.

"Good morning," he said with a raspy voice.

"You know, this is the second time that we've woken up together, and I have to say, I really like it." I turned my head to look at him better, and rested my chin right bellow his collar bone.

"Well, maybe we'll just have to make a habit out of it," he said with my favorite crooked smile.

"Technically, this is _your_ condo, and who am I to stop you from sleeping here from time to time…or all of the time," I said in a joking manner, but was completely serious.

"It's only a matter of time until you discover the truth," he said cryptically.

"And what truth is that?"

"That I'm a horrible slob," he said with a smile. "And I tend to leave the toilet seat up."

"I highly doubt the slob part. I've seen Alice's place, and there wasn't a speck of dirt anywhere. As far as the toilet seat thing goes, well you'll just have to change that." I kissed him before forcing myself to get up and get dressed.

"You know, I hate when you leave, but I love watching you go," he said as I pulled my panties over my hips.

"Oh, that's original. How many times have you used that line in the past?"

He laughed. "None, but I heard it in a movie once, and I always hoped I find the right time to use it."

I bit my bottom lip playfully. "Stick around, and I'll let you use any cheesy line you want on me."

"I may have to take you up on that offer."

"I hope you do."

We both got dressed and went into the kitchen to make coffee and breakfast.

"What _are _you doing?" he asked me as I put the coffee in the machine and started pushing buttons.

"What?" I asked confused.

"It's an automatic coffee maker," he said and walked over to help me with the settings. "See?"

"Oh…whoops," I smiled sheepishly, but he just smiled back and kissed me again. The kiss started sweet, but then it erupted into another fit of passion as we tried to devour each other's lips.

"Did you guys kiss like that all night?" Carlie asked, completely grossed out. We pulled away from each other immediately, and though I was slightly embarrassed that she had seen us, it didn't seem to bother her at all. "What's for breakfast?" she asked casually.

"I can make the best omelets," Edward told her.

"I don't know, momma makes really good ones," Carlie disagreed.

"Well, you only think that because you've never had mine," he said with a wink.

"Ok, well I'm willing to give yours a try, but I can't promise that they'll be better than mom's."

"Ok," he said with a light laugh.

I was worried about there being some strange awkwardness between us after being completely intimate in that way, but there never was. Edward just fit with us like I knew he would, and Carlie absolutely adored him…and his omelets.

He didn't officially move back into the condo with us, but he never really left either. We spent every day together, and every night making love. When Carlie wasn't at school and we weren't at work, the three of us were together.

Edward was absolutely amazing; there was no trace left of that odd guy with the drastic mood swings, and we were all happy all the time, just like a _normal_ family. I've always considered myself lucky, because with everything that had gone wrong in my life, something beautiful had come out of it. The worst thing that ever happened to me was getting raped at seventeen, but out of that horror, I got my amazing daughter who I wouldn't trade for anything.

But just as my life had become absolutely perfect, I had a horrible feeling that my luck was about to run out.

* * *

***dun Dun DUN…Bella learns the truth in the next chapter. I know the romance seemed a bit rushed, but they had felt strong feelings for each other for a while, and I'm tired of dragging it out. Drama and darkness ahead, stay tuned….Please Review***


	11. Obvious

**Innocent Sins**

**A/N: **Ok, here's the big reveal. Some will be angry, and some have already guessed. But just remember that no matter your opinion on the subject, there is still so much left to discover.

* * *

~Chapter 11 –Obvious~

BPOV

"Nurse Swan, Dr. Cullen asked you to go down to the ER," Siobhan said and I was making my usual rounds in the pediatric unit.

"Oh, Ok," I said casually. Things were pretty slow, so I'd often get moved to the ER when they had a shortage of nurses there.

I took the elevator down to the ER and asked the head nurse for instructions as to where I was needed.

"Oh, I didn't send for you, but Dr. Cullen is in his office."

"Ok, thanks," I said before heading to Chief of Staff's office.

I knocked lightly, and the door opened for me right away. Though the office was big, it seemed tiny because it was cramped full of people, all of which were Cullens.

"Ok, Bella is here, so now we can finally make a decision," Emmett said eagerly.

"What's going on?" I asked. I saw Edward sitting in one of the chairs on the opposite side of the room, so I squeezed past everyone so I could sit on his lap and he wrapped his arms around me. I really didn't care what was going on, because nothing could go wrong when Edward was holding me. He kissed me on my head while Rose explained.

"We're trying to pick where we want to go to vacation this year, but no one can agree. I think that since we have Carlie, we should go somewhere kid friendly."

Rose was Edward's step sister of sorts, and in the five months since we had been together, Rose and Carlie had become very close. Rose was a preschool teacher and adored kids, so whenever Carlie needed a sitter, she was with Rose. All of the Cullens had become family for Carlie and me. In fact, there were so many of them that Carlie didn't need her old babysitter at all anymore. Rose picked her up from school, and Edward would pick her up from Rose's, and the two of them would hang out at our condo until I got home. Edward even did all of Carlie's homework with her, and he usually cooked dinner.

Carlie loved Esme and Carlisle as well. She always wanted to go to their house in the country and play with their chickens and feed the cows. The Cullen's home for teens and young adults, wasn't far from the city, but it was on fifteen acres and had a farm, which was heaven for Carlie. Carlisle worked long hours at the hospital, so they also had a condo in the city, but whenever they had someone who needed help, Carlisle took time off and stayed in their country home.

"So what do you think?" Esme asked me.

"Uh…about what?" I asked, feeling bad that I hadn't been paying attention to the conversation. Edward kept playing with my hair and kissing my shoulder, which had been completely distracting in the best possible way.

"About vacation this summer?"

"Oh, well, it really doesn't matter to me. Carlie's never been out of Washington before, so she'll be excited no matter what."

"I still say southern California; every kid needs to go to Disneyland," Rose said.

"Babe, last time we went there, they said I was too big to fit on the Dumbo ride," Emmet complained.

"Honey, the Dumbo ride is for kids, but there are hundreds of other rides for you to go on."

"What's the point to going to Disneyland, if you can't go on Dumbo?" Emmett said frustrated.

"Whatever," Rose said annoyed.

"I say we go to the Atlantis resort in the Bahamas," Alice offered. "There are a ton of kid friendly things to do there."

"That could be fun," Carlisle agreed.

"Ooo, I've always wanted to go there," Esme said excitedly. "Edward, what do you think?"

"I don't really care, as long as we don't have to have a conjoining room with theirs again," Edward said, pointing to Rose and Emmett.

"What, you didn't like the banging on the walls?" Emmett said with an evil grin.

"No, you scared the shit out of Carlie. Bella and I had to tell her that you were just doing aerobics," Edward said disgusted.

"Yeah, and then we had to try to come up with a reason why she couldn't go in there to watch you," I added.

We had all gone to a ski resort a few months prior, and Edward swore then that we'd never sleep anywhere near Emmett and Rose again.

"Oh come on, we took Carlie skiing a few times so you two could have your _adult_ time. I bet there was some noise making then," Rose rebutted.

"And, as you said, Carlie was way out of hearing range during our 'adult' time," Edward said irritated.

"Ok, Ok, so are we all agreed on Atlantis then?" Esme asked.

"Sounds good," Emmett said.

"Will Jasper be able to make it?" Carlisle asked Alice.

"He's on leave then, so he'll be there."

"Perfect, now if you'll all excuse me, I need to get back to work," Carlisle said before kissing Esme and walking out of the office. We all said goodbye and Edward held my hand and started walking me back to the elevator, when he unexpectedly pulled me into a janitor's closet.

"You are so going to get me fired," I said against his lips as he kissed me.

"Nah, Carlisle loves you, he'd never fire you," he said before moving his kisses to my neck.

"You take far too much advantage of his generosity," I said while I was undoing his pants.

"No I completely disagree. Carlisle has come to expect the worse from me, and I really wouldn't want to put him in shock by actually following the rules," he joked.

"You're right, that would be bad," I said with a smile as my hand went down his boxers and started stroking him.

"Have I ever told you that the whole nurse's uniform thing is really sexy," he said breathlessly.

"Yes, but you are more than welcome to tell me again," I said while pulling my hand out of his boxers and making them drop to his ankles, before unbuttoning my top so my bra was exposed.

"Ok, maybe it has nothing to do with the uniform," he said before kissing my breasts while his hands reached under my skirt and he pulled my panties down.

His hands traced the curve of my butt, and then he lifted me up so my legs could wrap around his waist. The janitor's closet was small, so after kicking a broom to the side, Edward pushed my back against the wall so he could get better leverage for his thrusting. It wasn't the first time that we had sex in the hospital, which I felt really bad about afterwards, but we weren't the only ones who did it. Many of the doctors would actually use entire empty rooms when they weren't full of patients. Of course, they had to scrub everything down when they were finished with their romping sessions, which I wouldn't think would have been worth it.

Edward moaned as quietly as possible as we came together in a burst of erotic bliss, and the feeling of him coming into me completely put me over the edge even more. I was grateful that I had been on birth control since right after Carlie was born, because worrying about condoms would have been difficult in the spur of the moment fits of passion.

When we were finished, we got redressed and he walked me back up to the pediatric floor.

"I'll see you at home," he said as he kissed me goodbye.

"Oh, that reminds me, Carlie has a slumber party tonight, so you don't need to pick her up."

"So… we'll be alone tonight….and most of the day tomorrow?" he asked with a scheming grin.

"We'll be alone tonight, but I'm having lunch with Angela tomorrow."

"Oh, when did she get back from Europe?"

"Today, that's why we're having lunch tomorrow. You know, you still haven't seen her since high school, so why don't you pick up Carlie at Claire's house, and stop by the restaurant? Carlie would love to see Angela anyway."

"I can do that," he agreed, then kissed me again before heading back to his work.

…..

After spending an incredible night and the morning after alone with Edward, I left to meet Angela for lunch. She had an amazing opportunity to work in Europe for the past four months, so I was excited that she was finally back.

"Hey," I said as I walked towards Angela who was already at a table.

"Oh my god, I've missed you so much," she said as we hugged.

"Me too."

"So, don't be mad Ok, but I ran into Jessica and she's meeting us too," Angela said guiltily.

"Ugh," I said disappointed. "What's she doing in Seattle?"

"I think she got promoted to a bank manager out here."

I didn't actually hate Jessica. She was one of the first friends I made in Washington, but I never told her how I got pregnant, so she always believed the rumors that were said about me, and we drifted apart.

"Hey bitches," Jessica said as she came up to our table. Angela and I both said hi to her and we all hugged before sitting down and ordering our food.

"So, how have you been?" I asked Jessica. "I feel like it's been forever since I saw you last. Over a year at least, right?"

"Yeah, but my life has been totally amazing." Jessica went on and on about her many relationships and Angela and I both looked at each other utterly bored.

"So what about you Bella? What have you been up to lately?" Jess asked me, finally taking a break from talking about herself.

"Uh, not much really. I work at the local hospital and…"

"Not what you do for a living, I want to know about your love life. Any hot doctors there?"

"Oh, maybe, do you want me to see if any of them are single for you?" I asked her.

"No, I've taken a break from dating. Weren't you listening to anything I just said?"

"Oh sorry."

"Are you still on a 'no dating' thing too?" she asked me.

"Uh, no. My boyfriend is actually going to bring Carlie by in a little while."

"He is?" Angela said excitedly. "Oh, I can't wait to see her; I've missed her so much. And it would be nice to see Edward again after all these years."

"Edward?" Jessica asked confused. "That's an unusual name for the modern world, unless he's like eighty or something. Bella, are you dating an old rich man for the inheritance?" Jessica said teasingly.

"No, we went to high school with Edward, remember?" Angela said to Jessica.

"High school? The only Edward I remember in our high school was the weirdo Jameson guy."

"That's him," I said proudly. I knew Jessica would have that reaction, so I prepared myself ahead of the time.

"You're dating Edward Freak Jameson? Why?" she asked disturbed.

"He's not a freak. In fact, he changed his last name since then and he's become the most amazing person you'd ever meet."

"Have you met him yet?" Jessica asked Angela.

"No, well I talked to him on the phone once briefly when I called from Europe."

"Wow, hold up. You're living with him?" Jess asked incredulously.

"Yeah," I said indifferently. I wasn't about to play into her stupid high school social games.

"Jessica, they live in the condos on Main, in the penthouse." Angela told her, hoping it would shut her up.

"So, he's loaded? Ok, well I can see why you'd suffer through dating him then. But still, I would just get so grossed out having to actually sleep with him."

We ate our food, and listened to more of Jessica's life, before she'd finally shut up long enough for Angela to talk about Europe. We were just about to wrap up, when Angela saw Carlie outside.

"Oh look, there's my favorite little girl," Ange said and grabbed her stuff before running outside to give Carlie a hug.

Jess and I grabbed our stuff too, and walked together to meet them.

"I missed you so much, and I got you lots of presents," Angela said to Carlie. I went over to Edward and kissed him while they were talking.

"Really! Thanks," Carlie said excitedly.

"Hey, how was the sleepover?" I asked her as she started skipping around in circles.

"Great!" she said.

"I think they had a lot of sugar," Edward said as we watched her.

"Edward, hey, it's so good to finally see you again," Angela said, and came over to give him a hug.

"Yeah, you too," he said to her.

"Hi Edward," Jessica said all flirty. I hadn't noticed that she was completely gawking at him, until she said hello. Obviously, her opinion of him had changed drastically after seeing the physical change in him.

"Hi," he said uncomfortably.

"So, you have definitely grown out of that awkward phase that you were going through in high school, huh."

"Uh, I guess so," he said, and then took a step closer to me out of fear from Jessica's forwardness.

"Momma, can we go?" Carlie asked impatiently.

"Yeah honey, I'm just going to say goodbye."

"I'll take her home, and we'll see you in a little while," Edward said to me before kissing me sweetly. "It was nice seeing you again," Edward said to Angela and Jessica, and then he left.

"Wow!" Jessica said. "When the hell did he get sexy?"

"I don't know, he just grew up…like we all did," I said suggestively to her.

"Hey, that padded bra that I used to wear got me a lot of dates," Jessica said defensively.

"Yeah, and what happened when they saw you without the bra?" Angela teased her.

"Whatever. So is that why you never mentioned who Carlie's father was?"

"What do you mean?" I asked confused.

"Well, I probably wouldn't want anyone to know that I slept with him back then either; and he left not long after you got pregnant right?"

"What the hell are you talking about?" I asked getting irritated.

"Oh come on Bella it's obvious, she looks just like him," Jessica said, completely taking me off guard. I looked at Angela, who looked just as stunned as I was.

"No," I said quietly and just walked away without saying goodbye.

"Bella, wait up," Angela said as she ran after me. "Jessica doesn't know what she's talking about."

"I know she doesn't," I said convincingly, but I couldn't get my heart to stop beating so fast. All I kept thinking about, was Edward's creepy father; his eyes, his face, his height. I used to be terrified of all men around six feet tall, and Aaron Jameson definitely fit that description. It would make sense that Carlie would look like Edward, if they were….siblings.

I had noticed similarities in Edward and Carlie before, but I always just dismissed it and told myself it was because they spent so much time together. Even people sometimes resembled their pets after a while. But having someone else say it, who didn't see them all the time, just freaked the hell out of me. My stomach started churning from the thought, and I just wanted to get home and disprove my theory by talking to Edward about it.

I knew exactly what he was going to say. He was going to tell me that he and his disturbing father were long gone before that horrible day when my stupid truck broke down. I knew the exact date that it happened, and I knew that Edward left school before, so all I needed was to hear him say that they had left town immediately as well.

Angela came home with me, so she could take Carlie to the park while I talked to Edward. When we got there, the two of them were playing cards at the table, which Carlie was obviously winning.

"Hey," I said, and they both looked at me and smiled.

"Angela, you're here!" Carlie said excitedly.

"Yeah, I was hoping I could take you to the park, and then maybe over my house for dinner?"

"Really?"

"Yep, go get your shoes on," Angela said with a smile.

Carlie got her shoes and coat in record time, and then she hugged Edward and me before leaving happily with Angela.

Edward started picking up the cards, and I picked up a picture of the three of us, which was sitting on the end table. I looked at Carlie and Edward's faces next to each other, and the resemblance was uncanny, but the fact that I never noticed it that much before, gave me hope that my mind was just playing tricks on me.

"What's wrong?" Edward asked as he hugged me from behind, and kissed my shoulder. The position he embraced me in, reminded me of the way I was raped from behind, and for the first time in years, I freaked out a little.

"Let go!" I said, and moved out of his arms quickly.

"Okay," he said confused.

"Edward, when did you and your dad leave Forks?" I asked him quietly.

"What's wrong?" he asked again.

"Just answer the question."

"Uh, it was like December sometime."

"What day?" I asked abruptly.

"I don't remember. Why?"

"I was raped. Did you know that?" I asked realizing that I never actually told him anything about Carlie's conception. "It happened right around the time you and your father left town."

Edward became very quiet, and that old glazed over look came back to his eyes. It was like he was listening, but he completely shut off all his emotions, and then I realized something…

"You've never asked me about Carlie's father. Isn't it kind of normal for a guy to ask their girlfriend who the father of her child is?"

He didn't say anything, he just stared at me blankly, just like he did when we first met again at the hospital, and then I realized why.

"Oh my god….you knew," I said quietly. "You knew this whole time that your father raped me."

"What?" he asked finally, but I was really starting to freak out then, as everything started coming together. His strange behavior, the way he froze the first time he saw Carlie. The way he was interested in her, but tried to avoid her at the same time.

"You knew," I couldn't stop the tears from rolling down my cheeks. "You knew, and that's why you said we couldn't be friends, and that's what you were talking about when you said that your father did something 'unforgivable'. You knew all along that Carlie is your…_sister_."

"Bella," he whispered.

"How could you do this? How could you be here with us, and make love to me knowing the truth and keeping it to yourself? Is that why you wanted me living here, with all the security downstairs? Is he going to come after me again? Is he going to come after Carlie?" I started to panic. Carlie was at the park with Angela, and it would be too easy for Aaron to come take her away, and I'd never see her again.

"Oh, my god," I said again, and then grabbed my purse to leave.

"Where are you going?" he asked me worriedly.

"I have to go find Carlie; I have to make sure she's safe. And then we're going to move somewhere that he can't find us, we just have to go," I said with a shaky voice.

"You don't have to go anywhere, he's not coming after you and he doesn't even know about Carlie."

I stared at him in angry disbelief. I didn't need him to confirm it, because I knew for a fact that Aaron was Carlie's father, but he did confirm it, which made me absolutely livid.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked through clinched teeth. "How could you just let it happen? Did he tell you that he did it to me, did you know before he did it? What, you hoped I would never figure it out and you'd get a free pass to your sister?"

"Bella," he said again quietly.

"What? Please tell me something, anything? Give me your best excuse for letting your father rape me?"

"He's not my father," he said unexpectedly.

I just stared at him confused for a minute.

"I was adopted…or whatever."

"Or whatever? What the hell does that mean? You were either adopted or you weren't," I said irritated.

"Aaron isn't my biological father. I'm not connected to him genetically whatsoever," he said slowly.

"Wait, what are you saying to me?" I asked uncomprehendingly. "How could Carlie look so much like you if she's not your sister biologically?" My heart started racing and every inch of me started trembling, as if my body already knew what my mind refused to let me believe. I loved Edward immensely, we had become so close and I couldn't imagine my life without him. There was no way he could have been the one to…

"I never wanted to hurt you," he said so quietly that I could barely hear him.

"YOU NEVER WANTED TO HURT ME?" I exploded at him. I felt like I was going to be sick, and I was grateful that I had gone numb; otherwise I knew the pain would have completely taken over, but I needed to remain calm so I could get the answers I needed. "You…you…you practically begged us to move in here, you said it was for protection. You said there were insane people out there…but it was _you _all along." I started getting angry again, "you were the one who I needed the protection from the most."

"I'm sorry," he muttered.

"You're sorry," I said nodding, and even laughed humorlessly. "YOU'RE SORRY? Oh, my god! What the hell have I done?" I said the last part to myself.

"You haven't done anything wrong, I should have…."

"No, I did everything wrong. I've been so stupid to not see what was right in front of me….oh my god, I left you _alone_ with her." I started becoming hysterical and the thought of Carlie alone with a rapist.

"I would never hurt her," he said quickly.

"And how the hell do I know that? I don't know you at all. Just how many women have you raped, anyway?" I said, trying to maintain control, though I could feel myself about to snap.

He shook his head at me, "No one _else_."

"Oh, so it was just me?" I said while laughing again. "Why, what the hell made me so _special_?"

"I don't know, I didn't mean to do it," he said, which just pissed me off even more.

"Oh what? It was an accident? You accidently bought a mask, and you accidently followed me home that day, and you accidently _raped_ me?" I said through my tears.

"Bella, I know that you're upset but you need to…."

"Don't you dare tell me that I need to calm down," I said sternly. "You raped me, and I got pregnant, and then you came around here like it was nothing, and played house with us, and…._made love to me_, and you just think that's fine?" I said disgusted.

"I tried to stay away from you, I tried to…."

"You didn't try hard enough! What the hell am I supposed to say to Carlie? How the hell am I supposed to tell her what you did, and why you aren't in her life anymore?"

Edward looked away from me, and I knew that he had no intention of looking back.

"I've lived in fear for eight years that whoever raped me was still out there, watching me, waiting for the perfect time to do it to me all over again. But stupid me just invited the devil himself right in our lives, in my bed…. You know, I really don't get it. I liked you back then, maybe if you had actually spoken to me a few times, we could have been friends, and maybe that could have developed into something more. You didn't have to rape me; you didn't have to take my life away like that."

I waited for him to respond, but he didn't, he just stared at the ground in front of him, but seeing nothing.

"SAY SOMETHING! Say anything, I deserve that," I said frustrated.

"There's nothing I can say to make it up to you. I can't change it, I can't take it back, there's no _excuse_ that can make it right." He looked up from the ground, and looked deep in my eyes; "I'm truly sorry, but I know that will never be enough." A tear dripped down his face, and he looked away again before grabbing his coat. "But I swear, you don't have to be afraid anymore. I won't come back, I won't ever hurt you again," he said before walking out of the door.

I never felt so many different things at once before. I was so angry and hurt, and I felt completely betrayed, but it was the first time since it happened, that I wasn't afraid. I always thought there was some hideous faceless monster out there, and as much as I tried not to, I'd sometimes look at Carlie and try to picture her monstrous father's face. Did she have his chin, or his nose, maybe even his hair…and she did, she looked so much like Edward that I wondered how I could have possibly missed it.

I picked up the picture of the three of us together, and looked at Carlie with her _father_…and I just snapped. I threw the picture across the room, and it broke a lamp when it came to a crashing stop.

I wasn't afraid anymore, because I refused to be afraid of Edward, but I knew I'd never forgive him either. But what hurt the most was how much I loved him. I hated him and still couldn't figure off how to turn off my love for him. But it didn't matter how I felt deep down, I'd never let him come near me again, and I'd be damned before I ever let him near Carlie again.

I couldn't sit there and dwell on it in that moment, I needed to be in action. I grabbed our suitcases and threw in whatever was ours before, and I brought them down to my car. I drove to the hospital and resigned, and was grateful that Carlisle wasn't there that day. Then I drove to Angela's to pick up Carlie.

"Hey, what happened?" Angela asked concerned.

"I need to go home, I can't be in this city anymore," I said quickly and looked around for Carlie.

"Carlie's up in the loft coloring," Angela explained. "Bella, what did he say?"

"He admitted it," I said quietly.

"He admitted that he knew all along?" Angela asked horrified.

"Oh yeah he knew. Because he's the one who did it." I said while shaking again.

"Wait…what?"

"Edward is Carlie's _father_," I said quietly. "I need to go, I need to leave now,"

"Edward was the one who…"

"Angela, I really appreciate everything, but I can't stay here any longer. CARLIE, IT'S TIME TO LEAVE NOW!" I called to her.

"OK, momma," she said running down the stairs happily. "Bye Angela," she said giving her a hug.

"Bella, let me drive you," Angela said as I pulled Carlie out the door.

"No, I'll be fine, I just want to go home. Thanks for everything," I said sincerely as I hugged her goodbye.

When Carlie climbed in the car, she saw the suitcases, and was very confused. "Are we going to grandpa's for a visit?"

"Yeah, we're going to be staying with him for a while."

"Ok, are we going to pick up Edward at his work?"

"No baby. Edward's not going to be around anymore."

"Why?" Carlie became upset. "Did you break up or something? That's not fair, just because you don't want to be with him anymore, that doesn't mean that I can't see him anymore."

"YES IT DOES!" I yelled, and she looked at me stunned, then started quietly crying to herself.

"No mom, there's this father-daughter camp out for girl scouts, and I was going to ask him to take me."

"He's not your father," I said angrily. I didn't care what was in her DNA, I'd never think of Edward that way again.

"Esme said that it doesn't matter what's in our biology, it's the actions that count, so Edward is my dad. He always treats me like his daughter, and he spends more time with me then most of my friends' real dad's do."

"CARLIE ENOUGH!" I yelled again. I absolutely hated yelling at her, but I couldn't stand hearing her affections for Edward anymore. I knew he never hurt her, and I knew they loved each other, but I couldn't let him be in our lives ever again.

Carlie was angry and refused to speak to me for the rest of the trip, so I spent that time contemplating my options. Charlie would want an explanation as to why I was moving back in with him, and I learned my lesson the last time when I didn't tell him the truth, but I hated the idea of him knowing. Edward and I had become joined at the hip, and we never went anywhere without the other, including visits to Charlie's. Charlie was skeptical of Edward at first, but they bonded over baseball and had actually been quite friendly since. But more than that, Charlie was a cop, and my rape was still an open case, and I just didn't know if I actually was okay with Edward being arrested. I believed him when he said he never did it to anyone else, and I truly believed that he was sorry, and though I'd never forgive him, I didn't want him to be in prison either.

* * *

***One more chapter of Bella's POV, and then we'll move on to Edward's life story. As in any other 'Twilight' story, I always write happy endings, so please keep that in mind. I know some might think Bella would be incapable of forgiveness after such a horrible thing, but that's the journey, and EVERYONE will forgive Edward when he reaches his redemption. **

**Very dark scenes ahead, and remember the description 'Even the guilty can be innocent.' If you already know where the story is going, then there won't be too many surprises, but it will definitely be an emotional ride. Please Review***


	12. Into the Darkness

**Innocent Sins**

A/N: I'm updating early again. I didn't want to drag this out too long and this was finished, so I decided to post it right away. Once again, I in no way, condone rape of any kind. This is a dark fictional story that isn't meant to offend anyone. Thanks.

* * *

~Chapter 12 – _Into the Darkness~_

BPOV

When I pulled up to Charlie's house, he must have heard my car because he came running out in a panic.

"Bella, are you okay sweetheart?" he said in a rush. Carlie looked at him like he was crazy.

"Dad, what's going on?" I asked concerned. I knew why I was upset, but I had no idea why he was all freaked out.

"Hey Carlie honey, go on inside. I set up all your paints in the kitchen and I'd love a big colorful picture to hang in my room."

"Okay grandpa," she said with a smile, and then skipped in the house. The moment she was out of sight, Charlie wrapped me in his arms and held me tightly.

I didn't know how he knew, but he did, and I started crying as he held me there.

"How did you find out?" I asked while I blubbered.

"Jake called."

"Jake?" I asked confused.

"Yeah, apparently Edward turned himself into the police department in Seattle and admitted that he was guilty. Jake works there now, so as soon as he heard, he called me."

"Edward's in jail?" I said emotionlessly.

"Yes baby, and that bastard will never hurt you again. I've heard of a lot of sick things in the past, but him getting you to date him like that…." Charlie couldn't finish his statement; he just shook his head and tried to fight back the tears. "I'm so sorry that I couldn't protect you from him. That son of a bitch sat in my living room and I watched baseball with him and…"

"Dad, this isn't your fault," I tried assuring him, but he wouldn't listen.

"Yes it is. I told you to go to Seattle, I told you to start dating again, this is my entire fault."

"I love you dad, and you didn't do anything wrong."

…..

I had no idea what to do with my life then, so Charlie suggested that I take some time off, and I actually agreed.

I put Carlie back in the Forks elementary school, but she hated it and missed her friends. Carlie kept asking about Edward and the Cullens until Charlie snapped one day and yelled at her. Charlie had never yelled at her before, so she took him extremely seriously and she didn't bring them back up again.

Two weeks later, Charlie seemed very irritated and when he came home from work one say, I noticed a definite change in him.

"Oh my god, dad? What happened to your hands?" I asked because his knuckles looked like he had beaten a brick wall.

"Don't worry about it honey. How was your day?" he asked distantly.

"Dad, I thought we were going to be honest with each other?" I said annoyed by his deflection.

"I didn't want to put you through anymore….Because the rape happened here, they moved him to the county prison here."

"Edward was moved here?" I asked in disbelief knowing he was only a few miles away, and then looked back at Charlie's fists. "What happened, to your hands?" I asked him again.

"I snapped. Bella I wanted to kill him. I wanted to beat him to death, but I was too weak and I couldn't do it. I couldn't even allow myself to kill the monster that hurt my baby. What kind of man am I?"

"The good kind. You're not a killer dad, no matter what he did." I said quietly, not sure how I was feeling about it.

"He just sat there and took it. He didn't try to hit me back or even protect himself. It just pissed me off even more, I wanted to _fight_ him, but it was like beating a motionless punching bag."

"Are you going to get in trouble for this?" I asked, worried he'd lose his job.

"No. Sam's the only one who saw, and he's not going to say anything. Even if Edward presses charges, it'll just be his word against mine and Sam's."

I was relieved that Charlie wasn't going to get in trouble, but no matter how much I hated Edward, I still hated the idea of him being hurt even more. I knew it would take a while before I managed to get rid of my feelings for him altogether. It was like he was two different people. The disgusting monster who raped me, and the man I was still in love with. It was hard to combine him into the same person in my mind, and I still yearned for the happier times with him. I also thought about the Cullens a lot. I felt bad for breaking ties with them as well, because I knew how much they loved Carlie, but I knew I'd never be able to be around them without thinking about Edward.

A couple more weeks went by, but Carlie and I just never fully felt at home. The diner had been long rebuilt, so I got my old job there, because I really couldn't stand the idea of being a nurse again. I'd never be able to walk past a janitor's closet without thinking about Edward. I still ached for what I lost, and I had to keep reminding myself that it was all just a lie, but it was difficult and it hurt far worse than the rape itself.

Sue had gone back to babysitting Carlie after school, and since then, Carlie had been painting nothing but rainbows. I asked her why one day, and she said that they reminded her of Edward, so I didn't ask her that question again.

I hated the diner. The smell of the fryer would seep into my pores and even after I showered, I still felt greasy.

After my shift was over one evening, I went to bring Charlie some dinner, because though I hated diner food, he absolutely loved it.

"Hey, I knew you were working late tonight, so I thought I'd bring you some food," I said to him.

"Thanks honey," he said with a smile. Charlie had been doing mostly office work at the station lately, and he avoided going to the county jail as much as possible.

"So any leads on the missing person's case?" I asked knowing he was stressed about it. A young woman had gone missing in the next town over, so Charlie was helping as much as possible.

"No, it's like she just disappeared."

"That's awful," I said.

I heard the door open behind me, and the rush of the cold air sent chills down my spine.

"What the hell?" Charlie said quietly as whoever came through the door walked closer.

"Good evening Chief Swan, it's been a long time," his slithering voice said. I started shaking the moment I saw him, and reflexively I backed up.

"You don't have any business here Aaron, if you want to visit your son, go to the county jail," Charlie said bitterly to him.

"Now, now, now; there's no need to be rude. I'm actually here to see you, my old friend."

"We were never friends, so tell me what the hell you want so you can leave."

"I want what you want, what every good parent wants. I want my son back home with me."

"What the hell did you just say?" Charlie asked incredulously.

"I think you heard me."

"Do you even know what he was arrested for?" Charlie asked him.

"Of course I know, I know everything."

"Then how could you come in here and ask me to release my daughter's rapist; especially with her standing right here."

"I have been waiting for the perfect time to come offer you my deal, and this was it. Beautiful Isabella needs to be present for this," Aaron said evilly.

"What the hell are you going on about?" Charlie asked him.

"If you please, I need to use your computer, and all will be revealed."

"My computer?"

"That's what I said sir."

"Dad, just do it," I said anxiously. I had a feeling that the disturbing man wouldn't leave until we went along with whatever he had planned.

"Fine, go right ahead."

Aaron went around the counter and sat in Charlie's chair. After pressing some buttons, he smiled sadistically and turned the monitor so we could see. There, on the screen, was Carlie tied up in the center of a dark room.

I started screaming, and Charlie pulled out his gun and pressed it to Aaron's chin.

"I'm going to kill you, you son of a bitch, bring me my granddaughter back."

"Bring me my son back," Aaron said casually, not even affected by the gun pointed at his brain.

"Maybe I'll just kill you then go find her myself," Charlie threatened.

"You'll never find her. I'm the only one who knows where she is, and trust me, if I die, she'll die as well. I'll expect my son to be released immediately.

"She is your granddaughter, do you even realize that? Do you even care?" Charlie asked him.

"I don't have much use for females of her age, but if you choose to not give me what I want, I'll have no problem killing her. She wouldn't be the first."

"She's your flesh and blood," Charlie said, still trying to get through to him.

"No she's not; and neither is Edward, but blood isn't all that important to me."

"Dad, Edward told me that Aaron isn't his father. In fact, he almost seemed scared of him and I know he ran away," I said with more fear then I ever felt in my life.

"My son?" Aaron said again, starting to become impatient.

Charlie backed up but still kept his gun aimed at Aaron, and he picked up the phone.

"Sam? It's Charlie. I need you to bring Mr. Cullen down here please….just do it."

I went to the other phone and called Sue. She thought that Carlie was sleeping in her bed, but then she went to go check on her, and automatically started screaming. "Bella, I'm so sorry," she cried.

I never felt sicker in all my life. Nothing else mattered, and I didn't care about anything other than getting my baby back in my arms. Aaron spent the next twenty minutes singing 'He's Got the Whole World in His Hands' which made me want to punch him.

Finally, a police car pulled up and I could see Officer Uley getting out, and then pulling a hand cuffed Edward out after. I'd be lying if I said that my heart didn't skip when I saw him, but I wasn't sure if it was out of fear, or because I still loved him.

Sam brought him in, and even though it had been a few weeks, his face was still slightly battered from when Charlie had beaten him. He looked at me but quickly looked away, and he looked at Charlie questionably before even noticing Aaron in the room.

When Edward saw Aaron, his whole body changed, he stiffened and I could see the terror in his eyes as he looked back at me worriedly. I didn't need to hear him say it, I knew that he was concerned about me being in the same room as Aaron.

"My dear boy, oh how relieved I am to know you're safe. You have no idea how worried I've been for the past eight years."

"What's going on?" Edward said quietly.

"Oh, just a trade," Aaron told him casually. "I took their beautiful Carlie, and they are releasing you to me if they ever want to see her again."

I looked at Edward, and it appeared that he actually stopped breathing. His whole face turned bright red, and it looked like he was going to explode from anger. I knew that despite what he did to me, Edward loved Carlie, and he was about to snap.

Suddenly, Edward seemed to calm himself, and he took a deep breath before he looked back at Aaron.

"Fine. You have me now, so let her go." He said, trying to sound indifferent, but I could hear the strain in his voice.

"I don't think so. If I let her go, then you'll just go and run back to the police and turn yourself back in again. No, I won't let her go until I have you right where I want you. You made a huge mistake my boy, and you must pay the consequences. Don't worry Chief Swan; I'll make sure he's held accountable for his sins."

"All I want is for my granddaughter to come home. Please, you have what you asked for, now let Carlie go," Charlie said desperately.

"Here's how this is going to work. Edward and Bella will come with me, and once I have Edward secured, Bella will be released with her daughter."

"No, Aaron, that won't work," Edward said calmly, but his eyes were raging. "If Bella comes, then the police won't have any assurance that you'll let them go."

"I'll come," I said quickly. Charlie and Edward both looked at me disapprovingly. "You can blindfold me, so I won't know where your location is, and then I'll make sure Carlie is okay, and you can blindfold us again to bring us back."

"No," Edward said and shook his head. "You need to just let Carlie go first," he said to Aaron.

"You and Miss Swan will come with me, or you'll never see her again. It's as simple as that."

Edward squeezed his eyes shut tightly and when he reopened them again, he had that glazed over look that I had become used to seeing from him when he turned off his emotions. "Fine, let's go."

"Now, hold on here," Charlie said terrified.

"Dad, I'm going to be fine. I'm just going to get Carlie and then Mr. Jameson will let us go. Right, Mr. Jameson?"

"Precisely."

Charlie and Sam watched helplessly as Aaron drove away with me and Edward in the car. I sat in the back quietly, and Aaron talked to Edward like they were best friends.

"So how have you been son? I tried finding you for so long, but you tricked me by changing your last name."

"The Cullen name comes with many benefits," Edward said dryly.

"Ah yes, I can imagine." We pulled into a bank parking lot, and Aaron turned off the car. "Go clean out your bank account. I know you've done quite well for yourself, and we'll be needing that money."

"Edward didn't argue, he just went right upto the bank to make the withdrawal.

"Is Carlie hurt?" I asked Aaron as we waited in the car.

"No, but if you don't play nice that can change."

"If Edward isn't your biological son, then where did he come from?"

"Let's just say that Carlie isn't my first kidnapping," he said sadistically.

"What are you going to do with him after Carlie and I go?" I asked, even though I wasn't confident that he was going to actually let us go.

"Edward has been very naughty, he needs to pay."

"If you knew he raped me, then why didn't you just have him arrested a long time ago."

"Raped you? Oh no my dear, he simply taught you a lesson. I saw you dancing with those boys in that night club, it was disgustingly sinful. It served you right to be attacked in that way. And look, I did you a favor. You not only got your beautiful daughter out of it, but you also stayed clear of men for a long time. Too bad my son had to come back into the picture. I'm sure you would have remained good, if it weren't for him. But alas, you are not my problem. I need to right the wrong I made when I allowed that maggot to survive in the first place."

"You got Edward out of prison…so you can kill him?" I asked confused and terrified.

"Oh, death would be too easy. Don't worry precious, I'm a man of my word and you and your daughter will be released."

Edward came back to the car with a bag of money, and before he sat, he looked at me quickly to make sure I wasn't hurt while he was gone.

"How much is there?" Aaron asked eagerly.

"A hundred thousand. It's all they would let me take out of the ATM, and if you want more, we'll have to wait until morning."

"Well, that will have to work for now." Aaron drove out to a remote area, where I didn't see any other houses for over fifteen minutes.

"Should I have a blindfold on or something?" I asked finally.

"No, there's no need," Aaron said casually.

I kept seeing Edward peek at me through the mirror, and as much as I hated him for what he did, I did feel better that he was there with me. Edward raped me, but Aaron was insane and he scared the shit out of me."

We arrived at a small farm house where there was a dilapidated barn right next to it. Edward got out casually, as if he had been there a million times, and he opened the door for me. I got out slowly, and Edward grabbed my arm.

"You're going to be fine, I promise," he said quietly so Aaron couldn't hear.

"Follow me my dear. Your daughter is right this way."

He led us in the barn, and then he opened a hatch in the ground which had rickety stairs that led down into the darkness. Aaron flipped the low lights, and then he looked at Edward with a smile, and said "Welcome home son."

"You have me back now, so just let them go," Edward said calmly.

"I just want to make a little video of your reunion. It's the perfect ending to your story my boy."

"No more videos Aro, please," Edward said strangely.

"But we've been making them since the beginning, and now I want the happy ending. Why do you think I wanted Bella here. It'll be the perfect family moment."

Aaron got out a camera, and he turned it on. "And action," he said enthusiastically.

Edward took a deep breath and grabbed my hand before leading me down the stairs. "Carlie?" he called to her.

"Edward?" her little voice sounded in the darkness, and Edward and I both ran to her.

"Mommy," Carlie cried as she saw us. She was sitting on a chair and her hands were tied behind her back. I wrapped my arms around her and cried as Edward untied her hands.

The second her hands were free, Carlie grabbed on to me and I squeezed her tightly, but then she let me go and latched on to Edward. She hugged him and he held her back, and whispered something in her ear, which she nodded at. Then he peeled her arms off of his neck and nudged her back to me.

"Okay Aro, let them go now," Edward commanded.

"Oh, I never said I'd let them go _alive_," Aaron said, and then he backed out of the room and shut the hatch, locking us inside.

* * *

***Not what you expected? EPOV next. It's not going to pick up right where we left off on this chapter, but we'll return here after we see what Edward's been through. Please Review***


	13. Strawberries and Hairspray

**Innocent Sins**

**A/N:** Wow, I'm really getting these chapters up quickly. I was anxious for this chapter so I worked on it for a few hours straight. After this, we'll go back to the normal once a day or once every couple days for updates.

**Little clarification on the last chapter**. It was brought to my attention that I wasn't detailed enough on certain things. When Sam got Edward out of jail, he also gave him back his belongings i.e. credit cards ID etc. When they went to the bank, it was late so only the ATM was open. Most ATMs you can't get $100,000 out, but Edward is rich and has many accounts, so I figured he was able to get that out in total with his various accounts. Idk but its fiction. And last there were no road blocks, because Charlie was scared that Aaron was going to kill Carlie, so he wouldn't have tried to stop them from getting to their intended location. Thanks 'IcarusToSun' for pointing those out. I hope this makes more sense, if not, I'm sorry. If anyone else has other concerns or questions, please feel free to PM me, and I will get back to you.

**Again**, I do not condone rape, or excuse Edward in any way. This is a fictional story and not to be taken seriously.

* * *

~Chapter 13 – Strawberries and Hairspray~

**Edward POV**

"Pack up son, it's time to leave again on another fishing trip for a while," Aaron said to me as I was doing my homework one day.

I learned not to question him over the years, because all that would accomplish was me getting beaten. I actually didn't understand why he insisted on me going to school in the first place_, what was it accomplishing besides drawing attention to us? _Then again, I didn't understand anything he did; I guess people who were insane never made any sense. I knew that since I had been with Aaron for so long, that I'd probably go crazy also, but when I felt like I was going to lose myself completely, I'd just go somewhere else in my mind. It was a coping mechanism that I had to use often.

Sometimes when I was nervous, I'd find myself humming the song to my mother's favorite show. Every day I had a harder and harder time remembering her, and humming the song kept me sane as well as kept my memory of her alive. Even though I couldn't picture her face all the time, I remembered other things, like the way she smelled of strawberries and hairspray, and though I remembered my father even less, I remembered he smelled of tobacco and cinnamon.

I wasn't stupid. I knew he was killing women and dumping their bodies off the boat while we were supposed to be 'fishing', but I couldn't really do anything about it either. Although most of my memories were fading, I'd never forget the first time I saw a woman's dead body….

…

I was eight years old, and my parents had gone out dancing for the night. We lived in an upscale safe town in the suburbs of Chicago, where the biggest crime was the kids busting the fire hydrants so they could play in the water. Usually I stayed with my grandparents when my parents had a night out, but they were both sick so my parents decided to take a chance and had one of their friend's seventeen year old daughter babysit. I remembered her long brown hair and the way she laughed like there wasn't a care in the world. Her name was Elena, and I remembered that, because I had the biggest crush on her.

She was a typical girl, whose life ended in a very non-typical way. She invited her boyfriend over to 'babysit' and they spent most of the time kissing and making out. I actually remembered thinking their little love session was funny, and instead of sleeping in my bed like I was supposed to be, I was giggling and spying on them. But then there was a knock at the door.

"Who's that?" Elena's boyfriend asked.

"Pizza," she said with a smile.

"Ooo, nice," he responded.

She opened the door, but it wasn't pizza. I recognized Aaron immediately; he had worked for the company that had been painting the house.

"Who are you?" Elena asked him suspiciously.

"I'm here to save you," Aaron said in a slithering voice.

"Save me?" she asked confused.

"What you're doing is very naughty, and you need to pay for your sins."

"Man, you better back up!" her boyfriend said aggressively.

Aaron then grabbed a gun out of his pocket and pointed it at him, and immediately started firing. The guy ran into the back of the house, which Aaron followed, though I didn't see what happened to him after that. Aaron came back, and saw that Elena was running out of the house, but he caught her by her hair, and put the gun to her head.

"You said you were here to save me?" she cried, desperate to stay alive.

"Killing you is saving you," he said and then pulled the trigger. I cried out and turned my head so I didn't actually see the blow, and then I ran and hid under my bed. I was terrified, and I closed my eyes trying to wish away the monster, but he didn't go away. He pushed the bed away from being over me, and I screamed before he wrapped his hand around my mouth.

He picked me up and walked me into the living room, where he stepped over Elena's lifeless body. I was thrown in the back of his truck, and I never saw my family again.

We drove for days and when we'd stop, it was never anywhere near a major city. Occasionally he'd stop at a gas station and get me some chips and some water, but I was always so hungry. I had no idea what he wanted to do with me, or how long he planned to keep me for. Eventually he parked in front of a diner.

"Listen here you little maggot, I only kept you alive because I won't live forever and someday I'll need help ridding the world of sins. But if you ever think about leaving, or betraying me in any way, I'll kill your mommy and daddy, do you understand?"

I nodded, so he continued, "I know right where they are and no matter how much time goes by, I'll always know how to find them. Now, for now on, you're my son, and you'll do as I say."

…

We were only gone 'fishing' for a few months before we returned to Forks. I hated that he insisted on returning there, it was like he almost wanted to get caught or something. Aaron always insisted that I call him Aro when he was 'righting sins'. It was a strange psychotic thing he used to differentiate between his more crazy self, and his less crazy self; both were fit for a straightjacket.

But it could have been worse. He never made me do anything to the women, except hold the camera. I usually closed my eyes and looked away, and as long as I held it steady, Aro didn't care. He was training me, and though I didn't watch, he figured that in time I'd actually want to. He was absolutely insane, and I always knew that. But I knew that if I just kept my mouth shut and did as he said, my parents would be safe.

But he would videotape me as well. He liked to set up the camera and let the film roll as he demonstrated the proper way to beat someone. I never really knew what he did with the videos back then, but as I got older, I found out that he was selling them to cults and other disturbing groups that used false religion as an excuse for violating others. I couldn't imagine what kind of groups enjoyed watching women getting murdered, but I knew better than to ask.

The sexual abuse was always there as well, but it was always for the cameras and Aro would turn the whip on himself afterwards…again, for the camera.

Most of the time we lived in a small houseboat in the harbor, but when he felt like torturing the women a little bit before killing them, or he just needed to hide out for a while, we'd go the barn. The barn wasn't too far from the city, but it was discrete, and no one ever bothered him there. I was kept in a small hatch in the ground for days at a time. Aro said it was for my own good, and it was time to reflect on all of my sins, but actually, I enjoyed the isolation. It was time to escape and think about my family.

Aro never killed women from anywhere near Forks because that would draw too much attention on to him, so he'd go on all day long road trips to find them, or we'd go for weeks at a time to 'right the world' as much as possible.

But everything started to change as I reached adulthood. Aro wanted me to start taking a more hands on approach, and he was becoming even more insane. After dumping a couple bodies in the ocean , he forced me to go back to school. Again, he was crazy.

But something was different at Forks High, there was a change which rarely ever happened. There was a new girl at school, and all the guys there were completely taken by her. Any of them would do anything to date her, and although I didn't get it, I quickly became taken by her too.

She was beautiful, with long brown hair, just like Elena, and she smelled like strawberries and hairspray, which reminded me of my mother. I found myself constantly humming my mother's song around her, but it was almost uncontrollable in a way, her scent was just so overpowering. I immediately felt a strange need to protect the girl, but I knew the best way to do that was stay as far away from her as possible. But sometimes my desire to really know her became too much, so instead of actually speaking to her like I wanted, I'd just get up and leave the room.

But she still just didn't know how to leave me alone.

"Are you ok?" she asked me one day in biology, which no one ever really asked me before.

"When is anyone ever really Ok?" I said coldly to her. She must have thought I was odd from all the doodling and humming, but her thinking I was odd, was a good thing.

I avoided her all week, speaking as little as possible, but the following week our worlds would collide in the worst way.

"Uh, do you want to help me with this?" she asked me during a lab exam.

"What do you want me to do?" I asked quietly.

"How about, you go get the water," she said.

"Mmm," I said while shaking my head.

"Do you have a problem with water?" she asked me confused.

"No, I just don't like the faucet," I muttered honestly.

"The faucet?"

"Yeah, it's just like the kind on the outside of houses where you attach a garden hose to. I really don't like those." I had no idea why I told her that, but it was a real phobia of mine. Aro always made me hose down the blood after he killed the girls at the barn, and every time I had to touch that type of faucet, I'd start to freak out a bit.

"Um…okay."

She asked me to help with the lab, and although that type of thing came easy for me, I just really didn't care enough to try.

"Do you know how to read?" Bella asked me surprisingly. I really didn't know what made her come to that conclusion, but her genuine concern took me off guard.

"Isn't reading something they cover in the first grade?" I asked, trying to sound like I was joking. Of course I knew how to read, I learned before I was taken from home, but because my real father was a Biotechnology Research Scientist, I also knew a lot about Biology. Even when I was eight, I was very interested in biology, and I knew for a fact that the lab we were doing, was wrong.

"I can read fine, it's just that there's a mistake on the sheet."

"What kind of mistake?" she asked skeptically.

"Well, not a mistake, just an unnecessary step. See, this part here is just a waste of time, so let's just bypass it and do it this way."

"No, we need to follow the directions correctly," she disagreed.

"But the directions are wrong." I had no idea why I cared so much, but that was the biggest mistake of my life.

Bella went up to the teacher to ask him about it, and of course he knew I was right, so he thought I needed to be in advanced courses. Even though I asked him not to call my 'father', Mr. Molina did it anyway and just happened to mention Bella Swan in the conversation.

"So, you made a new friend at school huh?" Aaron asked me after school.

"No. I have no idea what you're talking about," I said irritated. He always came up with the strangest delusions, and I'd have to spend the rest of the week trying to prove to him that he was wrong.

"Bella Swan? Now she must be Chief Swan's daughter, is she not?"

"Yeah, I guess," I said trying to convey my lack of interest in her, so Aaron wouldn't be interested in her either.

"Well, Chief Swan is a good man; I'd hate to think his daughter was less than virtuous."

"She's fine," I said quickly.

"I may have to keep an eye on her to make sure of that."

I closed my eyes and just hoped that he didn't see her do anything that would make her 'less than righteous' in his eyes. I hated myself for even being the cause of his attention on her, but I never actually thought he'd do anything; she was a local girl, who could be possibly traced back to him, which wasn't his usual victim.

But that weekend, he followed her, and saw her dancing with some boys, which he deemed as inappropriate.

"It's time that you're initiated into manhood," he said to me excitedly as he came back into the house.

"What the hell are you talking about?" I asked annoyed as I fiddled with my guitar. The guitar was the one good thing he ever did for me. He told me that he bought it for me so I could learn how to play 'pure' music, but it became my salvation and I used it to express all my feelings which I was never allowed to in life. I'd often sneak out when he was busy stalking people, and I'd play for open mic bars. Without realizing it, playing for strangers was like my desperate call for help, but of course no one noticed or cared…no one but Bella.

'_Um, I saw you play on Saturday night, and I just wanted to say that I thought you were really good'_ – I thought about her words a lot, and even though it didn't really matter, it felt like someone truly heard me for the first time since I was taken from home.

"Put down the damn guitar when I'm talking to you," he said angrily, so I put it down.

"I've taught you enough, and now you're ready to take a more hands on role."

I understood right away that he was going to try to get me to kill someone, and as much as I loved my parents, I knew I'd never be able to do it, even though their lives depended on it. I could bury myself in the inner depths of my mind and stand by while he killed people, but even that was getting to be too much for me and I wondered how much longer I'd be able to hold on to sanity.

"No," I said quietly.

"No?" he asked confused. I never said no to him, so I'm sure he must have been shocked.

"No, I'm not going to kill anyone."

"And what will your mommy say when I tell her that you weren't willing to sacrifice for her safety."

I clinched my teeth together and had to fight back my anger. Aro fed on anger, and showing it just made him all the more excited.

"If you're going to kill them, then just do it already. And please, kill me too because I'm sick of this shit."

And then, Aro beat me. I wanted to just fight him back, I wanted to snap his fucking neck, but he had screwed with my mind so much for so long, that I didn't know what to believe anymore. He said he had the power to torture people even after he was killed, so the last thing I wanted was for him to die, only to come back and hurt my family. I could accept that they were to be murdered, but torture was a whole other story.

"Young Miss Swan has brought shame to her father, and you're going to make her repent."

"Go to hell," I said as I spit blood.

"Oh, look at your face. Look at what you made me do. I guess we won't be returning to school anytime soon. All the better, I'll pull you out and that will make a perfect alibi anyway."

"I'm not going to kill her," I yelled, but my voice was muffled in a way, which made it sound deeper, because my jaw was probably fractured again.

"Kill her? Oh no, I wouldn't do that to my friend Charlie. She just needs to be taught a lesson."

I had no idea what he was talking about, because he never did anything other than murdering and torturing his victims.

"What are you going to do to her?" I asked.

"Not me…_you_. She needs to be aware that when she uses her body suggestively, than men might get the wrong idea and will want to have sex with her."

_I really didn't like where he was going with that._

"So you, my boy, are going to do just that."

"Just what?" I asked even though I knew exactly what he was talking about.

"You will have sex with her…forcefully."

"No," I said again, and braced myself for another beating, but he just stared at me. "Sex is a sin, so why the hell would I force her to do that?" I said, trying to turn his own 'beliefs' onto him.

"You're right, sex is a sin, and so is murder. You and I have to give up our souls in order to save others, but in the end, we are truly the gifted ones."

I shook my head slowly.

"Oh, you will do it, because if you don't….I'll kill her."

"Fine, you will anyway. You've killed hundreds of girls, why would I care about this one?"

"Oh, you care. You care because she looks so much like…what was her name again?"

"I hate you," I said aggressively, hoping he'd take pity on me and just beat me to death right then and there.

"Soon you'll thank me. And think of it like this; not only will you be saving her life by doing this, but you'll be saving countless others as well. I'm going to video record it, and then sell the tapes so that others can show their teen girls the dangers of being promiscuous."

"You're sick. Really, you need to get your head examined."

"I want it to be believable, and remember, if she's not scared, then it doesn't work. But more importantly, if she manages to get away, or you don't follow through with it, she's dead. I've already found buyers for this tape, so if we end up killing Miss Swan, then we'll have to keep trying until we get it right."

Aro smiled, and then stopped the camera which I didn't even realize that was recording us with. He must have planned on beating me all along, because he always liked to film that.

The next day was a Monday, and I felt sick all day. The physical pain from being beaten was nothing, I was used to that, but the dread of what I was expected to do was unfathomable.

"Here, I got you a present," Aro said, and handed me a mask.

"Why do I have to wear that if we're leaving right after?" I asked. I was hoping that she would recognize me and tell the police right away, that way I could be arrested eventually and put out of my misery.

"If she finds out who you are, she's dead," he said irritated.

"Why?" I asked desperately.

"One, it's not good for the video sales. The assailant needs to be a faceless predator. Two, if she knows who you are, she won't have that same level of fear that I want to see in the video. Now, I snuck on the school parking lot and messed with her truck a bit. It should break down on the way home. You will be waiting in the line of trees by her house, and I'll be in our truck recording the whole thing."

"Please don't make me do this," I asked hopelessly. "I never asked you for anything before. I've kept your secrets and done everything you told me to do. Just this one time, please don't."

I didn't want to hurt anyone, but the idea of hurting Bella was even worse. Aaron was right, I did care about her. She looked like Elena and smelled like my mom, but she was more than that. She had a fierceness about her, a strong spirit; she saw me when no one else did, and she deserved so much more than to be broken in that way.

"Get ready my boy, you're about to become a man," Aro said excitedly.

As I waited in the woods by her house, I really hoped she had a hand gun in her purse and she was able to shoot me. I closed my eyes tightly and buried my emotions as deep as they would go, and as I heard her rickety old truck backfire and come to a screeching stop, I swallowed what was left of my conscious, and put my mask on. …..

She was stronger than I ever imagined, both physically and emotionally. She had a will of stone and I only hoped that she still had it in her overcome the horror I put her through _someday_. When it was over, I ran deeper into the woods, and vomited violently all over the place.

"Now, you can't leave evidence there like that," Aro said as he filmed me throwing up.

"You fucking bastard," I said breathlessly.

"Ah, this has been a bonding experience for us. We'll forever be together now as father and son. Someday I'll retire, and you'll continue my work until you find an apprentice of your own."

I stood and walked emotionlessly back to his truck, and got in. He drove to the barn where we collected some things, and left to find a new place to live. He considered leaving the country and going to Europe, but as I sat there numb, I just knew I couldn't go on.

"I have to use the restroom," I said flatly.

Aro pulled over at a truck stop, and I went in. I considered starting a fight with one of the truckers in hopes he had a knife, but I couldn't handle the violence in that moment. I saw a truck with an open trailer, so I ran and jumped inside when the driver wasn't looking. He shut the back behind me, and I closed my eyes and just prayed that he'd take me as far away as possible.

* * *

***What did you think?**

**Once again, I'm not excusing Edward raping Bella, this is just a story and isn't meant to offend anyone or be taken seriously, as is it is a work of fiction.**

**Edward meets the Cullens up next. Please Review***


	14. Starting Over

**Innocent Sins**

~Chapter 14 –_Starting Over_~

EPOV

I had no idea how long I was in that truck for, but when I felt it stutter to a stop, I figured my ride was over. The back door opened, and I slid out past the stunned driver, and said 'thank you' before walking off. I was in a small town, though I had no idea where, so I walked to the nearest liquor store.

"Excuse me, where are we?" I asked the store clerk.

"Well this here is Osburn. Where were you hoping to be?" he asked me.

"Osburn? Where's Osburn?" I asked.

"You sure are lost, aren't you son?" he asked with a laugh. "This is Northern Idaho, but if you keep going a little further east, you'll hit Montana, and if you keep going a little west, you'll be in Washington."

_East it is._

"Thank you sir," I said politely before going back outside. I decided to keep going east, and eventually south. I didn't want to be anywhere near Chicago because I knew the desire to go back home would be too strong. I couldn't go home, _he'd_ expect me to do that, and I had to try not to think about Aro going there and hurting my family because I left.

I had no money, no ID, and absolutely nothing to my name. I figured I could hitchhike east, but the chances of running into another psychotic drifter were higher when hitchhiking. I had no idea what to do, so I just sat on the bench outside the store all day.

"Son, we really don't want any loitering," the store clerk said as he was locking the door for the night.

"Sorry," I said quietly before getting up and walking to a nearby park. I laid on a bench and just stared up at the dark sky, contemplating my life, until the sun came back up. I hated everything that Aaron did, but I loathed myself even more. My parents were big on morals and even though I had spent more years with Aaron then I did with them, I took their teachings with me and I always trusted them more than anything Aaron ever said. Perhaps that's how I was able to not lose myself completely over the years, everything I did was to protect them, and I thought I was saving them. But after committing such a heinous act, I couldn't live in that denial anymore.

I stood by and watched so many women get murdered right in front of me, and did nothing about it. I raped a girl who did absolutely nothing but be in the wrong place at the wrong time; _not that a less innocent girl deserved it any more_. I couldn't go on believing that I was just a victim, because I had become just as bad as he was, and I knew better. Even if it was safe to go home again, how could I ever look my father in the eye after what I had done? How could I let my mother hug me and smell her sweet scent, and not think about how terrified Bella was? I accepted that I'd never see my parents again, so I knew that couldn't change, even if I were able to go back.

"Hey buddy, you got any money?" a guy asked me after the sun moved higher in the sky.

"No, sorry." I said, and then went back to my self-loathing internal monologue, but the guy wasn't ready to leave me alone.

"So, that really sucks that you don't have any money, cause I got a car and I was planning to visit this real cush place that takes in strays, if you know what I mean. Man, they give out free food and a warm bed to sleep in. But see, I got this car, I just don't have any money for gas."

"Sorry, I can't help you," I said honestly.

"Well, I know a way to get some money, but I need help. You know what I mean?"

"No," I said flatly. I really didn't know why this guy was bothering me, but I really just wanted to be left alone.

"Man, it's a real cush place to be. I only need a little help."

"Fine," I said annoyed and without any other plans. "What do you need me to do?"

"See that guy over there?" he said and pointed to a man going into a bank.

"Yeah?"

"Well, see he's my old boss, but he fired me and didn't pay me my last check. So all I need you to do is go up to him and distract him a bit."

"And what are you going to do?" I asked suspiciously.

"Well, I'm going to steal his wallet, of course."

"Ok…well…good luck with that," I said casually and started walking away.

"Nah man, it aint like that. He owes me money, that's mine anyway."

"I'm sorry he took your money…or whatever, but I really don't want to get involved.

"Man, it's obvious you don't got any other options, I know you slept here all night. All I'm asking is for help to get something that's already mine, and then I'll get gas, and you can come with me to this cush house."

I wasn't sure what he meant when he said 'cush' but he did have a point; I had nowhere else to go.

I waited for the man to come out of the bank, and when he did, I started talking to him. He looked at me like I was crazy, but I didn't have to talk to him for long, the guy had his wallet out of his back pocket quickly.

I met the guy behind the building and really hoped that he wasn't bullshitting about this place he knew of.

"Hey man, that was awesome, you won't be sorry. I'm Riley by the way."

"Edward," I told him. I actually surprised myself when I told him my real name, I had planned to change it, but it just slipped.

He took the hundred bucks out of the wallet, and discarded the rest in the dumpster. He kept his word and bought gas, and let me go with him to wherever he was going.

"Wait, we're going west?" I asked disappointed.

"Yeah man, the place I was talking about is in Washington."

_Damn it._ "Oh well, I really don't want to go to Washington, I just left there. Just pull over and let me out."

"Man, I'm telling you, you don't want to pass on this place. Whatever you're running from, this place is the perfect hiding spot."

I thought about it for a while, and decided that he was probably right. Aaron would never suspect that I'd stay in Washington, so he wouldn't look for me there. As long as I didn't have to go anywhere near Forks, or anyone who ever lived there, I'd be fine.

After a long drive, we reached a sparse country location, and he pulled up to a large house with a barn, which immediately made me want to leave. I hated barns and country living, but as I would soon discover, this place was entirely different. There were actual animals in the barn, and people were outside throwing baseballs and actually laughing. Despite the similar setting as the hell I had lived in before, the place that I had come to by chance seemed like an oasis in the middle of the horrible desert that my life had become.

"Hello, welcome," a man said as he put down a baseball. I noticed right away that the man was the exact opposite of Aaron. Aaron had dark eyes and long black hair, where as the man greeting us had blue eyes and golden short hair. Looks can be deceiving, but I knew right away that Riley was right, this was a good place to be.

We were both given a change of clothes and something to eat, and a bed to rest in if we wanted. Apparently, the Cullens took in 'strays' as Riley called us, and they allowed teens and young adults to stay with them until they could get back on their feet. I had no idea how Riley heard of them, but I was grateful that he did.

Riley stayed for a week, and before he left, he asked me to go with him.

"Where are you going to go?" I asked him.

"Ah, who knows, but that's the adventure. We can't stay here forever, this place is only supposed to be temporary."

I hated the idea of leaving. The people were very nice and pretty much left me alone, which was exactly what I needed. I decided to talk to Mr. Cullen and see how long I was allowed to stay for.

"Uh…Mr. Cullen?" I asked as he was drinking coffee at the kitchen table.

"Yes, Edward?"

"I was wondering. What's the average length of time people usually stay here for?"

"Well, that can vary depending on each person's needs."

"Well, what's the longest anyone has ever stayed?"

"Esme and I have adopted four kids who had come here over the years. But they were all legally released from their prior guardians. How old are you, Edward? We allow people to stay here when we feel as though they are in need, but if you're underage, then we need to call your guardians if you would like to stay longer than a week."

"Ok, I'll be going then," I said hesitantly, and went up to my room to grab the notebook that I had been writing music in, but Mr. Cullen followed me.

"Edward, I don't usually ask this, but are you running _from_ someone?"

"Why would you think that?"

"Well, besides the fact that you are covered in bruises, you seem very timid, if you don't mind me saying. My wife Esme works as a child psychologist, she can help you if you let her."

"I can't afford to pay for something like that."

"Edward, be honest with me. If someone has hurt you, and you are afraid to leave, then just say so. Esme is bound by the psychologist code to not repeat anything you tell her. This is a safe place, and if you just confide in us, we'll make sure you get the help you need."

"I can't confide in you, and I can't go back to where I came from. But I appreciate your hospitality for the past week."

"Edward, just tell me that you're not a runaway and your parents aren't scared to death out there looking for you."

"I'm not a runaway…_technically_, and I haven't seen my parents since I was a kid. I just needed to get away from my situation, and so I ended up here."

"OK. Since I can't prove that you're a minor, I'll just assume that you're not and you can stay here as long as you need to."

"Thank you, Mr. Cullen," I said sincerely.

"You're welcome, and please call me Carlisle."

Riley left, and I knew I'd never see him again, and though I didn't really know him all that well, I credited him for convincing me to come with him and completely saving my life. I felt safe with the Cullens, and that was something that I hadn't felt since I was little, and I doubted I'd ever find a reason to leave.

Weeks turned into months, and I slowly started becoming more sociable with the Cullens. I even caught myself laughing with them from time to time. There were always new people around, but the same six Cullens always remained constant, and I found myself almost thinking of them as family.

"Edward, I need to talk to you about something," Carlisle told me one day. We had all been playing baseball outside, and I had convinced Emmett that I could actually read minds, which freaked him out and he called me a cheater.

"What's up?" I asked casually.

"We're going to be moving back to the city soon. I haven't been working and although I have plenty of funds tied up in stocks and real-estate, I need to get an income back if we want to continue to help those in need."

"Okay," I said concerned. I could hide out in the country where no authorities questioned my identity, but even if the Cullens let me go with them, I had no form of ID, which would raise suspicion there.

"We have all come to think of you as family, and we'd like nothing more than for you to come with us, but in order for that to happen, we're going to need to contact social services so we can try to get your birth certificate."

"I don't have a birth certificate," I said quickly.

"Edward, we need help here. We can't help you get your own life if you don't tell us something…anything."

"Ok," I said finally, and agreed to talk to Esme under the psychologist-patient privacy code.

I told Esme only partial truths. I told her that I had been abused, and I had witnessed murder, but I refused to say that I was kidnapped because I knew she'd want to try to return me to my real family. Esme was horrified at the things I said, and she even cried. Then I started feeling bad for her sympathy, so I told her that I was forced to rape a girl. I expected her to lash out and kick me out, it's what I deserved, but she didn't . She said that I desperately needed therapy, and she promised that if I continued to go to her for sessions, she would make sure that I was taken care of.

I told her that I was Ok with her talking to Carlisle about everything, in fact, I decided to tell him myself because I wanted them to know exactly what kind of monster they were allowing to live with them; _I owed them that_. He agreed with Esme that I needed help, and so he did something that I knew he considered unethical…he ordered me some fake IDs. I was mostly honest with them, the only thing I lied about was where Aaron got me from. I told them that he was my mom's boyfriend and she died, leaving me alone without any family. So they didn't want to tell the police because I told them that the police wouldn't find him, but he'd find me and kill me.

When my fake ID came in, I decided to leave Jameson behind and start over, so I simply became Edward Cullen. I never went through a phase where I lashed out and pushed the Cullens away, because even with all of my past trauma, I managed to miraculously keep a grasp on reality and I knew that the Cullens only wanted to help me. Trust took longer to accomplish, but the intense therapy plus being around the other Cullens with jaded pasts, helped me find it within myself to trust them.

Carlisle also faked a high school diploma for me, and when we moved to Seattle, he enrolled me in the junior college nearby. I continued to have therapy sessions with Esme three times a week, and we all lived together in a big house in the suburbs. Though I made a good show of being 'normal', there wasn't a day that went by when I wouldn't hear the slain woman's cries in the silence, and when I closed my eyes, I always saw Bella's face. Her deep chocolate eyes haunted my dreams and pierced my soul, as they begged to know why I destroyed her life.

I spent two years at the JC, then was accepted into the university where I got a degree in English even though Biology was my strongest subject, but then again, that was the old me. I spent my time in college just as I had in high school; I kept my head down and tried not to talk unless necessary. Even though my home life was worlds better than before, I just had no desire to make friends outside the Cullens.

I soon got a job as a book editor, but despite my need to completely break away from my past, I still couldn't let music go, though I switched to the piano. I wrote songs as a personal outlet, but Alice being the meddler that she was, stole a few of my songs and tried selling them to musicians. I was surprised when my first song sold, and even more surprised at the large check I got from it. I continued to write music and even dabbled in producing, and eventually had a bank account worth in the millions. I could have retired from my book editing job, but it was easy work and it kept me busy.

The Cullens all started moving out on their own, so Esme and Carlisle sold their house in the suburbs and bought a condo to be closer to work. I decided that it was time to move out on my own as well, so I bought one of the most secure condo's I could find. I tried to convince myself that I wasn't afraid anymore, but when I was alone at night, sometimes my mind would get the better of me and I'd start imagining that Aaron was trying to get in to hurt me again. But even with the security, I still hated being alone, so I stayed with Alice most of the time.

Jasper had enlisted in the military so she was alone, and like me, she absolutely hated being alone. She was abused as a child as well, but her abuse was at the hands of her mother. The state stepped in, but after being tossed around to different abusive situations, she found her way to the Cullens, who lovingly put her back together and adopted her. All of the Cullen kids came from traumatic backgrounds, so I actually fit in perfectly.

"So, I have a favor to ask you," Carlisle said to me one day after a family dinner.

"What?" I asked suspiciously. Carlisle was a good man, and usually his favors involved helping people, but the last time he asked, his form of help was scrubbing a hoarder's home clean of years old cat feces. I still can't stand to be around house cats without thinking about the rancid smell of that place.

"I need someone to volunteer at the hospital who can play music."

"For what?" I asked curiously.

"Circle time with the kids. Sing some songs, play the guitar, easy stuff."

"I don't play the guitar anymore," I told him as he smiled knowing that I would do it if he really needed me to.

"How about the ukulele?"

"Alright, tell me when and I'll be there."

I actually loved volunteering with the kids; it in no way made up for my sins of the past, but it still made me feel good in a way that I never thought was possible. Soon enough, it seemed like I was spending most of my free time working as the volunteer coordinator at the hospital, which meant that I was always busy. But being busy was good, the less time I had alone, the less time I could dwell on the things I couldn't change.

Although I wasn't healed, every day that I survived through without any violence, was one more step towards normalcy.

* * *

***I really didn't want Edward to come across like he didn't care what he did, so if it still seemed like that, then that was not my intention. He needed to build himself a new life or he'd never survive, but he still hates himself on a daily basis. Sorry if it wasn't clear. **

**Next chapter Bella reenters Edward's life, and he meets Carlie for the first time. Please Review***


	15. Playing with Fire

**Innocent Sins**

~Chapter 15 – Playing with Fire~

EPOV

My life was finally getting on track. I kept busy and I tried hard to keep my past where it belonged…in the past, but I knew for a fact that someday, everything would come crumbling down. Karma would catch up with me and make me pay for what I did, it wasn't a question of 'if', it was 'when'.

Even though I was very busy all the time, Alice still insisted that I needed to find some sort of love life, which was utterly ridiculous. The idea of being in a romantic relationship was completely out of my realm of possibilities that I'd never even hope for something like that. I was fine being alone in that way, and I didn't even desire a physical relationship. Alice asked me a few times if I was gay, which I responded to with a quick 'no', but the truth was that I wasn't attracted to anyone; women and men were both equally unappealing to me sexually. Esme worried about that fact as well, and we spent many long therapy sessions trying to dissect my lack of interest in sex. _Was it because I was abused sexually, or that I had been forced to be an abuser? _Neither of us knew, but either way, Esme wanted to fix it.

We all took a trip to Alaska one summer to visit Carlisle's college roommate Eleazar and his family. Like Carlisle, Eleazar also adopted teens in need, and during our visit, Alice thought I'd make a good pairing with Tanya, who was adopted by them around the same time that I had joined the Cullens.

Tanya was beautiful and friendly for the most part, but like with any other woman, I had absolutely no interest. But Tanya didn't feel the same way as I did, and the following year, she moved to Seattle. She said it was because she was sick of Alaska, but I had a horrible feeling that it was to be closer to me. I tried to avoid her, but after she refused to give up, I agreed to hang out with her, but just as friends. I soon discovered that Tanya was the exact kind of woman who Aaron would have wanted to 'save' and the thought made me concerned for her safety, so I found myself agreeing to be around her more and more, though she irritated me to no end. I really hated spending time with Tanya, but I swore to myself that I'd never stand by and let anyone else get hurt again.

"So, have you and Tanya kissed yet?" Alice asked me one evening.

"No Alice, I told you, I don't have those feeling for her."

"Well good," she said unexpectedly.

"Good?"

"Ok, truth? I don't really like Tanya. But if _you_ like her…"

"I don't. But I feel like she's a walking statistic. She goes to all the wrong places, and she constantly going home with different guys all the time. I just worry that she's going to cross paths with someone a little less friendly eventually."

"Well, that would be awful, but she's an adult and you can't control her life. If she wants to go out every night, then that's her business and you can't worry about her like that."

I thought about it, and I knew Alice was right. Millions of women behaved the way Tanya did, and most would never have anything bad happen to them. I had to remind myself that what Aaron did was sick, but uncommon, and I couldn't push my own fears onto others.

It was actually a huge release to give up on my mission to protect Tanya, because it meant that I didn't have to spend any more time with her at all. All of my family was grateful that I ended my non-relationship with her as well, though they were always polite, none of them ever liked her.

I had lived for eight and a half years as a Cullen, and even though I always felt karma looming on the horizon, I thought that perhaps I had somehow managed to out run it, but I was so wrong.

It was a Monday and though I usually only worked at the hospital on Thursdays, I finished work early and made the mistake of seeing if there was anything I could help with.

"Unfortunately, we just lost one of our long term patients. All the kids are very upset, and I'm sure they could use an impromptu circle time," Carlisle said to me.

"Alright, I'll ask Siobhan to help me get the kids together." I went to the nurse's station, but I didn't see Siobhan anywhere.

"Hey Maggie, where's Siobhan?" I asked another nurse.

"Oh, we're really swamped today, I saw her running off in that direction."

"Oh, okay, thanks. Can you just tell her that I'm doing a circle time with the kids?" I asked.

"Sure thing."

I walked up to the pediatric unit and started going to all the room and asking if anyone wanted to join me for some singing. All of the long term patients knew me, so they were all excited to see me. Hugging always made me uncomfortable, but the children there had magic hugs and I couldn't get enough of them.

"Edward, is it Thursday already?" Bree asked me after squeezing me tightly.

"No sweetie, but Dr. Cullen thought you could all use some cheering up."

"Yeah, Diego died this morning."

"I know, I heard. How about you help me get some of our friends together to sing with us?"

"Okay," she said with a smile.

We managed to get about seven kids to come to the recreation room, and they all sat in a circle while I grabbed the ukulele.

"Who wants to pick the first song?" I asked and they all shot their hands up.

"Benjamin?"

"How about, '_He's Got the Whole World in His Hands'_?" he suggested.

"Uh, I don't know that one, can you pick something else?" I said, which was a lie. I absolutely hated that song and I knew I'd never be able to bring myself to sing it. Aaron used to sing it as he was coming down from his high of killing people, so I would always avoid that song at all cost.

"How about 'Puff the Magic Dragon'?" Benjamin asked.

"Perfect," I said with a smile, and started playing. What I loved the most was when the kids would sing as loud as they could with me. It was the sound of pure joy and for those brief minutes, there was absolutely nothing wrong in the world.

All of the kids got a turn picking out a song, but because they were all sick, I wasn't able to keep them for too long.

"Okay, we have time for one more song. Can we all agree on something?" I asked them.

"I know, 'Wonderful World'?" Tia said.

"No, we already did that one," Peter complained.

"Can we do 'Somewhere Over the Rainbow'?" Bree asked.

"I don't know, what do you all think?"

They all liked that song and because I had a ukulele, I decided to do the Hawaiian version, which they all loved.

When the song was over, all the kids knew it was time to go back to their rooms, so they all clapped and hugged me at the same time.

"You guys were awesome," I said to them, regretful that my time with them was already finished.

When I was saying goodbye, I was suddenly overcome with the intense scent of strawberries and hairspray, which caused me to reflexively look up. It was an entirely surreal moment, and I truly believed that I had finally snapped and gone full out crazy.

Her big deep chocolate eyes stared at me with a mix of surprise and amusement, and I completely forgot where I was. Bella Swan didn't belong in this world, she only existed in the darkness where I used to live, so I immediately knew that soon the rest of that dark place would devour the light which I was desperately clinging to. If only I could make her disappear again….

She said something, but I was too consumed with grief, and guilt, and self loathing, that I had no idea what she said. So I forced myself to focus; the faster I get away from her, the faster I could go back to building that wall around myself.

"Edward, right? We were lab partners for like a week in high school….Uh, Bella Swan," she said casually.

"Yeah, I remember," I said finally.

"Wow, I have to say, I never expected to see you again."

"I guess I could say the same," I said while looking away. Trying to remain indifferent was extremely difficult, and I wasn't sure how long I'd be able to hang on.

"So, how are you, where have you been all this time?"

"Uh, all over really."

"Bye Edward, see you next week," Bree said as she walked down the hall.

"Bye Bree, take care of yourself," I said to her before turning back to Bella. "It was nice seeing you again, but I should be going." I needed to escape before I threw myself on the ground and confessed everything.

"Oh, me too, I'm actually looking for a Mr. Cullen, do you know where he is?"

Damn it.

"Yeah, that's me," I said hesitantly.

"Your last name is Jameson?" Hearing that name out loud made me cringe. It was like a total eclipse, my old life shadowing the new, and making it impossible to see straight.

"Uh, not anymore. What do you need me for?" I said emotionlessly. I could tell that this was going to drag on for a while longer, so I did what I always used to do when things got too hard, I swallowed my emotions.

"Um, Nurse Siobhan sent me to ask you to show me around. I just got a nursing job here and everyone is too busy."

"Yeah, Ok. Follow me."

I showed her around and she asked about the Cullens, so I answered her questions vaguely. I didn't want to be rude or mean, but from the depths of my emotional prison, it was hard to tell what the tone my words were in.

"So, how's your dad?" she asked suddenly, which confused me at first.

"My dad?"

"Yeah, I met him once at the fish market. He was an acquaintance of my dad's and he introduced us."

I hadn't even thought of Aaron as being my 'dad' in years, but of course she would think of him as that.

"Oh, you mean Aaron."

"Yeah, your dad."

"Oh, I haven't seen him in a few years," I said flatly as I continued to burry myself further and further into my own personal abyss.

"You haven't seen your dad in a few _years_?" she asked incredulously.

"Yeah, we had a falling out."

"What kind of a falling out could possibly make you not speak to your father for years at a time?"

"He just did something that was…._unforgivable_. I just couldn't stay with him anymore, so I left."

I had always taken all the blame onto myself for what happened to Bella, but in that moment, I blamed _him_. I had to remove myself from that day, almost like I was watching it happen as I did with the murders. Esme had first tried to get me to do it as a way to cope; she said it wasn't my fault, that I would have never done what I did if I wasn't forced into it. I thought that was a total copout, but standing next to the girl I assaulted, I _had_ to remove myself otherwise I would have completely disappeared.

I was finally able to escape her presence, and I knew I needed to talk to Esme. I had to sort out what I was feeling and what I was trying _not _to feel, but when I got to her office, I backed out. I started thinking about the fact that Bella was actually working at the hospital, and I either needed to accept that and try to avoid her, or I needed to stay away from the hospital all together and possibly leave Seattle. If I told Esme that the girl I raped was in town, and in Carlisle's hospital, I knew she'd tell me to keep my distance, but I hated the idea of not being with the kids anymore.

I went to my condo and just laid in my bed awake all night, considering what I was capable of. I had spent the past eight years in intensive therapy and I managed to make a somewhat normal life for myself, so _could I possibly maintain the life I needed to remain in, knowing that Bella Swan was so close?_

I knew I should leave, I knew I shouldn't be anywhere near her, but I convinced myself that I was strong enough to at least avoid her. I only volunteered on Thursdays, I could avoid her for the few hours I was there, I was positive I could. I just needed to get a hold of the nursing schedule and see exactly when she's be working, and what floor she'd be stationed on.

Maybe I was playing with fire by staying, but I just wasn't ready to give up on the life that I had worked so hard to achieve. I wasn't ready to be homeless and familyless again.

I dove into work even deeper, taking on many more jobs than I ever had before. I couldn't write any music however, because every time I tried, all that came out were depressing and sometime disturbing lyrics which no one would ever want to purchase to sing. Esme tried to get me to open up about what was bothering me, but I just couldn't come clean. Thursday soon came again, and I dreaded going into the hospital but I really believed that I could avoid her. I was there for three hours without crossing paths with her in any way, so I started to relax.

I hardly ever ate in the cafeteria because the food was horrible, but I had been so scattered brained that I forgot to grab my lunch before I left home. I would have just gone to grab fast food, but I had a meeting right after and I didn't think I'd get back in time. I bought the mystery meat, and went to the far corner of the room to sit at a table alone.

"Hey, is this seat taken?" someone asked as the sweet scent of strawberries and hairspray assaulted my senses. I looked up slowly already knowing it was her, and allowed her to sit. I started to think that perhaps this was part of my punishment. When someone is convicted of a horrid crime, often the police detectives or lawyers would force them to look at pictures of their tortured victims as retribution.

"I was starting to think that we weren't going to run into each other again," she said with a friendly heart-stopping smile.

"I'm only here on Thursdays, unless there's a specific event planned," I told her dryly.

She kept asking me a bunch of mundane questions, and as I responded to all of them with short mechanical answers, a thought occurred to me. She obviously had no idea that I was her worst nightmare, so perhaps the seemingly coincidental unhappy reunion, could give me a chance to finally know that I hadn't ruined her entire life.

"So, how have you been? You planned to go to Washington State or something like that, right?" I asked her with the hopes that she was still able to achieve her goals.

"Uh, yeah, it didn't really work out. But I've been lucky mostly."

"Really?" I asked surprised, "why?" I would have never expected her to call herself 'lucky' after being attacked the way she had.

"Uh, my life hasn't exactly turned out as planned, but I wouldn't change anything."

She was a complete enigma, and if I wasn't such a disgusting monster, I might have even been fascinated by her. Anyone else who experienced what happened to her, would have been permanently huddled in a ball in the corner of a dark room somewhere. But Bella was strong, just like I always knew she was, and she was out living her life, not letting a bastard like me ruin her spirit.

"What? Do I have something on my face?" she asked, and then I realized that I had been staring at her.

"No. You're just different than how I expected," I said honestly.

"How so?"

"I don't know, just different."

"Well, you're different as well."

"Huh? Oh, yeah well, my hair is shorter."

"No, it's more than that. You just seem so much more relaxed. You're not so fidgety anymore and I haven't heard you hum yet," she said with a smirk. I was surprised by her vastly wrong analysis of me; I was far from relaxed. I had a more relaxing life, but I would have rather been back in the hell hatch then be talking to her in that moment.

"No, I haven't hummed that song since that day when we both agreed to stop," I said, and I couldn't help but smile at the memory. She smelled like my mom and then she started humming her song. It drove me crazy back then because all I wanted to do was lay my head in her lap and ask her to rub my head the way my mother always did.

"That's too bad," she said.

"Why?" I asked curiously.

"It was a strange choice of song, but…it was nice."

"I think you could classify most of the things I did back then as strange."

"At least you can admit it," she said with a smile.

"Of course I admit it, I knew I was strange back then, just like I know that I'm strange now. I've accepted it, and now I've moved on." I really didn't know what the hell I was talking about, but I just let go for a few brief moments and allowed myself to forget all the shit in the world. Just a few brief moments to have a normal conversation with a normal girl, as if I was nothing more than a normal guy.

"I think its good being strange, normal is boring." She said which made me laugh a little, considering how 'normal' I was pretending the conversation was.

"That's not true. You seem pretty normal, and I can't imagine you ever being boring."

She laughed.

"What's so funny?" I asked.

"I'm the epitome of boring, trust me."

"I doubt that," I said seriously.

"Oh, look. My lunch break is over and I didn't even eat anything."

"I need to be going too, but it was good to talk to you," I said and was surprised at how honest the words were. Decades of therapy would never do for me what one simple conversation was able to. I would never lose the guilt I felt, but knowing she was okay was like finally being able to breathe in a world that I hadn't realized I was drowning in.

I actually spent the rest of the week in good spirits. There had been times when I wondered if it would have been better to just let Aro kill Bella, instead of forcing her to live in the torture of what I did for the rest of her life, but after our little talk, I was so grateful she was alive. It was almost like the world would have been different without her in some way. I wished more than anything that I could have found a way to save her from me as well, but she seemed happy, and I was happy for her.

When the following Thursday rolled around, I felt more relaxed at the prospect of seeing Bella again, maybe even a little hopeful. As much as I tried to fight it, I liked Bella, and I'd often catch myself thinking about her, and not always in a negative way.

I was working on a project for Carlisle in the volunteer office, when there was a knock on the door.

"Come in," I said distractedly. I was so focused on what I was doing that I didn't even notice her intoxicating scent when she came through the door. She cleared her throat so finally I looked up at her. "Bella, hey, what can I do for you?"

"Uh, well, I wanted to set up a volunteer event thingy," she said uncomfortably.

"Ok, how so?"

"Well, my daughter is a girl scout, and she needs to do so many hours of volunteering, so I thought I could have her little troop come in here and do…_something_ with the long term patients."

"You have a daughter?" I asked surprised.

"Uh, yeah," she said awkwardly.

In a way, I was happy about the news that she was a mother. Hopefully it meant that she was able to have a normal romantic relationship with someone, resulting in her having a child.

"Ok, yeah. We've had children's groups come in before and sing for the recovery floor, or even do art time with some of the elderly. It all depends though, girl scouts are usually what, like five, six years old?" I asked assuming that she couldn't have a child any older than that.

"Well, yeah they can be. I think they start at five, but my daughter's troop are all seven and eight."

Seven or eight? It had been almost nine years since I _saw_ her last, and if her daughter was closer to the eight year range plus considering the nine months it took for gestation….._oh god_.

"You-ah…you had your daughter pretty young then, huh?" I said with faux casualness.

"Oh, yeah. She was born a few days before my eighteenth birthday."

I never considered the risk of my raping her could result in a pregnancy, but with the timing, it was highly likely that was exactly what happened. I had to hope for the possibility that she moved on with her life quickly and got pregnant soon after. Maybe her child's father was that Mike guy, they seemed close back then. Maybe…

"Um, so what do you think?" she asked me.

"Huh?" I said confused. I had completely forgotten what we were talking about as I contemplated the possibility of the worst act of my life resulted in creating life.

"About my daughter's girl scout troop coming to volunteer?" she said slowly.

"Oh, right, I'll have to look over the schedule and get back to you on that one." I closed up what I was doing and I just left. I needed to get away because what little relief I felt before from thinking she was okay, was rapidly dwindling.

She couldn't have gotten pregnant from what I did to her…except she could have. There was no reason why not. I definitely didn't have protection, and the thought of 'protection' was so sickly ironic that I actually got sick from thinking about it.

I walked through the rest of the day in a daze. I had been on such an emotional rollercoaster over the past few weeks, that I was just physically exhausted. I went to my condo because I just didn't want to be around anyone at that point, and I obsessed about Bella. I spent two weeks alone, obsessing and self loathing, but then I just couldn't take the relentless phone calls anymore, so I eventually answered it.

"Where the hell have you been?"

"Sorry Alice, I was just busy," I lied.

"I went to your condo and the doorman refused to let me up."

"That's because I told him that I didn't want any visitors. I texted Carlisle already and told him that I'm fine. I just needed a break."

"You just said you were busy, and now you're saying that you needed a break?"

"Yes, I was busy taking a break," I said irritated. I loved Alice, but she could be far too intrusive at times.

"Well, Esme is going to get really worried if you miss another family dinner."

"Okay, I'll see you then," I said and hung up the phone. I really didn't want to come out of the hole I buried myself in, but Alice was right, Esme would start to worry soon. Even if I didn't deserve normalcy, the Cullens had invested so much time and emotions in me, that I knew I couldn't let them down.

I went back to work and tried to get back on track. I had no way of knowing if Bella's daughter was mine or not, I could only hope that she wasn't. Bella deserved so much better then have to spend her life raising the child of the monster who raped her.

I was on my way to meet some musicians about a rewrite of one of my songs, when I got a text from Alice asking me to pick her up at the hospital. She had taken over for me as the volunteer coordinator, so she had spent the afternoon organizing some sort of function but she didn't have her car and was ready to be picked up.

When I got to the hospital, Siobhan said that Alice was on the rehabilitation floor, so I went up there and I was stunned at how noisy the floor was. There were little girls running around everywhere, and as I tried to navigate through them, one ran right into me.

"Sorry," she said in a sweetly rushed way, and then she ran around me and into a room. When I saw Bella there looking embarrassed, I realized exactly what I had just walked into. It was her daughter's volunteer night.

"Alice gave them all candy," Bella said quickly, trying to give a reason for her daughter's energetic behavior. "How are you? I wasn't expecting to see you here anymore."

"Uh, yeah. I didn't know you were here tonight."

"So, what are you doing here?" she asked me casually.

"Uh…I came because Alice texted me saying she needed a ride home. Was that your daughter?"

"Yeah, sorry about that."

"Hey Edward," Alice said as she walked by.

"Alice, what are you doing?" I asked irritated.

"Oh, you're early."

"No, I'm not. You said I needed to pick you up right away and I had to hurry."

"Oh texting can be so confusing, that's why I hate technology," Alice said and then smirked before walking away.

"So, hey, I'm glad you're here. I gave Dr. Cullen my number to give to you, but I didn't really think you'd call me…." She paused. "I was just thinking that we could get together for lunch sometime…." Another pause. "Or maybe we could get coffee, or something?"

"Uh…" _was she seriously asking me out?_

"Mom, guess what," the girl who had bumped into me said as she came up behind me.

"What?" Bella asked…and everything else became a blur.

I looked at Bella's daughter and felt completely numb. I could tell myself that the girl could have a real father somewhere out there, if I ignored the fact that she had my mouth and chin and all around face shape. I could continue to hope that she didn't share my DNA if I ignored the fact that her hair was the exact shade of my mothers and her eyes had swirls of the Masen green in them…..except I couldn't ignore those facts, I knew she was mine.

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***Quick question: do you like the story retold through Edward's POV, or should I skip the rest and just finish up the story? I really like exploring Edward's thoughts and feelings, but if it's getting boring, I'd really like to know. Please, please give me some feedback. If you still like Edward's version, then their first 'sleepover' and the baseball game is next….Thanks ;)**


	16. One Day

**Innocent Sins**

A/N: Thanks for everyone's opinion on the EPOVs. As soon as we skip forward and return to E, B, and C in the barn hatch, the story will only have a few chapters left, so I decided to go with a couple more EPOV chapters (plus, I really want to read why Edward decided to have a real romantic relationship with Bella, don't you?). This isn't Midnight Sun, so I'm not going to elaborate on everything because we already know the story, but I want it to flow, so there may be some unnecessary ramblings but I'll try to get through them quickly so we can return to the climax of the story. I got like three BPOV chapters into this one, so hopefully I didn't leave anything out. Thanks again.

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~Chapter 16 – _One Day_~

EPOV

I didn't have time to think, I was already running late for my meeting, and if I just kept moving, perhaps I could keep Bella's daughter out of my mind. Bella left to go attend the rambunctious girls, so I took that opportunity to leave.

"Alice, I have a meeting, I can't stay here and wait for you," I told her quickly.

You have a meeting this late?" she asked skeptically.

"Yes Alice, they're musicians, they don't hold normal office hours," I said, and then left.

I went to my meeting and tried to concentrate on what was being said, but it was difficult to say the least. I loved kids, but I never considered the possibility of ever fathering one. The world was far too fucked up then to actually choose to bring new life into it. But the fact that one of those fucked up situations that I was responsible for, resulted in a child being born, was intolerable.

When my meeting was over, I planned to go back to my condo and just bury myself alive again, but then I decided to stop by Alice's first; I didn't want her relentless phone calls all night.

"Hey, I was hoping you'd come here for the night," Alice said with a huge grin as I walked into her apartment.

"Ok, so what the hell was that about?" I asked her.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," she said guiltily.

"Oh, come on Alice. You tried to get me to go to the hospital early, so why don't you just tell me why." Alice always seemed to have a sixth sense at times, _did she somehow know about Bella's daughter being mine and wanted me to see her, or was it just coincidental meddling?_

"I just wanted you to see Bella. I heard her mention your name, and I know she really likes you, so I thought I'd help out."

"Help out? Alice, I told you, I have no desire to be in that type of relationship."

"What? I just think that she'd be a good match for you."

"Alice, you have no idea what you're talking about, and you really need to stop meddling in my business all the time." The idea of my victim being a 'good match' for me was disgustingly sick. I admit that I liked Bella, and maybe in a perfect world where I managed to stay with my parents and never hurt her in that way, I would have been attracted to Bella. I would have asked her out and been completely infatuated with her. I would have asked her to marry me after one date and I'd spend the rest of my life trying to insure her happiness. But that kind of life didn't exist for me, and I'd never experience the amazement of Bella's prolonged company.

"You're my brother, and I just want what's best for you."

"It's not up to you to decide what's best for me."

"Ok, I know. But I need you to do me a favor," she said becoming quieter.

"What?" I asked suspiciously.

"I have to run out for a little bit, and I need you to keep her company. I took her in circles when I was telling her how to get here, so I'm pretty sure she has no idea how to leave," Alice said quickly.

"What are you talking about?" I asked annoyed. She talked so fast sometimes, that understanding her was completely above me.

"Thanks, you're the best," she said and ran out the door. I didn't agree to anything, and I had no idea where she went or how long she'd be gone for, but then I noticed the strange disarray the apartment was in. Alice was the cleanest person I knew, but there was popcorn all over the coffee table so I decided to just pick up a bit. Something made me look up, and when I did, I jumped

"Oh _shit_."

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you," Bella said as she stood in front of me.

"What the hell are you doing here?" I asked irritated. Alice had sunk to a new low by arranging this, but I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't a tad bit happy to see her. I knew I should stay away, but I wanted to get to know her better, I needed to know about her daughter and if they were really okay.

"Alice kidnapped me." I couldn't help but get lost in the way her eyes lit up when she talked. It was obvious that she was still a guarded person, but the longer I spent with her, the more I realized that she was the strongest person I had ever met.

Alice conned us into spending the night together, and I actually found myself enjoying the fact that she had moved in her sleep so that she was laying on me. I smelled her hair as she slept and listened to the sound of her heavy breathing. And she talked in her sleep too. She mostly mumbled incoherently, but every once in awhile, she'd actually say my name; which was horrifying and amazing at the same time. I could feel it happening, and I knew that I'd never survive it. I was falling in love with her, or perhaps I fell in love with her that day in biology and was just realizing it.

I fought the feelings at first, because I didn't deserve being in love with her, but then I realized that was exactly what I deserved. It was fair that I'd only ever love the girl I hurt the most, and I needed to live in the torture of never being able to actually be with her. I needed to know that she had my child and I'd never get to be part of her life. I needed to feel the agony of not being with the two people who were actually the most important in my life. I thought about my 'real' family so many times over the years, but I didn't realize that it wasn't my parents that I really missed. Without even knowing it, Bella and her daughter had become everything to me, and they'd never learn the truth, and I'd never be at home with them.

Bella woke up the next morning, and I didn't want to seem creepy about the fact that I had watched her all night, so I faked sleep and pretended to be surprised that she was still there. I had such a mix of emotions with her, and I didn't understand any of them. I knew I loved her, but I hated being around her and I hated the world for bringing us back together again. I was angry with Alice, but thankful at the same time.

Bella eventually left and I decided that I was okay with the time I spent with her, but it was over and I needed to move on. A month past and though I went back to normal outwardly, I still thought about Bella every day. I thought about our daughter and daydreamed about the idea of the three of us being together in a parallel universe somewhere, a place where there was no pain, and not violence, just a perfect existence. I thought about my parents too. Did they think I was dead? Could they possibly even fathom the fact that they were technically grandparents. I was an only child, born from parents who were both only children, so I'm sure they thought the bloodline died with me.

I never wanted to go home to see my parents more than I did after learning about Carlie, but I couldn't, and never would.

….

Tanya showed up at my work one day and asked me to a baseball game. And though that was the last thing I wanted to do, Alice threatened me until I agreed. Alice didn't like Tanya, but I knew she just wanted me to do something outside of work.

Tanya's voice was like nails on a chalkboard, and even though I wasn't a huge fan of baseball, I was anxious to get there just to have my attention diverted from her as much as possible. But I soon realized why Alice was so insistent on me going to the game, it was because Bella was there, and she brought Carlie.

As much as I knew I should have left, I just couldn't. Carlie's little voice was like music, and the fact that something so beautiful came from such horridness, was a pure miracle. I hated myself so much, that I really thought I was incapable of producing anything other than a monster, but Carlie was the very essence of everything good in the world. But then I could feel the paranoia set in. Carlie was a little girl completely innocent to the world, what would happen when she grew up? Would the world continue to be kind to her, or would she suffer the way her mother had. I wanted to protect her, I wanted to protect Bella, I just didn't know how.

Bella was taking Carlie to the concession stand, and all I could think of was the hundreds of uncontrollable drunken men they'd likely pass on the way.

"Hold up, I'll go with you," I said to them and hurried to catch up. I looked at everyone as a potential threat to my little family that I wished I could claim, and I stayed close to them, just in case. I thought again about what Alice had said when I took it upon myself to protect Tanya, but this was different, it was my job to protect Bella and Carlie. As horrible as it was, I was responsible for them and I'd be damned if I failed.

Carlie asked me a bunch of questions, and even though it made me uncomfortable from her closeness, I absolutely loved every minute of it. She was smart and outgoing, and she was so excited about life, that it was hard to not be excited with her.

After we got our food, Bella started asking me why I seemed to be avoiding her, and I told her we shouldn't be friends, which she responded to by asking me if I was a monster. It was supposed to be a joke, and I knew that, but she had no idea how accurate she was.

The crowd erupted in cheers, and reflexively, Bella and I looked towards them. We only looked away for a moment, but that's as long as it took…Carlie disappeared.

I immediately thought the worst and started to panic. I knew how easily kids could vanish and never be seen from again, I lived through it, but I would not allow it to happen to Carlie. I wouldn't hesitate to rip apart everyone there until I found _my _little girl. She was only gone for a minute, but after we found her, I realized that I'd never be the same again.

I needed time to think about what I should do. I loved Bella, but I couldn't really be with her, I wanted a relationship with Carlie, but I couldn't be her father…I was so confused.

Carlie asked me to go to the zoo with them, and I agreed way too quickly. I anxiously waited for the following Saturday to arrive, and tried to convince myself that it was wrong of me to allow that kind of contact with them. I couldn't help the other times we met, Alice had pushed those on us, but I agreed to spend the day with them all on my own, and I wasn't sure what that meant.

Like the conversation I had with Bella in the hospital cafeteria, I allowed myself to let go of the past, just for one day. I needed that day with them, as much as I needed air to breathe. I needed to laugh with them and pretend that everything was ok. I need to give my daughter a piggy back ride through the zoo and buy her anything she wanted. Just a day, and then I'd leave them alone and hope they'd forget about me.

Since my _one day_ wasn't over yet, I accepted Carlie's offer to have dinner at their place, and I reveled in the fact that she excitedly showed me her room and made me play dolls with her. I just soaked up every minute with my daughter and her amazing mother, and knew that it had to be the best day of my life. I'd take that day with me everywhere I went from then on, and anytime I'd get down or even start to wrongfully feel sorry for myself, I'd think about how good I had it once. I'd happily dance in hell when my time comes, because every pain was worth the eternal joy of that _one day._

Before I left, Bella told me that she was looking to move out of her apartment, and the idea scared the shit out of me. I hated the idea of Bella finding someplace that she could just afford, because it was unlikely that it would be anywhere as safe as I needed them to be. So I convinced her to move into my condo. I changed everything to be more kid friendly and I bought anything and everything for Carlie's room that I thought she'd enjoy. And then I tried to leave them alone.

A few weeks past, and every day that went by where I didn't see them was utter torture, but again, it's what I deserved.

Alice called me one day, and said that there was some kind of problem and Bella needed someone to pick Carlie up from school. I knew that Alice could easily pick her up herself, but I didn't argue because the idea of seeing her again was too irresistible. I thought that the zoo was the best day, but I was wrong because the day I picked Carlie up from school, had to be the most pivotal day of my life.

We spent the afternoon together, just her and I, and it was amazing. We did homework and watched disturbing Disney movies, but when she fell asleep on my lap, I knew I somehow managed to find heaven….but the evening only got better.

Bella came home finally, and we put Carlie to bed and just talked for a while. It happened so fast that I didn't even remember the moment her lips touched mine. I never felt a more amazing feeling then having Bella's mouth on mine, to taste her tongue in my mouth, to feel her body molded to me. I wanted her, I wanted all of her, and I never had to fight so hard on anything as I did to remove myself from her. It was wrong on so many levels, and as I stood outside the elevator to leave, I lost that battle.

"I really don't know what the hell I'm doing anymore," I said after knocking on her door again.

"Come here," she said quietly and pulled me back into her. Somehow we ended up in her bedroom and our clothes were on the floor.

"I don't want to hurt you," I whispered truer than anything I had ever said before.

"Then don't leave me," she whispered back, and I knew that I never would again under my own will.

"I don't ever want to leave you," I said while laying her back and removing her panties. I pushed into her slowly, and felt like I had completely entered a whole new world. I blocked out the memory of what it was like the last time I was inside her, but forcing a scared girl into something like that could never feel anything like what it felt like to have her arms around me, and looking deep into her eyes.

"Are you okay?" I murmured, because the last thing I ever wanted was for her to want to stop, and think I wouldn't.

She nodded so I continued to thrust into her gently. I had never really had sex before, and I had no idea what I was doing, but I found myself speeding up until I felt her tightening around me. I may have been worried about her body stiffening if I was sane, but I couldn't think straight and the tightening just made it feel even better, forcing a slight moan out of my lips. She just held onto me, and her body seemed to be asking mine for more.

There was a pain in my stomach, which erupted into an electrically charged explosion as I could feel myself coming into her.

We fell asleep in each other's arms, and I knew I'd never be able to survive again without her.

…

I never officially moved back into the condo with my girls, but I never spent a night away either. We spent every second we could together, and I'd often stop and wonder how I ever lived without them. The guilt was always there, but I learned to live with it. It was like a broken bone, the pain was always constant, but I could think around it. I had no idea how long I could keep up the charade for, but the longer we were together, the more real it felt and what I was before felt like the lie. But in the back of my mind, I always knew it couldn't last forever, I didn't deserve happiness. My one perfect day had turned into perfect months, and before I knew it, it was over.

"I was raped. Did you know that?" Bella said. She was so upset that she was actually trembling. "It happened right around the time you and your father left town….."

"Oh my god….you knew," she said quietly. "You knew this whole time that your father raped me."

"What?" I said stunned. She had been saying a lot of things, and I just let her get them all out, but the fact that she had come to the wrong conclusion, made me speak up; I knew it was time to tell her the truth.

"You knew all along that Carlie is your…_sister_. How could you do this? How could you be here with us, and make love to me knowing the truth and keeping it to yourself? Is that why you wanted me living here, with all the security downstairs? Is he going to come after me again? Is he going to come after Carlie?"

"Aaron isn't my biological father. I'm not connected to him genetically whatsoever," I said slowly.

"Wait, what are you saying to me?" she asked uncomprehendingly. "How could Carlie look so much like you if she's not your sister biologically?"

"I never wanted to hurt you," I said so quietly that I could hardly hear myself.

Bella yelled at me, and cried, and yelled some more. I loved her more than anything and all I wanted was to wrap my arms around her and make the pain go away, but I knew I never could. I crossed a line that was never meant to be crossed, and now I was going to lose everything.

"SAY SOMETHING! Say anything, I deserve that," she said frustrated.

"There's nothing I can say to make it up to you. I can't change it, I can't take it back, there's no _excuse_ that can make it right." I looked up from the ground, and looked deep in her eyes; "I'm truly sorry, but I know that will never be enough." A tear dripped down my face, so I looked away again before grabbing my coat. "But I swear, you don't have to be afraid anymore. I won't come back, I won't ever hurt you again."

It didn't matter that I was forced to do it, the damage was the same and making an excuse would have been insulting on top of everything else. Bella suffered the same as she would if I had wanted to rape her, so there was nothing left to say. I would have thrown myself at her feet and begged for forgiveness if I thought it would alleviate even an ounce of her pain, I would have killed myself right then and there is she asked me to. But nothing could make it better.

I wished I could hug Carlie one more time and tell her that I loved her, but I didn't have the right to do that. I had absolutely nothing left inside me and there was no point to going on. I started my life as Edward Masen, and then I was forced to become Jameson. After finally finding some form of normalcy I changed into a Cullen and in allowing myself to be with Bella and Carlie, I ruined that life as well. I couldn't go back after what I did, I had finally gone too far. I was at the highest point imaginable, and now the only direction to go in, was down.

I considered ending my life altogether, but death was too easy of a consequence for what I did, I needed to be tortured. I drove around for a while, and ended up at the Seattle police department. I had heard that rapist often got beaten in prison, and I could only hope to be so lucky.

"Excuse me?" I said to the man at the front desk.

"If you're here to file a complaint, the line for that is over there. If you're here to report stolen property, the line is over there and if you're here about an automobile accident, the line for that is in the far corner."

"Uh, no. I'm here to turn myself in," I said emotionlessly.

"For what? Did you steal something?"

"No, I raped a girl." I said flatly and waited as the man gawked at me, stunned.

"Uh, this isn't a joke. Rape is a serious crime."

"I'm not joking."

"Okay, do you have a lawyer?"

"I don't need a lawyer. I'm guilty and I'm confessing."

"Uh…yo Black, can you help me out a minute?"

"Sure, what's up? What are you doing here?" Black said as he saw me.

Jacob was Bella's friend. I met him a few times since we started dating, but we never got along because I knew he had a thing for Bella. He didn't like me because she chose me over him, and I didn't like him because he wanted my girlfriend. But looking back on it, I always knew he was the better man, and perhaps that was a major reason why I resented him.

"You know this guy?" the first guy asked Black.

"Yeah, what's going on?"

"He's turning himself in for rape."

"What?" Black said shocked. "What the hell's going on, Cullen?"

"He just told you what's going on. I raped a girl, and now I'm turning myself in."

"Wha…When…ok, just start from the beginning?" Black said confused.

"Almost nine years ago in Forks. A girl in a rusty old Chevy which broke down right around the corner from her house."

"What the hell? That's not funny Cullen."

"Call Forks PD, I'm sure they can verify it."

It was obvious that Jacob didn't even know that Bella had been raped, and I'm sure that since Charlie was the police chief, he was able to keep it under wraps. I didn't mean to give away Bella's secret, but I needed to make these guys take me seriously.

Jacob left to make a phone call, and then he walked back to me with his eyes blazing. He pulled out some handcuffs, but before he put them on me, he punched me hard in the jaw. He was a strong guy, but I had been beaten with a mallet before, so his punch didn't affect me any more than a bloody lip. He read me my rights, and then brought me back to a holding cell to await further sentencing.

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***Yeesh, that was a doozy. The next chapter should finally catch us up to where the BPOV left off. I hope I didn't miss anything too important so far. Please Review***


	17. The Entire World

**Innocent Sins**

A/N: FYI, I'm not a lawyer, or a cop, so I have no idea what I'm talking about when it comes to all the legal stuff. I could have spent a few extra days researching it, but I'd rather just get this out there because it's really not that important. Please don't yell at me in the reviews if I'm wrong about any of that, because it's _fiction_. Thanks ;)

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~Chapter 17 – _The Entire World_~

EPOV

I sat in the holding cell for two days before they moved me to something more long term at the county prison. I was fingerprinted, and they took samples of my DNA to cross examine it with other rape cases in the area. Even though I didn't want a lawyer, they had a public defender assigned to my case, just to keep me informed of everything that was happening. Prison wasn't actually much different than high school. There were the bullies, and the gossip hounds, and then there were those who did nothing but flirt all day. And like high school, I kept my head down and tried to be as separated from everyone else as possible.

"Yo Cullen, you have a visitor," the guard said to me as I was spending alone time in my cell.

"Okay, thanks," I said quietly, and followed him to the visiting area.

"You know Cullen, you're my favorite prisoner; you're always so polite."

"Uh, thanks."

I already knew it was my public defender, because no one else even knew I was there.

"Ah, Edward, it's good to see you again," my defender Garrett Nomadston said.

"Yeah, you too," I said sarcastically.

"Look, the state is having a hard time finding your birth certificate. We have what appears to be two different forged aliases for you, but there's no legitimate documents anywhere. The Cullen documents are pretty well done, but the Jameson ones are just awful. How the hell did you get away with those IDs for so many years?"

"I don't know. No one really ever questioned them," I said emotionlessly.

"Look, we need to know what your birth name was. We ran your fingerprints but didn't find anything at all. Can you at least tell me how long you went by the name Jameson?"

I shook my head no. In truth, I remembered that I was eight when I was taken, and I knew it had been almost nine years since I was a junior in high school, but I couldn't be sure that I was really seventeen when I was pretending to be. I went years without ever going to school, or even looking at a calendar; five years could have passed, or one, and I would have never known the difference. I could have been anywhere between twenty three and thirty. At eight, I didn't know what year I was born in, so I couldn't figure it out that way either, but I vaguely remembered that my birthday was in the summer, though I could have been wrong about that too.

"And I'm assuming that you have no idea what your birth name was?"

I shrugged.

"Ok, well since you're going to be in here for a while, you need to have someone take responsibility for your finances. You're not a legal citizen, so technically the state can seize your entire estate."

"Wait…like everything?" I said worriedly.

"Well yeah. There's no such person as Edward Cullen, so unless you move all your capital to a legal account, then the government will take it after the trial."

"Can I move it to someone else's account without their involvement?"

"No. They have to sign for it."

"Look, I doubt this person would see me, but I need her to get the money."

"What's your relationship to her?"

"She's my daughter's mother."

"Well, I have to look into it some more. If the name Edward Cullen is on the kid's birth certificate then maybe we can move it before….."

"My name isn't on her birth certificate."

"Edward, I really don't know how to help you here."

"I just need to make sure that my daughter and her mother are taken care of. I have a lot of money, and they just need to get it," I told him.

"Well then I suggest you use some of that money and hire yourself a real lawyer."

"Maybe you're right," I agreed.

I asked Garrett to look into a lawyer for me, which he agreed to, so I wasn't surprised when I had another visitor the next day…but it wasn't a lawyer.

"How are you doing, son?" Carlisle said as the guard brought me to the table.

"What are you doing here?" I asked confused.

"Well, Liam called me and said he was approached to represent you," he explained. Liam O'Malley was Carlisle's lawyer for years, and the two were actually close friends. I should have known that seeking out a lawyer in Seattle when there was a lot of money involved, would have gone back to him, he was absolutely best. "What's going on Edward?"

"Nothing is going on, I'm in prison and I need a lawyer to represent me so the state doesn't take all my money."

"Edward, they said you were arrested for rape. Now I know you, and I know what you've done, but what I know more than anything is that you would never rape anyone. Liam said you're not even trying to clear your name?"

"I'm guilty, so there's no reason to fight it, and you know damn well that I'm capable of raping someone."

"No, what I know is that you were a kid who was forced to do something against your will, you were a victim too. But I don't understand _this_, you were doing so well. You and Bella seemed happy, you were making plans for the future, what changed?"

"I lied to her. I betrayed her trust and now I'm paying for it."

"Who, Bella? Edward, please just tell me what's going on."

I didn't want the Cullens to know I was in jail, I didn't want anyone to know. Maybe it was because I just didn't want them disappointed, and I sure as hell didn't want any visitors. But since Carlisle found out anyway, I decided to tell him.

"It was Bella. The girl I raped when I was in high school, it was her," I said slowly.

Carlisle looked at me stunned for a minute. "But you loved her, and never told her the truth?" he assumed.

"I didn't mean for it to happen; I just wanted to see her and know that she was okay. And then I found out about Carlie and I just got in too deep."

He nodded his head in understanding. "Carlie's your daughter," he said. It wasn't a question, it was more of a realization. "As…_shocking_ as all this is, I have to say that I'm more surprised that I never realized it before. But now that I think about it, Carlie looks just like you."

"Yeah, I noticed it the first time I saw her, and I'm really shocked that Bella and her father never picked up on it."

"Sometimes it's hard to see the obvious."

"I guess."

"So, Bella found out somehow and had you arrested?"

"Bella figured it out, and then I turned myself in."

"Did you tell her _everything_?"

"I'm not going to make excuses for it, Carlisle. I did it, and she deserves justice for what she went through."

"You're right, she does deserve justice; that's why you need to tell the police about Aaron. He could be out there somewhere still hurting people, he needs to be taken off the streets."

"They won't find him." I said hopelessly. "And I don't even think Aaron Jameson was his real name."

"At least give them a description. Tell them that there's a man out there that's doing these horrible crimes. Give those women's families some peace."

"Alright, you're right. But this has to be done quietly. If he knows that I've talked to the police about him, he'll go after Bella and Carlie, hell, he'll even go after all of you."

"All you have to do is tell them what you know. They don't have to go to the media about this, they will keep it quiet if you tell them it's necessary. I'm going to have Liam come here, and sit in with you when you tell them everything. That way, he can make them legally comply and make it a sealed testimony."

I absolutely hated the idea of talking about Aaron to the police. If he were to find out somehow, then I knew he'd go after my family, and I wouldn't be there to protect them. But Carlisle was right about the women he murdered, their families needed to know what happened to them, but more importantly, if there was even the smallest chance that Aaron could eventually get caught, then the lives of his future victims would be spared.

Carlisle left and planned to be back the next day with his lawyer, but I wouldn't be there the next day. That evening I was transferred to the Clallam Bay Corrections Center, which was the closest prison to Forks. They said that since the crime happened in Clallam County, that I needed to be held there.

I tried to keep to myself like I had at the last prison, but the people there weren't as obliging.

"Hey there pretty boy, why don't you come here and talk to us for a moment," a man yelled from the other side of the yard. I just went and hid in a crowd of other guys and continued to keep my head down. Prison actually wouldn't have been too bad if I was allowed to just stay in my cell the whole time, but going outside was hell.

"Get up Cullen, you have a visitor," the guard said. I really missed the guard in Seattle, he was always nice and talkative. The guard here didn't give a crap about anyone, not that prisoners really deserved anyone caring about them.

I figured it was Carlisle and Liam, they must have been informed of my transfer, but I wasn't taken to a normal visiting area. When I saw Charlie standing in the small room glaring at me like I was the worst scum of the universe, I knew it wasn't going to be a pleasant encounter.

"How dare you?" Charlie said full of hate. I always liked Charlie, he was a quiet man but he loved his daughter with a fierceness, but then again, I couldn't imagine anyone not loving Bella.

"I welcomed you into my home, and sat with you watching baseball, and trusted you with my daughter and granddaughter, and all along, you were the bastard who hurt her the most."

I really had no idea what to say. I knew that even an apology at that time would have been insulting, but just staring at him silently was bad too.

"Is she okay?" I asked quietly.

"You don't get to ask about her," he said viciously.

"I just need you to do a favor for me, I need you to tell Bella…"

"DON'T YOU EVER SAY HER NAME AGAIN!" He yelled, and then he snapped.

I was going to ask him to tell Bella that Liam was going to get in contact her, and needed to get her account information so my estate could be transferred into her name, but I didn't have the chance to get the words out. As I laid there and let Charlie pound my face, I realized how grateful I was that Bella and Carlie had him. I knew for a fact that if anyone ever hurt Carlie the way I did Bella, I wouldn't hesitate to kill him, but Charlie was a better man than me, and eventually he stopped.

"He aint worth it, Charlie," I heard another officer say, though the ringing in my ears was so loud that the voices sounded muffled. Charlie said some other hateful things, I only wished I was coherent enough to hear them. Being beaten was nothing new for me, it was almost a form of relief in a way, because in those minutes that it lasted for, I didn't have to hate myself so much. It was easier to be punished by someone else than to be constantly repulsed by my very existence. After a beating was over, I could always get away from the person who did it, even if it was only on the other side of the room, but I could never escape from myself.

Charlie left, and I was brought back to my cell.

"Damn man, did Felix finally get to you?" my cell mate asked, and of course, I didn't respond.

Two days past before Carlisle and Liam were able to meet with me.

"My god, what happened to you?" Carlisle said horrified.

"Nothing, I'm fine," I said quickly.

"Did a guard do that, or an inmate?" Liam asked me.

"It doesn't matter. What's going on with the statement about Aaron?"

"I've arranged for a sit down with the county police commissioner, but he can't meet with you right away," Liam said.

"Edward, did anyone look at your face? It looks like its getting infected." Carlisle scooted his chair closer to mine and started examining the gashes on my cheeks and chin.

"I'm fine," I said again.

"No, you're not, you're burning up," Carlisle said and then he went and started yelling at the guards. I was taken to the prison hospital and was kept there overnight while I received a heavy dose of antibiotics. Liam wanted me to press charges, even though I never mentioned who did it, but I would never be upset with Charlie over something like that, it was perfectly understandable.

Everything in the legal system seemed to take forever. Another week passed before the commissioner finally got around to meeting with me.

"So, you're saying that this guy murdered countless women from all over the country, but you don't know where each was killed specifically, and you can't identify any of them?" The Commissioner said frustrated. He had a book out which contained hundreds of photos of missing women over the past fifteen years, but I couldn't remember any of the women's faces. I tried to not look at them, and the one's I did see, I quickly tried to block out of my memory.

"I know of one," I said quietly. I would always remember her, but since the day I raped Bella, whenever I thought about Elena, I always saw Bella's face where hers was. I'd close my eyes and see Aaron pointing the gun, and Bella would look at him terrified and scream knowing her life was about to end. Then he'd grab me and step over Bella's lifeless body on the blood covered floor. That's the way I remembered it, and I wasn't even sure what Elena really looked like anymore, but I knew her name and I knew where she was murdered.

"Elena, she was seventeen and murdered in Chicago. I think her boyfriend was killed as well. It had to be like eighteen years ago or so."

"And you saw the murder?"

"Yeah," I said dryly.

"And what were you doing when the murder was taking place?"

I shrugged, "covering my eyes."

"But you just said you saw it?" the commissioner asked suspiciously.

"I saw him with the gun pointed at her face, I turned away and heard the gun go off, I turned back and the girl was dead."

"So, you didn't actually see him pull the trigger?"

"Are you kidding me?" Carlisle asked irritated.

"No, in fact this whole story seems ridiculous. You raped the Forks police chief's daughter, so you are not going to get a lighter sentence for testifying about these supposed murders."

"I'm not lying. There's a barn, not far from Forks. If you take Taildega road east for about ten miles, you'll come to a fork, go left and there a farm house with a barn. In the barn there's a hatch and that's where he kept the women when he wanted to torture them a bit. I'm sure you can find some blood somewhere, or some other evidence."

"Now, if he killed the girl in Chicago, why would there be blood in a barn, in the rural area by Forks?"

"He killed other girls in the Barn. He goes by the name Aaron Jameson, but I don't know what his last name was when he lived in Chicago. He worked for the house painting company who was painting the house where the girl was murdered in. Just check, I'm sure you can find something about this."

"And let's say that I do find 'something' about this Chicago case, how the hell do we know that you weren't the one who killed the girl?"

"Are you even listening to him?" Carlisle asked angrily.

"Alright, it's clear that you aren't taking my client seriously," Liam said.

"Oh no, I'm recording everything he says, I'm just stating my opinion that its bullshit."

"Okay, we're done here," Liam said, so the guard came to escort me back to my cell.

"Be strong son, we'll get you through this," Carlisle said as I walked away.

I felt bad that Carlisle was trying so hard to help me, when there wasn't anything to be done. The next two weeks went by slowly. The commissioner didn't seem like he had any plans to take what I said seriously, but at least I tried. I could only hope that the police would at least keep Aarons description on file and perhaps someday he'll get caught.

"Get up," a guard said as I was reading in my cell one evening. I thought it was strange because it was past any visiting and recreation time, and dinner had been over for hours.

"Where are we going?" I asked him.

"To be honest with you, I don't know." He put me in handcuffs and then I realized that the guy was leading me to the parking lot. He had a bag of stuff that appeared to be my personal belongings, which I thought was very odd. The further we drove away from the prison, the more I realized that we were headed into Forks. I watched the familiar streets and landmarks go by, and wished more than anything that I would have been strong enough to go to the police back when I lived there. Bella didn't have to be hurt, perhaps I would have still been in prison for being an accomplice to murder, but Bella would have been okay. But then I realized that Carlie would have never been born, and as much as I hated what happened, I knew the world was a better place with that beautiful little girl in it. It was a lose-lose situation.

We pulled up to the Forks police station, and that's when I realized that the guard who brought me there, was actually a Forks officer, which was also very strange. He pulled me out of the car, and grabbed my belongings before leading me inside.

And then I saw the most beautiful face on the planet. For a brief second, I saw her as _my Bella_ again, the one I never had a right to claim, but did anyway. For a brief second we were just a couple again and visiting her dad at his work as we had done a few times in the past. But when that brief second was over, I immediately looked away. She wasn't mine and I knew I'd just hurt her more by keeping my eyes on her. I looked at Charlie questionably, because I was extremely confused as to what was going on, but then my heart dropped when I saw Aaron.

I wanted to grab Bella and run with her as far away from that bastard as possible. I wanted to shield her from him, but more than anything, I wanted to rip his fucking head off. I didn't know why he was there, but I sure as hell didn't want him breathing the same air as Bella.

"My dear boy, oh how relieved I am to know you're safe. You have no idea how worried I've been for the past eight years."

"What's going on?" I asked quietly.

"Oh, just a trade," Aaron told me casually. "I took their beautiful Carlie, and they are releasing you to me if they ever want to see her again."

I stopped breathing.

The only thing worse than that sick monster being anywhere near Bella, was that sick monster hiding Carlie somewhere. It was the worst thing I could possibly imagine, and my desire to kill him just grew tenfold. I never hated him more than I did in that moment and I never thought I'd lose my sanity more than I did then. I knew that I'd get as much enjoyment out of killing him, as he did from killing those women, but killing him right then, would only hurt Carlie because I had no idea where he was keeping her. I didn't know how he found out I was in prison, but that detail didn't matter, all that mattered was that I played along so he would take me to my daughter.

"Fine. You have me now, so let her go," I said trying to remain calm. Aaron fed on anger, so I needed to stay as calm as possibly, though nothing had ever been so difficult.

"Here's how this is going to work. Edward and Bella will come with me, and once I have Edward secured, Bella will be released with her daughter."

"No, Aaron, that won't work. If Bella comes, then the police won't have any assurance that you'll let them go." There was no way I could let Bella come with us. As far as I knew, Aaron had never murdered anyone as young as Carlie before, but Bella was a woman and I knew he'd never let her go alive.

"I'll come," Bella said fearlessly. Of course she'd volunteer to go, Bella would do anything for Carlie, even if it meant giving up her own life. Even though Carlie lost out by having a horrible father, she definitely had the world's best mother.

We argued some more, but Aaron was relentless, so I knew I just had to figure out a way to save both Bella and Carlie. We went to a nearby bank and Aaron told me to clean out my account, but that was impossible because of the late hour. I used my four different accounts to withdraw a total of a hundred grand, and brought it back to Aaron. He wasn't the type of monster that enjoyed the finer things in life, so his goal was never getting all my money, he just needed it to travel and other living expenses.

After leaving the bank, it didn't take me long to recognize that we were going back to the barn. I never expected him to take Carlie there, I really thought he would have taken her to a location that I knew nothing about. The idea of my little girl in that disgusting hatch made me sick, and I knew how terrified she must have been. Saving her wasn't a question, I knew I wouldn't fail, but I worried about the prolonged effect the trauma would have on her. I only hoped that she was as strong as her mother and she is able to move past it.

Aaron spoke casually to me, so I tried as hard as I could to speak casually back so I didn't aggravate him. I kept looking at Bella in the mirror to make sure she was as okay as possible, but she was staying strong like I knew she would.

"Should I have a blindfold on or something?" Bella asked as we got closer to the barn.

"No, there's no need," Aaron said, which further confirmed my suspicion that he had no intention of ever letting her go.

We pulled up to the barn, and all I wanted to do was run inside and wrap Carlie safely in my arms, but I had to be careful, Aaron was insane and it was possible he had a bomb rigged somewhere, or some other crazy thing like that.

He pulled out his camera and started filming. It wasn't a video to sell to some disturbing group, it was just something to add to his own sick collection.

"Carlie?" I called to her in the darkness.

"Edward?" her little voice sounded in the darkness, and Bella and I both ran to her.

"Momma!" she cried as we came into view. There was a dim lantern down there, which gave off just enough light for us to see her. Bella wrapped her arms around her, while I untied her hands.

After hugging Bella, Carlie latched on to me tightly. It felt so good to have her back in my arms, and after thinking I'd be in prison for the rest of my life and never see her again, I cherished that hug like it was the entire world, and for me, it was.

"Everything's okay now, I love you so much and I'm not going to let him hurt you, ok?" I whispered to her and she nodded before I peeled her arms off of my neck, and nudged her back to Bella.

"Okay Aro, let them go now," I commanded.

"Oh, I never said I'd let them go _alive_," he said and backed out of the hatch before locking us inside.

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***All caught up now. Please review***


	18. Cinderella

**Innocent Sins**

**A/N:** This was done a while ago, but the site wouldn't let me update until now. IDK, hopefully it won't happen again. *fingers crossed*

**WARNING: This chapter contains some dark and disturbing scenes. Please don't read if you are very sensitive about rape. Just an FYI, Carlie will NOT be abused, so you don't have to worry about reading that level of disturbing events, and there is no more **_**new**_** rape scenes. **

**Again, I apologize in advance if anything offends anyone. Thanks.**

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~Chapter 18 – _Cinderella_~

Bella POV

"Are you okay baby, did he hurt you at all?" I asked Carlie as I checked her for any physical injuries.

"No, I'm okay. Why did that man take us here?" she asked.

I looked at Edward, and he met my stare but quickly looked away. "I don't know why, honey," I said honestly. Carlie pulled away from me, and went to go lay on Edward where he was sitting in the corner. He kissed her head and wrapped his arms around her securely. He was just so calm, that it was actually driving me insane. I hated sitting there and doing nothing, I needed to find a way out.

"What are you doing?" Edward asked me as I started combing the walls and moving the junk that was piled in the corners.

"I'm trying to find a way out."

"There isn't a way out. I've spent a lot of time locked down here, and I know for a fact that the only way out is up through the hatch door. Aaron will come back in the morning, and hopefully I can convince him to let you both go."

"It's cold in here," Carlie said, so Edward started rubbing her arms to make heat from the friction. I had such a wide range of emotions as I saw Carlie cuddling up to Edward. I knew I'd never get past what he did to me, but in a way, Carlie looked absolutely right with him. He was her father and despite everything, I knew he'd never hurt her. Aaron was crazy, and I had no idea what he had planned for us, but if there was a way to get out somehow, Edward would be the one to insure it.

"Go sit with your mom, she looks pretty cold too. You can try to keep each other warm," Edward said so Carlie sighed and then came to sit on my lap. It _was_ cold, and damp, and the thought of Edward spending a lot of time down there was absolutely horrifying, especially if he was a kid at the time.

"Here," Edward said then went to the corner where there was some more junk. He moved some of the stuff out of the way, and then pulled out a blanket.

"How did you know there was a blanket there?" Carlie asked as he covered her up and made sure I was covered as well.

"Well, I put it there," he said.

"What else is down here?" she asked him.

"I've spent a lot of time in here, and there's nothing scary," he said to Carlie, trying to make her relax a little.

"How about rats?" she asked worriedly.

"No rats, in fact, I don't think I've ever seen a spider down here before, so just try to sleep, you must be exhausted," he said with a gently voice.

"Edward, when we get out of here, will you come back home to the condo in Seattle with us?" Carlie asked him hopeful.

"I wish I could sweetie, but….Forks is a good place to live, don't you like it?"

"No, I miss _you_ and my friends. I just want to go home."

"Well, you know what; I used to live in Forks."

"You did? Did you know mommy?"

Edward hesitated for a moment, but then he seemed to come up with an answer. "Yeah, I knew her. There were a lot of nice people there, and I'm sure you'll make a lot of friends at school."

"But I've been to school there, and I don't fit in with anyone."

"You will. You're the best person I know, so I'm sure the kids are just shy or something. Just give it some more time, they'll come around."

"If we can't go back to Seattle, will you come live with us in Forks?"

"You know I would if I could, but I have somewhere _else_ I need to be."

After a while, I could feel Carlie's body start to relax as she finally drifted off, but I knew I'd never be able to sleep in that place, and I could see that Edward was wide awake as well.

"What's going to happen to us, Edward?" I asked him.

"I'm going to get you home safely, I promise."

"What does Aaron _plan_ to do to us?"

He shook his head. "I haven't seen him since…."

"Since you raped me?"

He swallowed hard. "It's been almost nine years, so I have no idea what he has planned. I know he thinks I betrayed him, so he's going to want me to repent."

"Repent?"

"Yeah, he's crazy. He thinks that everything he does is for the greater good, and he believes that it's his job to rid the world of sin."

"Why didn't you tell me the truth?" I asked him quietly.

"I've been lying for so long, it's hard to tell what's real anymore," he said emotionlessly.

"Well, try."

"The truth about what?" he asked.

"About everything. Aaron said he kidnapped you, tell me about that?"

"When did he tell you that?"

"When you were getting the money from the bank. Why didn't you ever tell me that?"

"What was I supposed to tell you; that I was kidnapped when I was a kid, that I watched as my babysitter and her boyfriend were murdered right in front of me, that I saw countless women get murdered over the years and I did absolutely nothing about it? I didn't want to tell you those things Bella, because I didn't want you to think I was a monster. For the first time that I could remember, I felt normal being with you, and I just wasn't ready to give that up."

I was quiet for a moment as I thought about what he said. I had no idea that Aaron was a serial killer, I knew he was crazy, but I couldn't imagine that Edward was witness to all that, especially at such a young age. I felt horrible for him, and terrified for my daughter. _What did a man like that have planned for us?_

"What about your parents, why didn't you go home to them when you ran away from Aaron?"

"I couldn't g back after the things I did. How could I ever look them in the eyes after that?"

"Why did you rape me, Edward?" I asked but knowing in my heart that I already knew the answer.

"What difference does it make now? I can't take it back, and I'm not going to sit here and tell you that it was the worst day of my life, because it doesn't matter."

"It matters to me," I said quietly.

Edward leaned his head back so it was resting against the wall, and I knew he wasn't going to answer me. I thought about asking him again, but maybe he was right, maybe it didn't matter. Aaron was a sick and disgusting man, and the fact that he had told me that I deserved to get raped to teach me a lesson, along with everything else Edward told me about him, I figured that Aaron at least influenced Edward to rape me. It was obvious that Edward was a victim of Aaron's too, but I still didn't know how to forgive him for what he did.

I must have fallen asleep some time later, because Carlie's movements startled me awake. I looked to the side and saw Edward sitting in the same position, still completely awake.

"How long was I sleeping for?" I asked him when he turned to look at me.

"I don't know; a few hours or so."

"Aren't you tired?"

"I don't want to be unconscious without knowing what that bastard has planned."

"Did you ever sleep when he had you down here before?"

"It depended on how long I was down here at a time for."

"How long were you usually?"

"Anywhere between a few hours, to a few days."

"How old were you…when you were kidnapped?" I asked slowly, still horrified from the thought.

"Eight," he said casually.

I put my hand over my face to try to stop myself from crying. He was the same age as Carlie, and I couldn't imagine anything worse. Know she was missing was the most scared I had ever been, but I was reunited with her after only a few hours, I had no idea what kind of pain his parents must be still feeling having no idea what happened to their child.

"So, what did he want you for….what did he do to you all the years you were growing up?"

"Bella, look. I don't want to lie to you anymore, but I really don't want to tell you everything either. He is a very disturbed man, and I really don't want to terrify you, especially while he has us locked down here."

"Edward, please. My daughter is down here and I need to know exactly what we're up against so I can protect her."

"I'll protect her, and I'll protect you too."

"You weren't honest with me before, so just respect me enough to be honest now. I'm not some scared teenager anymore, I can handle it."

"You're right," he said softly. He paused for so long, that I started to think that he wasn't going to speak again, but he did. "Well, I told you that he thought he was doing good by killing women, so he'd make me film it, and then he's sell the tapes to cults and other groups who got a kick out of killing people. He wanted me to be his apprentice; he took me so he could raise me to believe as he does, that way I can continue on when he can't do it anymore."

"But, you never believed what he said to you, or you did and that's why you did what you did to me? Did you ever…kill anyone?"

"I always remembered my parents, and I knew what was right and wrong, so I always knew he was crazy. I never believed a word he said."

I started to think about high school again, how everyone was so mean to him for being different, and even I thought he was strange. But how could he not be after being tortured the way that he was? He was just a withdrawn kid who needed to separate himself from reality in order to survive, and everyone was so mean to him. I wished I followed my instincts back then and tried to be his friend. Maybe if I was nicer to him, he would have confided in me, or I would have realized something was seriously wrong. I wanted to ask him again about the day I was raped, but every time I broached the subject, he completely closed off.

Carlie woke up soon later, so I couldn't continue to ask him any more questions anyway.

"I'm hungry," she said.

"He should bring something to eat soon. He doesn't usually withhold food for too long," Edward told her.

"Good morning, my young friends," Aaron said as the light from outside of the hatch door blinded us, as it flooded into the dark room.

"Enough is enough Aaron, let them go _now_," Edward said forcefully as he stood in front of Aaron in an aggressive stance.

"No, I've decided a new course of action," Aaron said and then pulled a gun out of his pocket and pointed it at me.

"Okay, okay," Edward said quickly with his hands outstretched in front of him. "What's the plan?" he asked placating him.

"Carlie, sweetheart, come here to grandpa," Aaron said to her in a sickly sinister pleasant tone.

"No, she's not going anywhere with you," Edward said sternly.

"Oh, Edward, I'm ashamed of you. I'd never think about hurting such a precious innocent child. But I really don't think she should be present for what comes next…Of course, if her mommy and daddy don't cooperate, I may have to regretfully take out your punishment on her." Aaron cocked the gun and repositioned it so it was pointed at Carlie, but he didn't wait for her to listen, he just walked forward and grabbed her by the arm.

"I swear to god Aaron, if you hurt her in any way…."

"You'll what? You're in no position to be making threats my boy. Carlie will be fine, but only of you do exactly as I say," he said and then dragged her up the rickety steps and then locked the door again.

"Where is he taking her?" I asked in a panic.

"I don't know, but I really don't think he'll hurt her. He thinks kids are sacred, so as long as we do as he says, she should be okay."

"Is he…sexually abusive?" I asked, but had an extremely hard time saying the words.

"No, I don't think so. He does things for the camera, but…it wasn't to any of the women. He doesn't think of girls in that way. He murders women who he thinks hasn't been virtuous, but little girls…" he shook his head.

"Was he to you?" I asked quietly.

"It was for the camera, he used it as a submissive…thing. But that's not what he was really about."

I nodded and I couldn't help the tear that fell down my cheek. I didn't know how to feel anymore; it was extremely difficult to keep hating him, knowing everything he had been though.

Aaron came back after a few minutes.

"She better not be hurt," Edward seethed.

"Relax son, I'm helping you here."

"What the hell are you talking about now?" he asked frustrated.

"After listening to your conversation last night, I've realized that this so called _rape_ thing has really come between the two of you, so, I'm going to erase it."

"How did you listen to us?" I asked afraid.

"I have cameras set up, of course. Don't you remember that I showed you a video of Carlie down here when we were at the police station?

"You're fucking delusional," Edward told him

"You'll thank me soon enough. Here, I brought you a present." He handed me a plastic bag which was tied shut with a red ribbon.

"What the hell is that?"

"It's a surprise, Edward; you know how I love surprises. Go ahead my dear, open it up."

I slowly untied the ribbon and opened the bag. Inside, I was shocked to find an old worn sneaker.

"What the hell is that?" Edward asked irritated.

"It's the shoe I lost that day," I said quietly. "I only found one and I didn't have it in me to search anymore for this one."

"What the fuck are you trying to pull?"

"Edward, be patient, or I may have to end this exercise early and that will _not _make me happy. Bella was our little Cinderella that day, she left that shoe behind, and I always knew we'd give it back to her someday. And now for your gift," he said and handed Edward a bag.

Edward squeezed his eyes shut tightly, as if he knew exactly what was inside.

"Go on son, open it up."

Edward slowly opened the back and pulled out what looked like a darkly colored cloth of some sort.

"Ah, memories. Now please, each of you put your gifts on."

"No, I'm not putting this on."

"Oh, you will if you want to see Carlie again."

I put my shoe on, and waited anxiously as Edward wrestled within himself with whatever he was holding. "What is it?" I asked.

"Put it on Edward," Aaron said forcefully.

"Bella, I'm so sorry," he whispered before putting the cloth over his head, then pulling it down onto his face. I gasped as my nightmare for so long came into fruition, it was the mask he wore when he raped me. I couldn't look at him, so I turned away and started shaking uncontrollably. It was one thing to know it was him and still see the face of the man I loved, but it was completely different to see the exact mask he wore when it happened. I still saw Edward as two people, and when he was wearing the mask, he became the monster who raped me again.

"Leave it on!" Aaron yelled, assumedly because Edward was trying to remove the mask. "Bella, I need you to open your eyes," Aaron then said in a false caring tone.

I took a deep breath and opened my eyes, but I refused to look at Edward.

"This is part of the healing process. Now, Bella, please look at this." Aaron had a small portable DVD player, which he practically shoved in my face, and then it started to play.

….

"_You will have sex with her…forcefully," Aaron said._

"_No," Edward replied sternly._

"_Oh, you will do it, because if you don't….I'll kill her."_

"_Fine, you will anyway. You've killed hundreds of girls, why would I care about this one?"_

"_Oh, you care. You care because she looks so much like…what was her name again?"_

"_I hate you,"_ Edward said aggressively.

"_Soon you'll thank me. And think of it like this; not only will you be saving her life by doing this, but you'll be saving countless others as well. I'm going to video record it, and then sell the tapes so that others can show their teen girls the dangers of being promiscuous."_

"_You're sick. Really, you need to get your head examined."_

"_I want it to be believable, and remember, if she's not scared, then it doesn't work. But more importantly, if she manages to get away, or you don't follow through with it, she's dead. I've already found buyers for this tape, so if we end up killing Miss Swan, then we'll have to keep trying until we get it right."_

…

And then he forced me to watch the actual rape. I closed my eyes but he threatened Carlie again, so I watched it. When it was over he showed Edward vomiting all over, and convulsing on the forest floor.

It was all just an elaborate insane scene that Aaron concocted to teach me a lesson. It was disgusting and if he didn't have my daughter somewhere, I would have torn him apart. But he was right about one thing, I wasn't scared anymore. I looked at Edward, and he was bent over in a way that even though he still had the mask on, I couldn't see his face. I wanted to wrap my arms around him and tell him everything was going to be okay, though I had no idea how. Even though I had already forgiven him, there was just too much damage and I knew we couldn't go back to what we used to be.

"See, my dear? All just a big misunderstanding; he didn't rape you, he was trying to save you, which is exactly what my intentions were."

The worst thing about Aaron, was the fact that he actually believed the things he was saying.

"Get over here, Edward," he said forcefully.

"No," he said with a muffled voice. He had his hands covering his masked clad face, so he was hard to understand.

"Do we have to bring Carlie down here to witness all this?"

Edward took another deep breath and stood, then walked over to us slowly. Even through the mask, I could see his eyes closed tightly and it was obvious that he was barely hanging on to sanity. Somehow he was able to hold on to reality for all the years he was with Aaron, and all that was about to come crashing down. But he needed to stay strong for Carlie, and I truly believed that was the only reason why he was able to function in that moment.

"Bella, look at Edward. The mask doesn't exist anymore, you need to see through it. Now, I want you to remove his mask."

I did what he said, and with a steady hand, I pulled the mask from Edward's head. His face was pale like he was going to be sick, and he refused to look me in the eye. He didn't even look like himself anymore, he just looked completely broken.

"Now that we've erased the rape, we need to make this union legitimate. The last thing we need is any unnecessary bastards in this world. It just so happens that I'm a holy man, so I can perform the marriage myself. I got you a dress," he said and then ran up the rickety stairs to get what looked like a white bed sheet and a rope. "Here my dear, now the groom mustn't see the bride before," he said and grabbed Edward's arm, before pulling him up the stairs.

I didn't know how we were going to get away from him, but I knew if we didn't figure out a way soon, there would be nothing left of Edward to escape with. I left my clothes on, but draped the white sheet around myself like a toga, and tied it into place with the rope. Edward was gone for ten minutes, and when he came back, he was wearing an old tattered black sport coat, and his face was covered in fresh bruises and lacerations.

"Now, we are gathered here today…." Aaron went through a whole wedding speech, but I ignored him and just stared at Edward. He looked at me when he was told to, but his eyes were completely hollow. It was different then when he used to get that glazed over look, because then it was like he was just hiding deep within himself, where as now he looked gone entirely.

"What a wonderful day, now all the sins of your past can be washed away, and you have emerged as a brand new couple. Now, since the rape was erased, you were never able to conceive your daughter, so technically, she doesn't exist anymore."

"You fucking son of a bitch, where's Carlie?" I said venomously.

"Well, perhaps you can conceive her on your honeymoon. Now, I'll leave you to that, and remember, you are being recorded, so make it extra special."

Edward had taken the beating that Aaron had just given him, but he couldn't go on anymore. Aaron trying to get us to have sex there in order to get Carlie back, was just too much for Edward and he completely lost it.

He lunged at Aaron and just started pounding on him, but Aaron wasn't about to just lay there and take it. The two started viciously fighting and I took off running up the rickety stairs and out of the barn. I was scared for Edward, because he was already so weak from being exhausted, not eating, and being just beaten, but if he were to lose the fight, then I knew Aaron would hurt Carlie as punishment for his attack, so I needed to find her.

"CARLIE!" I called to her franticly. I had no idea if she was still on the property, or if he had taken her somewhere else, I only prayed she was there somewhere, otherwise I had no idea how we would ever find her. I ran into the house, and started yelling for her again, and then I heard her calling me back from up the stairs.

The room she was in was locked and needed a key to open, so I started kicking the door until it busted open.

Inside, I was completely shocked at the condition that Carlie was forced to live in…..

* * *

***I know, I know, cliffys suck, but you all know I update quickly. I promised a HEA and we'll still get there, hopefully soon ;) Please Review.***


	19. What If I Told You

**Innocent Sins**

~Chapter 19 – _What If I Told You_~

BPOV

"Carlie, are you okay, honey?" I asked her as I held her tightly.

"Yeah, that scary man said I needed to just stay in here until he came back for me. Mommy, why did he put all these old ratty dolls in here?"

Carlie was in a bedroom that had a big dirty doll house and a bunch of toys that looked like they were retrieved from a dumpster. I was confused by the scene, but insane people were confusing so I decided to just not question it. But I didn't know what to do then. I wasn't going to leave Carlie alone, and I couldn't bring her into the hatch to try to help Edward, but then I heard a car pull up outside. I looked out the window and saw a black Mercedes in front of the house.

"Oh my god," I said in a quick breath. "Carlie hurry, let's go."

"Where are we going?" she asked as we ran down the stairs.

"It's Carlisle, he's here," I said thankfully. I had no idea how Carlisle found us, but it didn't matter in that moment.

"Bella!" Carlisle said as he got out of the car.

"Carlie, get in the car," I told her, and then I started running to the barn, and gratefully, Carlisle ran after me.

I had only been out of the hatch for a little over five minutes, and some time while I was gone, Edward had gotten a gun, which must have been in Aaron's pocket, and he had it pushed into Aaron's neck.

"You won't pull the trigger, you're just a scared little maggot," Aaron said with a smirk. "Weak. I should have known you weren't good enough to take over this mission. You're nothing but a disappointment.

"You have no idea what I'm capable of," Edward said with his face distorted in a way that he was almost unrecognizable.

I could see his finger on the trigger, and his knuckles were white from the amount of force he was holding the gun with. And then I heard sirens outside.

"Edward," Carlisle stepped around me and put his hand on Edward's shoulder. "Remember who you are. You are a better man than this; Bella and Carlie are safe now, put the gun down."

Edward refused to look at Carlisle, his raging eyes were completely fixated on Aaron and his hand remained tight on the raised gun.

"Edward, remember who you are," Carlisle repeated. "Edward, look at me…LOOK AT ME!" Finally, but hesitantly, Edward turned his head to look at Carlisle. "He can't hurt anyone anymore. Look at Bella…you don't want her to see you become a murderer, do you?"

Edward glanced at me for a long brief moment, and I could see the sanity seep back in to his eyes, but then he shook his head.

"That's the thing Carlisle, I'm not a good man….and _he_ did that to me." Edward took a step back and repositioned the gun before firing it. There were three loud bangs before everything went silent.

"FREEZE!" the police officers yelled as they stormed into the hatch with their guns drawn. Edward dropped his gun to the ground and raised his hands in the air. His face was calm, but almost too calm, like he was void of all emotions. One officer grabbed Edward and handcuffed him before dragging him up the stairs, while a second started questioning Carlisle as to his identity.

"I'm Doctor Carlisle Cullen; I work as the Chief of staff at the Memorial hospital in Seattle."

"Carlisle didn't do anything, it was him," I said and pointed at the motionless Aaron on the ground.

"Get up, you piece of shit," a different officer said to Aaron.

"I am but a humble servant. I did nothing but save these young people from being eternally damned. Don't you feel better now that I freed you, young Bella?"

"Ugh!" I said irritated, and I walked right up to him and punched him hard on his jaw. I was a policeman's daughter, so I knew how to throw a good punch without hurting my hand too much. And it felt so good. The cops just looked at me and smirked, but gave no other response to my sudden outburst.

"Hey-ya, if you're a doctor, shouldn't you be looking at this guy's wound?" One officer asked Carlisle.

"He'll be fine," Carlisle said carelessly. Edward shot him in the leg and I assumed the other two shots went into the back wall. Aaron was so insane, that the gunshot didn't even affect him.

"I will not be punished for my acts of love; I will be welcomed into the gates of heaven and greeted as a friend."

"Yo, whack-job, keep your mouth shut," the cop said as he pushed Aaron up the stairs.

"Are you okay Bella?" Carlisle asked me as he started examining my hand, to make sure I didn't hurt myself when I punched Aaron.

"I'm fine, I need to go check on Carlie," I said quickly and ran up the rickety stairs for what I was sure to be the last time.

"Bella, thank god," Charlie said as he saw me come into view. Carlie was hanging on him, so he couldn't run to me as quick as he wanted.

Charlie hugged me, I hugged Carlie, but she wouldn't let go of Charlie. "Are you okay?" he asked me.

"Yeah, that disgusting freak was just toying with us. How did you know where to find us?"

"Well, apparently, Edward had told the county commissioner everything while he was in prison, including the location of this place. When Aaron came in and took you last night, we spent the rest of the night trying to figure out where he could have taken you, but it wasn't until a little over an hour ago that the commissioner would let me hear the recordings of Edward's confession."

"How did you find out?" I asked Carlisle who was talking to a police man behind me.

"I was actually in a meeting with the commissioner when he agreed to let Charlie hear the recordings, and that's the first I knew anything had happened at all, so I rushed here. I didn't know for sure this was where Aaron had taken you, I just hoped."

"Mommy, they took Edward away," Carlie said suddenly. I didn't realize until then, that Edward wasn't in the back of any of the police cars that were still there.

"Where?" I asked Charlie concerned.

"Well, they had orders to take him immediately back to the prison."

I looked behind me and locked eyes with Carlisle, pleading him silently to go help Edward, and of course, he understood. He smiled at Carlie reassuringly, and then got in his car and drove away.

"Is Carlisle going to help Edward?" Carlie asked me.

"Yeah honey, he's going to help him."

"Help him? Bella, he needs to be in prison."

"No, he doesn't. He needs to be somewhere where he can get the proper mental help that he needs, not prison."

"Bella, he…"

"Dad, trust me, Edward didn't do what he did of his own free will. Aaron is a sick bastard, who has been hurting Edward for years."

An ambulance had come onto the scene and they were checking Carlie for injuries, so I used that time away from her to explain to Charlie everything that happened. Charlie was absolutely horrified that there had been such a heinous serial killer so close, and that he was actually friendly to him at one point.

Carlie and I were both taken to the hospital, but were soon cleared to go home. Besides being hungry from not eating in a day, we were both absolutely fine. I wanted to go to the prison to see Edward, but Carlisle promised he'd keep me informed of everything, and he thought they wouldn't let me see him then anyway.

We went home and Charlie installed bars on Carlie's bedroom window, just in case, but Carlie was still afraid to sleep there, so she slept in my bed with me. I anxiously waited for three days for news on Edward, but Carlisle didn't call. I wasn't exactly sure how I felt about Edward anymore, or the type of relationship I wanted with him, but I knew I just needed him to be ok. So much had happened and I was so confused about it all, but the more time that past, the more I ached to see him again and I just couldn't wait anymore, so I called Carlisle.

"Bella, how are you?"

"Good, but you never called me about Edward."

"Well, I wish I had more to say. He was in the hospital for a few hours, but then they put him back in his cell. I'm working to get him transferred to Fairfax here in Seattle, but they are being very difficult."

"What's Fairfax?" I asked.

"It's a psychiatric hospital."

"Oh….will that help him?" I asked concerned.

"That's its purpose, but he has to be open to the help, and right now, he's not."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, he doesn't have any desire to get better, and he definitely doesn't want to try to get his life back in any way. He's severely depressed, and Esme has been meeting with him every day, but he's completely unresponsive."

"Will they let me go see him?"

"I really don't think that would be for the best right now. Esme thinks he needs time to accept everything before he can have any real visitors. She said that it's a process, and he needs to come to terms with what was done to him, before he can begin to get past what he did to you. I believe that if he sees you right now, it'll just push him deeper into his depression."

"How long will the process take?"

"Everyone is different, but I promise to call you as soon as anything changes."

"Thanks Carlisle."

"Bella, you know, Esme would be more than happy recommend a good therapist in the Forks area for you."

"Oh, well, Carlie and I are going to a family therapist already, but thanks."

"Okay. If you need absolutely anything, don't hesitate to call. You and Carlie mean a lot to us, and we all miss you very much."

"We miss you too," I said wholeheartedly.

A few more weeks went by, and finally Carlisle called and said Edward was granted a transfer to the mental hospital. I still wanted to go see him, but the hospital had an intensive program where he wasn't allowed visitors of any kind, so I'd have to wait that much longer.

I did a lot of soul searching during that time, and as much as I knew I'd never forget any of it, I believed I was strong enough to move on with my life. Edward had put the condo in my name, and since it was all paid off and legally belonged to me, I decided to move back there. Carlie loved that place, and missed her school there, so she was beyond thrilled to go back. I also got my job back at the hospital. It felt good being back to some form of normalcy, and we were able to spend time with the Cullens again, which was something we all seemed to really need. No matter what happened with Edward, the Cullens were family to Carlie, and she was so happy to have them back in her life. Like before, Rose would pick her up every day after school, and she and Emmett would watch her until I got off work.

"So, how have you been?" Rose asked me one day when I was there picking Carlie up. Emmett and Carlie were watching a Soccer game on the TV, so Rose and I were just sitting and talking until it was over.

"Good, work has been busy and I like being back. Carlie fell right back in with her old friends and she seems really happy. She still asks about Edward a lot, but I just tell her that he's unable to visit. Of course, she's eight not four, so she's always _questioning_ why he can't come, and I just really don't know how to answer her."

"Bella, I meant how are _you_ doing? You've always struck me as a strong woman, but with everything that's happened, I just want to know how you're feeling about it all."

"I really don't know how to feel. I know that I miss what we had, and I'll always love him, but so much has happened and as much as I wish we could go back to when we were happy and forget about everything else, I know we never can. I don't even know if he'll ever be okay enough to live a normal life again anyway."

"What if he could? What if he got better and showed up on your door step and begged you to forgive him and take him back? Would you? _Could_ you even?"

"I just don't know how much of what we had was real; it was all based on a lie. I don't even know who he really is."

"I don't think he knows either," Rose said under her breath.

"That's exactly what I'm talking about. If he doesn't know who he is and who he wants to be, how can I even think about wanting to be with him again. What was he like all those years you lived with him?"

"Uh, he was quiet most of the time, very guarded, but always polite and nice to everyone. He just always seemed like he carried the weight of the world on his shoulders, and even though we were all around, I always thought of him as being very lonely. But then you came around, and I have to tell you, we were all shocked. He never had any interest in dating, and even though we knew Alice kept trying to find him someone, we never thought he'd click with anyone. He _was _different with you, though. It was the first time that it was obvious that he was genuinely happy….and the loneliness in his eyes disappeared. But every once in a while, I'd see that sadness still there, and looking back on it, I really think he always felt guilty for what he did and what he was still doing by not being honest with you. What happened was awful, but I feel really horrible for both of you. Do you think you can at least forgive him, and someday be okay to be around him again, even casually, like with all of us there?"

"I just don't know my feelings when it comes to Edward, but I do know that I'm not afraid of him anymore. If he…_when _he gets better, I've decided that I want Carlie to know he's her father."

"How are you going to handle that? I mean, if she knows, she's going to ask questions and more importantly, she's going to want to see him. If you don't think you're ready to be around him, then you might not want to tell her just yet."

"Well, I'm going to wait until he's able to see her. He needs to finish his treatment at the hospital first, and then, depending on what happens after that, I'll tell her. She knows that we knew each other in high school, so as far as exact specifics on her conception goes, I really don't think she needs to ever know that. I don't know how I feel about him, but I know how he and Carlie feel about each other, and I just can't stand in the way of that. If I thought he was a threat to her in any way whatsoever, I would never even consider telling her, but I know without a doubt that he loves her and would never hurt her."

"He's always looked at her with a certain reverence, granted, he obviously knew all along that she was his daughter, but still, he worshiped the ground that girl walked on."

"I know. And he was so good with her when she was scared in the hole we were locked in. I mean, he's her dad, and he's amazing with her, so it's not even a question if they'll have a more official father-daughter relationship, it's just getting the timing right."

"And how does your dad feel about that? I know he hates Edward with a passion right?"

"My dad doesn't like the idea of Carlie getting closer to Edward, he doesn't trust him, and I understand that. But I have to do what I feel is right, and Charlie trusts my judgment."

"I really hope it all works out for you. I totally understand if you never want to go anywhere near Edward again, but for selfish reasons, I hope you are able to find a way to at least be friendly someday. Edward is my brother, and that won't change, and I just adore Carlie _and_ you, and I want nothing more than for us all to be as close as we were."

"I want that too," I said sincerely. The game finally ended and I took Carlie home. There wasn't a day that went by, that I didn't think about Edward, and I came to the conclusion that I wouldn't know how I felt for sure until I saw him again.

A few more weeks went by, and I was doing a little spring cleaning in the condo, when I came across one of Edward's duffel bags, which was tucked in the far corner of my closet. Edward was basically living with us before everything happened, so he had a bunch of his things still there. I had collected most of it and put it in a box and then gave the box to Carlisle, but I never noticed the duffel bag before. I put it to the side and planned to give it to Carlisle at work, but for some reason, I just couldn't escape the feeling that I needed to look inside it.

It was mostly his clothes and daily toiletries, and I couldn't help but take out one of his unwashed shirts and just inhale his lingering sweet scent. I always loved the way he smelled, and it had nothing to do with what soap he used; it was just his own unique scent, and it was one I'd always miss.

Without even realizing that I was doing it, I reflexively pulled the old shirt over my head and let it devour me as it draped over my body. I knew I still loved him, but it wasn't until that moment that I realized that I actually still _needed_ him. It was so much harder to convince myself of all the reasons why I should never be near him again, than it was to accept that I still wanted a relationship with him.

My mind said I was nuts. Whether the rape was his desire or not, it still happened, and the fact he lied for so long and betrayed my trust, was inexcusable. I didn't even really know him, everything was based on a lie, so I had no idea how much was real between us. I wasn't even sure if her really ever wanted me, or if he was using our relationship as a way to be close to Carlie.

But my heart wanted _him_, and didn't care what my head said.

After putting his pants on as well, I realized that perhaps my therapy sessions weren't really working. I laid on my bed and just let his clothes embrace me, wishing it was his arms around me, instead of his shirt. Wishing his legs were tangled with mine, like they were every night when we were together. I imagined looking deep into his eyes, as I had done so many times, and thought about how sure I was that my future was with him. It wasn't even a question back then; I couldn't imagine my life without him, and yet I there I was, without him and feeling so alone.

I sat up and took another deep breath so I could drink in his scent one more time, before taking off his clothes. After forcing myself to remove his shirt, I started pulling his pants down when I felt something crinkly in the pocket. I reached in and pulled out a folded piece of white paper, which I unfolded and started reading. It was what looked like a poem, but I realized that it was probably a song he was writing at the time he was wearing the pants. I never actually read any of his songs before, when I asked him about them, he just became uncomfortable and preferred to not talk about them, but I couldn't help but read this one…..

_What if I told you  
Who I really was  
What if I let you in on my charade?_

What if I told you  
What was really going on  
No more masks and no more parts to play

There's so much I want to say  
But I'm so scared to give away  
Every little secret that I hide behind  
Would you see me differently?  
And would that be .such...a bad thing  
I wonder what it would be like  
If I told you

What if I told you  
That's its just a front  
To hide the insecurities I have

What if I told you  
That I'm not as strong  
As I like to make believe I am

There's so much I want to say  
But I'm so scared to give away  
Every little secret that I hide behind

…_._

I couldn't stop the tears from flowing down my face. Despite his actions, I knew from reading that song, that he at least wanted to let me in. As confused as I had been, it suddenly became clear that even though our relationship was based on a lie, it was always real. Every laugh, every touch, every time we made love, the emotions between us were always real.

* * *

**A/N: The song "What If I Told You" is by **_**Jason Walker**_**, and you can go to YouTube and hear the beautiful song that I borrowed for this story and pretended it was by Edward (I couldn't help it, the lyrics went with the story perfectly ;) No Copyright infringement was intended, all rights belong to Jason Walker.**


	20. Just A Boy

**Innocent Sins **

~Chapter 20 – _Just A Boy~_

BPOV

The next month was very hectic. It had been almost six months since I had seen Edward last, and it was finally time for his trial. I had no idea why the legal system took so long, but I was grateful to be moving forward with everything. Aaron's trial date was yet to be scheduled, but I only hoped that he didn't find some strange loophole that got him a lesser sentence, because I knew I'd kill him if he ever got out, and so would about a hundred other people.

The chief prosecutor in Edward's case, kept approaching me to testify against him about the rape, but I refused. I actually tried to get the charges dropped all together, but because I had made a police report after it first happened, and he confessed to it, my involvement and lack of cooperation didn't really matter. But I did agree to testify for the defense on his behalf.

"So, we have the tapes, and if you can tell the judge your feelings on the matter, that will definitely help," Liam told me.

"Are you sure you're ready for this Bella?" Esme asked me as we were all sitting around the Cullen kitchen table.

"Edward doesn't deserve to be in jail for what happened. I'm glad he's in the mental health hospital right now, but when he's done with the program, they will send him back to prison if he's found guilty and sentenced; I can't let that happen."

"We just need to convince Edward that he shouldn't be in prison," Carlisle said hopelessly.

"Well, if I can get him to just _not_ speak, we might get through the trial without any of his incriminating self deprecation," Liam said.

"But won't they ask him for a statement and a plea?" I asked.

"I'm going at this as an extenuating circumstance, and hopefully the judge will see that and be sympathetic. I don't think that they'll make him speak in this particular case," Liam explained.

The next day, we all met at the courthouse, and I suddenly became very nervous. It had been so long since I saw Edward, that I worried what state he'd be in and how I would feel. Esme and Carlisle weren't even able to visit him in the hospital either, because technically they weren't legal family of his, so we all were anxious.

We all took our seats, and then they brought Edward in. He looked absolutely awful. He was skinny, pale with dark circles under his eyes, his hair was in a close buzz cut, and it looked like he hadn't shaved in weeks. I couldn't take my eyes off of him, but he wouldn't look up to meet my stare.

"All rise!" the officer said as the judge walked into the room and took his spot behind the podium. We all sat back down, and the proceedings began. As promised, Liam managed to make it through the trial without involving Edward. He just sat there the whole time, looking like a zombie, showing absolutely no emotions whatsoever. I had thought that the hospital was going to help him, but he almost seemed worse.

"Okay, what's wrong with Edward?" I asked Esme during one of the fifteen minute breaks.

"I was afraid this was going to happen. I think he's on a lot of medication, which would explain his lack of response to anything. Damn it! I just wish they would release him to me; he was doing so well before."

"Would they ever consider releasing him to you?" I asked hopeful.

"Well, maybe as an outpatient, but it would be very difficult to convince the judge that. He admitted to rape, and that's not something they are just going to look the other way at. It's not a slap on the wrist crime."

"But if I testify that I want him out, won't that help? I mean, he never raped anyone else, and like Liam said, it was an extenuating circumstance."

"The problem is that even if the rape charges are dropped or he's sentenced to time served, he still will have to face accessory to murder charges," Carlisle said.

"No. That's bullshit. He was a kid, how can they hold him accountable for any of that?" I was furious from the idea. Edward was an innocent child and when he got old enough to get away from him, he left. Edward needed help, not punishment.

"Liam is working on it, but this isn't a clear-cut case. There's a lot that has to be taken into consideration, and if the judge isn't willing to take the time to look at all sides, then this may not end well," Carlisle explained.

"I really think it's going to depend on what his real birth certificate says. If he was a minor when it all happened, then a conviction will be less likely," Esme said.

"So, you're saying he may not even be twenty six right now?" I asked confused.

"He doesn't know how old he is for sure. He knows he was eight when he was taken, but he doesn't know what year it was. He wasn't in school until he was put in high school, and he has no idea how many years passed before then."

"What about his parents? Has anyone tried to contact them?" I asked.

"Well, they said that they have been looking into missing persons and other child abduction cases, but they can't find anything to match. He mentioned Chicago at one point, but there are a lot of missing kids from Chicago around the estimated time he disappeared," Carlisle said.

"This is so frustrating. How hard can it be to find out his real last name?"

I was called by the defense to testify, and I told them exactly what I knew, followed by my own personal feelings on the matter. I basically stated that Edward was a victim, and putting him in prison would be an injustice. The whole time I spoke, Edward refused to look at me; he just kept his eyes on the desk in front of him, unseeingly.

The deliberations lasted three days, and finally the judge came up with a ruling. He was sentenced to one year, and four years probation. He had to register as a sex offender, but if it was determined at a later date that he was a minor at the time of the rape, his name would be cleared after five years. The only comfort I got out of all that, was that he was able to serve the remainder six months of his one year sentence in the mental hospital. The accessory to murder trial would take place sometime after Aaron's case, so his punishment for that wouldn't be known for a while.

Esme, Carlisle, and Liam spent the next three months trying to get Edward released to Esme, to complete his mental health program as an outpatient under her supervision, and finally their request was granted. Carlisle took a leave of absence from the hospital and he and Esme took Edward back to their house in the country.

Knowing Edward was there, made it extremely difficult to stay away. I just wanted to go there and hold him and tell him everything would be okay, but I needed to give Esme a chance to work with him first. She wanted to get him completely off all the drugs that they had him doped on, and then she would decide for herself if he needed any kind of medication. I called there every day, and though I never actually talked to Edward, just knowing that I was speaking to someone who was with him, made all the difference.

Time moved quickly, and before I knew it, it had been a year since we were locked in that hatch together. I only ever saw Edward at the courthouse since then, and even though more time had gone by with us being apart then when we were actually together, I still had incredibly strong feelings for him. Esme said that she would start talking to him about the idea of meeting me again, but he didn't want any type of reunion, and I didn't want to push him into one.

After a long day of work, I was on my way to pick up Carlie, when I got a text from Charlie. My father wasn't a technically advanced man, so I was utterly shocked to get the message from him.

**C. Swan:  
Hey Bella. I'm at your condo waiting in the lobby and I really need to speak to you alone. Is there somewhere Carlie can go for a few hours while we talk?**

**Bella:  
Uh, sure. Is everything OK?**

**C. Swan:  
Just have something important to tell you.**

I called Rose and asked her to watch Carlie for a little while longer, and of course she agreed; Rose always wanted as much time with Carlie as possible. I became nervous as I approached Charlie in the lobby to my condo, he just looked beyond stressed.

"Hey, what's up?" I asked concerned.

"Let's just go upstairs where we can talk in private."

"Ok."

Every step we took made my heart flutter anxiously. Charlie didn't let much get to him emotionally, so when he looked that visibly upset, I knew it had to be bad.

"Okay, what's wrong?" I asked after walking inside and shutting the door behind us. He motioned for us to sit in the kitchen, so we did and then he put a folder on top of the table in front of us.

He took a deep breath before explaining. "You know I love you and just want what's best. Now, you're an adult and I trust your decisions when it comes to Edward and what not…."

"Yeah?" I asked because he paused for so long that I thought he wasn't going to continue. Charlie hated Edward, though he felt sorry for him at the same time. Charlie was a compassionate man, and he knew Edward was tortured as a child, but he still didn't want him anywhere near Carlie and me.

"Well, I just really don't know how to say this. It's just beyond anything I ever could have imagined. Now, I'm a logical man who doesn't believe in fate or anything like that, so don't think for a minute that is what I'm saying here. But, I just wanted you to know this before I told the Chicago police department."

"Dad, what are you talking about?" I asked confused.

Charlie opened the folder and pulled out a flyer for a missing child. The picture was old and faded, but I recognized the boy immediately…it was Edward.

"Where did you get this?" I asked shocked.

"I've had this hanging on my bulletin for eighteen years. Before I became chief, the chief before me kept trying to get me to take it down, but I insisted that it stayed up."

"Why did they want you to take it down?" I asked mechanically. I was listening to Charlie's every word, but I couldn't take my eyes off of the picture of Edward. He looked to be around seven or eight, and he just seemed like a normal everyday kid. Though he didn't look particularly happy in the picture, he didn't have any of that pain in his eyes that I had come accustom to.

He was _just a boy_, who probably never had seen any real trauma in his life. _Just a boy_ who thought about playing with his friends and what kind of dessert he wanted after dinner. Maybe he was like Carlie and had a little girlfriend who he held hands with at school and thought was so cute, or perhaps all he wanted was to play soccer, just like Carlie. But that innocent little boy had hell in his future, and I wondered how long it took him before he realized that his dreams would never come to fruition.

Did he know that his life would take a horrible turn, was he even capable of understanding the kind of evil that existed in the world? I knew that Carlie still didn't understand. Even after being kidnapped and locked in a cold dark hatch, she still thought that it had all been just a strange misunderstanding. That 'scary man' must have just been confused when he took her from her bedroom that night. Carlie wasn't stupid, just innocent and incapable of seeing the evil in someone. Did Edward feel that way back then as well?

"They wanted to take down the picture because he disappeared from Chicago, and after finding an unidentifiably body of a boy around his age in a ravine a few cities away, they closed the case and the deceased child was buried by his parents."

"Wait, so Edward's parents think he's dead?" I asked horrified.

"The other boy was found a month after Edward disappeared, and the body was so destroyed, that they only went by the general size as identification. The fact that there weren't any other missing children that fit so closely, they just assumed it was him; the law was different back then, and forensics has come a long way."

"So, why did you keep this up all this time then?" I asked still confused.

"Did you read the name and his age?" he asked quietly.

I read the small print under the 'Missing' sign, and it read:

Anthony Mason; Age 7  
Last seen in his home, Chicago Illinois.

I shook my head confused. "Anthony? ...And Edward said he was eight? Why would he lie about that?"

"I think he was more confused then he thought. Perhaps he was excited to be turning eight, so over time, he just couldn't remember straight. And as far as his name goes, maybe he was confused by that somehow as well. Aaron must have changed it, which would make more sense than leaving it the same if he didn't want to be caught."

"Oh my god, he's a year younger than me," I said after reading his date of birth. "He was only sixteen when…" I let my words trail off. The rape didn't affect me the way that it had before, but I still didn't want to really talk about it, especially with Charlie.

"Bella, don't you realize who he is?" Charlie asked slowly.

I shook my head, but then it sunk in. "Anthony Mason….as in the Masons where Elena was…Oh my god!"

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***Woo hoo - a corny twist of fate ;)**

***Quick question, after it was revealed that Edward was the one who raped Bella, no one believed that she would ever forgive him, so I was just wondering if her continued love for him is believable and if you all changed your minds, or does this whole thing seem ridiculous. I probably won't change anything regardless because this is the way I always planned the story, and it's almost over, but I just wanted to know all your opinions.**

***Please Review***


	21. What If

**Innocent Sins**

**A/N: For those who don't remember who Elena was, Edward mentioned her in chapter 13. She was his babysitter and was murdered by Aaron the day he got kidnapped. He said that he'd always remember her because he had a big crush on her, and she was the first dead body he had ever seen.**

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~Chapter 21 – _What If_~

BPOV

I couldn't wait to see him any longer, but because it was getting late, I decided to drive out to the Cullen country house first thing in the morning. I went and picked Carlie up from Rose's apartment, and asked her if she could watch Carlie again the next day. It was Friday, so Rose had the day off on Saturday and I needed her to watch Carlie most of the day. I would have just let her stay the night there, but I had something I needed to tell her.

"Did you have fun with Rose and Emmett this afternoon?" I asked her as she put her stuff down in our condo.

"Yeah, I beat up Emmett; it was so funny, he's such a big baby. Guess what."

"What?" I asked with a smile from her enthusiasm.

"Jasper is coming home soon, Alice is so excited."

"Really? That's great. I know Alice really misses him when he's overseas."

"Yeah, but he's going to be home for good now."

"How do you know that?"

"He got a job as a boot-camp drill sergeant….what's a boot-camp drill sergeant?"

I laughed. "It means he's going to help train the newbies."

"Like, the new soldiers?"

"Exactly."

"Cool. I bet he'll be really good at that job."

"I think so too. Hey, I need to talk to you about something."

"Ok, what?" she asked curiously.

"It's about Edward."

"Really? Is he coming back here? When can we see him?" she asked quickly excited. It had been a year since she had seen him last, but she still asked about him constantly and her bond to him was just as strong, so I wasn't surprised by her reaction.

"I don't know if he's going to come back, but there's something important you need to know… I told you that I knew him in high school right?" she nodded, so I continued. "Well, uh, he's actually…your father."

She stared at me in shock. She had asked about her father a few times in the past, but I always told her that I'd tell her when she was older. I had no intention on telling her specifics, but she didn't really care about that anyway.

"Like, my real dad, like really really? Like biolical?"

"Biological," I corrected her. "Yes, he's your biological father. That's why you're so pretty, because you look so much like him," I said with a smile as I caressed her face.

"Can we go see him now?" she asked eagerly.

"Well, he's been sick lately, so I'm going to go see if he's feeling any better tomorrow, and if he is, then you can come see him."

"Really? I can't wait! Does he know that he's my dad?"

"Of course he knows," I said with a smile. "Now, go on to bed so you can be all rested for him tomorrow."

Maybe it was wrong of me to get her hopes up when he might not be in the proper state to see her, but I just knew in my heart that he'd be okay with it. Esme had said he wasn't progressing like she hoped, but even though so much had happened and I knew he was severely depressed, I just truly believed that if anyone could get him out of it, it was Carlie.

I was happy with my decision to tell her about Edward being her father right then. She was still young and didn't ask the 'why' and 'how' of it all, she was just so excited that nothing else mattered to her. If I waited to tell her, she would have been angry that I didn't tell her sooner, and would have wanted to know why, which I wasn't prepared to answer yet. She didn't ever need to know _how_ she was conceived, but I needed to think of a reason why he lived with us for months and we never told her that he was her father. Of course, I didn't know at the time, but she didn't need to know that either.

The next morning, Carlie and I woke up early and got ready to go. I dropped her off at Rose and Emmett's, and they said they'd bring her to the Cullen house when I was ready.

"You sure about this?" Rose asked me quietly before I left.

"Definitely," I said quickly.

"But Esme said…"

"I know what Esme said, but I'm following my heart on this one. I was patient and I gave him time and space, but it didn't seem to help, so maybe he just needs to be forced into it."

Rose looked at me like I was crazy, but she didn't try to convince me otherwise. I gave Carlie a kiss and then left for the country house. I didn't call Esme or Carlisle before I went there, because I knew Esme would try to tell me not to come, but I needed to see him, and I was confident that he needed to see me as well.

"Bella, this is a…surprise." Carlisle said as he greeted me outside the house after I pulled up.

"I'm sorry for not calling; I just need to talk to Edward _right now_."

"Uh…I don't think that's such a good idea just yet. Bella we asked him, and he doesn't want to see you. Forcing this can have a detrimental effect."

"I understand that, but I still need to talk to him, and it can't wait."

Carlisle hesitantly led me into the house to talk to Esme, but she had the same reaction as Carlisle did, maybe even stronger.

"Bella, this isn't good. He can't be forced into a reunion like this, he needs to _want_ to see you, otherwise it's just going to set him back."

"Esme please let me see him. I know I can help him, just give me a chance. If he's really not doing any better, then seeing me isn't going to hurt him. But if there is the smallest chance that I could be right, don't you think we should just try?"

Esme thought about it for a few minutes, and then she sighed before nodding. "But just be careful, I don't want him to get too upset."

"Maybe he needs to be upset, maybe it doesn't matter what emotions he feels, as long as he feels something. You said he's been emotionless right? He needs to come back to life, and part of life is being upset," I said confidently. "You're the doctor and I have no idea what I'm talking about, but I really feel like I know Edward, and I know that this is what he needs."

Esme nodded her head again. "I hope you're right."

"He's out in the barn, should I get him and bring him back here?" Carlisle asked.

"He's in the barn?" I asked confused, and a little disturbed. Of all the places to be, I really didn't think the barn would have been the healthiest place, considering that a barn was what he was locked for a good part of his childhood.

"He spends a lot of time in there. I thought it was a bad thing at first, like maybe it was a form of self punishment, but I think he just appreciates the solitude. We don't let him stay in there for too long; he usually just goes in there to read."

"Oh…okay. Well, I'll just go talk to him in there then. Thanks."

I headed towards the barn and my body had a definite physical reaction. It was like I could sense that he was close, and he was the cure for all of my pain that I had lived in for so long. I needed him, and no amount of passing time could alleviate that.

I walked in slowly, and I couldn't help but stare at him quietly for a few moments. He was sitting up on the edge of a horse stall, with his legs crossed, and he was reading a book. His hair was still shorter than when we were together, but it had grown out from the buzz cut the hospital had it in. He looked better, but still not as healthy as I wished he was. I had a strong desire to run to him and wrap my arms around him, but I needed to take it slow, and say what I went there to say.

He didn't notice me at first, but then he looked up and locked eyes with me.

"Hey," I said hesitantly.

He stared at me for a few long moments, before looking down at his book slowly, and closing it.

"What are you doing here?" he asked monotony.

"I needed to come see you," I said and started walking towards him. He stood up and took a few steps back. "Edward, please, just listen to me for a few minutes."

"You really shouldn't have come here."

"Well, I'm not leaving until you hear me out."

"Bella, I don't want to hear you out, we have nothing left to say…"

"I told Carlie that you're her father," I said quickly.

"What? ...Why would you do that?"

"Because I think you need her as much as she needs you. She loves you so much and she never went a day without asking about you, and I doubt you went a day without thinking about her."

"You really don't know me as well as you think you do," he said flatly.

"I know you. I may not know every thought that runs through your mind, but I know what's in your heart."

"It was all a lie," he said uncaringly.

"No it wasn't. The lie was what Aaron made you believe and the things he made you do, but what we had was always real; I know that now. Weren't you happy when you were with us?"

"It doesn't matter, it's over now and we can't get back there after everything that's happened."

"You're right, we can't go back, but maybe we can become something better. No more lies, or hiding anything, just real and honest love."

"Why would you even want that after knowing what I did?" he asked as if I was crazy.

"Because I love you, the real you, not who he was trying to make you become. Tell me that you never felt anything for me at all, and I'll leave you alone."

He shook his head ever so slightly, and then looked away.

"You can't tell me that, because you know it would be a lie and I really think that we're past lying now, aren't we?"

"It's just not enough," he whispered.

"But in the end, it's all we really have."

He shook his head again. "Bella, please just leave me alone."

"Well, I can't because Carlie is coming here later to see you."

He just stared at me incredulously. "Why did you tell her? Why couldn't you just let it go?"

"I already told you why. You know, none of this was supposed to happen. We weren't meant to be separated like we were for this past year."

"What are you talking about? We were never supposed to cross paths in the first place."

"Yes, we were. Edward, we were meant to be together."

"How could you even say that? How could you think that we were meant to meet, and I was meant to hurt you that way? That's ridiculous."

"No, like I said before, that was Aaron's doing."

"Bella," he said quietly as his eyes begged me to stop.

"You know, my dad was always a homebody, too afraid to take chances and actually go anywhere besides the comfort of Washington. He fully planned to go to Washington State and never really do anything with his life, but then he made a last minute decision to go out of state for college, and that's where he met Renee. Without his sudden change of heart, I would have never been born."

He looked at me confused. "Why are you telling me this now, Bella? You've already told me this story before."

"Because there's more to the story that proves that we belong together."

He shook his head again, but stood there silently and waited for me to continue.

"Charlie's older sister got married and moved away, and had always tried to get Charlie to move closer to her. She said he needed a change, but he would never go for it. When Renee decided she had enough of Forks and she took me and left, Charlie knew that he needed to do something drastic in order to get her back, so he went to visit his sister. He started looking at houses close by her, and actually put a down payment on one. It was in a suburb of a big city, so he thought Renee would be happy enough there and they could save their marriage."

"Bella, what does this have to do with anything?" He asked frustrated.

"I'm getting there," I said before taking a deep breath. It wasn't an easy thing to talk about, and it was even more difficult to tell him about it, knowing the hell he lived through. "My dad was about to sign the final papers on the house, when…my cousin was murdered just down the street from where the house was."

Edward looked at me stunned, as my words took him off guard.

"She was seventeen, and I absolutely adored her. We were so much alike that people thought we were sisters, but she lived on the other side of the country so we didn't see each other too often. I was eight when my parents sat me down and told me she was killed. They didn't tell me how she died until much later, but the whole thing was completely devastating. Her murder scared my dad to death, and he changed his mind about moving. My parents never got back together, and my mom went on to marry Phil."

"I don't understand. What are you trying to tell me?" Edward asked.

"My aunt and cousin lived in Chicago, and that's where my dad wanted to move to. Don't you get it? If Aaron didn't come in and kill Elena, I would have moved down the street from you. Even if my mom never went back to my dad and still met Phil later on, I would have gone to live with Charlie in Chicago instead of Forks while I was in high school."

"Elena was your cousin?" he asked so quietly that I could hardly hear him.

"If Aaron didn't go to your house that night_, if_ he didn't exist, we would have gone down our natural path." I watched Edward's face as I spoke and as he realized what I was telling him, his hard mask he had been wearing broke and tears began to fall down his face. "We would have known each other under more normal circumstances in high school. I would have resisted it at first, because you're younger than me, but then our connection would have been too strong and I would have been powerless against it. We would have been so in love, and maybe we wouldn't have been completely careful with our passion, and not used the proper protection when we made love."

I walked closer to him as he cried silently from the loss of what should have been, and he didn't even flinch when I put my arms around him.

I cried with him, and held him tightly as I continued speaking softly. "Our parents wouldn't have been happy that I got pregnant so young, but they would have accepted it, and we would have raised Carlie together. Or maybe we _would _have been careful and got married after high school, and then Carlie would be younger now, but we would have had her eventually either way….Elena wasn't supposed to be murdered, you weren't supposed to be kidnapped, I should have moved to Chicago and we would have been together."

Edward finally looked at me, and the pain in his eyes was immeasurable. We had been cheated out of a life together, and he knew it.

"We can't live in _'what ifs'_," he murmured.

"No, we can't let him ruin the rest of our lives, because then he wins. He threw us off course, but we found our way back to each other. You, me, and Carlie are supposed to be together, and it doesn't matter how we get there, as long as that's where we end up."

A new wave of tears overtook him, and he tried to pull away from me but I just grabbed him tighter and refused to let go.

"I love you so much, and I forgive you for what happened." He turned his head away from me, so I let go of his body and cradled his face in my hands, locking him in place so he had to look at me. "I forgive you," I repeated, and then he completely broke down and started crying harder. I moved my hands from his face, to behind his head and knotted them in his hair, forcing our foreheads together. I could feel his body loosen as he let go of his self hatred long enough to grab on to me, and hold me against him as he wept into my hair.

It was like we had both stopped breathing from being apart, but being back in each other's arms was a relief that couldn't be properly described in words. It was where we belonged, and I could feel that he finally accepted it.

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***What do you think? HEA coming next =)**


	22. Talking

**Innocent Sins**

A/N: I thought this would be the last chapter, but I couldn't fit it all in yet, so there will be _at least_ one more after this.

* * *

~Chapter 22 –_Talking_~

BPOV

We held each other until our crying slowed, and then we held each other even longer. I wondered if I'd ever have any desire to let him go, when all I wanted was to be in his arms forever. We somehow ended up on the ground, and I curled myself in his lap as we breathed each other in. We didn't need to say anything during those moments, we just needed to mold ourselves as close to each other as possible. We had been to hell and back, and I knew without a doubt, that nothing in the world could possibly tear us apart again. We must have stayed like that for hours, and if anyone came to check on us, we didn't notice. Only the sound of a car pulling up outside, was able to pull us from the peaceful serenity where no one else existed but the two of us.

I recognized the sound of Emmett's jeep right away, though the rough rumble almost sounded foreign and extremely loud after not hearing anything but the soft sound of Edward's gentle breathing for so long. I pulled back, but refused to remove myself from his lap, and I locked eyes with him again.

"She's here," I said quietly.

He nodded slightly, and then our lips reunited for the first time in over a year. I didn't know who initiated the kiss, but it didn't matter either, because we kissed each other with an eager desperateness; as if our lives depended on that kiss.

"Where's my mom?" I heard Carlie say from outside. Edward pulled away from our kiss, and it was obvious that he was torn. I knew he wanted to stay in that moment with me, but he hadn't seen Carlie in a year and he needed to be with her again too. I forced myself off his lap, and held his hand as we stood. I caressed his face again, before we walked out of the barn hand in hand.

"Daddy!" Carlie yelled excitedly, which took both Edward and I off guard. She ran for us and leapt into his open arms before locking herself to him tightly.

"I missed you so much," he whispered in her ear as he held her close. He had his arms wrapped around her, but refused to let go of my hand, so it was slightly awkward, but absolutely perfect.

"Will you stay with us now?" Carlie asked him hopefully. Edward looked at me questionably and I nodded slightly, but he pulled Carlie away from him and kneeled down in front of her.

"Look how big you've gotten; you're so grown up now that I hardly recognize you," he said with a sweet smile.

"I'm nine now, and you didn't come to my birthday party."

"I'm so sorry I missed it."

"That's okay. Mom rented a jumpy house, but Claire got sick and threw up over everything. It was disgusting and then Rose had to throw up after seeing Claire do it, and then Emmett had to leave cause he was going to throw up too."

"Wow, well that would have been fun to see."

"You would have gotten sick from seeing it too," Emmett rebutted bitterly. I didn't even realize that everyone was there watching Edward and Carlie's reunion, but Edward didn't seem to mind.

"Well, yeah. I think anyone would have gotten sick from seeing Rose vomit," Edward said in a teasing tone.

"I have a very high gag reflex. Seeing throw up makes me sick," Rose said defensively, and then turned to me. "Sorry we came before you called; Carlie just couldn't wait any longer."

"I think your timing was perfect," I said with a smile as Edward finally let go of my hand so Carlie could drag him off somewhere to show him something. Their reunion was simple, and they just picked right up where they left off. Edward made no promises to her that he'd always be there, but that didn't really bother me. I knew everything would still take time, and I was just so grateful for the extremely amazing advance that he did make by letting us back in, that I wasn't going to push him any further at that moment.

I looked at Esme and Carlisle and they both had tears in their eyes from watching Edward's miraculous transformation. "I can't believe that's the same person who woke up here this morning," Esme said astonished. "You should seriously consider a career in psychology."

"No, I just know Edward."

"All he needed was you," Carlisle said quietly.

"We needed each other."

We spent the rest of the day, just getting reacquainted as a family. The Cullens left the three of us alone for the most part, but we all came together and laughed through dinner. We weren't completely healed, but we were definitely going in that direction. Edward held my hand whenever possible, and we made sure that we stayed close together. We didn't kiss again like we did in the barn, but just being close was enough for the time being. He looked at me, and even if he never said it, I could see his love and I felt it stronger than anything. Edward was a good man and I always knew that in my heart, but only with complete honesty and forgiveness, was he able to move past what happened.

Edward's one year sentence was over, but he wasn't entirely ready to leave the house yet, so we all spent the night there. It was assumed that after a year apart, Edward and I wouldn't be ready to just jump in bed together right away, so Esme set up the guest room, which I shared with Carlie. But I absolutely hated being that close to him, and yet still so far, so I decided just to take a chance and push my luck. We never had a casual relationship; it was always very intense from the beginning, so I decided that if nothing else, I just wanted to sleep next to him.

He wasn't sleeping when I crept quietly in his room in the middle of the night, and he knew it was me as soon as I opened his bedroom door.

"Bella," he said softly. I didn't answer him, I felt my way to his bed in the darkness, and just lifted the covers and climbed in. I cuddled up to him and rested my head on his chest, letting the rhythm of his heart, and the warmth of his embrace, lull me to sleep.

…..

I loved waking up in his arms and I couldn't help but smile and blush just a bit as his eyes met mine in the bright light of the morning. It was a new day, and I knew everything would be different. I scooted up to be closer to his face, and I just planted my lips to his. This kiss was better than the first one in the barn. The first one was full of desperation and pain, where this kiss was pure unadulterated passion.

I was actually glad when Carlie peeked in the room and ran and jumped on the bed with us, because I knew I wouldn't have been able to stop kissing him otherwise. As much as I wanted to be with him completely, I knew we needed to slow it down. He wasn't ready for that but I knew he wouldn't deny me either, and that wasn't something that I wanted to force him into, even if he wanted it also.

"Esme is making pancakes," Carlie said as she jumped on the bed on her knees.

"What? No poptarts?" Edward teased her knowing they were her favorite.

"Carlisle said that poptarts are unhealthy and I shouldn't eat them all the time."

"Well, he's right," I said with a smile.

We all got dressed and spent another full day together, but I was right when I thought that this day would be different. Instead of just holding hands, we spent every free second we had, kissing. There was no more trepidation, and we just melted together as if we had never been apart. I didn't want to ruin it by bringing up sensitive topics, but it was Sunday, and we would have to go home after a while so Carlie could get prepared for school the next day. I wouldn't have minded her missing it, but I knew Edward would come with us back to the condo, so I absolutely had to bring up what I needed to say while Esme was still close by in case we needed her support. Carlie was off picking wild flowers with Rose, so I figured it was a good time to talk.

"So, uh…" I hesitated, so fearful that talking to him about his past would cause him to pull away from me again.

"What?" he asked amused by my lack of finding the right words.

"My dad had to tell the Chicago police that you're still alive," I said with a shaky voice. He furrowed his brow, and looked at me confused.

"How did he figure out who I even am?"

"Well, he's had your missing person's flyer up in his station since you were first kidnapped. Because you went missing at the same time Elena was killed, Charlie just couldn't ever bring himself to take the flyer down. They found another boy's body and thought it was you, so you were declared dead. Charlie feels horrible that he had talked to you so many times, and never realized who you really were, but it had been years since he looked at your flyer, so he just never put it all together."

"It's not his fault." I was surprised by Edward's ease on the subject, but I realized that as long as we were together, he could handle anything.

"Do you even know that your name is actually Anthony?" I asked carefully.

He looked at me for a few long moments, before looking up at the ceiling and taking a deep breath.

"No, I forgot that, but now that you mention it, I guess I do remember it vaguely."

"Your parents are going to want to see you as soon as they are told that you're alive."

He nodded, "yeah, I know."

"Are you okay with that?"

He wound his fingers with mine, and looked deep into my eyes. "I'm okay with anything as long as I know you and Carlie are okay."

"I was thinking that we could go to Chicago, instead of making them come here. I haven't seen my aunt and uncle in a long time, and I'd really like to visit Elena," I said, but then I regretted it immediately, worried that would have pushed him too far.

"I really don't think her parents would appreciate me going to her grave," he said quietly.

"I think they would. You had nothing to do with her murder Edward, you were just a scared little boy."

"I lived with the man who killed her for years," he rebutted.

"You need to forgive yourself for the things that you couldn't change. You know, you're a year younger than me. You were only seven when you were kidnapped, not eight."

Edward looked puzzled. "Really?"

I laughed once. "Really."

"Huh," he said surprised.

"So, I'm going to buy plane tickets for the three of us to fly to Chicago…okay?"

Edward didn't say anything, he just leaned into me for a kiss. Again, the kiss would have erupted into something way more intense, but then everyone started coming back into the house, and I knew we needed to go home; but I wasn't about to leave Edward. It may have seemed strange, like everything was happening so fast between us, but we had a very deep passionate love that despite everything, always remained strong and the moment we reconnected, there was no separating us again.

"Carlie has school in the morning, so we should probably be going," I said slowly.

"No, mom. I want to stay with daddy."

"Well, I think he needs to just come with us then," I said with a smile while looking at Edward.

"Oh, will you?" she asked Edward. "It'll be just like it was before. We can make popcorn and watch movies and…"

"Are you still watching those disturbing Disney movies?" he asked, interrupting her.

"They're the best," she said with a smile. "_'Beauty and the Beast' _is still my favorite. So are you coming?"

He glanced at Esme to see what she thought, and she understood. "Your sentence is up, if you feel like you're ready to leave, then that's up to you. You just need to tell your probation officer and make sure you don't miss any of your check-in meetings."

Edward nodded at her, then looked back at me. "You really don't want me moving back there. Remember how angry you'd get when I left the toilet seat up?"

I smiled, "Yeah, we'll just have to keep working on that one."

Edward packed one of his famous duffel bags, and came with us back to the condo. He seemed a little nervous on the ride over, but the moment we walked into the condo and Carlie started running around excitedly, Edward completely relaxed. It was the first time since being back from Forks that the condo actually felt like home, and that was simply because we weren't complete without him. We got home pretty late, so Carlie was disappointed that she wasn't able to stay up later to watch a movie with Edward, but he promised to pick her up after school the next day, so she was happy about that.

Edward tucked Carlie into bed, and then he came out and stood in front of me uncomfortably, not exactly sure what to do. I grabbed his hand and led him into the bedroom, and decided that we had wasted enough time being apart and as long as he was comfortable with it, I wanted to be fully connected to him again.

I shut the door behind him and immediately started kissing him. He responded fervently, and kissed me with more passion than I had ever experienced before. The time apart did nothing but increase our desire for each other, and it didn't take long for our clothes to be thrown on the floor. His kisses left my mouth and trailed to me neck, but then went back up behind my ear.

"I love you so much," he whispered, and I couldn't help the tear that fell down my face as a response. There was no better feeling in the world knowing we were really and truly back together, and nothing else mattered more.

"I love you too," I said softly before reclaiming his lips to mine. We made love all night and refused to be separated longer than it took for him to thrust right back into me. When the sun came back up, and we had yet to fall asleep, we decided to move our love making to the shower. It was still early, so we stayed in the shower until the water ran cold, and then we forced ourselves to dry off and get dressed. Edward took Carlie to school, and I called in sick from work. When he got back, I was already waiting for him in bed, so he automatically took his clothes off and climbed back on top of me.

It didn't matter that we had made love all night, we just couldn't get enough of each other and I knew we never would. However, I must have finally fallen asleep at some point, because I woke up cold and alone and I started to panic. I sat up and looked around, before I thankfully found a note on his pillow…

_You looked so beautiful that I didn't want to wake you.  
Hopefully I'll be back before you even realize I left, but if not, I'll be back soon.  
I love you!_

I looked at the clock and was stunned at the time. He left to go pick up Carlie from school, and I was grateful that he hadn't fallen asleep and neglected her the way I had. I got dressed and looked in the mirror, and had to laugh at my appearance; he said I looked beautiful, but I was the complete opposite. I tried to run a brush through my matted hair, but it actually broke, so I threw it down and decided that I just didn't care. I got the stuff out to make dinner, and got started. They came home soon later, and like before, Edward helped Carlie with her homework while I finished cooking. It was incredibly normal, and entirely blissful. We spent the rest of the week in the same fashion, and I was pretty sure that my lack of actually going to work would cause me to get fired, but I couldn't really bring myself to care.

When Friday rolled around, I got another unexpected visit from Charlie, which was very unlike him to just come over unannounced.

"Hey, please tell me you don't have any bad news for me, because if you do, I really don't want to hear it," I said after opening the door and letting him in.

"So, I went by the hospital but they said you haven't been in all week," Charlie said concerned.

"Oh, yeah…I've been…sick," I said and faked a cough. Charlie, of course, knew I was fibbing.

"So, I called the Cullens to talk to Edward, and they said he was here."

"Dad, you knew I was going to try to get him to come back here. I told you how I feel about him."

"I know, I just wanted to make sure you were ok. This isn't easy for me kiddo, and I just can't sit back and pretend like this is all just normal."

"I thought you said you trusted my decision?"

"I do. I just wanted to come here and look the guy in the eye. Is he here?"

"No, he went to pick Carlie up from school."

"How has she handled everything?"

"Are you kidding? She's on cloud nine. She's always adored Edward, and she couldn't possibly be happier knowing he's her father."

"I talked to Mary, and she said that she's talked to the Masens."

"Aunt Mary told the Masens about Edward?" I asked shocked.

"Well, they remained in contact all these years, and since she's my sister, I wanted her to know before it got out in the press, and she wanted to be the one to tell the Masens. She thought it may be a little easier coming from her."

"How did Mary and Randall take it?"

"Well, they have some peace now knowing Elena's murderer is behind bars, but as her parents, I really don't think it ever gets easier."

"And, what about the Masens?"

Charlie took a deep breath. "Well, they were pretty upset and anxious, but beyond ecstatic at the same time. They called me and started asking a million questions about '_Anthony'_, but it was very uncomfortable for me, you know, because of everything; so they asked to have a way to contact him, but I wasn't really sure how secure he'd be with all of that."

"You actually talked to Edward's parents?" I asked surprised.

"Well, I had been on the phone all day with the Chicago police department, so they could change the status of the case. It's a lot of paperwork, and they want a DNA test done before they'll legally change 'Anthony Masen' from being deceased, to still living. And I had just hung up the phone with the chief there, when Anthony Masen Sr. called me, hoping for more information on his son."

"What did you tell him exactly?"

"I just told him that there wasn't much I could legally say, which is the truth. I said that I knew him personally and he's fine physically, and that's all I could tell them. Edward is an adult now, therefore he doesn't have to see them or be in contact with them if he doesn't want to be, and it's against the law for me to give his personal information out to anyone."

"Do they know exactly how you know him? Do they know that you share a granddaughter?"

"That's really not my place to say. I could have ignored the legality of it all and treated it personally, but it's just not right for me to tell them those things."

"Grandpa!" Carlie yelled enthusiastically as she and Edward came through the door.

"Hey munchkin," Charlie said as he hugged her hello.

The atmosphere in the room was tense. Charlie was extremely uncomfortable with Edward there, and Edward knew it and didn't blame him one bit. It was a good thing Carlie was with us, because she broke some of the stress in the room.

"Carlie, it's getting late, why don't you go get in the bath," I said to her hesitantly after a while. I was worried about her leaving and allowing Charlie and Edward to have it out, but she needed to get ready for bed.

"Okay momma," she said and skipped off to the bathroom.

"Dad, are you going to stay the night?" I asked because I knew it was too late to make a three hour drive.

"I don't want to impose."

"You're not imposing, you know you're always welcome here."

"Well, let me tell you what I came here to say first," he said to Edward, who was quietly sitting on the chair in the far corner of the room. "I'm not going to sit here and apologize for what I did to you in prison, cause you hurt my little girl and I'd do it again. But I am sorry that I didn't figure out the truth sooner. I really feel that I let you down, and my sister, and all the other families which that man ruined. I had your picture in my office for years and I should have been able to realize it. If I figured it out sooner, maybe some of those girls could have been saved."

"It's not your fault Charlie. And I would never expect an apology for what happened that day in prison. If I were in your place, I wouldn't have stopped, but you're a better man than me."

"But you did stop. You had a gun and you could have killed Aaron, but instead you shot him in the leg."

Edward shook his head. "No, if Bella wasn't there, I would have killed him," he said casually. "I just didn't want her to live with the image of a dead body in her mind for the rest of her life. Regardless of the scum he is, seeing someone dead never leaves you."

"I do know how that is," Charlie said understandingly. Charlie, being a cop, had seen his fair share of dead bodies, most of which were traffic accident casualties, but it still affected him.

It would take a great amount of time to get Charlie comfortable with Edward again, but he did seem to relax just a bit, and agreed to stay the night.

"So, I talked to your father," Charlie said uneasily after Carlie went to bed.

"Oh, Carlisle never mentioned anything about talking to you," Edward said surprised.

"No, I meant your real father. Anthony called and wanted any information I had on you, but I didn't feel it was my place. But I have their number if you want to call them, and I'm sure they would be on the next plane out here if they knew where you are and that you'd be willing to see them."

"Uh…" Edward looked at me in almost a panic, so I stepped in.

"Edward and I are going to fly to Chicago next week. I want to see Aunt Mary and Uncle Randall, and I think it would be good for everyone if we met them there."

"I don't want to overstep my bounds here, but I'd really like to go as well. I can watch Carlie at Mary's house while you meet your parents first, and then bring her over," Charlie suggested. I knew my father well enough to know that he had ulterior motives for wanting to go with us. I'm sure it had a lot to do with the fact that he still felt like he needed to protect me, both from Edward, and from Chicago itself. I hadn't been there since Elena was murdered, and Charlie never wanted to go back either. Mary always came to Forks to visit over the years, and that's just the way it was.

I looked to Edward for an answer. I wanted him to be as comfortable as possible, and if he wasn't okay with Charlie coming with us, then I wasn't going to let him.

"Uh, yeah Charlie, if you want to come, that would actually be a good thing," Edward said.

It was getting really late and I was surprised that Charlie was still awake, he was usually in bed by nine pm. I made up the guest room and said goodnight expecting Edward to come to bed with me, but he said he'd be in later. Of course, I couldn't sleep without him, so I listened quietly from my bedroom as Charlie and Edward stayed up talking into the early hours of the morning. I think they both needed that conversation, just to know exactly where each other's feelings lied. Charlie needed to feel like Carlie and I were safe with Edward, and Edward felt like he owed Charlie that reassurance.

They talked about the Masens a bit, and life with Aaron, and the even talked baseball. Edward was completely forthcoming, and didn't shy away from anything Charlie asked him. The conversation finally slowed, and Edward must have decided that he needed Charlie to understand his feelings for me entirely.

"Charlie, I love Bella more than anything, and I always have since the moment I met her. I never wanted to hurt her, and I know it doesn't excuse what happened, but it's the god's honest truth. Bella and Carlie are everything to me, and they are the only family I'll ever need. The Masens, the Cullens, none of them matter to me deep down. Having a relationship with all of them isn't important to me, but I know its good for Carlie and that's the biggest reason why I agreed to meet them. I care about the Cullens, they completely took me in and saved my life, but I'd be okay if I never saw them again. I have _no_ desire to reconnect with the Masens for myself, but I feel bad for them because I know how I felt not being able to see Carlie. I know you may never trust me, and that's ok, I don't expect you to, but I swear, I will never hurt Bella again. For the rest of my life, I'm going to do nothing but try to make her happy, and keep her and Carlie safe and taken care of. Nothing else matters to me."

Charlie was quiet for a while as he digested what Edward said. "You better be right, because if I find out that you weren't completely honest with me about everything you just said, I'll kill you. I stopped myself before, but I won't hesitate the next time. Bella and Carlie are my whole family too, and I will protect them with everything I have in me."

"I know, and that's why I was always thankful they had you."

"Well, I'm about to fall asleep right here, so I'm going to bed."

"Goodnight Charlie. Thank you for talking to me."

Charlie mumbled something too low for me to hear, and then I heard Edward come into the bedroom. I thought about pretending to be asleep so he wouldn't think I was listening to their conversation, but then I decided that I really didn't care if he knew.

I wrapped my arms around him as he crawled into bed, and he kissed me. Even though it was dark, I could feel him smiling against my lips as he realized that I had been waiting awake the whole time, just so he could come and make love to me.

We stayed awake for a few more hours making love, and then we finally both crashed and fell into a deep peaceful sleep.

* * *

***If you didn't understand, Mary is Charlie's older sister, and she and Randall were Elena's parents. **

***Edward meets the Masens, next. **

*******Please Review*******


	23. Anthony & Edward

**Innocent Sins**

A/N: Ok, I said that there would be 'at least' one more chapter, but I couldn't it finish it yet. I'm thinking that there will be one more chapter after this one, and then perhaps an Epilogue, but don't hold me to it, because I'm not entirely sure. This story has completely taken on a life of its own, and I'm just trying to see where it goes.

* * *

~Chapter 23 – _Anthony & Edward_~

BPOV

Edward had to get permission from his probation officer before leaving the state, so after his request was granted, we bought the plane tickets. I was surprised by just how calm he was, I thought he would have been nervous knowing he was going to see his parents again after so long, but he seemed absolutely fine. We played musical chairs on the plane. When we first took off, I was sitting with Edward, and Carlie was behind us with Charlie, but half way through the flight Carlie wanted to sit with her dad, so she and I switched seats. They spent the rest of the trip looking out the window and pointing stuff out to each other, which was absolutely adorable.

Mary was going to pick us up at the airport and drive us to the hotel so we could get settled in before going to meet the Masens. Mary and Randall wanted us to stay with them at their house, but we decided we'd be more comfortable at the hotel.

We saw Mary waiting at baggage claim, and Charlie went to hug her first.

"Wow little brother, I was sure I'd never see you here again. Up until the moment you walked into view, I really thought you were going to back out," Mary said to Charlie.

"Well, if Bella wasn't so determined to come, I probably never would have," Charlie said to her with a smile.

"Hi sweetheart," Mary said to me while giving me a hug. "And look how big you are," she said to Carlie while hugging her tightly, making Carlie giggle.

Mary then looked at Edward, and was slightly stunned. "My god, you look just like your father…but you have Elizabeth's coloring. I'm sorry, I doubt you remember me, I'm Mary Gilbert."

"No, I don't really remember," Edward said regrettably. "Well, I'm sorry…about your daughter."

"I can't imagine how terrified you must have been that night," Mary said with tears in her eyes.

"I wish there was a way I could have helped somehow."

"You were a child, and it was a long time ago. But I do know that Elena did love to babysit for you."

Mary drove us to the hotel, which was just a few minutes from her house.

"Are you ready for this?" I asked Edward as we walked out of the hotel to meet Mary in the lobby.

"I think so," he said with an uneasy smile.

Mary took us to the Masen's house after dropping Carlie and Charlie at her place down the road, and then she left us to meet them alone. Edward and I held hands as we walked up to the door, and knocked softly. I squeezed his hand reassuringly, and he took a relaxing deep breath. I could see Edward look wide eyed around the front yard as we waited for someone to answer the door.

The door opened slowly, and a woman stood there, staring speechless at Edward, and then suddenly, she broke down and started crying hysterically. "Oh, thank you god," she said finally and then stepped forward and wrapped her arms around Edward's torso.

Edward tentatively hugged her back as she sobbed uncontrollably. A man showed up behind her in the house, and he put his hand over his mouth as his own eyes immediately teared up as well. Edward let his parents cry and hold him, but he didn't show much emotion himself. Edward wasn't an emotional person, which was why I was surprised when he cried so hard during our reunion, but I really thought he'd be a little happier to see them.

His mother, I assumed, pulled back from her hug to cradle his face in her hands. "You're really here; you're really alive and home after all this time?"Edward nodded slightly, so she pressed her forehead to his gently, before forcing herself to pull back so her husband could have a turn embracing him. He cried harder as he held Edward tightly, and I saw Edward's eyes wheel around until he saw me standing out of the way off to the side.

I knew what he was thinking immediately, we were so connected that we didn't need words. He was extremely uncomfortable. Edward hated people hugging him; besides me, Carlie, the kids at the hospital, and occasionally Alice when she didn't take _no_ for an answer, he never let anyone hold him like that. His parents didn't know the full extent to the torture he endured, and would never think that such a simple act of love could be so physically agonizing to him.

'_It's okay,'_ I mouthed to him, and he nodded and tried to relax as much as he was capable of in that moment.

His father, I assumed, pulled back just as his wife had done, and he gently placed his hand on Edward's cheek. "Welcome home son, please come in."

Edward reached for my hand, and I gave it to him quickly as we followed his parents in the house. Apparently Mary never told them the exact day or time we would arrive, so they weren't expecting us until a few days later.

"How are you? Have you been okay? I know Chief Swan said you were in some trouble with the law, but it's all behind you now?" his father asked awkwardly. It was a strange reunion, but it must have been very difficult for them. _What was one supposed to say to a man that they didn't know, who used to be their little boy?_

"Uh…yeah, I'm fine…" Edward froze and stared at the ground in front of the couch in the living room.

"Edward?" I whispered as I rubbed his arm, trying to break the trance he was in. He slowly lifted his eyes to meet mine, and then he shook his head before grabbing me tightly and pulling me out of the house.

"What's wrong?" I asked as he walked us to the edge of the front lawn.

"I don't want you in that house," he said forcefully.

"Uh…okay," I said slowly, full of concern.

"Anthony, what's wrong?" his mother asked Edward gently.

"Why do you still live in that house?" he asked bitterly, and then grabbed my hand before walking away from his mother.

"That house?" I asked confused, and then I realized what made him so upset. His parents still lived in the house where Edward was taken from, and Elena was murdered in. I didn't understand why anyone would continue to live in a place where so much violence had occurred, but my only concern was Edward in that moment. _What was something like that going to do to his mind?_

"Are you okay?" I asked him as we continued to walk down the street.

"I just…" he pressed his lips and shook his head, "I don't like the thought of you there. Whenever I think about what happened, it may be twisted, but I always see you in place of Elena, and it makes me sick. I don't know what I'd do if something ever happened to you like that…"

"Edward, look at me," I demanded. "I am not Elena. I was in Aaron's presence, and I'm still alive. He didn't kill me, or you, and he can't hurt anyone ever again."

"I know that, and I may be crazy, or whatever, but I still don't want to be there, and I definitely don't want _you_ there. Let's just go back to the hotel, and I'll….clear my head and then see about meeting them somewhere else."

"Okay," I said with a reassuring smile.

Edward pulled out his cell phone and called a cab to meet us at the corner liquor store. When we got back to our hotel room, I wrapped my arms around him and kissed his neck. I figured the best way to 'clear his head' was to comfort him the way only I could. It only took him a second to catch up with my intentions, and he eagerly started removing my clothes.

Our bodies moved together in perfect harmonious ecstasy, like we were made just to be connected in that way. There was never any talking about sex with us, we never asked each other if we wanted to do it and in what position. We just completely let go and let our bodies explain exactly how we wanted to be touched, and the other always obliged. We knew each other better than we knew ourselves; he had a way of showing me exactly what would put me over the edge, when I had no idea myself, and vice versa.

It was never about sex itself; if we weren't together, neither of us would have any desire for sex with anyone else. It was just the intense need for us to be entirely connected, and as physically close as we could possibly get.

We had only been back together for a little over a week, but we were so in-sync, that it was like we were never apart. In fact, the only time we were ever _apart_ was when Carlie was around. We had more than made up for the time we lost, and I knew we would continue to do so; like before, I couldn't imagine my future without him.

We erupted into an explosive climax, and then let the gentle pulsating after-buzz, hum and calm our nerves.

When he started getting redressed, I wrapped my arms around his waist and kissed his bare chest before he had a chance to put his shirt back on. "I love you," I said, and then kissed his chest again.

He smiled, "I love you, too. Thank you for being here with me."

"There's nowhere else I'd rather be."

We got another cab to take us to Mary's house, and we were surprised to see the Masens waiting there for us.

"Anthony, I am so sorry. We didn't even think about the effect that house would have on you. If we had known you were even coming when you did, we would have suggested meeting somewhere else," Mr. Masen said regretfully. Everything had happened so fast before, that I didn't really take the time to notice how much Edward looked like his father. They were the same height with the same build. His chiseled facial bone structure and perfectly proportioned nose, was exactly like Mr. Masen's. However, Mr. Masen had brown eyes with dark brown hair which was seasoned with salt and pepper chunks on the sides.

"If you want us to leave we will, but please, give us another chance," Mrs. Masen said. Edward's mother was very pretty with delicate features. She had green eyes and the same uniquely colored bronzed hair as Edward had.

Edward glanced at me briefly, and then looked back at them and nodded. I knew he didn't really want to be there with them, but he was trying to consider their feelings, and give them the reunion that they obviously had needed for so long.

We all went in Mary's house, and sat in the living room uncomfortably. Edward made sure that he and I sat in the small love seat, so he didn't have to be too close to his parents. They started asking him questions, but it was difficult because they didn't want to upset him anymore by bringing up his past, though as parents, I'm sure they ached to know exactly how their son lived for so long without them. Edward wasn't purposely trying to be withdrawn from them, but after only giving short unelaborated answers to their questions, they turned their attention to me.

"So, um, I'm sorry, I didn't get your name before," Mrs. Masen said to me.

"Oh, I'm sorry. My name is Bella," I said feeling bad for have never introducing myself.

I could see both of them reflexively look down at the way my and Edward's hands were clutching each other like they were permanently fixed together.

"So, you two are a couple?" She asked curiously, but not wanting to be rude.

"Yeah, we're going to get married soon," I said casually without even thinking. I had no idea why I said that, it was completely unintentional, we had never talked about marriage before and I had no idea how he felt on the matter. Plus, we had only barely gotten back together after more than a year apart, and I knew we needed to give ourselves more time before taking such a big step.

I worriedly glanced at Edward, and though he was trying to hide it, I could see a smile playing on the edge of his lips.

"That's wonderful, but I do have to say that you look extremely familiar," she said hesitantly.

"Oh, I'm Mary's niece."

"You're Mary's niece?" she asked shocked. "How did you two meet?"

"We actually went to high school together in Forks," I explained slowly.

The Masen's were both stunned by the news of how small the world was, and the fact that Edward's kidnapper even put him in school in the first place.

"So, you have been together since high school?" Mr. Masen asked.

"No, he…left, and then we reconnected last year," I said carefully. There were definite aspects to our relationship that they never needed to know.

Charlie and Mary came in from the backyard and Mary introduced him to the Masens.

"You're Chief Swan? We talked on the phone. I had no idea that your daughter was in a relationship with Anthony," Mr. Masen said.

"Yeah, like I told you on the phone, it wasn't my place to divulge that kind of information," Charlie explained.

"Well, thank you for helping our son," Mr. Masen said.

"I didn't do anything but my job. In fact, if I had been more thorough at my job, you may have gotten your son back when he was in high school."

"Just the same, thank you for helping Anthony."

"My name is _Edward_," Edward said irritated after they repeatedly called him Anthony.

"Edward?" Mr. Masen asked confused.

"Before you were taken, you always pretended to be different people and go by different names," Mrs. Masen said quietly. "You had such a wonderful imagination, and you'd make us call you these pretend names and you'd keep up that persona for the whole day. I was sure you would become an actor when you grew up because you were just so good at it. Edward was the name you went by that day you were kidnapped. I was watching a soap opera that afternoon, and there was a character named 'Edward'. He was the richest most powerful man on the show, and you liked that idea. We were struggling for money then and so you said you were going to grow up and be rich like the character Edward, and that's why you were pretending to be him that day."

" 'General Hospital', Edward Quartermaine," I said quietly, mostly to myself.

"Yes, did you used to watch that show too?" Mrs. Masen asked me.

"Uh…no, not really, but my mom did and sometimes I'd watch it with her because there was nothing else on." I wasn't surprised by the soap opera tie to Edward's name; that _was_ the theme song he always used to hum in biology class. It would make sense that Aaron didn't know the real name of the little boy he kidnapped on a whim. He went to that house to kill Elena, and decided to take the boy as his apprentice after seeing him there. He was such a scared child, that he probably just told Aaron the first name he thought of and over time, he forgot what his name actually was.

"Wouldn't you prefer to move on with your life, and forget everything about what that man did to you. You don't have to go by the name he called you. You're Anthony Masen Jr. and I think it would be good for you to stop with the false aliases," Mr. Masen said. He was trying to word it carefully so he didn't offend his son, but Edward wasn't happy about the comment anyway.

"No. Wasn't Anthony Masen Jr. declared dead? Don't you even have a cemetery grave site for him, complete with the body of a young boy? Perhaps that name died with him," Edward said coldly. "I'm not that kid anymore, I would have never made it if I didn't let him go. I'm sorry for what you lost, but I'm not him, and I'm not going to pretend to be either."

"Um…legally, they have to dig up the grave and do DNA tests on the boy buried there. His murder has to be re-opened now that you're found and alive," Charlie said tentatively. He wasn't one to get involved when there was a tense discussion going on, but Charlie must have felt he had to say that.

"That poor little boy," Mrs. Masen said quietly.

"Look, we'll call you anything you want, but legally, your name is Anthony again," Mr. Masen said.

"Well, I guess I'll just have to change it then," Edward said defiantly.

I didn't understand Edward's apparent resentment towards the Masens, but he was entitled to his feelings. Maybe he felt like they just wanted him to return to being their little boy again, and he had no idea, or desire, to do that. Too much had happened to him just to go back to the beginning and forget everything else.

"Mommy, look what I found," Carlie said as she ran in the house from the backyard.

"Oh, a caterpillar. Cool," I said and then nudged her hand away so the insect wasn't in my face. Carlie looked at the Masens and blushed because she hadn't realized there were strangers in the room before she ran in enthusiastically. "Um…this is Mr. and Mrs. Masen," I told Carlie.

"Please call us Liz and Tony," Mrs. Masen said, while staring at Carlie like a deer in headlights.

"Hi," Carlie said shyly, and then sat on Edward's lap and melted into him.

"You have a daughter?" Mr. Masen said stunned.

"This is Carlie," I said quickly.

"Daddy, will you come outside with me to help me find a good place to put the caterpillar?"

"Sure," he said and then Carlie grabbed his hand and led him out back.

Liz and Tony both had tears in their eyes as they realized that they had a granddaughter.

"How old is she?" Liz asked me, trying to fight the tears.

"She turned nine in September."

"And, so, you got pregnant in high school?"

I nodded, "yep."

"But Anthony…_Edward_, didn't…"

"No, he didn't know I was pregnant when he had to leave. He met her last year," I said vaguely. Charlie huffed bitterly, then got up and went back outside. I knew Charlie was upset by my casual account of my pregnancy, but there was no way I'd ever tell them what really happened, and I was sure Charlie understood that as well.

"Would Anth.._Edward_, be okay with us having a grandparent relationship with her?" Tony asked me full of reserved hope.

"Edward has been through a lot, and he's not used to people wanting to be such a big part of his life. There are few people that he allows in through his hard walls that he surrounds himself with, but if you just take it slow and give him time, I think he'll warm up to you both," I told them.

"I'm so glad he has you," Liz said unexpectedly. "When we first found out he was alive, I just thought to myself, _what kind of man could he possibly be after being raised in such a way_. I never thought he'd be able to have a normal relationship or even function at all, especially after your father Chief Swan said he had been in trouble with the law. But he really seems to be very close to you, and your daughter seems enamored by him."

"Oh, she is. Carlie absolutely adores her father; they bonded right away, as soon as they met. Edward and I have always had a very…intense relationship. We have been through a lot, both together and apart, but we love each other very much. He's not completely past everything that happened, but he works on it every day."

Carlie came running back in the house after a few minutes, and immediately went to hug the Masens. "My dad said that you're my grandparents," she said with a smile. They looked at Edward surprised as he came and sat back next to me and held my hand again.

Carlie excitedly started telling her new grandparents everything about herself, and her presence completely broke the tension in the room, just like it always seemed to do. Carlie was a special girl who everyone was instantaneously taken with, it was impossible not to love her right away.

The Masens didn't ask Edward anymore personal questions, and didn't have any more issues with just calling him 'Edward'. They stayed for dinner, and Mary and Randall barbequed in the backyard. When Edward wasn't playing with Carlie, he stayed close by my side, but would speak indifferently to his parents whenever they were near.

We spent the next three days in the same fashion. We would all casually hang out at Mary's house, though by the end of our visit, I doubted they knew Edward any better than they had before we came.

"Are you sure you can't stay longer?" Liz asked sadly when they came to say goodbye.

"No, I'm on probation. I was only allowed four days, otherwise I could be arrested again," Edward said nonchalantly.

"Oh," Liz said uncomfortably, but Tony looked apprehensive about the subject.

"Why…why were you in prison?" Tony finally asked. Carlie was with Charlie and Mary in the kitchen getting snacks for the plane, so I was grateful she didn't hear. She still didn't even know that he had been in prison, and it wouldn't be good for her to find out either.

"Uh…we should get back to the hotel to get our bags," I said quickly, hoping to dodge the question.

"I was in jail for rape," Edward said abruptly. The Masens just stared at him incredulously, and I squeezed his hand, before lightly kissing his shoulder. I didn't have a problem talking about it anymore, but I really didn't think it was something he would want his parents knowing.

"But, you were innocent?" Tony asked fearfully.

"No," Edward said flatly. "But, this has been a nice visit, we should do it again sometime." And then, he got up and walked out the front door, leaving the rest of us in the living room speechless.

"Oh my god," Liz finally said before starting to cry.

"Mommy, do you want any pretzels for the trip?" Carlie asked as she came skipping into the room.

"Uh, no thanks," I said quietly.

"Why are you crying?" she asked Liz. "Are you sad that we're leaving?"

Liz nodded, and continued to cry, so Carlie hugged her.

"Where's dad?" Carlie asked me, so I looked out the window to make sure Edward was still in the front yard, and since I saw him standing out there, I told her she could go out with him.

"You obviously knew about this?" Tony asked concerned.

"Yes, it happened once a long time ago, but he only went to jail for it this last year."

"How, can you speak so lightly about it? Just because it only happened once, that's supposed to make it excusable?" Tony asked upset.

"I'm not excusing it, but it was an extenuating circumstance, and Edward isn't a threat to anyone else. He paid for it in jail, and he'll be on probation for another four years."

"I don't understand how you can be so calm about this, regardless of everything. How do you share your life with someone and trust him with your child knowing what he did? Why didn't you leave him right away as soon as you found out?"

"Carlie is _his_ child too, and he'd never hurt her. Edward was forced to do what he did by that man who took him. He was sixteen at the time, and he was extremely messed up afterwards," I said, knowing that to be true because I was forced to watch the video of the event.

"Bella, that's ridiculous. You don't need to continue to downplay what you went through that day," Charlie said irritated. "I understand the situation he was in, but you don't need to pretend that you didn't suffer too."

"I never said I didn't suffer from it, all I said was that it wasn't his fault."

"Wait, what are you talking about?" Tony asked confused. "Are you saying that he raped…_you_?"

"Yes, but like I said, it was a long time ago and he was forced to do it."

"How…how can you even stand to be near him after something like that?" Liz asked completely horrified.

"I love him very much. We have a daughter together and the three of us are a family. I forgave him for what happened, and if I can do that, then no one else has a place to hold anything against him. No one hates him more than he hates himself."

"Carlie was…" Liz asked after realizing she was conceived around the time I said it happened.

"Yeah, she was conceived during it, but she doesn't know that and I don't plan on ever telling her. Edward is everything to her, and I'm not going to let anyone come between that. We've been through a lot, and it took a long time for us to get back to being a family again, so I'm not ever going to give that up for anything."

The Masens were silent, not able to find the right words to voice their feelings, so I decided to get up so I could join Carlie and Edward outside."

"It was nice meeting you, and you have my number if you want to call later. Edward lives with us, so you can get a hold of him with that number as well. We should be going, we still have to get our stuff at the hotel before heading to the airport," I said to the Masens while placing my hand on the front door and motioning Charlie and Mary to start going as well.

"Thank you Bella. You are an extremely beautiful and strong woman, and I couldn't have handpicked anyone better as a daughter in law," Liz said and gave me a hug. "I never expected my son to have a life and despite…what he did and for whatever reason, I can see how much you truly love him."

"I do, with all my heart," I assured her, and then gave Tony an awkward hug as well, before walking out of the house. Tony was extremely upset about what Edward had done, it was obvious that he was a very conservative man with high morals, and crimes against women were inexcusable. He didn't come out to say goodbye to Edward, and Liz struggled with her desire to say goodbye as well. They still loved him, but finding a connection with him was much harder than they ever imagined. Liz did decide to come out, because above everything, a mother's love was unconditional.

Edward looked at me full of regret. "Bella, I'm so sorry, I have no idea why I said that," he said quietly as I reached for him. "I love you so much, I just wasn't thinking."

"It's ok," I whispered back, and then kissed him before stepping back so Liz could say goodbye.

"Please take care of yourself," she said while hugging him lightly and caressing his face, before turning and walking back into the house quickly. I could see how difficult the reunion was for all three of them, but as a mother myself, I really felt awful for her. Her only child was taken from her so violently, only for him to be found as an adult and have absolutely no way to connect with him again. But Edward needed time; he wasn't going to just completely change for them, the way he had for me.

We were all quiet on the way to the airport, so I spent that time really analyzing Edward's behavior and it became suddenly very clear. He was afraid of a relationship with them, so he tried to push them away. He had told me before, that he didn't ever go home because he knew he couldn't look his father in the eye after what he did, so instead of keeping quiet and hoping he never found out, Edward decided to just throw it out there. He wanted his father to pull back, he didn't want to feel something for them, only to have them reject him later after learning the truth. However, I knew he wanted some form of relationship with them deep down, otherwise he would have never told Carlie that they were her grandparents. He'd never want her to form that bond if he didn't plan on seeing it through. Edward just became scared as he knew his time with them was almost over, and he decided to push them away by telling them the worst part of him. I only hoped that Tony could find a way to get past what Edward did and just see him for who he has become, because that was the only way that Edward would ever let them in his life.

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***Please Review***


	24. Editing Life

**Innocent Sins**

A/N: **WARNING**, **this chapter contains CITRUS** (_adult sexual content_).  
*Just a little sweet lemony chapter that I was planning on writing differently, but like I said before, this story has completely taken a life of its own and I'm just going along with it. It is almost over, but I'm not going to say exactly when, because I really don't know. Maybe _one_ more chapter, maybe five; I won't know until I actually finish it. Thanks for sticking with me.

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~Chapter 24 – _Editing Life_~

BPOV

We spent the next few weeks trying to get back to some form of normalcy. Liz seemed to be getting into the routine of calling every couple of weeks or so, but she only ever talked to me or Carlie, and Edward didn't seem to have any desire to talk to her; we didn't hear from Tony at all.

Edward's and my daily relationship was similar to when we were together before everything fell apart, except now, we were actually much closer emotionally. I loved him so much before, but after really knowing everything he had been through and accomplished by just surviving, our relationship reached levels I never imagined really existed in life. We knew absolutely everything about each other, and I couldn't imagine two people being more connected and more in love.

Although I'd never tell him, and it may seem crazy, I was actually comforted by the fact that Edward was the one who hurt me that day, almost a decade ago. I used to envision my attacker as some horrible monster and the idea of his blood running through Carlie freaked the hell out of me, though I'd never admit that. But after learning the truth, I look back on that day as if we were _both _raped in a way, both forced to do something against our will. It was a traumatic event, and in a way, almost made me feel closer to him for having experienced it together. Edward was the only man who had _ever_ been inside of me, and I was entirely grateful for that.

Edward and I were hardly apart. Since I had missed so much work before when I went back to Forks, and then to miss two weeks as I renewed my relationship with Edward, I was basically fired. Carlisle had taken a leave of absence so he could help Edward for that three months, so he wasn't the chief of staff at that point, and wasn't able to save my job for me. Carlisle decided to not go back to work right away; instead he and Esme reopened their house for teens and young adults who needed help. Carlisle had made some amazing moves in the stock market, which would more than pay to keep the charity house afloat for a few years.

Even though I was back to being unemployed, I was actually extremely happy. Edward's lawyer had somehow managed to keep his estate in his name, even in prison, and so we were living _more_ than comfortably. He put my name on everything so I'd have access to however much I needed for whatever reason, and if anything ever happened to him, everything would automatically go to me, with a savings account set up for Carlie after she turns eighteen. Edward was very smart when it came to finances, he said Carlisle had showed him everything he needed to know, and numbers always came easily to him anyway.

If I wasn't absolutely loving being home with Edward all day, not having a job would have driven me mad, whether I needed the money or not. As time went on, Edward slowly started writing music again, as well as book editing from home, so I decided I should probably find something productive to do as well. Since money wasn't a concern, Edward suggested that I figure out what I really wanted to do, so I took a few months to think about it. Esme said I'd be a great psychologist because of how well I understood Edward, but really, I just knew Edward's heart entirely, and I knew I'd never be able to read a stranger's emotions in that way.

"Come here, look at this," Edward said to me one day as he was editing a book he just received from the company he worked for.

"What is it?" I asked curiously.

"Just read it. I actually have to go to a meeting, and I'm running behind with this book so I was hoping you could help me with it."

"I'm not educated enough to do a proper editing job," I told him, not wanting to mess it up.

"Really? Cause I bet you know way more than you think. Please, I really need your help," he asked sneakily, and then he leaned in to kiss me. What I thought was just a simple sweet kiss, quickly became more sensual as his tongue probed my lips, searching for an entrance. I opened my mouth and let our tongues meet happily, and I immediately became aroused. His hand caressed my knee, before sliding up under my skirt towards my panties, and then he strategically missed my sensitive folds and opted for gently rubbing back down in the crease of my inner thigh.

"Ugh, what are you doing?" I moaned knowing he was torturing me on purpose.

"I need help," he whispered in my ear. His warm breath sent chills down my spine and made my body practically beg for him to take me right there in the kitchen.

"So you're trying to seduce me so you'll get what you need?" I accused breathlessly as I tried to calm the pulsating buzz I was feeling all over my body.

"I don't know, are you seducible?" he asked slowly with a deep husky voice that proved he was as close to the edge as I was.

"Maybe," I said but then his hand returned to my panties and his fingers slid under the elastic band before gently caressing my delicate folds. "Okay, I'm definitely seducible," I said as I started panting from the amazing feeling of his touch. "Edward, please…make love to me," I said brokenly between huffs.

He kissed me before lifting me up so I was sitting on the counter, where I kicked off my panties and waited there eagerly while he pulled his pants down. He stood in front of me as he positioned himself between my legs and pushed in while letting out a low moan from deep inside his chest. I grabbed onto him securely while pulling him closer so I could tangle my hands in his hair as he thrust into me.

My whole body succumbed to his, so my head fell back uncontrollably and he kissed my exposed neck, letting his tongue and lips make a trail down to my collar bone, before continuing down to my breasts. I still had my shirt on, so he paused his thrusting long enough to get my shirt over my head, and then he continued with both the kissing and the thrusting. He grasped my hips tightly as he pounded into me harder, and I clawed my hands down his back making him whimper erotically and thrust even faster.

Every muscle in me tightened and my toes curled as my intimate internal walls clinched around him. "_Uuhh_" Edward moaned again as he released his warmth deep inside me. "I love you so much," he whispered as he tried to catch his breath.

"I love you too," I said inaudibly, but he understood and smiled against my lips as he kissed me.

"I really have to go," he mumbled but didn't break his mouth away from mine.

"No," I protested. I locked my hands behind his neck and wrapped my legs around his waist, imprisoning him against me. He was still inside of me, so I arched my back scooting my hips forward slightly so he went in even deeper, which sent another wave of desire over us, and he began rocking again. Since it was our second round in such a short time, we both came a lot quicker and before I could force him to stay inside me to wait until we were ready for the third, he pulled out and buttoned his pants quickly.

"Ugh," I complained.

"Babe, I'm sorry, but I really have to go. I promise, we'll pick up right here when I get back."

"You better be back before we have to get Carlie from school," I ordered. I was still sitting on the counter practically _naked_, so he came back over to me quickly and rubbed me tenderly which made me reflexively grind my pelvis against his hand. He shot his tongue in my mouth and massaged mine, making me groan against his lips as his fingers continued to work between my folds.

He broke his lips away from mine, so I whimpered.

"Don't worry baby, you always come first," he said softly before lowering himself so his mouth could finish the job that his fingers had started. He moved my legs so they were resting on his shoulders as his tongue circled my swell, which he alternated with eager kisses, sending me completely over the edge into an explosive orgasmic finally."

"Where did you ever learn to do that?" I asked out of breath after collapsing back onto the counter.

"Soap operas," he said with a smile and a wink as he grabbed his notebook.

"What the hell kind of soaps have you been watching?" I asked and he laughed before heading to the door. "Uh, aren't you going to…wash up…or something?"

"No," he said, sounding repulsed by the thought. "Don't worry, I won't kiss anyone," he joked.

"Ugh, you're disgusting,"

"No, this way I take you with me," he started laughing as my face became twisted into utter disturbance, but I couldn't help but smile despite myself. "Please look at the book for me?"

"Okay, I love you."

"I love you too," he said and then walked out the door.

Edward had come a long way in the six months since we had been back together. We had very intense, eternal, other worldly feelings for each other, but we also enjoyed the same perks most normal couples did, including exploring new sexual escapades. We discovered that world together, and we could never get enough.

After getting redressed, I grudgingly picked up the book Edward had been editing, though it wasn't really a book at all. It was more like a binder full of pages and pages of a rough story outline. I looked at it confused because I had thought editing just meant correcting grammar errors and whatnot, but this book needed to be completely put into a proper reading text. I started reading the fictional fantasy story about vampires and werewolves, and thought the whole thing was ridiculous, but the point to editing a story had nothing to do with actually liking the material, so I painstakingly started converting the content into something readable.

After about an hour, I started getting completely engrossed in the work, and I found myself actually enjoying it. Sure, I never really liked the story, but I could easily see myself spending hours at a time in the world of literature, reading and helping writers work out the kinks in their stories. I always loved reading, but since high school, I never really had the time to lose myself in the written word. However, with Carlie safely in school most of the day, and me not having a job, I could see myself falling in love with books again.

"Hey, how's it going?" Edward asked quietly. I didn't even hear him come home, but I immediately threw down the papers I was reading, and jumped into his arms.

"Mmm, I missed you so much," I said before kissing him.

He chuckled. "I was only gone for three hours."

"You were gone that long?" I asked surprised.

He laughed again, "You really missed me huh? I bet you didn't even really know I was gone," he teased.

"I did too, I have just been…busy," I said with a grin as the smirk on his face was growing to a full fledge wide mouthed smile. "You did this to me on purpose, didn't you? You knew I'd get into this, I bet you didn't even have a real meeting," I said with mock offense.

"No, I did have a meeting….it just ended two and a half hours ago, and I've been hanging at Alice and Jasper's ever since," he said sheepishly.

"Ooo, you are really going to pay for that," I said but his smile only grew.

"Really? What's my punishment?"

I dragged Edward into the bedroom by his ear, and thought to myself as we made love, -_how could this possibly be punishment?_ But I didn't care, he proved once again how well he knew me by forcing me to try editing.

"How did you know I would like it?" I asked as I laid across his bare chest in complete bliss.

"I remembered you saying that's what you wanted to do," he said softly.

"When?" I asked confused.

"High school. You mentioned one day how much you loved the idea of being a book editor. Why the hell do you think I became one?" he said lightly, but I knew he was serious.

"You actually became an editor because of me?" I asked incredulously. "Because of something I said offhandedly as a seventeen year old naïve girl? I don't even remember telling you that."

"Well, you didn't. I overheard you talking to Angela one day, I think it was at lunch or something. You just had so much enthusiasm and passion about the book thing, that I decided it must be something as amazing as you made it out to be. Of course, I really can't stand it, but I guess in a way it made me feel connected to you somehow."

"You really hate doing it?" I asked skeptically.

"Yes," he said bluntly. I've always enjoyed science and music, and since I'm actually with you now, I really don't need the editing thing to keep me going anymore."

"Why have you continued to do it for so long then?"

He shrugged. "I think I just _now_ realized all of that. My brain has been so cloudy for so long, that I just needed time to stop working on autopilot. The longer we're together, the more I feel like I'm finding out who I really am, and I really…_loath_ editing."

I started laughing hysterically. I laughed so hard that my stomach actually hurt from it, and I had a hard time catching my breath. He laughed too, but it was more like he was laughing at my hysterics, as opposed to _what_ I was laughing at.

We finally got out of bed and got cleaned up in preparation for Carlie to come home from school. A few days later, I enrolled in the state college and planned to major in English literature. Going to college would be much easier to stick with the second time around. I wasn't worried about supporting Carlie financially, and I could take as much or as little time as I needed to get the credits to graduate. Edward decided to quit his editing job and concentrated on music, which he continued to make an obscene amount of money at. I couldn't imagine our lives being closer to perfect, but then Edward proved me wrong by asking me to marry him.

"Bella, I love you so much, and for some unknown, unbelievable reason, you love me too. My life never had meaning without you and _until_ you, you are absolutely everything to me. I am who I am right now, because you loved me enough to…_forgive_ all my faults and love me unconditionally. I need you with me all the time, everyday, otherwise I just simply don't exist. I owe you my life, and everything I have for the rest of our forever, will be completely dedicated to making you happy. You've given me a life, a daughter, a family, and in return I will give you everything within my reach, and everything beyond. I swear, I will stop at nothing to provide you the life that you deserve. Will you do me the extraordinary honor of becoming my wife?"

Most women dream of the fabulous settings they would be proposed to in, but at that moment, I had no idea where we even were because my entire world was there in his eyes. I knew my life would be spent with him since our first adult conversation in the hospital cafeteria, and perhaps I knew in high school too, after listening to his soul that evening I heard him sing. But the idea of making it official, and legal, was just so incredible that I wanted it more than anything. I would have been happy just being with him without marriage, I didn't need a piece of paper to say how tied to him I was, but it was definitely a bonus.

"Yes, of course I'll marry you," I whispered with a smile and tears rolled down my face. He grinned widely before wrapping me in his arms and holding me like I had just giving him the most precious gift, and I guess, I did. We were going to be together forever and I knew that nothing would make either of us happier.

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***I guess that could have been a good ending, but I want to write the wedding and a better reunion with the Masens. Lol. Please Review***


	25. Almost There

**Innocent Sins**

~Chapter 25 – _Almost There_~

BPOV

"So, you're going to let Alice plan everything? The dress, the flowers, the guest list, I mean, who knows who she's going to invite," Edward said with a chuckle.

I shrugged. "I know how important it is to her, and I'm horrible at planning things."

"We could always just go to Vegas," he said with a hopeful crooked smile.

"Nope, you're on probation."

"I heard the courthouse is beautiful this time of year," he joked.

"No. Carlie and Alice are super excited about the whole big wedding thing, and if you don't care, and I don't care, then let's just do what will make them happy."

"Alice, would get over it, but if Carlie really wants the whole wedding thing, then I'm all for it."

"Good," I said and kissed him quickly before grabbing my car keys.

"You know, maybe we should rethink the whole school and work thing. I think you should just stay here with me all day," Edward complained as I headed out the door for class.

"You know, absence makes the heart grow fonder," I said with a wink.

"I have to thoroughly disagree with that statement."

"Are you saying that you love me less the more time we spend apart?"

"No, loving you less isn't possible, but I do love you more and more every second I spend with you."

"Well, it's a good thing I'll only be gone for a few hours then," I said before rushing back to him for another kiss. "I'll be back soon."

Since I already had my associates' degree, I was able to start my bachelors program right away, and I absolutely loved every minute of my advanced literature classes. I truly felt that my life had finally fallen into the exact perfect place, and I couldn't possibly be any happier.

When I was walking to the parking lot after classes, I saw a police car parked behind my car, blocking me in.

"Great," I said frustrated. I had planned to hurry home so I could make love to Edward before Carlie got off of school, but it appeared I was going to be delayed. I saw the officer bent over looking under the back of my car, but I had no idea why.

"Um, excuse me, is there a problem?" I asked trying to disguise my bitterness from being forced to miss my afternoon love session.

"Hey Bells," Jacob said as he stood up.

"Oh, hey Jake. What are you doing here, and what's wrong with my car?"

"Nothing, it's just a freaking amazing beast. Where the hell did you get this thing?"

"Edward forced me into it, why?"

"I just never saw one before. I didn't think they sold them in the US yet."

"That must be the reason why everyone stares at me when I drive and there is always a crowd waiting for me after classes," I said and reminded myself to make Edward pay for embarrassing me with the ridiculous car.

"What's so funny?" Jake asked me. I didn't realize that I was smiling at the thought of making Edward 'pay' for the car thing, I always loved _my _form of punishment.

"Nothing, what's up with you?"

"Well, I was driving by this morning and I saw you in this car, but I was on my way somewhere else. I was just passing by again and had some free time, so I figured I'd come check it out. But now that you're here, I wanted to ask you something."

"Okay, shoot."

"Did I really get a wedding invitation in the mail?"

"Uh, I'd assume so, but Alice is handling all that so I can't be sure."

"Are you really going to marry Edward?" he asked incredulously.

"Yes, why?" I asked slowly.

"After everything he did to you, you really are planning to spend the rest of your life with that jerk?"

"Jake look, I really don't care what you or anyone else thinks about it. If you disagree with it, then don't come, but I'm kind of in a hurry, so can you please move your car so I can leave," I said angrily. I had enough people's feelings to worry about, and I wasn't going to waste one second worrying about him.

"Where are you going in such a rush?" he asked rudely.

"I'm trying to make it home in time to fuck my fiancé before our daughter gets home from school. What the hell difference does it make to you?" I said aggravated.

"I really hope you know what you're getting yourself in to." Jacob said quietly before getting into his cruiser and driving away.

I drove home fast, going went through every yellow light, and when I still had an hour left before it was time to pick up Carlie, I excitedly hurried into the building and straight to the elevator. I practically ran to the condo door and went inside, but then I froze when I realized that Edward wasn't alone. _It just really wasn't my day._

"Charlie, I'm sorry, but that's just the way it is, I'm not going to change it for you," Edward said calmly, but I could hear the tension behind his words.

"Damn it! It just aint right, the whole thing is completely ridiculous, I'm sure you can even see that," Charlie said heatedly. I was going to round the corner so they could see me, and then ask what they were arguing over, but I decided to stay hidden by the door and just listen for a minute.

"I'm not going to change my mind about it. It's the right path for us, you just need to accept it," Edward said sternly.

"This isn't going to end well; she'll find out and get upset."

"No, I'll explain exactly what happened, she'll be fine. Besides, she trust me, she'll believe anything I say."

"DAMN IT!" Charlie yelled unexpectedly. I rarely ever heard him yell, and it scared me but I didn't want to interrupt because whatever they were arguing over was a big deal and I didn't want them to stop and try to hide everything if they knew I was there.

"Charlie, you _need _to calm down."

"Don't you dare tell me to calm down, you did this and you have no right to talk to me like that. I warned you the last time that if you ever did anything like that again, I wouldn't hesitate to kill you."

"You really don't want to go down that road, I let you beat me before, but I will not sit back and let it happen again. If you even try it, I swear, you will not walk away from it," Edward threatened, and I knew I had to intervene.

"Fine, let's do it," Charlie goaded.

"What the…." I started to say as I walked into view, but then I had to catch myself, "_hell is going on_?" I finished quietly. I had never seen such a sight before, and I knew the image would be ingrained in my mind for the rest of my life.

"Hi babe," Edward said casually with a smile, Charlie refused to look at me.

"What are you two doing?" I asked quickly as Edward stood to greet me with a kiss.

"YES! IN YOUR FACE, SUCKER! I told you I was going to kill you, HA beat that!" Charlie said enthusiastically, Edward ignored him.

"Oh, I was just trying to teach Charlie how to play 'Face Punch'," Edward said with a smirk.

"I told you I'd win. It only took fifteen rounds, but I won."

"Charlie, I put the controller down to kiss Bella," Edward said annoyed by Charlie's gloating.

"Well, it's not my fault she came home. You should have stayed focused."

"Whatever," Edward said under his breath. "I don't think you should keep playing, it's probably raising your blood pressure."

"I'm as healthy as a horse. Come on Bella, come try to kill your dad," Charlie said eagerly.

"Uh, no thanks. I don't get it, you said something like, '_she'll be upset if she finds out'_. What did you mean by that?" I asked even though it was Charlie who made that comment.

"I let Charlie play using Carlie's character. _And he lowered her score by two hundred points_," he said irritated.

"What happened to '_she trusts me, she'll believe anything I say_'," Charlie said mockingly to Edward.

I just stared at my father completely dumbfounded. "What has gotten in to you?" I asked him.

"I really don't know," he said hopelessly. "It's this damn game. These video games are worse than any drug on the market. I can't believe you let Carlie play these things."

"Carlie is mature enough to know that it's just a _game_," Edward muttered.

"Hey now, you don't have to be a sore loser," Charlie said arrogantly.

"OK, ENOUGH!" I yelled at him.

"Sorry," Charlie said like a misbehaving child. I shook my head at him incredulously.

Edward sat back down on the couch, so I went and sat with him on his lap.

"How was school?" he asked after kissing my shoulder.

"Good," I said and then turned my body so I could rub the back of his neck and play with his hair. I may have been more uncomfortable with the PDA in front of Charlie, but he was so engrossed in playing again, that he didn't even notice us.

Charlie and Edward had definitely come a long way with each other. When we told him that we were getting married, I think Charlie finally understood that I wasn't having false irrational feelings for him. Charlie had to accept my choice to be with Edward, and in doing so, he could see the very real and very deep love we had for each other. Anyone who was around us could see our emotions, because they were uncontainable.

"So dad, you didn't call…_again_," I said. I really didn't mind Charlie coming over unannounced, except for the fact that he seemed to be doing it a lot lately and he always had to spend the night because Forks was three hours away. I was extremely uncomfortable the first few times he stayed over with us, though I didn't think he heard anything, I felt awkward having sex with Edward knowing my father was in the next room over. But the more he came, the less I cared; I wasn't going to let his presence stop me from making love to the man I loved, we just had to keep it quiet, which was hard. Carlie slept like a rock, so we never worried about being too loud for her, once she was fully asleep.

"Dad?" I said again, because he didn't answer me.

"Huh? What? Oh, sorry Bells, what did you say?" he said while turning his head towards me but still looking at the screen and pushing buttons on the game controller.

"Okay, I had enough," I said and then grabbed the remote and tuned the TV off.

"What, why did you do that?" Charlie asked offended.

"You're addicted dad, you need an intervention."

Edward started laughing so Charlie shot him a death glare.

"So, you said you were working this weekend so I wasn't expecting you here on a Friday."

"Oh, right, well, I took tomorrow off so I could come to talk to the two of you in person."

"What's up? Did you finally ask Sue to marry you?" I asked teasingly.

"No, but she has basically moved in with me, that's a start. No listen, I have some important news. Aaron's court date has been bumped up to the end of the month. The prosecution is going for the death penalty, but the defense is claiming insanity."

"So, what if he's found to be insane?" Edward asked.

"Well, he's definitely insane. The question is whether he is fit to stand trial at all, little alone go to a regular prison and be sentenced to death."

"So, you're saying he could end up in a metal hospital instead of prison?" I asked horrified.

"No, it will be a highly secured insane asylum," Edward said quickly. "Nothing like what I was in."

"Wait, you knew about this?" I asked surprised.

"Liam mentioned that it was a possibility. But Carlisle made sure I was in an actual hospital, where he'll be in one of those places where they keep him in a straight jacket and locked to the bed at night."

"And that's reassuring to you?" Charlie asked him.

"Well, no. But the truth is those places probably keep better tabs on the prisoners than the actual prison does. Really, I think all serial killers are crazy, because no normal person would do those things."

"I guess I can see that," Charlie agreed. "But I still think that son of a bitch needs the death penalty."

"I thought you didn't believe in the death penalty?" I asked.

"Well, I do in this case."

I was really starting to see a change in my father. The more time he spent with Edward, the more I could see him actually becoming fond of him, and like me, Charlie really saw Aaron as being solely responsible for my rape.

"But, we really won't know anything until the hearing?" I asked.

"Psychologists are currently evaluating him and going over everything, so they'll have a decision if he's fit to stand trial before it begins at the end of the month," Charlie said.

"Well, that's at least something. I'm just glad everything is finally moving forward," I said.

"After the trial, we'll never have to see that bastard again," Edward said soothingly.

"After the trial? I didn't know you were planning on going."

"I have to testify. I thought you knew that."

"No, I didn't."

"After he's sentenced, then I have to go back on trial to see if I get charged with accessory to murder."

"Wait, what? I thought all that was dropped since you were a minor at that time."

"No. Liam said that they can't convict me, but I still have to go to trial."

"UGH, that is so unfair," I said bitterly.

"It'll be over soon, and then we'll get married and you'll graduate and start your own book editing company. We'll have one point five more kids…"

"What?" I asked surprised.

"What?" he said confused.

"What did you just say?"

"Oh, well I thought you would prefer to open your own company. Don't worry; we can afford to fund it until it gets off the ground."

"No, I meant about the _one point five kids_ thing?"

"Isn't the norm to have like _two point five kids_? We already have Carlie so we're _almost there_; we only need one point five more. Maybe we should just round it out to five."

I raised my eyebrows. "Five?"

"What, you want more?"

"Uh…I don't know. I guess I never really thought about having more kids. It's just that I'm going to school now and I really don't want to stop long enough to go on maternity leave. Having a baby is exhausting. I just don't know if I have the energy to do the midnight feedings and all the diapers and…"

"Bella. If you don't want to have any more kids, that's fine. I have more family with you and Carlie then I ever even dared to dream of having, but you make it sound like you would have to do it all yourself. I'm here now, I would do as much as you needed me to do, more than fifty percent if you were working full time."

Edward's comment completely took me aback. For some reason, when I thought about another baby, I'd just think about how hard it was taking care of Carlie. I counted on Edward completely to help with Carlie now, he took her to school, did homework, and even made her lunches, but when thinking about a baby, I just thought I'd have to do everything myself. But he was right, I wouldn't be alone and I loved the idea of raising a baby from the beginning with him.

"Okay. After we get married, I'll go off the pill."

"Neh neh neh, can you just save _that_ talk for when I'm not in the room," Charlie said as if I completely disgusted him by saying 'pill'. "Not that it's any of my business, but I'd like more grandkids. I always wanted three or four kids myself."

I rolled my eyes and shook my head.

"After the wedding? Don't you want to finish college first?" Edward asked me, ignoring Charlie.

"No. I think I can still concentrate on school while being pregnant. And as soon as I graduate, I really want to get to work right away. I love the idea of opening a company, but that's going to take a while and I won't be able to take time off right away."

"I don't want you having a baby just for me," Edward said.

"Are you kidding? I can't wait to feel your baby inside me again, I just didn't really think about it before. I'm really excited…really," I said doubtlessly.

Edward pulled me closer to him, and kissed me passionately.

"Okay, well, why don't I go pick up Carlie," Charlie said uncomfortably then got up and grabbed his coat.

"Thanks dad," I mumbled as he walked out the door.

Edward scooped me up, and ran me to the bedroom for a quickie. It wasn't the long drawn out love making I was hoping for earlier, but it was definitely enough to hold me over until bedtime.

He knew how desperate I was for a release at that moment, and we didn't want to waste time on pleasant foreplay, so he laid back and let me take control. I tore off my clothes and straddled his waist, before aligning his tip to my opening. "UUhhh!" I moaned euphorically as I took him all the way in, as deep as possible. Even before climaxing, having him inside of me was an extremely welcomed relief after missing him for half the day.

I just sat on him for a few moments as I cherished the feeling of being attached in that way, but then I couldn't hold on to sanity anymore and completely let all other thoughts go, as my body just instinctually started rocking. Our bodies always ached to be connected, as if we weren't physically complete without the other, and we always let them take total control.

I leaned forward and grabbed onto the headboard as my pace sped. He matched my movements with upward thrusts, and held tightly to my hips. I loved watching his facial expressions as he enjoyed the erotic feelings of thrusting into me. He was so beautiful and so fucking sexy as his eyes rolled back and he constricted his facial muscles as he neared orgasm. He gripped me harder and pushed and pulled to increase the intensity of our drive, which only sent me over the edge way too soon. I wanted to prolong the feeling, but I was powerless against him; when he wanted me to cum, I had no choice but to comply. I had no idea how he knew how to do that, but he did it every time. When we were constricted on time, he always knew the exact way to get the job done quickly.

…

The rest of the month was full of school, and wedding plans. Alice and Angela were constantly over as co-maids of honor, and were busy discussing every little detail. I was pretty bored with the endless cake and flower options, so I spent that time doing homework or studying, which my best friends didn't even seem to notice.

The wedding was set for August, which was still a couple months away, but we still had a major hurdle to get over first. As the end of the month rapidly approached, I started bracing myself for the horror of seeing Aaron again at his trial. I trusted Esme when she told me that Edward was mentally and emotionally strong enough to handle it, and I trusted Liam when he said Edward wouldn't be charged with being an accomplice, but I still worried beyond anything.

* * *

***Please Review***

_*If you've heard about a certain upcoming movie which had NEW pics leaked, I just wanted to say that I do not condone the viewing or distributing of these pics….but I may have accidently seen them and saved them, and the movie is going to be AWSOME! ;) We all know the story, so the pics aren't surprising and most were already done in manips, but there is something about seeing the real actors in those scenarios that makes everything so much more exciting. Yeah, is it November yet? Lol._


	26. Then and Now

**Innocent Sins**

~Chapter 26 – _Then and Now_~

BPOV

"So, how have you been feeling lately?" Angela asked at lunch one day.

I shrugged. "I just want this trial to be over so we can move on with our lives, and never think about the monster again," I said feeling exhausted from just the thought of it.

"But, you and Edward are okay?" she asked concerned. Angela was the only person in my life that always supported my feelings on Edward one hundred percent, even from the beginning of our renewed love. The Cullens, of course, loved Edward but wanted what was best for both of us, and weren't sure if that meant being together or not. Rose and Alice just seemed to want us back together more than anything, no matter what, but Angela just wanted whatever I wanted. After I left her apartment that day I found out the truth, she did nothing but support me, and when I called her and told her that I was still in love with him, she stayed quiet and just listened so I could decide what was best for _me_, instead of forcing her opinion on the matter. Angela didn't judge Edward when we got back together either, she just treated him like nothing happened, because she knew that was exactly what I needed from her.

"Edward and I are great, we always are, but he's just way too calm about the whole thing. What if something does go wrong and he gets arrested for accomplice to murder, how am I supposed to live without him again?"

"_If _that were to happen, you know the Cullens are going to fight it, and so is your dad. Man, what is up with him following Edward around like that?"

"Ugh, you saw that too?" We had just had a pre-wedding get together at the Cullen's country house the weekend before, and Charlie wouldn't leave Edward alone for more than five minutes. I even saw him practically follow Edward into the bathroom once. "It started out as a protective thing for me. Charlie was constantly around just as a way to keep an eye on Edward because he didn't trust him, but now, it's like Edward is the son Charlie always wanted, or something."

"Well, that's good right?"

"Yeah, I guess, but it's really hard to sneak away to have a quickie when Charlie is following him around like a lost puppy all the time."

"That would be a problem. But I do wish that my dad got along with Ben a little better."

"They still don't get along?" I gathered.

"Well, he's Jewish, and my dad is a Christian Methodist minister."

"Yeah, but I thought he was warming up to the idea of you getting married to him."

"Nope. Every time they are nice to each other, I start to hope, but then my dad mutters something negative and it all goes out the window. I mean, we've been together for ten years for Christ sake."

I had to laugh at that one. It wasn't like a minister's daughter to say 'Christ sake' like that.

"I know, I know," she said with a smirk from my laughter.

"Have you tried talking to your dad about it?" I asked.

"Oh, my god. It's like a total high school reunion," one of the most annoying voices said. I looked up and saw Jessica standing there with a grinning Mike Newton.

"Hey, what a _coincidence_," Angela said, emphasizing 'coincidence' so I would know she didn't plan the meeting.

"Bella, it's been like a year and a half since I saw you last. In fact, wasn't it here, in this restaurant?"

"Oh right," I said irritated. _That was the day my life fell apart, thanks for reminding me, Bitch._

"What happened to you that day? You seemed pretty pissed off." Jessica asked as she flagged a waiter to bring two more chairs to our table.

"Uh…it was almost two years ago, who knows anymore."

"Right. Anyway, Mike and I are engaged," she said excitedly and shoved her hand in my face so I could see her ring.

"Oh wow, congratulations," I said quickly, wishing the two of them would decide to sit somewhere else.

"So, what's up with you ladies, how's your love lives been?" Jessica asked smugly, obviously hoping hers was better than ours.

"Well, funny enough, we're both engaged also," Ange said and Jessica's face dropped slightly. "And, we're all marrying someone from high school."

"I can't believe you are still with Ben after all these years, and have yet to get married. It's like _shit or get off the pot_, right? And Bella, are you still with Edward?"

"Angela and I exchanged an irritated look. "Yes, we're still together."

"Edward?" Mike finally asked. He seemed to become much quieter since high school, or perhaps Jess just talked so much that he was rarely ever able to get any words out.

"Oh, I never told you that Bella was with that Edward Jameson fre…_guy_," Jessica said. She was about to call Edward a freak, but thought better of it when I shot her an evil glare.

"No way. The mumbling guy with the weird hair and the guitar?"

"Well, that guitar, bought Bella this…" Angela said and grabbed my hand to show them my huge diamond ring.

"DAMN! Sorry babe, I can't afford something like that," Mike said to Jess.

"Wow, I knew Edward was loaded, but that is _huge_. Are you sure it's real?"

"Yes, it's real," I said frustrated with the whole conversation.

"Hey, let's all get together tonight," Mike said enthusiastically. "I'd love to see Ben again, we just to be tight, and well, I'd like to see _guitar hero_ too. I can't believe you're really with him, how the hell did that happen?"

"Mike, they were together in high school. Edward is Bella's daughter's father," Jessica said as if it was obvious, and I guess it was, which only made me feel stupid again for not knowing right away.

"No shit? When the hell did that happen?" Mike said, slightly disturbed. "You could have had any guy in that school, what made you choose that _off the wall_…guy?"

"And how the hell is it any of _your_ business?" Angela said defensively.

"No, it's okay Ange. Edward just had something that the other guys at Forks High didn't."

"And what's that?" Mike asked way too interested.

"A brain," I said bluntly. "Oh, and a really huge cock."

Mike spit the water he was drinking out of his mouth and nose, and Angela started cracking up. Mike was shocked I said that, Jessica looked jealous, and I just really didn't care about what either of them thought.

The waitress came and brought us our food and we talked lightly from then on. I had no desire to go out with them that night, but Angela just didn't know how to say no, and I didn't want her to suffer without my support, so I agreed to go as well.

I wasn't sure how Edward would feel about our couples' night out, but when I told him, he seemed perfectly fine with it. We were going out for dancing and drinks, so I wore one of the cocktail dresses Alice forced me to buy, and Edward looked way too sexy in perfectly fitted jeans and a black button down shirt. I had no idea how we were going to get through the night when he was dressed like that. The better dressed he was, the more I just wanted to rip the clothes off of him.

When we arrived at the club, I texted Angela to see where to meet them, and then we walked to their table.

"Hey, sorry we're late. We had to drop Carlie off at her sleep over," I explained.

Edward and I had been out with Angela and Ben a few times, but Jessica and especially Mike looked at Edward like he was an alien or something.

"You remember Mike and Jessica?" I said to Edward, even though I already knew he did.

"Hey, how are ya doing?" Edward asked before turning to Ben and Angela. "It's been a while, how are you two?"

"Good, we should really get together more often," Ben said friendly.

"For sure," Edward agreed. Ben and Edward were both pretty quiet guys so they didn't talk much, but they definitely didn't mind hanging out every once in a while.

"So, you've changed _a bit_ since high school?" Mike asked Edward.

"Yeah, that tends to happen sometimes."

"Do you still sing for open mics? I saw you once and you were pretty good."

_Did Mike actually give Edward a compliment?_

"Nah, I haven't done that…probably since you saw me that day. I think all the teasing and name calling I got at school, turned me off from it."

"Ah man, I'm sorry about that. You were really good; I think you could have really made a career for yourself in music."

"Well, I did. I write music and sell it to different artists. I also dabble in producing. I'm probably going to start my own production company in the next couple years, or so."

"Really? Have you ever worked with anyone famous?"

"Yeah."

"Well, who?" Mike asked eagerly.

"Justin Timberlake, Cee-lo, The Black Eyed Peas, Jason Maraz, Bruno Mars, Train, Rob Thomas. A bunch of artist really."

"Are you telling me that you wrote the 'Fuck you' song by Cee-lo?" Mike asked with wide eyes.

"Well, I helped him put his words into a proper form that could be sung."

"Wow…" Mike said astonished. "You are my new best friend. You and me, we're going to hang out…like all the time."

We spent the rest of the evening laughing and just hanging out. After several drinks, I started getting pretty tipsy, so Edward decided to take me home. I rarely ever got drunk, but the fact that the other girls and I were doing a bunch of shots, didn't help the matter either. The moment we were alone in the car, I immediately started unbuttoning Edward's pants.

"Uh, kind of driving here."

"That's okay," I said with my lips against his neck.

"Do you want me to pull over, or can we make it home first?" he asked knowing how aroused I was.

"Mmm, I can wait," I said and forced myself to sit back in my seat, but before I knew it, I was back at his neck and my hands were digging their way down his pants.

"Okay," he said after taking a deep breath. He pulled the car into a dark parking lot and I immediately climbed into his lap.

"Let's move to the back," I suggested after slamming into the steering wheel for the third time. I didn't wait for him to answer, I just climbed to the back seat and pulled his arm so he had to follow. Edward was a tall man, so just trying to get his pants down was hard. I looked out the window and didn't see any sign of people anywhere, so I crawled out from under him and got out of the car.

"Come on," I said seductively.

Edward smiled crookedly at me. "You have had _way _too much to drink."

"Oh, there's no one around."

"Hey, I wasn't complaining," he said before planting his lips to mine. He reached under my dress to pull down my panties, as I started unbuttoning his pants. He pressed his body against mine and lifted my leg to his hip as he pinned me against the car. It was sort of an uncomfortable however, because the car was too low to fully support our current position, and I really didn't want to lie back on the hood.

"Hey, let's try it like this," I whispered as I turned around and bent over slightly.

"Uh, what are you doing?" he asked strangely. "I thought you were uncomfortable doing it like that."

"If I'm asking you to, then just do it," I said impatiently.

"No, Bella, you're drunk."

"What is wrong with you? I'm not too drunk to know how to have sex, so why are you messing with me and holding out?" I said strongly. I may have said some other things as well, and I may have been shouting, but I couldn't tell.

"I'm not going to _fuck_ you from behind, outside, at night, against your car," he said bitterly, and then walked back around the car and got in the driver's seat.

"Edward?" I asked incredulously. I couldn't believe he actually left me standing there like a drunken idiot. Neither of us had ever denied sex to the other before, whether we were drunk or not, and my mind was far too wasted at the moment to analyze his behavior.

I sulked back into the car, and sat there silently pouting for the rest of the way home. I had no idea why, but I was upset, so I hurried into the building and when I got inside the condo, I stormed into our bedroom and slammed the door so he knew I wanted to be left alone. _What the hell was wrong with me?_

After sobering up with a few hours of sleep, I woke with a massive headache. Keeping my eyes shut, I rolled over hoping to feel him next to me, but the bed was empty and cold, he hadn't been there all night.

I didn't remember much from the night before, but I knew it wasn't good. We never had an argument or even really a disagreement of any kind, since being back together, so I was shocked that the night had ended like that. I wasn't even sure what the issue was, I only remembered that I slammed the door angrily and he never came in to have make up sex. _What good is fighting without that?_

I thought hard about what was said, and I realized that I needed to apologize. I opened the door sheepishly, expecting to see him lying on the couch, but he wasn't there. He wasn't in the condo at all. I looked at the clock on the wall and it was still early in the morning, so I knew he didn't go to pick up Carlie. I looked around to see if there was a note somewhere, but I didn't see anything. I picked up the phone and called his cell, but he didn't answer, so I started to panic.

We didn't ever get upset at each other, so what if he couldn't take it and decided to leave? What if he took off somewhere, and I'd never see him again? I didn't really believe that, because it didn't matter how angry he was, he'd never walk away from Carlie, I only wished I remembered what happened.

I sat for an hour obsessing about not knowing where Edward was, and then it suddenly came to me. I tried to get him to have sex with me from behind, and I had always shied away from that position because that's the way I was raped. He knew it, and I knew it, so we never did it that way; it was the _only_ position we never did.

I felt horrible, and I thought I was going to be sick. Edward didn't want relive that day anymore than I did, and I was sure he was extremely upset by my forcefulness. I started calling all the other Cullens frantically, but I couldn't get any of them on the phone. I called Rose and Emmett's but they weren't home, which was really upsetting because Carlie was supposed to be with them.

I didn't know what to do, so I actually started crying. I collapsed to the floor and sobbed uncontrollably, until finally the phone rang and I somehow managed to pull myself together enough to talk.

"Hello?"

"Oh, hey, you are there. Carlie wanted to talk to you but I didn't think you'd be there," she said.

"Angela? Why do you have Carlie?" I asked confused.

"Uh…because Rose brought her by early this morning," Ange said slowly. "Honey, did you have too much to drink last night?"

"Yes," I said and started crying again. "I don't get it, how are you functioning fine, and I'm a mess?"

"Well, you don't drink very often, so it affected you more. Are you okay?"

"Ok, back up. Why did Rose take Carlie to your apartment?"

"Bella, today is the preliminary hearing for Aaron's trial. I thought you knew that?"

"Oh my god," I said and actually fell over. "I'm ok," I said as I jumped up quickly. "I can't believe Edward didn't wake me up for that."

"Maybe he tried," Angela chuckled once. "Bella, I thought you weren't sure if you even wanted to go."

"I wasn't, but if Edward is there, then I need to be too." None of us actually had to be there, because it was just the preliminary, but I guess they decided to go after all. I looked back at the clock on my wall and it still said seven am, and that's when I realized it must have been broken.

"What time is it?" I asked her.

"Uh…eleven thirty."

"Eleven thirty?" I dropped the phone and ran to the shower, but then I went back. "Sorry, I need to go. Tell Carlie I love her and will talk to her later," I said in a rush and then hung it up.

The shower helped to clear my mind, and so I was able to hurry to the courthouse levelheadedly. After getting lost and having to ask four different people where Aaron's case was being held, I finally found the right room. I walked in quietly, but everyone still turned to look at me.

_Sorry,_ I mouthed to the judge. All the Cullens, and Charlie, were sitting on the benches, so I sat with them as quickly as possible. Edward looked at me and I smiled tentatively at him, which he returned and then held my hand. Despite the location, I immediately felt better just from being in physical contact with him.

"As much as I agree with your analysis of Mr. Jameson, I disagree. I believe he is fit to stand trial, and I see no reason to delay anymore," the judge said to someone who I assumed to be a psychologist. "The trial will begin on Monday. Everyone rest up over the weekend, because this is going to be an exhausting case," he said, and then hit his mallet against his podium.

"Well, he's right about that," Carlisle said dishearten.

"It'll be fine. But I was really hoping that bastard would be set free so I could tear his limbs off, one at a time," Emmett said disappointed, Rose rolled her eyes at him.

"You need to calm you emotions Emmett," Jasper said soothingly. "The judge wouldn't like any kind of outburst, so if you feel like you can't contain yourself, you shouldn't come to the real trial."

"I know, I know. Jeesh," Emmett said bitterly.

Edward squeezed my hand gently then released it and went to go talk to Liam, who was doing paper work on the other side of the room.

"How are you feeling, sweetheart?" Esme asked me sweetly.

"Uh….?"

"Edward said you weren't feeling well this morning."

"Oh, just nerves," I said uncomfortably.

"Yeah, the hangover kind," Emmett said with a chuckle. Carlie stayed at his place the night before, so he knew we had been out drinking.

"Shut up," Rose said while punching him in the ribs. "Bella has every right to let lose a little."

Charlie was sitting quietly, and I could see him shaking his head at the ridiculousness of me oversleeping on such an important day, and I agreed with him.

"So, did they bring Aaron in here at all?" I asked.

"No, they just discussed his mental evaluation, and then went over some other details."

"Ugh, I can't believe I missed this," I said guiltily, and then bent forward to hide my face in my lap. "I'm a horrible person."

"You didn't miss anything," Alice said supportively.

"It doesn't matter, I still should have been here."

"No one needed to be here, nothing happened," Emmett said, upset that he had to waste his day.

"Emmett," Esme scolded him.

"What?" he asked confused.

"Ready to go?" Edward said to me after walking back.

I nodded, so he wrapped his arm around my lower back, and led me to the parking lot. I felt horrible about everything, but I didn't want to get into it right then because I knew I'd just end up crying. I followed Edward home since we both had our cars there, and I was thankful to have gotten a text from Angela saying she was taking Carlie to an amusement park for the day. That would give Edward and me enough time to really talk.

"So, trial in two days," I said uncomfortably as Edward took off his coat and hung it in the closet.

"Yep."

"Edward, I'm really sorry. I have no idea what came over me last night. And then I oversleep and missed the hearing today, I just have no idea what's wrong with me."

"Bella, you don't have anything to be sorry about. So you had fun with your friends, it's not a big deal. And I purposely didn't wake you up this morning. I figured you'd have a migraine, and being there wasn't necessary."

"Edward…I know that what I did in that parking lot, was way…beyond appalling, and I'm so sorry. I promise to never drink again."

"Bella, really, you're upset over nothing. People say and do off the wall things when they are drunk, and I really didn't take any of it seriously."

"But I tried to get you to have sex with me in that position, and I know that wasn't just upsetting for me, it was for you too, and…."

"Bella, I'm fine with it….okay, well not _fine_, but if that's something you want to do, then we can, but not in a parking lot, not the first time."

"I'm sor.." I started to say, but he interrupted me by kissing me passionately. "I. Love. You," I said between kisses as I pulled him towards the bedroom.

After our clothes were off, I laid on my back and he moved between my legs. His kisses moved to my neck and I couldn't help but moan. He always had the perfect body kisses. He used the right amount of pressure, and tongue, but not too much. I realized from spending that morning agonizing over the sex thing, that it was really the only barrier left between us. I hated feeling like there was something that we couldn't do, and I decided that if he was willing to try it, I wanted nothing more in that moment.

"Edward, can we just try?" I asked breathlessly, and he knew exactly what I was talking about. I knew it could either set us back sexually and build an even bigger wall between us, or it could tear the wall down altogether and make us completely and utterly connected.

Edward didn't answer me verbally, but he pulled his weight back and I took that as a sign for me to roll over. He held my body against his, and kissed my neck and then shoulders and down my back. I always hated having my back so exposed, but I felt so incredibly close to him, and so turned on by our complete trust, that I just couldn't get enough of the feeling. His warm hands on my bare back, rubbing and kissing, was just beyond arousing that I wished I could bottle that feeling and hold on to it forever.

His hands massaged down my back and gently grabbed onto my butt with one cheek in each hand. His hands released their grip and then traced around my hips, which he gently lifted so my bottom was raised. He came back up my body so his chest was pressed against my back, and his hand reached around me so his fingers could circle my sensitive swell.

Edward positioned himself at my opening and pushed in gently, while keeping his fingers working between my folds. As he started rocking in and out of me, I actually did think about that horrible day when I was seventeen; but then I knew it was just him, both _then and now_, and I let go of that thought, in fact I let go of _every_ thought and just rocked with him. That position allowed for much more movement from both of us, and I could see it easily becoming one of my favorites.

He kissed my neck as he thrust harder, and I wrapped one hand behind me so I could grab onto his hair. Our bodies were so tightly pressed together, that I wasn't sure where my body ended and his began. Just when I got close to the edge, he would slow down his pounding and prolong the euphoria even longer. We pushed and pulled until it was impossible to resist the awaiting climactic bliss, and I grasped the bedding beneath my hands, as if I was holding on for dear life from the explosion.

Every time we made love was absolutely amazing, but for some strange reason, that time was probably the best yet. It wasn't possible to get closer to him, both physically and emotionally. We truly became one person, or perhaps _two_ imperfect people uniting to make _one_ perfectly complete soul.

* * *

**A/N: Okay, what is up with all these sex scenes lately? When I finish writing a chapter, I read it over and ask myself '**_**what the hell?**_**' lol. I think with this story in particular, the love making between the main characters is important, given their history. IDK, any thoughts? Is it too much? **


	27. Best Yet

**Innocent Sins**

~Chapter 27 – _Best Yet_~

BPOV

After experiencing the most amazing love making thus far, I had another first by blissfully falling asleep with him spooning me. I usually slept across his chest or cuddled to his side, but having him hold me from behind surprisingly made me feel incredibly safe. I napped for a few hours in his arms and then I woke up remembering Carlie was going to come home soon.

"It's ok, Angela texted me saying Carlie fell asleep after the amusement park, so she's going to sleep at her apartment tonight," Edward murmured, knowing why I was trying to wake myself up. I smiled and laid back in his arms and happily went back to sleep.

I had the sweetest and most wonderful dreams all night, so when I woke up alone in the morning, I was taken completely off guard.

"Edward?" I asked curiously. My first thought was that I overslept again and had forgotten about another important event, but I had a fuzz free mind, and I knew there was nothing. I got dressed then looked around the condo for him but like the morning before, I was alone and in the most horrible déjà vu.

I waited around for what felt like hours, hoping he was just getting coffee or picking up breakfast take-out, but I couldn't stand it any longer. I picked up the phone and called his cell, but he didn't answer, so I called the first person I could think of, Carlisle.

"Hello?" he asked.

"Hey, sorry, I know it's early. Do you have any idea where Edward is?"

"Yeah, he's here," Carlisle said hesitantly.

"Oh, is everything okay?" I asked slightly relieved and sure I was going to get a simple answer as to why he went there.

"Uh…he came a few hours ago to talk to Esme, he seemed pretty upset. They have been having a therapy session since he got here."

His comment threw me. I was sure Edward was fine with the way we made love, in fact, I was sure that he enjoyed it as much as I did, but if he was having problems from it then I really wished he would have talked to me first. I became extremely worried and concerned about him, and I knew I had to go talk to him right away.

I drove to their house in a daze, and got there without actually remembering the drive. Edward was sitting on the porch, and didn't look surprised to see me, as if he was waiting for me.

"Hi, how are you?" I asked worriedly.

"Carlisle said you called, so I was fairly certain you'd show up here," he explained.

"What happened? I thought we were doing so well," I asked slowly.

"We were, but last night just completely crossed the line. Bella, I can't do this anymore. I can't keep pretending like nothing happened."

I was completely shocked; I really thought we had gotten past everything and were closer than ever. We talked briefly _after _making love the night before, and he seemed absolutely fine. How could I have been so wrong? Perhaps he just had more time to rethink everything since then.

"Well, we can go to more couple's therapy sessions," I said quietly.

"No. It's just not working. Every day is just a constant reminder of what happened, and I'm tired. I don't want to live like this anymore; I don't want to live in the aftermath of what that monster did. I've been talking to Esme about it for a few months now, and I finally made a decision. I love you and Carlie, but if I really want to live to my full capability, so I think I need to move back to Chicago."

"Chicago?" I asked, utterly stunned. "Okay…well, I guess I can transfer to the state college there, but Carlie is going to really miss her friends."

"No, Bella. I need to go _alone_. I've been talking to my dad, and I think he's right. After the trial, I'm going to leave Edward behind and start over as Anthony Masen."

"When have you been talking to your dad? And just so we're clear, you mean _Tony _right, not Carlisle?" I said incredulously.

"Yeah, I didn't tell you because I thought you'd get upset. I just can't be _Edward_ anymore; I need to be who I really am. _Anthony_ was never hurt and he has a future that is without pain."

"Changing your name and location isn't going to wipe all your feelings and memories away," I said heatedly. I couldn't help myself, but I was actually livid. How could his dad put those thoughts in his head?

"Well, it's worth trying. I'm sorry Bella, I never wanted to hurt you again, but we can't get married and I can't be in Carlie's life right now."

I took a step back and shook my head. "Are you even listening to yourself right now? Just a few weeks ago you said you wanted five kids, and now….?"

"I need to be part of the family I came from before I can start a new family with you…or anyone else."

"A _new _family? We're not NEW! We have been together for a while and you can't just disappear from Carlie's life. You are her father, she loves you more than anything!" I shouted with tears streaming down my face. I could feel my body constrict from his words, and I was on the verge of a panic attack. I started breathing heavily and I was extremely dizzy as my eyesight actually started turning black.

"Bella, calm down; you need to keep control of yourself, think about Carlie. You are _all _she has, and what will happen to her if you end up in the hospital or something."

"Oh my god," I said crying hysterically then.

"Well, I'm going to leave now, I can see all I'm doing is getting you more and more upset," he said quietly, which was hard to hear behind my sobs. "I'm not leaving you with nothing, actually all my money and property will be in your name solely now. That all belonged to Edward Cullen, and since he doesn't exist anymore, it's yours. Hopefully someday you and Carlie will understand why I had to do this."

"No please, Edward, please don't leave me," I begged desperately. 'EDWARD!' I screamed, but no sound came out of my lips. My whole body went numb and everything went cold…or at least I had thought it was cold but the numbness actually felt warm in a way. I continued to cry and shake violently, when I collapsed to the ground and closed my eyes trying to hide from the onslaught of torturous pain. There was no amount of physical pain stronger than how I was feeling in that moment.

Suddenly he was behind me again, and though everything was dark because my eyes were closed, I could feel his arms wrapped around me, and I could smell his intoxicating scent as he embraced me.

"Bella, I'm so sorry," he whispered.

I opened my eyes and was bewildered to find myself back in my bedroom in the condo. I briefly wondered if Carlisle drove me home after I cried until passing out.

"Bella, I'm so sorry, I really should have known better," Edward said while stroking my hair.

"What?" I asked confused.

"I should have realized you'd have nightmares after that."

_Nightmares? _

I took a deep, grateful breath. "Oh Edward, it was horrible," I said relieved but started crying from the thought. "You were leaving, and you wanted a new life and I couldn't…."

"Shh, it's okay, I'm right here," he said soothingly as he cradled me close to him and just let me cry. I pressed my lips to his bare chest and held on to him until I was able to calm myself down. The slow and steady drumming of his heart, paired with his cool breath washing over my face, made me feel safe once again.

"Please don't ever leave me," I said desperately, as if my life depended on him staying.

"Baby, I really don't know how you would ever think I could possibly leave you on my own free will. I'm not even a _person_ without you…remember?" he asked, referring to the depressed state he was in before we got back together.

"I really don't know what _that_ was about," I said honestly.

"The trial is in less than two days, and you're worried because you know mine is next and I could end up in prison," he said confidently, proving he knew my psych'y just as well as I knew his. I _was_ worried that he'd be taken from me, and perhaps part of me felt he'd be better off in a completely new life, even if it meant killing me in the process. I guess I still felt guilty about asking him to relive all the trauma by making love to me in that way.

"I thought you said going to prison wasn't a possibility?" I challenged him.

"It's not, but I know you're still worried. Babe, I'm not going anywhere. We are going to get this trial crap out of the way, and then we're going to get married and have five kids."

"We're back up to _five_ now?" I said, and couldn't help but smile.

"What, you prefer ten?" he joked.

"No, how about we start with one more and go from there," I said and then pulled him in for a kiss. "What were you saying earlier? Why were you apologizing to me?" I asked, realizing that it wasn't part of the dream.

"You were having a nightmare, which I worried all night that you were going to have after making love like that. I just thought that it was going to be too much for you, and even though you asked to do it that way, I was concerned that it would affect you more than you ever expected."

Maybe it was twisted in that moment with _that_ subject matter, but I couldn't help but burst out laughing. He looked at me like I was crazy, but laughed lightly with me, despite himself.

"I thought _you _were upset by it," I said while laughing. I actually got a headache from the drastic emotional rollercoaster I just experienced; going from hysterical agony to hysterical laughing was actually sickening.

"Babe, if you enjoyed it, then I have to admit, it was actually pretty amazing."

I smiled widely. "Best yet….in fact, let's do it again," I said and pounced on him, tackling him to the bed.

…

"Okay, forget what I said before, because _that…_was the best yet," I said breathlessly afterwards.

"I bet we can still top it," he said while panting.

"No, I really don't think so….but, why don't you try to prove me wrong."

Pure.

Agonizing.

Blissful.

Nirvana.

…..

"Edward…" I said finally, breaking the silence after basking in the humming afterglow for a few hours.

"Hum?"

As incredible it was making love in that way, it _did_ bring the 'event' back to mind, and for the first time in our relationship, I felt no fear. I had never been afraid_ of_ him, just afraid to talk about certain things because of their sensitivity, but all that was gone, and I wanted to know about _that_ day. We had talked about it heatedly the day I first found out it was him, but I knew this conversation would be more affective.

"How…how did you feel that day? I mean, I saw the tape so I know you were upset _afterwards_, but…what about…_during_?"

He was quiet for a long time, and I started to think I was wrong about the ease of the conversation, but then he finally answered…very softly.

"I don't remember much of it. You have to understand, I…_had_ to learn how to go somewhere else in my mind. Everything I did back then, every time he'd make me go with him to find his next victim, every blood stain I had to clean, I would have gone completely mad if I couldn't find a way to escape deep within my head."

"How…how did you…how did you even do _it, _if you didn't want to?" I asked, out of pure curiosity. At that point he could have told me anything, even something monstrous, and I wouldn't think twice about my love for him. I just knew that men had to be aroused to have sex, so I just wondered what exactly was going through his mind.

Again, he was quiet. I knew he was really thinking about it to give me a real answer, so I didn't interrupt his thoughts by asking again.

"I was…abused sexually, so I never associated sexual encounters as being a positive thing that was supposed to feel good; it actually worked the opposite for me. I learned to…_react _when necessary, but it always felt like punishment, far worse than being beaten. It took a long time to understand that the rest of society actually enjoyed sex, and even then, I had no interest. I remember the feeling when you kissed me for the first time, it's like everything changed. I forgot about everything else in that moment and my body reacted in a way that I never expected. I was already in love with you, so kissing you and touching you in that way, made it impossible to associate those new feelings and _desires_ as anything but…passion. It was something I never would have felt with anyone but you, and if we were to be separated in any way, I'd never do it again. I still don't look at sex scenes on shows, or naked women as a form of arousal. I really don't understand how most men can be turned on by pictures of provocatively posed women and whatnot, it's really disgusting to me."

"So, I probably don't ever have to worry about you cheating?" I joked.

He smiled, "No, definitely not. But…"

"But what?" I asked accusatory.

"But, I did cheat once."

"Excuse me?" I asked with a smile because I knew whatever he was about to say had nothing to do with sex.

"Look, it's not my fault. I had that late meeting a few months ago, and it was just staring at me, tantalizing me, I was completely helpless."

"Ugh! I know exactly what you're talking about," I said with mock anger. "You told me you had a dinner meeting so you weren't hungry that evening, but you really ate on the way home even though you know I was cooking!"

"Bella, the special at Uncle Will's BBQ was a brisket and rib monster platter. I just couldn't pass it up."

"I knew you smelled like smoke that night," I said with a smile. We kissed for a little while, and then forced ourselves out of bed to wait for Carlie to get home. "So, are you nervous about Monday at all?" I asked as we made the bed together.

"No. I mean, I'm not looking forward to it, but I'm not nervous."

"Aren't you worried how you'll feel seeing him again?"

He shook his head. "I've realized something since the last time I saw him."

"And what's that?"

"He doesn't matter. He's not some scary inhuman monster, not _really _anyway. He's just a man, and he doesn't matter now that he's not free to hurt other people. He can't get out, he can't live like the rest of us, and he's no more immortal than I am, so I'm not going to let him upset _my _life for a moment longer."

"So, why do you want to go by the name he called you for so long?" I asked, thinking about my nightmare again.

"He didn't make up my name, I did. I told the Masens the truth; Anthony Masen Jr. died, and I can't bring him back, I don't even know who he was. I've thought a lot about what you said would have happened if Aaron didn't exist, and in that alternate universe, we would have been married already and I would be Anthony and we would be Masens, but that's not _this _reality, and we have both fought like hell to survive and as much as I wish it didn't happen, I can't ignore it either. I'm not who I would have been, and I know I never will be."

"We would have loved each other just as much," I murmured.

"Yeah, but maybe we would have taken it for granted and not appreciated each other as much. We would have been like every other couple, fighting, and bickering all the time…"

"We may still, one day," I said with a half smile.

"No, you see because I've learned something from every encounter I've ever had with you…and I mean 'every' encounter."

"What?"

"You are the strongest person I know, and you are _always _right. That's not a lesson I can ever forget. There is no life for me without you, so I'd never do anything whatsoever to risk it."

"Well, you're right about the 'always right' thing. Most men never seem to understand that, even after a lifetime of marriage," I said smugly.

He smiled, "See? That alternate universe wouldn't be as good as this one…at least for you."

"So, you'd rather take the years of suffering, over living like a normal bickering couple?"

"Did you see your friends the other night?" he asked.

"Well, Jess and Mike are just annoying, you can't lump them with the rest of the world's couples."

"Even Angela and Ben, though. It's like, half of the time they love each other, and the other half they were fighting to keep themselves from wanting to push the other under a moving bus."

"Esme and Carlisle seem pretty happy," I rebutted.

"Carlisle was studying to become a priest when he met Esme. She had been beaten by her husband and she lost her unborn child from the attack, making it impossible for her to ever get pregnant again. They just had an immediate connection and he helped her through her divorce and realized that he was heading down a different life path. They went to medical school together, and have never been apart since."

"Oh my god, I never knew that," I said astonished. "So, you're saying that traumatic events make people closer?"

"No, they _can_ make people closer. Haven't you ever seen 'Speed'?"

"Speed?"

"You know, that movie where they fall in love after almost being killed on the runaway bus…."

"Yeah, I know what it is," I said.

"Romeo and Juliet as well. I think it's the whole love overcoming huge obstacles thing," he said casually.

"Romeo and Juliet _died_, at the end."

"Okay, see what happens when two people who love each other in that way can't be together. I know how it feels, I was dead for a while."

"So we're both among the undead now," I said teasingly.

"Hey, you edited that story about the vampires. The undead just love more intensely than normal people," he said with a wink and I leaned in to kiss him.

"Do you think we have time for _one more_ before Carlie gets home?" I asked eagerly.

"We just made the bed."

I shrugged. "We can always go elsewhere."

He smiled and pulled me into him before planting his lips to mine.

* * *

***Trial next, I promise. Sorry for all these filler updates, but I wanted to see their relationship progress a little. Please Review***


	28. Heaven & Hell

**Innocent Sins**

**WARNING:** This is an emotional chapter that starts out very fun and lemony, but then the trial begins and it becomes very heavy. I have no idea why I wrote it that way, but like I keep saying, this story has a life of its own. This is definitely a chapter for **M**ature minds _only_!

* * *

~Chapter 28 –_Heaven and Hell_~

BPOV

"Hey dad," I greeted Charlie as he came to stay with us for the trial.

"Tomorrow's the big day, huh?"

"Well, if this trial were to end in one day, I'd be thrilled."

"Yeah, so this is going to take a few weeks."

"At least," I said drearily.

"Where's Edward and Carlie?" he asked.

"Oh, they went down to the park to play catch. Carlie wants to try softball this year."

"Does Edward even know how to play catch?"

"Jeeze dad, give him a little slack."

"No, I didn't mean anything bad, but the boy didn't exactly grow up playing ball," Charlie said defensively.

"She's nine. It's not like she's trying out for a nationally competitive team. Edward is fully capable to toss a ball to her."

"Well, maybe I should just go down there and see if I can help with anything."

"They'll be fine, besides, they've been down there for a while now, so I'm sure they are on their way back, or at least will be soon."

I wasn't at all surprised that Charlie wanted to go join them. He loved all forms of baseball, and he'd never pass on a chance to hang with Carlie and Edward.

I got all of Carlie's stuff ready for school the next day, while Charlie flipped through the channels on the TV. Another two hours past before Edward and Carlie finally came back, and Carlie was very excited.

"Mom, dad threw the ball really high in the air and I _actually_ caught it," she said enthusiastically, and then she noticed Charlie. "Grandpa!"

"Hey peanut," he said with a smile as she ran to him for a hug.

"Hey Charlie, when did you get here?" Edward asked him.

"Oh, a few hours ago."

"Well, we were just down at the park, you should have come play with us."

Charlie glared at me, and I smiled sheepishly back. "Next time," he said disappointedly. Charlie was the _man _in Carlie's life for so long, that I thought it would be hard for him to see Edward come in and take his spot as her father, but Charlie seemed perfectly happy about it, in fact, Charlie seemed more interested in parenting Edward. Carlisle was really a 'father' to Edward, but he was very busy and had a large family, all who needed that bond because of how they grew up, and Carlisle always seemed to find time for all of them. Charlie just thought Edward could use all the positive male role models he could get after being raised by Aaron, which Edward always seemed to appreciate.

"Did you catch the Mariner's game on Wednesday?" Edward asked Charlie.

"Of course. Did you see that homerun in the third inning?"

"Yeah, it was awesome," Edward lied.

Edward didn't have much interest in baseball. We occasionally would take Carlie to a game, but we almost never watched it on TV. But Edward usually checked out the highlights on ESPN, just so he'd have something to talk to Charlie about.

The next morning I woke up cradled in Edward's arms, and smiled at how utterly beautiful he was when he slept. After waking up alone a few days prior, and then having that horrible nightmare about losing him, I made it a point to wake before him. I just watched him sleep as I breathed in the air that he breathed out, and knew I couldn't possibly love him any more than I did in that moment. I studied his face and thought about how it's changed since I first met him in high school, and how much it'll change even more over the years. I pictured him as an old man, and in the exact position he was currently in, holding me. Our aged arms wrapped around out tired bodies, loving each other just as intensely as we do now. I had no more doubt that we would be together for our entire lives, and even if the world came between us somehow, I knew we would always find our way back to each other.

I looked at the clock and knew the alarm was about to sound, so I quickly turned it off before it could wake Edward. We didn't usually use the alarm because we always woke early enough to make love before Carlie got up, but the trial was extra early and we didn't want to risk oversleeping.

I started making gentle kisses on his chest, before moving up to his neck and chin. I kissed his perfect nose and forehead, and both cheeks before finally his lips. I wasn't paying attention to his eyes, so I didn't know if my form of a _wake-up call_ had done its job, but when my lips touched his, he moved his mouth against mine. I smiled against him, and let our kiss take its normal morning routine which lead to a lot of tongue, in a lot of different _areas_.

Edward rolled over on top of me and kissed my already naked body, all the way down until his head was between my legs. He lifted my knees up and pushed them further apart so he could have better access to my sensitivity. I reached down and grabbed on to the back of his hair as his tongue worked between my folds. I uncontrollably started rocking my pelvis against his mouth, as he brought his fingers in for an added indulgence. He pushed three fingers in and moved them to massage my internal walls, causing them to pulsate against him. He pushed them in further so he could reach the spot that completely drove me wild, and he rubbed it making my whole body tense and stiffen as a response.

"Oh god," I said way too loud, but I really didn't care who heard me in that moment. The added wetness and heat, along with the pulsating intensity against his fingers, let him know that he probably already took me too far. He withdrew his fingers and stopped his amazing tongue-capades, and crawled back up my body before thrusting right into me. He lifted my hips so I was at a better angle for him to reach _that magical spot _with his pounding…and reach it he did.

We both moaned as his thrusting picked up speed. I clawed my hands up his back and unintentionally dug my fingers into his shoulder blades as I reached the full force of my climax. He continued to move in and out of me until he reached his own satisfaction, shooting his warmth deep inside my throbbing core.

He stayed inside of me for a few extra pumps as we rode the high together.

"Can't we just stay like this all day?" I asked breathlessly.

"We usually do," he said with a half laugh. "Anytime we're alone, we're like this."

"Well, sorry if I take too much of your free time," I teased.

"You're such a nymphomaniac. Jeesh, I mean give me a break sometime," he said, while pretending to be serious.

"I can't help it if you're so damn sexy. Just being in the same room with you turns me on."

"Yep, that's what they all say," he said straight-faced.

"Oh, really?" I said playfully.

"Yeah, women just scream at me as I walk down the street. _'Oh damn, I'm getting all wet!'_"

"Babe, it's Seattle, the women were _wet_ because of the rain."

"Nah, that's just the excuse they give."

I lifted my head so I could kiss him again, but then I immediately pulled back. "Ugh."

"What?" he asked with a laugh.

"You taste disgusting," I said repulsed.

"No way, I taste amazing," he said with a smile and then licked his lips.

"Eww, ugh," I groaned.

"Oh, you love it."

"No, I don't. I could have lived my whole life without know what that taste like."

"It's just your essence, baby."

"Oh uh, just stop," I complained.

He laughed evilly and then kissed me again, though thankfully it was on my neck. He was still inside of me so he started rocking again, and I couldn't help more moaning from escaping my lips. I really thought the intensity of my desire for him would have cooled slightly over time, but the longer we were together, the more and more of him I wanted. The more we explored each other, the more we could never get enough. He had been inside _every_ part of me, and though we both had our favorites, we never neglected the others. I preferred actual intercourse to him going down on me, I mean, both were good, but if I had to choose, I definitely liked _him_ being inside me, more than just his tongue. But I loved the way he _tasted_. We both preferred _giving_ oral sex more than _receiving_, oddly enough, but it always ended electrically with hard pounding.

After cumming again, he decided it was time to get cleaned up, so he went against my desire and pulled out.

"We need to get ready," he said before kissing me lightly on the tip of my nose. He climbed off the bed, and fell to the ground.

"Wow, I didn't know I had _that_ effect on you," I teased him as he stood up quickly.

"You just make me drunk," he said with a laugh, and then went to the adjoining bathroom and started brushing his teeth.

I started getting out of bed and understood why he fell, I felt completely wobbly too. He laughed at me again as he saw me stumble my way to him in the bathroom. I wrapped my arms around him from behind and pressed my naked chest into his bare back. My hands moved down to his shaft and I started stoking, causing him to drop his toothbrush and grasped onto the sink for support. His head fell back and he closed his eyes tightly from the feeling.

"We are so going to be late," he complained with a smile.

"I guess we should get in the shower then," I said seductively, and then pulled him in before turning on the water.

"Ahh!" I yelled as we both jumped out of the cold, and fell to the floor…again. "I put it on hot, I swear."

"It's always cold in the beginning," he said while chocking on his laughter. After a minute of us laughing so hard that it was difficult to breathe, he finally gained control and stood, picking me up with him. We took the step back to the shower and felt the water for warmth before going all the way in.

The moment the water hit our bodies, he lifted me up and locked me against the shower wall, while I wrapped my legs around his waist. He sucked the water off my shoulder and neck as he thrust into me for the third time of the morning. I vaguely wondered how we were going to manage to separate long enough to make it to court, but after climaxing again, we somehow found the will to actually wash each other to finish the shower.

"Crap…woops, sorry," he said unexpectedly as we were drying off.

"What?" I asked concerned.

He led me in front of the mirror, so I could see the deep red blotches on my neck and shoulders.

I glared at him, but he just smiled almost in a proud way. "They're love marks."

I couldn't help but smile back, he was just too breathtaking.

I started combing out my hair, while he pulled a pair of sweats on with nothing underneath. Beautiful.

"I can iron that for you," I said quickly as he pulled a dress shirt out of the closet.

"It doesn't need to be ironed," he said while examining it.

"Yes it does, just put it on the bed. I'm ironing my dress too."

"You're wearing a dress?" he asked surprised.

"It's a business type dress."

"Oh."

I threw on his white shirt he wore the day before, and topped it with a robe so I could go get the iron.

"Good morning," I said quickly, surprised to see Charlie reading the newspaper on the couch.

"Morning," he said as he flipped the pages.

"Did we wake you?" I asked embarrassed.

"Yep," he said bluntly, but kept reading the paper.

"Sorry," I said guiltily and then hurried to get the iron.

As I was heading back to the bedroom, Edward came out, wearing nothing but his sweatpants. He kissed me quick and I motioned silently that Charlie was up, but Edward didn't seem to really care.

"Oh, good morning Charlie," he said casually. "There's coffee here, if you'd like."

"Sure thanks," he said uncomfortably.

Edward reached for the cups and Charlie froze as he gawked at Edward. Though he was in nothing but sweats, it was perfectly fine attire for a morning at home, even with my dad there; men walked around like that all the time anyway, but Charlie looked at him like he was disturbed by the sight of his unclad back.

"My god, what the hell happened to you?" Charlie asked finally.

"What?" Edward asked. I looked closer and saw long red scratch marks running the length of his back.

I sucked in a deep breath and covered my mouth embarrassed. Edward turned and looked at me questionably. 'Sorry,' I mouthed to him.

"What?" he asked again.

"Were you attacked by a hyena?" Charlie asked finally.

"You could probably call _her_ that," Edward mumbled.

Charlie looked between us and then got a disgusted expression on his face, and turned and walked away.

Edward laughed once and then he handed me a cup of coffee before taking his to the bedroom to get dressed. I put some sugar in mine and then followed him to the room.

"I'm so sorry, I can't believe I did that. You didn't even feel it?" I asked curiously.

"No, not really. I guess we really marked each other up, didn't we?" he said and then kissed the spot where my hickey was.

"Here, let me look at your back to make sure you're not going to get an infection," I said and got behind him, and pushed him down until he sat on the bed.

I looked at the scratches and they seemed fine, not deep at all, but then I noticed something I never had before. Faint, but prominent scars _all over_ his back. They weren't really noticeable unless I was really looking at them, but I was completely stunned and repulsed, because I had a very good idea how he got them.

"What exactly did he do to you?" I asked feeling sick from the thought of anyone hurting him like that, especially when he was a child.

"What?"

"The scars all over your back."

"Are there scars? I never noticed."

"They're everywhere. They almost look like…whip marks?"

"Oh, well he liked to use his belt…or a thin leather dog leash," he said indifferently.

"Oh my god," I said horrified. I _had_ thought I couldn't possibly hate that monster anymore than I already did, but I was wrong because it grew tenfold in that moment.

I suddenly became eager for the trial; I just wanted to get it over with so Aaron could be locked away forever and never see the light of day again. After Edward's description of the insane asylum, I was really hoping Aaron would be sent there. Those prisoners didn't get to leave their 'rooms' little alone have the freedom to feed themselves. No one deserved a straightjacket more than Aaron Jameson.

I ironed Charlie's shirt as well, and then we all finished getting ready for the trial.

"Wow," I said stunned by the beauty of Edward in a suit. It was a business suit with a shirt and tie, but damn, he was so gorgeous.

"I feel like an idiot," he said as he pulled at his neck to loosen his tie."

"You look amazing," I said as I pushed his hands away and fixed his tie myself.

I ran my hands down his shirt to straighten it, but I could feel his toned chest through the material, and I was automatically aroused.

"Aaron," I whispered to myself.

"What about him?" Edward asked confused because it was obvious I had nothing more to say.

"Oh, sorry. I was getting a little too interested in the idea of ripping off your clothes, and we just don't have time for that, so I just had to think of the most repulsive thing imaginable to get my mind off your body."

Edward nodded, but looked disturbed. "I usually think of dogs shitting or men's outhouses, but to each their own."

I laughed once and grabbed his hand, pulling him out of the room before I lost control of myself and tore his clothes off, regardless of the time.

We dropped Carlie off at Angela's apartment, because it was too early for school, and then we all went to the courthouse.

"Mom, you came," I said, surprised to see Renee and Phil waiting outside the courthouse for us.

"Of course, we just flew in a couple hours ago," she said as she gave me a hug.

"Why didn't you call?" I asked.

"We weren't sure if we were going to make it in time, but then an earlier flight opened up and we decided to move everything around to make sure we were here. I want to look that man in the eye and make him see me and realize exactly what he did to _my_ little girl," she said fiercely. "Hi sweetheart," Renee said to Edward and kissed him on the cheek.

Renee LOVED Edward. After learning he was Carlie's father, she was about two seconds from hiring a hit man to kill him, even in prison, but after I talked to her about everything, she gave him another chance and like Charlie, she just seemed to want to _baby_ him in a way. Like he was some fragile creature who needed protection.

Most of the Cullens were already inside; Carlisle was still with Liam going over paperwork and whatnot. Liam was Edward's lawyer, so his job during the trial was just listening and taking notes so he could try to figure out what would be thrown at Edward during his trial.

Right before the judge walked in, I turned to see more unexpected witness to the trial…The Masens. They came in very quietly and sat in the back; Edward didn't even notice them.

"Your parents are here," I whispered to him.

"Huh?" he asked confused, thinking I was talking about the Cullens.

"The Masens, they're sitting in the back."

Edward turned to look behind himself, and then he turned forward again quickly. "What the hell are they doing here?"He asked bitterly.

"Aaron took their son from them, I'm sure they want to see him pay just as much as anyone."

"Is your aunt coming?" he asked me.

"Dad, is Mary and Randal coming?" I asked Charlie quietly, who was sitting on the other side of me.

"Not today. I think they might come as we get closer to the end. Maybe in a few weeks, or so."

The back doors suddenly opened and a policeman guard brought in a scrawny frail looking man, wearing an orange jumpsuit, with chained cuffs on his wrists and ankles. At first I couldn't take my eyes off of him, he just looked so different. His long black hair was gone, replaced by a short buzz cut, much like the one Edward had when he was in prison, and he looked to be about eighty years old, though I knew he was much younger.

"Ah, look, there's my son. See, I told you he'd come to support me. All my loved ones are here, look…do you see?" Aaron said whimsically to the guard, and pointed to Edward when he spoke.

"Keep walking," the guard said irritated.

"Hello son, look how you've grown. The last time I saw you, you were just a wee boy. I'm glad you brought your mother with you," Aaron said and pointed to me. I knew Aaron was crazy, but he was acting absolutely ridiculous and I was sure he knew exactly what he was doing.

Edward shook his head slightly, but gave no other response to Aaron's idiocy. I could see Charlie's hand tighten into a hard fist, and his jaw clinched together firmly. I really didn't think anyone hated that man more than Charlie, and it was obvious that he was fighting within himself to not leap up and snap Aaron's neck.

"All rise," the officer commanded as the judge walked in.

The trial started out slow. The prosecution just kept reviewing everything so the jury were fully aware of every detail they had on the case. It wasn't a trial about whether or not Aaron was guilty, it was simply about whether or not Aaron would be held accountable for the crimes, and exactly what crimes he would be accused of.

"Mr. Aaron C. Jameson, you are formally charged with twenty five counts of murder in the first degree, fifteen counts of kidnapping, eight accounts of sexual assault, one account of contributing to the sexual assault of a minor, and twelve accounts of child pornography with the attempt to distribute. How do you plea?"

"Do you see the butterflies in the window? Oh, they're smiling at me. Hello butterflies," Aaron said in a sickly pleasant tone.

"Mr. Jameson pleads 'not guilty' on all charges by reason of insanity," Aaron's lawyer spoke for him.

"It smells like peaches, oh how I do love peach pie. May I have a slice?" Aaron said, and then his lawyer pulled him back down to his seat.

"This is ridiculous," Charlie muttered.

"The prosecution may take the floor," The judge said, so the district attorney stood and started presenting his case. His goal was to prove that Aaron_ was_, and _is _not insane, and deserved to be punished to the full extent of the law.

"First things first. I'd just like to present all evidence to the jury." The district attorney's assistant pulled a screen down from the ceiling, and held a remote controller which he started pressing buttons on.

…

"_Please don't make me do this," the voice of a little boy filled the room. The picture on the screen was what looked like it came from an extremely shaky handheld video camera._

"_You _will_ hold the camera steady. I swear boy, if you don't do this properly I will go back to Chicago and cut mommy and daddy into pieces. DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?"_

_There was what sounded like muffled crying._

"_STOP CRYING! You weak pathetic little maggot. I will make a man of you, if it's the last thing I do."_

_And then the sound of crying stopped, but the camera didn't stop shaking. Aaron came into view then, and he had a woman, bound and gagged, which he was dragging by her hair._

_Aaron removed her gag. "Now, tell the camera what your sin is," Aaron said softly to the woman._

"_Please help me, someone, anyone, please…I don't want to die," the woman cried._

_Aaron tightened his grip on her hair, pulling it so hard that you could see the roots coming away from her scalp. "TELL THE CAMERA!"_

"_I don't know," she cried harder._

_Aaron appeared disgruntled, so he turned to the camera himself. "Bethany here, went home with a man she barely knew, and did the unholy act by letting him fuck her. Now, ask for forgiveness," he said to the woman. _

"_Please forgive me," the woman said while she sobbed. _

_Aaron smiled, "Of course you are forgiven, sweet child." And then he got out a gun and held it to her neck._

"_NO!" the boy shouted and the camera dropped. Aaron, who was now sideways from the position of the camera on the ground, walked briskly toward the camera and stepped over it, and the torturously loud pounding noise of the child being beaten, filled the room. _

….

At that moment, I couldn't think of that little _boy _as the _man_ I loved, because I would have never been able to get through it. Everyone in the courtroom was in tears, everyone but Edward, who stared blankly at the screen as if it were nothing but a fictional movie.

…..

_Aaron came back into view, and the woman cried noiselessly as she knew her life was about to end, and then he shot her, and the tape ended._

…..

"This is not the work of a man who shouldn't be held accountable for his crimes," The district attorney said to the jury. "This is only the oldest dated tape we found of this nature. There are hundreds of other tapes just like it, and because we can't identify all the women in these videos, this …_monster _is only being charged with twenty five counts of murder, which is a crime within itself. These women, along with the countless, faceless others, and that little boy, who he abused for so long, they all deserve justice for what they were put through."

The defense came back with an argument of their own, which would have been hard to listen to enough, but my mind stayed focused on Edward. Even if he didn't go to jail as an accomplice, I could actually see him retreat into the depths of his mind, and I prayed he would be able to find his way out again when this was all over.

* * *

***The trial is not over yet. Please Review***


	29. Getting Along

**Innocent Sins**

~Chapter 29 – _Getting Along_~

BPOV

The trial was starting to look harder than I ever really expected it to be. After the defense tried to unsuccessfully talk their way out of the damaging video, the judge excused us for a two hour lunch break….Edward didn't move.

"Edward?" I said while rubbing his hand.

"Edward, you need to fight this, son," Carlisle said while putting his hand on his shoulder.

"You are not that little boy anymore. You have the power to rise above, just like you have been doing every day," Esme counseled him quietly.

Edward wasn't listening to any of us. He had a glazed over look in his eyes, as if he buried himself deep inside the depths of his mind.

Without really thinking, I grabbed his hand and pulled him out of the courtroom. He walked behind me willingly, but it was like he was running on autopilot, instead of actually choosing to walk.

I led him to one of the bathrooms, and made sure we were alone before locking the door so no one could interrupt us.

"What are you doing?" he asked quietly, but he still had that glazed over look.

"Just reminding you of how far you've come," I said and quickly wrapped my arms around his neck.

"Bella, I'm fine," he said softly.

I pulled back so I could look in his eyes, and he definitely looked a little clearer, but he wasn't all there yet. I stretched up on my tip toes and planted my lips to his. At first it almost felt like I was kissing someone else, because he wasn't really himself entirely. I kept kissing him, and finally I could actually feel him returning. The stiff set of his shoulders relaxed, and he eased into the kiss by grabbing a hold of me like he always did when kissing.

His tongue entered my mouth eagerly, and the kiss became too much to control. We fell into the wall and he pinned me against it, while reaching under my dress to caress me tenderly. I undid his pants, but he didn't bother taking my panties down, he just moved them to the side enough to fit himself into.

Having him inside me was such a relief; it was water in the desert, or the air in a drowning world. We needed to be physically connected just so our minds could think clearly, and as he thrust into me, I knew he was going to be okay. He told me before that he could get through anything as long as we were together, there was nothing that could come between us, and not even the abyss of his mind would separate us.

"Edward, are you okay?" I whispered after we finished.

"I'm fine," he said casually.

"Are you sure? Because, you didn't look fine back there."

"I just _accidentally_ slipped back into that mental place I used to always hide in during that stuff. I'm fine; in fact, I'm fine _because_ of that place I always retreated to…and because of _you_, of course. It just takes me a few minutes to dig my way back out of the hole, that's all."

"I understand that, I do, but maybe all this is just too much. Maybe we just shouldn't have come."

"I had to come, I'm set to testify."

"Okay, well, maybe we don't need to come until that time."

"Bella, I _need _to be here. I need to know everything that's going on so I can…sleep at night. It's like when someone dies. Many people need to see the body of their loved one, just as closure, and just so they can see for their self that they are in fact dead. I need to know everything was done to ensure that he's never able to hurt anyone else again."

"But…"

Edward gently cradled my face in his hands, and looked deep into my eyes. "I swear to you, I will not lose myself. It's not even possible because all I have to do is look in your eyes, and I can see exactly who I really am. I am, _who_ I am, because of you, and as long as I have you, I'll have me. I can't get lost, not when you're with me, guiding me through the darkness with the light that only you can give." He kissed me sweetly, and then released my face, but grabbed my hand tightly. "This is all I need," he whispered.

"I won't let go," I whispered back.

After spending about an hour in the bathroom, we decided we had better get something to eat before our two hour lunch break was up. We straightened out our clothes, and I re-fixed his tie, before we exited the bathroom.

"Ah shit, sorry," Edward said as the door banged into someone when we were on our way out.

"It's okay," the man replied and then I realized it was Tony Masen. Edward and Tony looked at each other briefly, but Edward turned away and just kept walking. I glanced back at Tony as we left, and I couldn't help but feel sorry for him. He looked absolutely miserable, and I could see the longing in his eyes as he watched his son walk away as a total stranger.

We walked to the café down the street and saw the rest of our family there, which wasn't surprising because it was the closest eatery. They all looked up at us concerned, but then Edward shot them a half smile and a little wave, so they all seemed immediately relieved. Esme stood and hugged Edward, which he returned despite his continued discomfort with that type of contact.

We didn't talk any more about it, we all just ate and even laughed about things that had nothing to do with the trial. We used that time as what it was meant for, a break.

All too soon, it was time to head back to the courthouse. Edward had kept his tight grip on my hand for the whole lunch break, and the walk back. We were holding hands before, but it seemed more significant after returning, as if we were each other's lifeline, and we really were.

We walked back into the courtroom, and the Masens stared at us as we passed. I was sure Edward saw them, but he didn't acknowledge their presence whatsoever. The rest of the day was pretty uneventful; it was just hours of the case study and Aaron's mental analysis. We were all warned that the next day, there would be more tapes shown, and Edward's testimony would be at the end of the week.

On our way to leave, Liz stood up and stopped us.

"How are you doing?" she asked Edward quickly.

"I'm fine," Edward said coldly, and then he turned towards me, searching for a way to escape.

"How's Carlie?" she asked, but it was obvious that he was done with the conversation, or lack thereof, and so she looked at me for the answer.

"She's good. She loves the Nintendo 360 you sent her, by the way. I know she called to thank you, but I just thought I'd let you know that she plays it all the time."

"Well, we're glad she likes it. I feel…just horrible about all the birthdays and Christmases that we missed while she was growing up, and we really wish we could spend more time with her…"

"You didn't know she existed, so why the hell do you feel bad about it?" Edward said bitterly.

"She's my granddaughter," Liz said simply.

Edward shook his head. "How the hell do you have a granddaughter when your only son died when he was a child?" Edward pulled my hand and walked around the Masens, and went to the parking lot.

I really didn't know what to say or think about that. My parents were both unconditionally loving people who forgave Edward and loved him as their own; I just didn't know how to deal parents like the Masens. I knew they loved Edward, but they just didn't know how to handle what happened to him, and accept what he had to do for so many years, just to survive. It was odd to me that they lived in a big city and yet were sheltered from the notion that such monstrosities existed in the world, even having lived through the loss of their child. And yet, Charlie was from a small town, who never really went anywhere, and he was able to understand what happened and move past it. Perhaps someday the Masens would come around, but I knew Edward wasn't waiting around for it.

We picked up Carlie from Angela's, and we all went to dinner together. Edward rented out the party room in the back of our favorite Italian restaurant, so we could have space to talk and move around. There were a lot of us, so we just enjoyed the extra space that the private room offered.

Carlie didn't know why we were having what seemed to her as a party, but she was just happy to be with everyone. Angela and Ben also joined us, and like lunch, no one discussed the trial whatsoever. It wasn't just because Carlie was there and knew nothing about it, we just had enough for the day and wanted to relax and leave it all in the courthouse.

"Mom, I have to go to the bathroom," Carlie said.

"Okay," I said and started to get up to go with her.

"Mom, I'm nine, I don't need help," she said, annoyed by my babying.

"You know, I have to go too," Esme said quickly and got up to go with Carlie.

_Thanks _– I mouthed to Esme. Charlie and I had always been a little overprotective with Carlie, but since Edward came into the picture, the word 'overprotective' became an understatement. Edward wasn't comfortable with her going places alone, and after learning how easily kids can disappear, I couldn't say that I blamed him.

"What are you getting?" Edward asked me as I looked over the menu.

"Uh…maybe the mushroom ravioli. What about you?"

"I was thinking the portofino," he said with a smile.

"You never get that, and I thought you said you didn't like it?"

"No, I like it; it's just not my favorite."

"Then, why would you get it?"

"Isn't it your second favorite?"

"Yeah?" I said while looking at him suspiciously.

"Well, if I get it, you can have some."

"Babe, get something you like," I said with a smile.

"I do like it."

"What if I was getting it, would you get it also?"

"No, I'd get the mushroom ravioli," he said with a wink.

"You hate mushrooms."

"I'd sacrifice for you," he said and then kissed me.

"Daddy, look who's here!" Carlie said enthusiastically as she drug Liz Masen into the party room.

"I'm sorry, we really didn't know you were all here," Liz said quickly.

"It's quite alright," Esme said as she walked in behind them.

"Go get grandpa and bring him in here with us," Carlie said happily. "This is so cool, all my grandparents are together in the same place."

"Oh, honey, I don't want to interrupt…"

"Please? I didn't even know you were in Washington; when were you going to come see me?"

"I…?" Liz had no idea what to say to her.

"It's fine, there's plenty of room in here for you," Edward said unexpectedly.

"I don't want to make you uncomfortable," Liz said hesitantly.

"No one has the power to make me uncomfortable, except for myself. And I choose to not be uncomfortable."

"Are you sure?"

"I wouldn't have said it if I wasn't sure," Edward said emotionlessly.

"It's okay, please join us," Esme said sweetly. Esme probably knew Edward better than anyone, besides myself, so if she said it was okay, I trusted her.

"Thank you, I'll go get Tony," Liz said and quickly left to go get her husband.

Edward placed his hand on my inner leg and rubbed my knee with his thumb, so I rested my hand on his affectionately. Less than a minute later, the Masens joined us for dinner. It was awkward at first, but then Carlisle and Esme took the initiative to introduce themselves, as well as the rest of the Cullens.

Charlie said hello to them again, and Renee and Phil also stood to meet them. They sat on the opposite side of the large table as Edward and me, so they could give him the space that he obviously wanted. Esme and Carlisle took that time to try to get to know them, but I think Esme was actually trying to analyze them, which may have made them nervous if they knew she was a psychologist.

Carlie hardly sat. She spent the evening floating and dancing around, absolutely loving that her _entire _family was in a single room together. Her family had grown significantly in less than two years, and she couldn't possibly be any happier about that.

The room was far from quiet; there was constant chatter and musical chairs going on, as we all kept changing places to visit with other people. Edward and I did eventually separate, Edward was talking baseball with Charlie again, and I went to talk with Renee some more. I realized then why Edward got along so well with my father, they were both a bit antisocial and quiet. Neither felt the need to hold superficial conversations, if they had nothing to say, they just didn't talk and were perfectly comfortable with the silence.

Though Edward and I drifted apart during the evening, every twenty minutes or so, Edward would come to wherever I was to kiss my shoulder or back of the neck, and whisper "I love you", before returning to whoever he was talking to. We preferred to always be together whenever possible, but for the sake of the rest of our family, we forced ourselves to act casually like a normal couple.

Edward didn't go near the Masens, but I'd often see them watching him closely; they were trying to figure out exactly who he was by the way he interacted with the family he made for himself. The truth was that the Masens were the only ones there who loved him solely because of his DNA connection to them, where everyone else loved him because they _choose_ to, and because of _who_ he was as a person. Even Carlie loved Edward long before she knew he was her father.

We spent four hours at the restaurant, but it got late and Carlie had school in the morning, so we all said goodnight and headed home. We knew the trial would be difficult the next day, so we _all_ needed our rest. The Cullens all lived close, Charlie was staying with us, and Renee and Phil were staying in a hotel near the courthouse. It turned out that The Masens were staying in the same hotel as my mom, so the four of them shared a cab back to their rooms. We all offered to drive them, but no one had a car big enough for them all, so they just figured a cab would be the easiest.

Carlie fell asleep on the ride home, so Edward carried her up to her room, but then Charlie, Edward, and I all stayed up a little while longer, and finally talked about the next day's events.

"So, you ready to see more of those videos tomorrow?" Charlie asked Edward concerned.

Edward shrugged. "It's not like I don't know what's on them."

I started rubbing Edwards back softly, so he leaned forward so I could reach his entire back, and I put my hand under his shirt to be in contact with his skin. He _loved _when I rubbed his back, so I tended to do it whenever we were just sitting around.

"Yeah, but seeing them after so long…I mean you were just a boy when they were filmed," Charlie said.

Edward looked at me and smiled, before turning back to Charlie. "I'll be fine."

"Well, I'm glad you two have each other for support through all of this."

"Speaking of which," I said, "how's Sue doing?"

"Ah, she wishes she could be here. I think she's planning on taking the end of the week off, but you know how her work is. And even more than work, those kids of hers really can't be left alone or they might kill each other."

"Dad, Seth and Leah are both adults."

"Maybe you should tell them that. They are the most bickering immature siblings that I have ever seen. I just don't get it, Mary and I never fought when we were growing up."

"Some people are just meant to be 'only' children," Edward joked surprisingly.

"Well, Leah is definitely one of those people," Charlie agreed. "Now, Seth gets along with just about anyone, but it's hard to get along with a woman scorned."

"She still hasn't gotten over her break up with Sam?" I guessed. I really didn't care about Leah's love life, but I had a feeling she would soon be my stepsister, so I figured I should at least make an attempt to care.

"Nope, and the fact that I work with him, just makes her take out her anger on me."

"Man, I'm glad all my siblings have incestual relationships, it just makes everything so much easier," Edward joked again.

"Incestual?" Charlie asked confused and disturbed.

"Dad, it was a joke."

"I don't get it."

Edward laughed lightly, "I consider both Alice and Jasper my siblings, but they are a couple, and the same goes for Rose and Emmett. Carlisle and Esme adopted all of them, so technically…"

"Oh, I guess I never really thought about it before," Charlie said bewildered, and still slightly bothered.

We all finally went to bed, and tried not to think about what was to come in the following days. I wanted the trial to be over, but at the same time, I wasn't sure if I could stomach watching anymore videos. Even if Edward thought he could handle it, I was fairly certain I'd have nightmares, so after making love, I pressed my back into Edward's bare chest, and he wrapped his arms around me securely…which made me feel safer than anything else in the world.

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	30. Misunderstandings

**Innocent Sins**

~Chapter 30 –_Misunderstandings_~

BPOV

I tried to make a point of waking up before Edward…but I was unsuccessful. Instead, I woke up to the most amazing feeling in the world because he stole my idea from the morning before, and woke me with kisses all over my body.

"Mmm," I said, as just his kisses alone were completely electrifying.

"Good morning," he murmured against my neck.

"Mornings are always good with you," I said with a smile.

After another incredible morning love session, Edward laughed at something, but I had no idea what.

"What's so funny?" I asked.

"I was just thinking about yesterday morning. Do you think we can get out of bed today without falling a few times?"

I giggled. "I don't know, that's asking a lot."

"I guess we should try," he said with a sullen look on his face. He didn't want to get out of bed any more than I did.

"As long as the shower is waiting for us," I said with a wink.

"Okay, why don't you go start that," he smirked and then put his hands behind his head and laid back as if he wasn't going to move.

"Why, so I can get blasted with the cold?" I asked with a grin.

"Hey, you're the one who did it. I usually wait a minute before getting in."

I smiled again and climbed back on top of him so I was straddling him, but I only barely touched his shaft before I sat on his lower stomach. I leaned forward so my breasts were at his collar bone, and I kissed him passionately. His hands trailed up my body as he caressed my skin, and his tongue immediately sought out mine.

"Maybe the _cold_ will do you some good," I said while quickly jumping off him, leaving him laying there with a hard on, and stunned that I would be so cruel.

"Oh, that wasn't nice. Now, you're going to pay," he teased, and then I peeked out of the bathroom just in time to see him running in after me. I took cover in the dry shower, but there was no escaping him.

"Ok, ok, truce," I pleaded while laughing.

"There will never be a truce," he said as he grabbed a hold of me and started tickling my sides.

"No...Stop…I...hate that," I said while I gasped for air because I was laughing so hard.

"Oh my god, Bella I'm _so _sorry," Edward said unexpectedly, and immediately backed away.

"What?" I asked concerned as I tried to catch my breath.

"I swear, I wasn't going to hurt you. You don't have to be afraid of me," Edward said in almost a panic, with pure torture in his eyes. I was so confused as to how his mood could have changed so drastically in just a moment, but he was obviously very upset.

"I'm not afraid of you. Babe, what's the matter?" I asked. Edward turned away from me, so I grabbed his face to force him to look at me. "Why do you think I'm afraid of you?"

Edward stared at me with his sorrow filled eyes, and then he slowly reached up to my face to wipe tears away there. I had no idea that I had been laughing so hard that I was actually crying from it.

"Oh honey, I was just laughing, I promise," I said with a smile, but he didn't look any better, so I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him into me. "Edward, I'm _not_ scared of you, and I won't ever be. There is nothing you can do to make me afraid of you, nothing."

Edward took a deep breath. "I love you so much, and I just hate the thought of anyone hurting you, except the only person who ever did, was me," he said quietly.

I rubbed the side of his face gently, to try to calm him. "I love you too, and it doesn't matter what you were _forced _to do in the past, all that matters is that no one else can make me feel _entirely _safe, the way _you_ can."

"Bella, if I ever do _anything _that makes you uncomfortable, even just a little, please tell me. I couldn't stand it if you were frightened by me, even for a second."

"I promise I would tell you, but it'll never happen because I know you, and I know what's in your heart. You are upset with the Masens for only seeing you as the little boy they lost and not accepting who you are now, but Edward, you do the exact same thing. You can't move past what happened, and you refuse to see what an amazing man you've become. You're the most caring and compassionate person I've ever known, and I really wish you could see that. The only thing _fierce_ about you, is the way you love your family. You would go to the ends of the world to someone you care about, and you'd do anything to help them. I feel so blessed to be the one to share my life with you in this way, and I couldn't have asked for a better father for Carlie."

"Bella, you know I don't deserve you," he murmured. "But I swear, I will stop at nothing to be that man you think I am." He kissed me for a few moments and then he pulled back again. "I really don't know how I ever lived without you."

"Lucky for you, you'll never have to again," I said with a smile and pulled him into the shower before turning it on.

"AHHH!" we both screamed and jumped out of the cold, and fell down laughing again.

….

The second day of the trial was much like the first. It was more evaluations of Aaron, and more nonsense spoken by Aaron himself. At one point when he was trying to convince the jury her was mentally incompetent, he locked eyes with me, and I swear he smirked. I already knew he was faking it in order to avoid the death penalty, but that just reaffirmed it.

And as warned, the day would consist of more tapes. My stomach churned as the lights dimmed, and I looked at Edward and he had his eyes squeezed shut, as if he was bracing himself for a physical blow. He knew the zoning out thing he did the day before worried me, so he was trying a new coping tactic, but I had my doubts of the effectiveness of his new strategy as well.

Edward kept his eyes shut through the first video, but the second one only seemed to get worse. I couldn't watch any more, but I wasn't about to walk out on Edward, so I just turned my head so I could study his perfect face, which I already knew by heart. He must have felt my gaze, because he suddenly opened his eyes and looked at me. We stared at each other for several long moments and thankfully, everything else disappeared.

There was no courtroom, no jury, no monster sitting just a few yards away, and definitely no horrific video. We had an entire conversation without saying a word. I saw everything there in his eyes, our whole life, our future, our daughter, our children yet to be conceived, and nothing else mattered.

At one point I started thinking about the way he looked when he fell on the floor to escape the cold shower, and I couldn't help but giggle silently. I couldn't exactly be sure what he was thinking in that moment, but we were so connected that I truly believed he had the same thoughts I did, and he actually started laughing noiselessly with me. I'm sure if anyone else noticed us laughing while those videos were playing, they would have thought we were truly crazy, but I really didn't care what anyone else thought. Edward and I had found a way to completely escape the terror of the moment, and we did it together without any fear of getting lost when it was over.

I had no idea how many videos were played or how long they lasted for, but eventually the lights came back up, and the prosecution started arguing their case again. Edward and I had moved on to playing with each other's hands and the hem of my dress, which he kept yanking at, so I repeatedly had to bat his hand away. He knew my dress would tear if he pulled at it, so he was doing it on purpose and laughing from the idea.

Finally we were excused for a lunch break, and as everyone was quietly collecting their things, Edward leaned in to whisper something. "You know, I hear the janitor's closets are nice around here."

I smiled and got up to leave, when Carlisle stopped us. "Edward, are you okay?" he asked concerned.

Edward looked at me slyly, and I could see his lips twitch just a bit, _a secret smile just for me_, and then he refocused on Carlisle and nodded. "Yeah, that was difficult. Bella and I just need to go…_talk _about it. We'll meet up with you guys later."

"We're here for you, son," Carlisle said supportively.

"I know, thanks," Edward said and tried to give him a reassuring smile. Esme stood and hugged Edward, which he returned, and then she caressed my face before we walked out of the room.

"Janitor's closet, huh?" I said with a smile. "We haven't _vacationed_ in one of those since I worked at the hospital."

"We'll, I thought it would be a nice getaway," he said with a chuckle. After finding a few locked, we finally got lucky and ducked into a perfect closet, which thankfully wasn't too overstuffed with brooms and such. "I promise, when all this is over, I'm going to take you somewhere really nice, somewhere tropical," he said as he was pulling my panties down.

"Well, you do owe me a trip to Atlantis," I said as I unzipped his fly.

"Atlantis?"

"That's where we were all supposed to go for a family vacation. But then everything happened, and we were apart, but I'm not giving up on it, I still _expect_ to be taken there."

"Oh you do, do you?" he said with a smirk as he lifted me up so I could wrap my legs around his waist. He pushed into me slowly, and the relief I always felt when we were connected, was there immediately. "I'd much rather take you someplace where we can be alone," he said while moving in and out of me.

I kissed his neck and knotted my hands into his hair. "Okay, let's do the _alone_ thing first…" I paused to moan quietly, "and then we can do Atlantica a few months later. _Uuhhh._"

"I don't…think we…can get…to Atlantica without fins," he said as he huffed.

"Atlantis, Atlantica, what's the difference?" I said, but then his speed increased, and all talking was cut off.

It was dark in the closet, so when we were finished, we did our best to straighten out our clothes; I redid my low ponytail, and we cautiously walked out of the closet. It was in a remote hallway, so I was pretty sure no one would be around to see us exit.

"Holy fucking shit! _That's _what you two have been doing when you sneak off?" Emmett said with a huge dumb smirk on his face. "You fucking dog, you. Here I was, all worried about my little brother, and your off fucking around…_literally_."

"No Emmett, I'm really fucked up, Bella was just…_comforting _me," Edward said with a huge grin.

"_Fucked_ up is right." Emmett grabbed Edward in a headlock and ruffled his hair. Edward ducked out of his hold and shoved him lightly.

"Man, you messed up my hair; I worked really hard on it this morning," Edward complained.

"Dude, your hair was already a mess when you walked out of there, so blame miss 'wild thing' for the sexhair you got going on. It was a good thing that I decided to come look for you, otherwise, someone a little more uptight might have seen you two, and been a little less cool."

"Emmett, you're my hero," I joked.

"Thanks Bella," he said seriously, "yeah, I'm pretty heroic most of the time."

I did my best to calm Edward's wild 'sexhair', as Emmett called it, and then we walked back towards the exit so we could meet everyone else for lunch.

"Edward, I hate to do this on your lunch break, but I really need to speak with you," Liam said as we were on our way out.

"Uh…" Edward looked at me and I nodded so he knew I'd be fine, and then he followed Liam to one of the conference rooms.

"Is Edward okay?" Esme asked concerned when Emmett and I walked into the café without Edward.

"Oh yeah, he's way more than okay," Emmett answered for me, but Esme ignored him.

"He's fine. Liam just asked to speak to him for a while."

I ordered Edward lunch at the same time as ordering my own food, but he didn't make it there to eat it, so I took it to-go. Carlisle left early to try and see what was going on with Liam, so Esme got him his food to-go as well.

"Emmett, put these under your jacket," Esme said and handed him Edward and Carlisle's sandwiches.

"What?" Emmett asked.

"Come on, there's no food allowed inside," she said in a low rush.

"Why Mrs. Cullen, I'm ashamed at you," Emmett teased. "That's illegal, you're a psychologist and you are asking me to commit a crime. Think about righteous Carlisle, he used to be a priest, what do you think he would say about this?"

"Give me the damn sandwiches," Jasper said quickly and shoved them under his coat.

"Wait, what if they frisk you?" Emmett asked more seriously.

"We walk through a metal detector, if I don't have any metal, then they won't need to frisk me. Don't be such a prude."

"Thanks Jazz," I said, and then we all walked into the courthouse. Jasper, was _not_ frisked.

We still had about ten minutes before court was set to start again, so we started looking for Carlisle and Edward to give them their food, when I passed Tony in the hall.

"Um, Bella, can I speak with you for a moment?" he asked unexpectedly.

"Uh, sure," I said and gave Esme Edward's lunch to take to him.

"What's up?" I asked him as we walked to a more private area of the hall.

"I just wanted to talk to you about Anth…I mean Edward. Liz and I had no idea what kind of torture he had been through, and we…just want to make sure that he's getting the proper mental help he needs."

"Well, Esme is a psychologist so he meets with her a few times a week, and whenever he needs any extra support."

"Perhaps he needs to speak with someone outside his…_family_." Tony had a hard time calling Esme Edward's 'family', because he was very much the type that only considered biological relatives as real 'family'.

"Esme has been working with him for nine years now. I think that if anyone can help him, it's her. But Edward is doing good," I assured him.

"How can he be doing good after the horrid display I saw in there today?"

"Uh…?" I wasn't exactly sure how to answer that.

"I mean, what kind of person would laugh at a video like that?" Tony said disturbed. _Whoops; I guess someone did see us. _I realized that from the position Tony was sitting in behind us during the trial, he could only see Edward's face and had no idea that I was laughing with him.

"We weren't laughing at the video, I promise. I don't even know what was on those videos, Edward and I were purposely not paying attention," I explained.

"Look, I'm a very conservative man with high morals, I think you can tell that about me," he said, and I nodded so he continued. "I think Edward needs to be in a mental hospital. It's not safe for him to be mixed into society when he has the potential to snap at any moment."

"Edward is not going to snap," I defended him. "The only person who is in danger from Edward, is Edward, he'd never hurt anyone else. Edward is a good man, and I really wish you would allow yourself to see that."

"Weren't you listening to the defense at all in there?" Tony said, upset by my complete faith in Edward. "Aaron was a good guy at one time too, or at least his friends and family thought so. He was abused by his parents who were in a satanic cult, so he escaped from them and became a minister. People who knew him back then are shocked that he became a serial killer. He was counseling a group of teens, when he just snapped one day and killed one of the girls who confessed to him some of the things she had been doing. Aaron wasn't just pretending to be a good man when he was a minister, he really was one, but then the trauma of his childhood caught up to him and he snapped. It's just a fact Bella, the abused grow to become abusive. I really think you need to think about that when you let him be around your daughter."

"You are using _one_ twisted man's life as a basis to your opinion on your son?" I asked incredulously.

"I love my son, and I don't want to see him end up completely lost. I don't mean to offend you, but I really think you need to consider getting some mental help as well. It's just not healthy for a young woman to be in a relationship with the man who attacked her. Isn't that called Stockholm Syndrome?"

"No, Stockholm Syndrome is when someone cares for their captor, and the only captor I ever had, was Aaron. You know, you really don't know either of us at all, and I really feel sorry for you. Edward is an amazing man who isn't in denial whatsoever. He knows exactly what happened to him and he lives with it, and works on it, every day. We both see a therapist together and alone, and every _professional_ we have worked with, thinks we are doing incredibly well. The difference between Aaron and Edward, is that Edward has a good soul and he has people who love him and help him to remain focused every day. Yes, many people who come from abusive situations, turn around and become abusive themselves, but that is _not_ going to happen to him. And I'm _not_ crazy for loving him. If you knew him, you'd know why I love him so much, and I wish you did, because everyone who does know him, are much better for it," I said heatedly.

"I didn't come here to get you upset, I just want my son to be in some place where he can't hurt himself or others, ever again."

"Ever _again_? You really have no idea what you're talking about. He never hurt anyone, and you should really think about the things you're saying."

"Your daughter is a result of rape, is she not?"

"Edward didn't hurt me, Aaron did. Edward is Carlie's father because Aaron raped both of us," I said bluntly.

"Aaron raped you? So how is Edward Carlie's father then?"

"The definition of rape is 'the crime of forcing a person to submit to sexual acts against their will'. Aaron told Edward that if he did not _force_ me that way, then he would kill me and move on to the next girl, and then the next, and then the next until he got exactly what he wanted from Edward. He _forced_ him to _force_ me , therefore, we were both forced into the sexual act against our will resulting in us both being raped."

Tony was silent for a moment as he considered what I was telling him. "I had no idea it was like that," he said quietly.

"I tried explaining it to you that day at Mary's house, but you didn't want to listen. Edward is the most gentle person I know, in fact just this morning he was upset because he thought he scared me after I was crying from laughing so hard. No one is more conscious to other people's feelings, then Edward is. Do you think he doesn't know how you feel about him? Why the hell do you think he tries to stay away from you all the time."

"He seems so angry," Tony said.

"Maybe he is, but can you really blame him. You never took the time to listen to him…"

"He walked away, how could I listen?"

"He walked away, because he knew you were going to react like this."

"Bella listen to me, I think you're a wonderful girl, and Liz and I love Carlie very much, but everything you've said just further proves my point, you and Edward need to be apart. If what you said is true about Aaron making him rape you, then you both don't need the added reminder of what he did everyday by seeing each other. I mean, how could you possibly have a normal relationship after what you've been through? You mentioned that you want to get married, but part of a marriage is having a physical bond with each other. I don't want to over step here, but do you really think you'll be able to have sexual intercourse with each other, and not think about that day?"

I stared at him for a moment, and had to contain my laughter. The fact that he thought we really haven't had sex was actually hilarious.

"Well, when we had sex in that janitor's closet an hour ago, I sure as hell wasn't thinking about it. I'd say we are perfectly fine in that department. We live together, being physically intimate is more than a regular occurrence."

He shook his head. "You have to see how wrong your relationship is, and if you don't, I really hope you figure it out before you're both lost and take Carlie down with you," he said quietly.

I laughed once humorlessly, and then I turned and walked away.

I understood how most people could see our relationship as strange, and even wrong because of how Carlie was conceived, but truthfully, I didn't care and it was none of their business. Edward and I were blissfully happy, and no one had a right to tell us our love is wrong.

I walked back to my family and tried to get the conversation with Tony out of my mind. His love for his son was pointless if he wasn't even willing to keep an open mind about who he really is, and the life he chooses to live.

When I rounded the corner, I could see everyone gathered, and Edward was there in the middle of it.

"What's going on?" I asked Charlie, who looked pretty upset.

"The judge wants to hear Edward's testimony today. He said he doesn't see a reason to prolong the trial for weeks, and he's hoping to make a ruling by Friday."

"What, he can't do that. Edward needs time to prepare and…"

"I guess Liam was trying to tell the judge that, but he wouldn't listen. I think he's hoping to use the time he set aside for this trial, to include Edward's trial as well."

"Oh my god," I said worriedly. I squeezed past everyone so I could stand with Edward, and as soon as I was in reach, I grabbed his hand. He looked down at me and we locked eyes in another wordless conversation. I knew right away that he wasn't happy about the change in plans, but Edward was so much stronger than anyone else gave him credit for. He wasn't some fragile child who was going to break, I knew he could remain in control, he had already swore to me he would, and I trusted him more than anyone else in the world.

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*Eeek! ;) **Please Review***


	31. Stitches

**Innocent Sins**

A/N: Ok, I've never made recommendations for another author's story before, but I found this one by accident and couldn't stop reading it. It's called '_Unplanned Perfection'_ by **littlecat358** . OMG! One of the best stories I've read. It's an All Human story with a very angry and sexy Edward (Who doesn't love that, right?)

_Edward and Bella grew up crushing on each other from afar, but never acted on their feelings; Bella and Alice were best friends, Edward was Alice's player brother. During their HS grad party, they have an aggressive one night stand and don't speak again, both going away to college. Bella secretly has his baby and three years later Alice finds out the truth. Let's just say Edward wasn't happy about finding out he has a three year old son._ _The story is about forgiveness and trust, and two people working incredibly hard to get past their differences and realize their lifelong love for one another. _

I know, it's not a unique story line and my description doesn't do it justice, but man, the emotions and passion are just amazing. It's got 8000+ reviews, so you know it's good. I haven't finished it yet, she usually updates once a week, but I literally couldn't stop reading it, thus this update was delayed. Lol. Please check it out, you won't be disappointed.

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~Chapter 31 – _Stitches_~

BPOV

I didn't have a chance to tell Edward about my encounter with Tony, and he really didn't need the added stress anyway. Edward's firm grasp on my hand told me that he needed absolutely nothing at that moment, other than _my _unconditional love and support.

"Edward, are you ready for this?" Liam asked, but our whole family stood around him and echoed his question with their concerned eyes. Charlie was standing next to me, and he reached out to pat Edward on the back, which seemed to start a chain reaction. Everyone started patting him and squeezing him supportively as if he were about to go into a battle, and he actually was. Nothing he said up on that stand would affect his own trial ruling later on, but we all knew Edward's biggest enemy was his own inner demons.

I didn't agree with Tony that he was a danger to anyone else, but I knew Edward constantly walked on a thin line between self loathing, and acceptance of his own innocence. If Edward doubted the extent of Aaron's forcefulness even for one second, the defense would see that and use it to their advantage. Edward had to forgive himself and remove his self-guilt from everything Aaron did, and he had to do it in the next twenty minutes.

"Yeah, I'll be fine," Edward finally answered Liam's question. As he spoke, something made me turn around and I locked eyes with Tony down the hall. He looked absolutely miserable _again_. I think it must have been a huge fucking eye-opener to see so many 'strangers' rallied around his son, his own flesh and blood, that he actually looked a little sick from it. Everyone was unique and handled their emotions differently, but Tony's way of handling his son, cost him his spot next to Edward. Tony and Liz should have been with us in our group. They should have been there to pat his back and whisper encouraging words to him. I knew they both desperately wanted to be, but their long-set ways of thinking and unwillingness to listen, lost them any chance they had to reclaim their roles as Edward's parents. And they were completely missing out on one truly amazing man.

Edward stood fearless, as he was called to the stand. He squeezed my palm and lifted it to kiss my knuckles before letting go and walking forward. He sat in the witness box and waited for the prosecution to ask them their questions.

"Please state your name for the jury," the district attorney instructed.

"Edward Cullen."

"Uh, this is a legal venue, so we need your _legal_ name."

"Oh uh…" Edward paused, as if he had to try to remember what his birth name was. "Anthony Masen Jr.," he said finally, and a part of me immaturely cringed at the name, because I guessed Tony loved that and I didn't want to give him that satisfaction.

"Mr. Masen, I need you to tell the jury about the evening you met Aaron Jameson. Anything and everything you can remember about that night." Edward grimaced slightly when the district attorney called him 'Mr. Masen', but the he sighed and took a deep breath.

"I was eight…"Edward looked at me and smirked slightly, but again, it was completely unnoticeable to anyone else, I only saw it because I just knew his face better than anyone's. "I guess I was _seven_. My parents went out for the night and left me with a sitter. She was a teenage girl that lived down the street, her parents had been friends with my parents for a while. I can't remember if she babysat me before, but I do know that I was very comfortable with her, like it wasn't my first time meeting her."

"Do you remember her name?" the attorney asked.

"Elena Gilbert."

"So, you've remembered the babysitter's name after all these years, but you had a hard time remembering your own birth name?"

"I remembered Elena's first name because I had a crush on her back then, and the fact she was the first woman I ever saw murdered….so yeah, she kind of stuck with me. I only learned her last name several months ago."

"Just to be clear, _you_ are the boy we saw in the tapes?"

Edward thought for a moment, as if the question was much more difficult than it seemed. "I _was_, yes." I understood Edward's choice words immediately. He didn't want to reply with a straight 'yes' because that would have been untrue, because he wasn't that _boy_ anymore.

"Please continue with your story."

Edward shifted his weight in his seat and looked to me for the strength he needed to go on, which he must have found because he continued.

"Elena had her boyfriend there, and they were kissing. I was supposed to be in bed, but I got up to spy on them. I got bored after a while so I decided to go back to bed, but then the doorbell rang….."

Edward told the exact story that he had told me when we got back together, except this time, his voice didn't shake. My mind drifted to the night I held him as he described the way my cousin had been murdered. He was absolutely trembling, but later he told me that it wasn't out of fear from the memory, it was more that he worried I'd see him differently, that I wouldn't be able to love him after knowing what a coward he was. Edward had to grow up so fast, that he often forgot just how young he was when it all happened. There was no way a seven, _or_ eight year old child could have done anything, but Edward always carried so much guilt that it was hard for him to accept that fact. Ironically, Carlie was nine and Edward looked at her like she was his little baby, but he still refused to see his seven year old self, as an innocent child.

As Edward continued to speak, I was absolutely flabbergasted at how calm he remained. He was confident without seeming heartless or uncaring about the women who were murdered. He showed sorrow and regret, but didn't seem to be taking any of the blame anymore. He was able to not only look me in the eye while he detailed the abuse he endured, but he was also able to keep his head up and hold himself together to make Aaron's true character perfectly clear for everyone in the room.

But then, it was the defense's turn to question Edward.

"Mr. Masen, is it true that you are in a relationship with Miss Gilbert's cousin?" The defense attorney asked out of the blue.

"Yes, she's my fiancée and we have a daughter together." Edward said securely, but didn't quite know where he was being led.

"Is it safe to say that your fiancé's family would be very happy with a death sentence for Mr. Jameson?"

"I think any of his victims' families would be happy with a death sentence for him," Edward said quickly.

"Just answer the question with a 'yes' or a 'no'. Would your fiancé's family be happy with a death sentence for Mr. Jameson?"

"Yes."

"So, it is a possibility that you may be elaborating on the mental health of Mr. Jameson, just to appease your fiancé?"

"No. Nothing I have said has anything to do with my fiancé," he said bluntly. "I haven't 'elaborated' on anything at all; everything I said was a hundred percent true."

"Mr. Masen," the attorney said quickly, trying to divert Edward's obvious sincerity. "You have spent the most time with Mr. Jameson over the years; do _you_ believe that he is mentally sane?"

Edward was quiet for a moment, and then he took another deep breath to stabilize himself. "No."

"No, what?" the attorney asked so Edward would have to clarify his meaning.

"No, I don't think Aaron is sane."

"Thank you Mr. Mas…"

"I don't think _any_ serial killer is sane," Edward interrupted the attorney's acceptance of his answer.

"It was a 'yes' or 'no' question," The attorney said sternly.

"Well, I don't have a simple 'yes' or 'no' answer."

"That's not how this works. You answer _my_ questions and that's it…"

"Actually Mr. Caius, I'd like to hear what Mr. Masen has to say on this matter. This is the reason for this trial, and I think the jury needs to hear the opinion of the one person who saw him on a regular basis," the judge said to the defense attorney, and then he turned to Edward. "Please continue."

"It's not 'sane' to want to kill people. Yes, accidents happen, and then there are crimes of passion, but no normally balanced person would go around and kill people. I believe sexual predators are insane as well."

"Speaking from a convicted rapist, yourself," the attorney said abruptly.

"Objection!" the prosecutor stood, and said loudly. "We are speaking about Mr. Masen's opinion on Mr. Jameson, not on his own legal matters."

"Sustained. Keep to the topic Mr. Caius," the judge warned the defense attorney. "Please continue, Mr. Masen."

"If you are going to grant 'insanity' to…_Mr. Jameson_, then it is necessary to grant the same benefits to all serial killers and sexual predators. Mr. Jameson isn't of 'normal' mind, but I feel he was well aware that what he was doing was wrong, at least wrong in the law and in society. If serial killers didn't think what they were doing was 'wrong', then they wouldn't be serial killers at all, because they wouldn't try so hard to hide their crimes, therefore, they would be caught before they had a chance to kill so many. He wasn't a compulsive murderer, he meticulously planned out every single one of them, and if someone has the mental ability to do that, then they don't need to be in a hospital. Hospitals are meant to _help_, but there is no amount of 'help' that Jameson can get to 'fix' whatever the hell is wrong with him."

"Mr. Jameson put you into public school, did he not?"

"Yes, but…"

"If Mr. Jameson was sane enough to try to 'not get caught', as you say, then why would he do something as reckless as put the child he kidnapped into the public school system?"

"Jameson obviously never thought he would get caught by putting me into school, and he was right, he _wasn't _caught. He wasn't caught until he kidnapped a police chief's daughter and granddaughter. It was poor judgment on his part, not the act of a mentally incompetent person."

"And, what if Mr. Jameson sanity verdict was the difference between you being convicted as an accomplice, or not?"

"How would that make a difference?" Edward asked confused.

"An 'insane' person might be able to manipulate someone into helping him, where as a 'sane' person would never even think to do such a thing, so thus you must have done it of your own free will."

"That doesn't even make sense," Edward said with a furrowed brow.

"Perhaps one may question _your_ sanity as well, making your testimony invalid and irrelevant… That wasn't a question, your honor; that was my ending statement. The defense rests."

I had no idea why, but something made me glance behind myself at Tony. I was expecting a smug expression at the fact the defense was questioning Edward's sanity. However, instead he wore the same perplexed expression as Edward did, and I could almost see the acknowledgement of how stupid the defense was sounding to him, which wasn't much different than the things he had thought as well.

"Mr. Masen, you may step down," the judge said to Edward.

Edward came and sat with me again and I knew at that moment, that he was feeling something which I had only ever seen him express once since knowing him…anger. Edward never got angry; he never thought he had a right to that emotion. He acted a little bitter and resentful towards the Masens, but I knew that was really just for show to keep them as far from him as possible, but _this_ was real and raw fury. Only when we were locked in that hatch and Aaron wanted to film us 'consummating' our 'marriage', did I ever see him with any kind of legitimate anger.

But he was fuming next to me, it was absolutely radiating off of him. He knew the defense attorney was an idiot, and I figured he was worried that the jury would actually take him seriously, which pissed him off.

I grabbed his hand and squeezed it tightly. I wasn't trying to lessen his anger, because I think he needed to be feeling that, but I just wanted to remind him of my complete support. He looked down at me and smiled, letting the spark return to his eyes momentarily, before he returned to his state of heightened irritation.

After another hour of drawn out debates, we were excused for the day. There would be no court session for the next couple days, and that Friday, they were hoping to have their verdict. We said our goodbyes to our family, but Esme pulled me aside as we were heading to our separate cars in the parking lot.

"I know Carlie has had quite a few sleepovers lately, but perhaps she can spend the night at our condo with us tonight," she said and gazed at Edward suggestively.

I nodded in agreement. "Thanks Esme. She's at Angela's right now, if you wouldn't mind picking her up there."

"Of course," she said with a warm smile as she rubbed my arm supportively.

The car was uncomfortably silent on the short ride home, and when we got to the condo, the silence became even more deafening. Edward sat on the couch and bent over to rub his face and forehead with his palms, while he balanced his elbows on his knees. Charlie was sitting next to him on the couch, twiddling his fingers while he was obviously trying to come up with some soothing words to say to the man he had hated only a few months prior.

I had no idea what to say either, however I didn't feel like I had to come up with anything. Edward needed time to decompress, and I was going to make sure he had it.

I went into the kitchen to start making dinner, and when I turned back to the living room to throw my coat down, I locked eyes with Charlie briefly and realized he finally came up with something significant to say. He took a deep breath and clapped Edward on the back before standing.

"Well, I think I'm going to head home for a couple days," he said unexpectedly. _That was his something significant? He must have chickened out, or perhaps I just read him wrong._

"I'm making dinner?" I said slightly annoyed that he didn't make that decision a few minutes earlier.

"Oh well, I appreciate it Bells, but I haven't seen Sue all week and I should probably check in at the station. I'll be back before the ruling on Friday," he said and kissed me in the forehead before going to the guest room to retrieve his things. When he came back into the room, Edward stood and grabbed his suitcase to carry it down to the car for him. Charlie grumbled something about how he's not a helpless old man and can carry his own bag, but Edward ignored him.

We said our goodbyes, and waited until Charlie's old blue ford truck drove out of sight. I watched as Edward closed his eyes and let his head drop backwards for a moment, and then he recovered himself and looked at me expectantly.

"Ready to go back up?" he asked casually.

"Sure," I said and reached for his hand.

The tension was still thick when we got back in the condo, but I could have sworn that there was a change there.

I went back to the kitchen and spoke loudly over my shoulder. "Is spaghetti ok, or would you prefer something else?"

When he didn't answer, I got worried. I was about to turn around and go wrap my arms around him, but I didn't have to. A pair of warm arms encircled me at the waist and his cool breath washed over my neck, sending arousing chills down my spine.

I tilted my head to further expose my neck, encouraging him to kiss me there, which he more than happily obliged. His tongue darted out to taste my skin, which caused a breakout of goose bumps all over my body.

He lowered himself slightly so he could caress my inner legs, but then he slowly straightened as he traced his hands up to my thighs and under my dress.

"Mmm," I couldn't help the moan that escaped my lips, but it really didn't matter, no one was there except Edward to hear me anyway. He must have taken my moan as an invitation, because he pulled my dress all the way up and he slid his hand confidently into my panties and begin rubbing small circles on my tenderness.

What he did next, completely shocked the hell out of me…in the most _amazing_ way.

He was behind me, which was a closeness that we were just becoming comfortable with, but in that moment, we weren't _that _couple. Without asking and without warning, he used his hand to guide me forward so I was bent over the counter, and he thrust into me assertively. I hadn't even realized that he had gotten his pants down, but I didn't care about the logistics, because I had never been more turned on in my life.

Edward rarely initiated sex, and never took complete control like that. He was always so worried about hurting me or scaring me, that he never just _fucked _me because he had the urge to, but that's what he was doing in that moment, and it was so damn sexy. He didn't wait for me to encourage him to go faster, but his speed accelerated and he pounded into me probably harder than he ever had before. I braced myself against the counter and tried to keep my elbows locked, but my arms felt like jello, so I leaned even further forward onto my forearms, which changed my position and made him thrust even harder and going in deeper. He held my hips firmly and pushed and pulled to get even more force into the motion, but the tighter he squeezed, the more I could feel myself losing control. My body belonged to him, and that was the first time that I felt him truly take ownership of it.

I could feel his shaft swell inside of me, but instead of letting himself cum, he slowed down his pace and moved one of his hands under my dress and up the skin on my back. He massaged his fingers into my muscles and then slid them around my body to grope my breasts. He pushed by bra up and gently kneaded while rubbing my hardened nipple with his thumb.

I couldn't take it anymore, my inner walls clamped around him violently, and pulsated causing him to speed his tempo back to his previous hard pounding.

"Oh god!" I cried out in ecstasy.

"Uhhgh!" he huffed as he rode his own wave of intensity until he collapsed over me, panting heavily. "I love you so much," he whispered after wiping the sweat dripping from my neck. I rested my head against the cool counter and he laid with his face nuzzled in the knots of my hair. He didn't put all his weight on me, so I wasn't uncomfortable, but breathing together with his chest to my back was absolutely amazing.

"I love you too," I said softly back to him, and for the first time, that was enough. After a few minutes, he stood back up and pulled out of me. There was no worry from him, he didn't ask if I was okay or if he scared me, because he felt the strength of my love, and I felt his.

There was a definite change in him that day. It wasn't like he turned off the pain that I had always known him to carry, but he finally seemed to stitch up the open wound that had festered for so long. The infection that had spread throughout him had finally run its course, and now the fever was broken. He would always carry the scars of his childhood, but he was healed and able to move on as a complete, strong man that I always saw within him. He had the confidence to make his _words _and _actions_ as fearless and resilient as his heart had always been.

Edward, would not be broken.

I spent the next couple days in complete blissful awe of him. I had often wondered before if we really only had sex because he knew I wanted it, but there was no doubting his desires after that day…the man was always horny. We had explored different sexual positions and locations in the past, but his newfound eagerness and lack of fear took us to places I never would have imagined, even in my_ wettest_ dreams.

I had already explained to my professors at school that I'd be out all week, so I decided to still take the time off, even though we didn't have court. After taking Carlie to school, we spent all day discovering Edward's lust for me. I thought I couldn't get enough of him before, but that was practically a drought compared to the passion we were experiencing. When Carlie was home and awake, Edward forced himself to be good, but I'd often see him ogling me when she wasn't paying attention. He'd walk past me and rub against me erotically, and when I'd shoot him a scolding look, he's throw up his hands and look at me innocently but it would melt into a devilish smirk, which told me just how well he knew exactly what he was doing.

Friday came all too soon, but I was happy because it was one step closer to being entirely free. Charlie didn't want to come up until that morning, so he left really early in order to make it on time, and I was pleasantly surprised that Sue was able to join him for the day.

"Hey stranger," Sue said with a smile as she hugged me hello. Charlie had already grabbed Edward and was talking to him quietly as we walked into the courthouse. A pep talk, I was sure of it. _God, I loved how close they had become in a short amount of time._

The Cullens were all waiting inside, and they all stood to give Edward their own words of encouragement, and though I was grateful for their support, I knew without a doubt that Edward didn't need anyone to say anything, he would handle it perfectly.

Renee and Phil came into court at the last minute, and the Masens were huddled in the back. The guard was about to close the doors to begin, but then another familiar couple ran in breathlessly.

"Mary," Charlie stood and said fondly. "I didn't think you two were going to make it."

Mary and Randal gave their hushed hellos to everyone and then sat. "We weren't about to miss the sentencing of the monster who murdered our daughter," Randal said to Charlie.

After the doors were closed, the ones in the back opened, and Aaron was brought in and put in his normal seat. I could see both my aunt and uncle brace themselves from the sight of him, and I could have sworn Randal was ready leap out of his seat to attack him. I looked around the room and noticed many more faces than were in the bleachers before, most I had never seen before.

"Who are all these people?" I asked Edward quietly.

"Aaron destroyed a lot of families Bella, not just ours," he whispered back, and then I understood. They were all the families of the girls he murdered. They weren't nameless victims anymore, they were real people with lives and loved ones, and the jury couldn't ignore that.

"All rise!" ….

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***What do you think of the more assertive Edward? Please Review***


	32. Snapped

**Innocent Sins**

REC: Okay, I know I just rec'd a story on the last chapter, but I'm going to do it again. _'How It All Started'_ by **fankstewie**. It's her first fic on this site and she could really use some followers. It's a story about Robsten, not Edward and Bella, though it centers on them as their characters. It's an interesting story and really funny at times, so please take a look at it. She's only a few chapters in, but she seems to update frequently enough.

A/N: This chapter is a look into Tony's mind. I know, I know, I hate when writers move away from the main characters too, but I think his POV is necessary to understand his feelings. Despite Edward's new found strength, he can't fully heal until he has some closure with his parents, and we won't accept Tony's change of heart until we know what's in his head. The trial ruling _is_ in this chapter however, so if you get bored, you still have to skim through to find it. Lol

Long chapter, lots to cover. Please try to stick with me.

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~Chapter 32 – _Snapped~_

Tony's POV

I've always been a proper, dignified man; at least I was until I met Elizabeth Pattinson.

My father Henry Masen, was an American scientist who moved to Italy to do some research, where he married my mother Maria Antonelli. She was from a well respected Italian Catholic family, and didn't speak a word of English. When my father decided it was time to move back to the US, she didn't argue, but she knew it would mean she would have to learn the customs. Not long after they became permanent American residences, I was born, and then my sister two years later.

My parents were hard on us, very strict, but I appreciated their sternness, it taught us to be well behaved and allowed us to grow into respectful adults. Like my father, I went to school to be a scientist and fell in love with biology. But right after I got my bachelor's degree, my sister was killed in a car accident, leaving my mother to go slightly insane. My father died of heart failure three years later, leaving me alone to take care of my mother.

I graduated top of my class and kept focused to honor my father's memory by being as respected in my field as he was in his. I had a reputation as his son to uphold, and I damn well was going to do it.

Elizabeth was the girl who worked in the coffee shop that I routinely went to every morning. She was that girl who I always noticed, but never really spoke to, but then again, every one noticed her. She was absolutely stunning; big green eyes that were wide as the moon, and her hair was the color of the sunset after a warm summer day. Stunning. But she came from a lower class family, and I would never consider her as a possible partner, so I never asked her out.

I was working late one night, and on my drive home I passed by the coffee shop. Usually it was closed by early afternoon, but I saw a light inside and decided to check it out. And that's when I realized that Elizabeth was actually living in the little room above the shop. It may have been creepy, but I couldn't help but watch her through the window as she danced around the shop completely mesmerizing me. Looking back on that night, I realized that I fell in love with her right then, having never held an actual conversation with her, she completely owned my heart.

I began driving by the shop every night, in hopes to get another glimpse of the woman who had no idea of the way she held me so tightly, when one night I saw her carrying a large trash bag out to the dumpster in the alley. It wasn't a dangerous part of town, but there were some regular lowlifes who loitered close by, so when I saw a man watching her as intently as I had been, I took notice. I pulled my car over and just watched to make sure the scum wasn't going to try anything, and sure enough, he grabbed her.

I jumped out of the car faster than I thought humanly possible, and ripped the disgusting thug off of her just as he was pulling down his pants.

Elizabeth was shaken and she thanked me over and over, and I was never the same again. We met for lunch the next day, and the day after that, and the day after that. She was everything I never would have wanted in a woman. She was bubbly eccentric and loud, and she had way too much energy. Could adults even have ADD? But she was entirely captivating. She insisted on being called Liz, and refused to call me Anthony. I always hated the name Tony, it was just too informal, but I was so infatuated with her, that she could have called me dumbass and I would have answered.

She forced me to let loose a little, and I brought some stability to her life, we completed each other and two years later we were married. My mother hated her with a passion. She swore that she was only with me for my money, and it was true that we were polar opposites, but I never doubted her love for me. But we did fight a lot. After a year of marriage, and constant bickering, we separated. I hadn't talked to her in almost two months, when she called and said she was pregnant. We reconciled and I swore we would never separate again.

When our son was born, I knew it was impossible to love anything more than that amazing child. My mother, of course, called my wife a whore and said the baby wasn't mine.

"How could it be yours? Look at the coloring, you are far too dark to have such a light colored child," she said in her broken English and spitting at Liz.

"Mother, he has Liz's coloring, why is that so difficult for you to accept," I told her, but she just snubbed her nose at me and refused to touch Anthony Jr.. I never had a doubt he was mine, I trusted Liz, and besides his coloring, he looked just like me. Even as a boy, Anthony had very angular features of our Italian heritage, and a full head of thick hair, which wasn't prominent in Liz's family. Most kids related to her were bald until they were three.

Although Liz refused to call me 'Anthony', she allowed our son to be called that; one, because it was less confusing, and two, because I thought it was important that he knew his formal name, nicknames could come later if he chose.

Anthony was everything I ever wanted in a son, well behaved and extremely intelligent. He was very interested in my work, and I found myself teaching him certain aspects of biology which I thought he may be able to understand, and he always seemed to. When he was six, we had his IQ tested and he scored extremely high, so he was placed in a program for gifted children. He excelled in music, math, sciences, chess, and almost every other intellectually stimulating activities, which I couldn't have been more proud of. Of course like with every child, he had his moments, usually initiated by something Liz had allowed him to do.

He threw a massive tantrum one day because Liz had been allowing him to use his dinner plate as a drum set, and I told him he couldn't. That was not proper table manners, and if we didn't teach him, who would.

"Turn off that damn show!" I'd often complained to Liz. I hated stupid, mindless, soap operas, and I hated them even more when my son would watch them with her.

"A little drama and tragic love stories never hurt anyone," Liz responded.

It didn't matter how stern or forceful I was, Liz would just roll her eyes and shrug off whatever she didn't agree with. _God, I loved that woman._

We talked about having more children, but we really wanted to focus on Anthony and his education. We talked about it every few years and before we knew it, Anthony was seven and we thought the age difference would be just too much, so I had a vasectomy.

I was a work-aholic, so it was nice to have a wife who forced me to let loose every once in a while. Liz _loved _to go dancing. Usually Liz's parents watched Anthony when we went out, but they were unavailable one ill-fated evening. Our neighbors' teen daughter had been begging to babysit, so we decided to give her a chance. She wanted some extra money, but even more than that, she loved hanging out with Anthony. She said he was the cutest kid she had ever seen, and she swore he was smarter than her and thought he could teach her a few things. She meant it as a joke, but I think she was actually right.

"Ok, emergency numbers are by the phone," Liz said to her nervously.

"Don't worry Mrs. Masen, everything will be ok. Right Anthony?" Elena said with a huge smile.

"Right," Anthony said all gooey eyed at her. I was starting to think Anthony had a slight crush on Elena, which was amusing and disturbing at the same time. He was far too young to be attracted to girls.

"Now son, I trust you're going to behave yourself tonight. Go to bed when Elena asks, and make sure your teeth are brushed. Right?"

"Yes daddy."

I cupped his chin in my hand, and had an extremely uneasy feeling, but I shrugged it off. Liz was the paranoid one, not me. I wasn't an overly affectionate man, and Anthony never usually tried to hug me, but that evening he latched himself to my waist, so I bent down and held him tightly.

"Daddy, please don't go out tonight," he whispered in his little voice.

"Why not? I think your mother could really use a night out, don't you?"

"The monster has been looking in the windows, and I don't want him to get me," he said unexpectedly. Anthony was not the type of child to get scared, especially from such nonsense as monsters. But I figured he was just pretending so I decided to go along with it. I squatted down, so I could be closer to his level.

"Don't worry son, monsters can't get in here. Besides, Elena is the best monster slayer around. Your bed is a safe place, so as long as you're there, nothing will happen to you."

"Really?" he asked with his wide brilliant green eyes sparkling.

"Really. I love you Anthony," I said quietly.

"Nope, my name is _Edward_," he said with a smile and then ran off. I looked at Liz annoyed, and she shrugged sheepishly.

"Why is he calling himself 'Edward'?" Elena asked confused.

"Oh, he likes to pretend to be other people sometimes. Edward is a character on a show I watch," Liz explained.

"Goodbye Edward!" Liz called to Anthony as he ran around the room.

"Why are you encouraging him?" I asked irritated.

"Oh, I'm just playing along," she said and then kissed me passionately. "Lighten up Mr. Masen, it's no different than you playing along with the monster thing." she said with a wink as she pulled me out the door.

I had no idea why, but I turned and looked at Anthony one more time before we left. The 'monster' thing upset me more than I let on. That wasn't like him, but I suppose children sometimes let their imaginations run away with them.

I loved him more than anything, and despite any sort of bad mood I may have been in for whatever reason, my son could always make me laugh, and he knew it. We were actually very close, and the bond I felt for him, was immeasurable and irreplaceable.

The night dragged on, and for some reason, both Liz and I were anxious to get home. It was only around nine pm and Anthony would be in bed, but we still decided to call it a night.

"Well, Mrs. Masen, have I told you how absolutely stunning you looked this evening?" I asked as I nuzzled her on our driveway. The house was dark, so I figured Elena was watching a movie with the lights out.

"Only three times," Liz said with a giggle.

"Well, I'm sorry, I'm falling behind on my job. "You look stunning," I kissed her neck. "Absolutely breathtaking," I kissed her again, "and damn sexy."

"You better watch those hands if we're ever going to make it in the house." She kissed me on the lips, before tugging on my hand. "Come on, let's relieve Elena so she can go home."

"Good, we can finish this in our room," I said while grabbing her butt. She squeaked and laughed as she ran to the door.

I unlocked the door, and held it open so she could go in first. She flipped the lights and before I could step foot in the house, she started screaming. It was a loud, blood curdling shrill that I had only ever heard in horror movies, so I leaped in the house to see what was wrong.

"Oh. My. God."

I ran to Elena who was lying in a puddle of blood by the couch, hoping to wake her, and checked her pulse…there was no pulse, she had been dead for over an hour at least. I felt sick, I had no idea what was happening, but as I turned to my frantic wife who was vomiting all over the kitchen as she held the phone, my only thought was Anthony. I ran to his bedroom and everything was a mess. His bed was on the opposite side of the room, and the covers were thrown off.

"ANTHONY!" I yelled, hoping he was hiding somewhere. I ran to the back hall, and saw a teen boy sprawled across the floor, in another pool of blood. I bent down to feel a pulse, and there was a slow but steady thumping. I tried to wake him, and thankfully, he started coughing.

"What happened, where's my son?" I asked him frantically, but he couldn't speak. I grabbed a towel and pressed it into his wounds, but there wasn't much else I could do.

"LIZ, DID YOU CALL THE AMBULENCE? THIS BOY IS ALIVE, HE NEEDS HELP!" but she didn't respond. I ran out to the living room, and saw her huddled in a ball in the corner of the room, shaking violently. "Baby, did you call the police?" I asked her softly. She just kept rocking back and forth, but wouldn't respond.

I grabbed the phone out of her hand, and started dialing. "ANTHONY!" I yelled one more time as the phone was ringing. I ran through the house, looking in closets and under beds, hoping he was still in the house somewhere. I told the police everything I knew, which wasn't much, and the first officer showed up five torturously long minutes later.

More police came after a few more minutes, and then the ambulance to take the teen boy to the hospital. Two more ambulances came soon later, one to take Elena's draped body away, and the other to take Liz, who was still unresponsive.

I sat in the kitchen while a police officer questioned me, and a dozen more searched the house for any evidence or sign of my son, but it was like he just disappeared.

I stayed in a hotel for the next several days, and after the house was fully swept for any additional clues, I seriously thought about setting the whole thing on fire. Liz spent three weeks in a mental hospital, before she was finally released with a high dose of antidepressants. There was no news of Anthony during that time, but I didn't give up hope that he would be found alive. No body meant he had to be out there somewhere…except then, there was a body.

"I'm sorry Mr. and Mrs. Masen, you son's body was found in a ravine five miles away," the officer said sympathetically, but I didn't want his sympathy, because I didn't believe it.

"No, fuck you. My son is _not_ dead!" I said desperately.

"I'm sorry sir," he said, which made me pissed. I grabbed him by the collar and demanded he take me to him.

When we got to the morgue, they pulled the sheet down and exposed an extremely mutilated body of a child. He was unrecognizable, but he fit Anthony's height and weight, not to mention that he was wearing Antony's favorite Spiderman shoes.

I took a step back and shook my head violently. "No…NO!" I screamed and fell to the ground cursing god, and everything else I could think of. I went home in a daze, and forced myself to tell my wife that our son was dead. It all seemed unreal, like a horrible nightmare that I couldn't wake up from.

Liz didn't cry from the news, she had nothing left within her to cry. She simply stood and walked to our bedroom without a word, where she didn't move for three days straight.

It was like life just stopped. Even though we buried him and let family console us, we never truly accepted that he was gone. It was like we kept waiting for him to run through the door and tell us that he was just hiding. Time had no meaning, and even though the house was professionally cleaned, we couldn't bring ourselves to move. Every memory we had of our son took place in that house, every birthday he had was celebrated there. When it was quiet enough, we could still hear his laughter echoing down the hallway. We just couldn't leave.

Months turned into years, and I somehow managed put on a good show of moving on. Liz had various stints in mental hospitals over the years, mostly due to her depression and suicide attempts. The light and joy was completely gone from her eyes, but eventually, she too found a way to pretend to move on. We knew we'd never get past our son's death, but I decided to dedicate my time to help missing and abused children, and I set up a foundation in my son's name.

We got out of bed every day and went about a routine the best we could, but we never really moved on. Always waiting. Waiting for answers, some kind of absolution, which we realized would never come. We needed to find the bastard who killed Anthony and Elena, but there was no evidence, and nothing to go on.

We never counted the passing years. We never had the discussion of how old he would have been that year on his birthday, and we never went to his grave site. Sometimes I hated myself for never visiting him, but I just couldn't think of that charred and destroyed body that I saw in the morgue, as my son.

Always waiting.

We kept in touch with the Gilberts over the years. They hadn't done much better than we had, but they tried to remember the good things about their daughter. They celebrated her life, instead of being stuck in that moment, and the millions of other moments that their daughter should have lived to see. But like us, they yearned for answers, but without them, we didn't know how to fully move on.

So we kept waiting.

I knew someday, somehow, we'd find out something. But then I thought about the millions of unsolved murders and realized that we may never know what happened that horrific night.

And then, the waiting finally ended.

"Hey, I need to talk to you, will you come over for dinner?" Mary Gilbert called and asked out of the blue. We remained in contact for all the years, but we weren't exactly the '_let's do dinner'_ type of friends.

"Sure, is everything ok?" I asked because she had a strange tone to her voice.

"I'll explain when you get here," she said cryptically.

We went to their house and listened to Mary explain how Anthony was found _alive_, near Seattle Washington.

We didn't know what to think, or how to act, or even if we truly believed any of it. I called the police chief who discovered Anthony's identity, but he was very short and unforthcoming with much information. I figured out that he actually knew him personally, but he said that had some legal issues and was in prison for a while. I begged him for more answers, but he said he wasn't at liberty to divulge any more details.

Liz and I took the first available flight to Washington, but we were met with a dead end. No one would give us any answers or let us see him, or even call him on the phone. He was an adult and he had to 'want' to meet with us. They used the words 'adult' but it didn't register in my mind. Logically, I knew he had to be an adult, I knew exactly how old he was, but I couldn't see him as anything other than my seven year old little boy.

We were instructed to go back home, and wait to see if he decided to contact us at a later date. Finally, Mary called and said he was coming out to see us, but she didn't know exactly when. I wasn't sure how or why Mary was getting the information from, but I was thankful just the same.

The doorbell rang one afternoon, and we had been expecting a package, so we didn't think much of it. Liz answered the door, and her sobs told me something was wrong. I ran to the door to see her clinging to a tall man, who seemed to be humoring the hysterical woman by patting her on the back lightly. It took me a minute to completely understand who exactly the _man_ was. I put my hand over m face, and tried to contain my tears, but it was pointless and they spilled over on my face.

Liz pulled back and cradled his face in her hands. "You're really here; you're really alive and home after all this time?"

He nodded slightly, and then she stepped aside and let me hug my boy. "Welcome home son, please come in."

It was so surreal having my son home again, especially since I never thought of him as an adult. He 'died' as a child, so I never let myself consider how he would have looked, or how tall he would have been, but the man standing in front of us was definitely our Anthony; I'd recognize him anywhere.

It was uncomfortable, to say the least, but I really didn't care, he was alive and that's all that mattered. Suddenly, without warning, he bolted out of the house and practically ran down the street. Liz took off after him, but I was so stunned that I stayed in the house like a daft moron.

Liz came back alone, looking horrified.

"What happened?"

"He was afraid of this house," she said slowly. "All this time I thought we needed to stay here, because this was his home, but I didn't even think about how it might upset him. He saw Elena murdered here, the Gilberts refuse to come here, we should have known better…."

"Liz, calm down. Let's go to Mary's and see if she knows where he could have gone," I said, trying to calm her panic.

Mary said he should be coming back there, and we could wait for him in the living room or in the front. Mary seemed to have some company in the backyard so we didn't want to bother them and decided to wait out front. Sure enough, a cab pulled up to the house and Anthony got out.

We apologized to him about our house and then we all went in Mary's to sit together and talk. We didn't want to overwhelm him by asking questions about what type of life he had been living, so we sat for a while in awkward silence.

"So, um, I'm sorry, I didn't get your name before," Liz asked unexpectedly. I hadn't even realized that there was a young woman with Anthony, until that very moment, and I wondered when exactly Liz noticed her as well.

"Oh, I'm sorry. My name is Bella," the woman said with a friendly smile. Reflexively, I looked down at her hand and noticed how it almost seemed glued to my son's.

"So, you two are a couple?" Liz asked curiously, which was the exact question I had.

"Yeah, we're going to get married soon."

I really had no idea what to expect when it came to Anthony, but for some reason I was utterly stunned that he was engaged. And then we learned that Bella was Mary's niece and I was simply astonished. But nothing was more surprising then when a little girl came running in and called my son 'daddy'.

"We were having a heated conversation about Anthony wanting to be called 'Edward', which made me glare at Liz bitterly. I knew her damn shows had affected him. I wasn't sure why it bothered me so much, but I hated that he wasn't going by his given name. It was like he completely abandoned his true self. But then that precious girl came in and completely made me forget any stress I was feeling.

I chocked on my emotions as I realized that my little boy had become a father in his absence, and I was a grandfather. We thought all future generations were lost when Anthony was taken, but there he was, alive and with a child of his own. There were just no words…

We played with Carlie and had casual conversations for the next couple days, but then our time was up.

Liz tried to get them to stay longer, but Anthony mentioned something about his probation, which reminded me that he had been in jail.

"Why…why were you in prison?" I asked.

Bella became uncomfortable, but Anthony remained almost emotionless. "I was in jail for rape," he said abruptly.

I was numb from shock. My mind immediately went to the night I saved Liz from being raped, and I couldn't fathom that my son had turned into the exact same type of monster that I despised more than anything.

Anthony walked out of the house, and I couldn't bring myself to go after him. Bella, looked regretful, but not surprised whatsoever, and then she proceeded to try to defend him. I couldn't believe her, what could possibly make a woman accept something like that?

And then another bomb, probably the most confusing yet. Bella, was actually his victim, and her father didn't seem to be talking any sense into her. Our granddaughter was conceived from that rape, and it was all just too much to handle.

I spent the next several months agonizing and fighting within myself of how my son could be capable of such a heinous act. He wasn't an infant when he was kidnapped, he knew right from wrong and I always made sure he knew crimes against women were inexcusable.

This wasn't the life I wanted for my son, this wasn't how he was supposed to turn out, and for the life of me, I couldn't fathom how Chief Swan would allow him to breathe the same air as his daughter knowing what he did. Of course I loved my son, but I was just so angry. Some demon came into my house, murdered Elena, destroyed a young man's life who was in the wrong place at the wrong time, and then killed everything good Anthony had in him.

Liz continued to call Bella to keep in touch with Carlie, but they never talked about Anthony. As much as it made me sick what he had done, I was relieved every time Liz talked to her, because even though Anthony never came up, I knew Bella would have told us if there was something wrong with him.

It was like losing him all over again, except this time, I knew where he was and I just couldn't get there. I couldn't break out of the prison that my own guilt had me locked in. I should have listened to Anthony that night when he asked me not to go out, I should have believed him when he said that a monster was watching him from outside, but I didn't, and I let that monster steal his innocence.

….

The bastard who took Anthony finally had a trial, and there was no way I'd miss that. We flew out to Washington and rented a hotel room. As long as the trial lasted for, I was going to be there. I asked Liz to stay behind, she didn't need to hear what really happened to our son, but she refused. I worried about her mental stability but she needed to be there, and I understood that.

We sat in the back and noticed that Anthony was there with Bella and her father, but there were also a bunch of other people around him as well.

Then they brought the monster in.

Liz grabbed my hand, and I was grateful she was there to calm me, because I was about to snap and kill the bastard right then and there. I recognized him. He worked on the house with the company who had been painting, and then my anger grew tenfold. That son of a bitch had worked that closely and I just let it happen.

When he started talking to Anthony and calling him his 'son', I lost it. I stood, and it took Liz holding me with all her weight to get me to not attack that fucker.

"Let justice do its job. If he's released, then you can kill him," she said to me quietly. I looked at her stunned from her seriousness, but we both knew that there was no way that we'd let that _thing_, get away with what he did. So yes, if he was ever released, I would not hesitate to kill him…and I'd do it slowly.

Watching the videos was pure torture. I never knew such evil existed in life, and the fact that my son had endured it and is still functioning, made me more terrified than anything else. Liz only saw one dead body and completely lost it, I was more worried about losing my son to his own post traumatic distress, than I was those first few days he was missing. As much as I hated to even think it, but death would have been an easier alternative than the life Anthony was forced into.

I needed air, so I left the room quickly. After a while, I decided to use the restroom but the door was locked, which was strange, so I waited. A few more minutes passed, and the door opened suddenly and banged into me.

"Ah shit, sorry," Anthony said as he came out, but when he saw it was me, he turned his expression into pure loathing.

"It's okay," I said quietly. He was a complete stranger to me, and yet he was my son. I thought about his life and how badly I wish I could take it all away from him. Every pain, every time he cried, and even more when the tears ran out. What was he thinking back then, did he understand what happened to him, was he even capable of understanding? Did he think his mother and I stopped loving him, did he think we forgot him? I wanted to grab him and hold him in my arms, but he wasn't my little boy anymore. He grew up, he survived, but at what cost?

Later Liz and I went to dinner, but we hardly said two words to each other.

"Grandma, grandpa!" I was utterly shocked to see Carlie run excitedly to our table. It had been months since we had seen her, and she was the exact medicine Liz and I both needed in that moment. She looked so much like Anthony, that it was like he was still there, and the innocence he lost when he was taken still lived on through her. "Come on, let's go," she said and grabbed Liz by the hand.

I wasn't sure where she was taking her, but then Liz came back and said we had been invited to have dinner with Anthony in the back room.

We were introduced to all the people who have helped our son over the past ten years, and although I was grateful for their presence in his life, I couldn't help but feel jealousy that they were there, and we weren't. Why didn't these people question his identity, why weren't we reunited with our son earlier. He was only sixteen when he found the Cullens, so why wasn't he brought to the authorities and sent home to us, why…..

He didn't speak to us, but I could hardly take my eyes off of him.

The second day of trial was worse than the first. During the videos, I reflexively looked at Anthony in front of me, and I couldn't believe my eyes, he was actually laughing as the girls on the screen were being murdered. That was it, he needed help and I couldn't sit back and not say anything.

I saw Bella walking without Anthony in the hall, so I decided to confront her.

"I just wanted to talk to you about Anth…I mean Edward. Liz and I had no idea what kind of torture he had been through, and we…just want to make sure that he's getting the proper mental help he needs."

Bella became immediately defensive, and I understood why. She knew I was sickened by her relationship with Anthony, but I hope she realized that it was just out of concern for both her and Anthony.

"Look, I'm a very conservative man with high morals, I think you can tell that about me," I said, and she nodded so I continued. "I think Edward needs to be in a mental hospital. It's not safe for him to be mixed into society when he has the potential to snap at any moment."

I had spent a great deal of time around mental hospitals and psychiatrists, and I knew how important they were. Anthony had experienced so much more turmoil than Liz had, but the hospitals were necessary for her, so I could only imagine how desperately he needed to be in a facility. Somewhere where he couldn't hurt anyone, or himself.

Bella refused to listen to me and she acted like every word I said was a personal attack. Perhaps my words were coming out wrong, I wasn't the best at expressing myself, but I needed her to understand that I only wanted Anthony to get help, because I loved him and didn't want to see him get lost the way Liz almost had.

"I didn't come here to get you upset; I just want my son to be in some place where he can't hurt himself or others, ever again."

But that just pissed her off even more.

Bella explained the details of how her daughter was conceived, and the trauma they both were forced into just further made me believe that they both needed far more mental help than they were receiving. It was obvious that they loved each other, but sometimes people are better able to heal when apart. How could they ever have a normal healthy relationship if they wouldn't give each other time and space to move past their abuse?

"Well, when we had sex in that janitor's closet an hour ago, I sure as hell wasn't thinking about it. I'd say we are perfectly fine in that department. We live together; being physically intimate is more than a regular occurrence."

I shook my head. "You have to see how wrong your relationship is, and if you don't, I really hope you figure it out before you're both lost and take Carlie down with you," I said worriedly.

She got even more upset, and turned and walked away.

As I watched her leave, I realized that I completely blew any chance I had at being a part of my son's life. If she hated me, then there is no way he'd give me the time of day.

_What the hell did I just do?_

I saw a crowd around Anthony, and they all were patting him on the back and hugging him tightly, supportively, and I wished beyond anything that Liz and I were there with him.

We went back into the courtroom, and it was Anthony's turn to testify.

"Please state your name for the jury," the district attorney instructed.

"Edward Cullen."

When Anthony said his name was 'Edward Cullen', it was like a dagger to my heart. He was _my_ son, not the Cullen's, but then I realized that he actually wasn't. I lost truly lost him, and I had myself to blame. There was so much I should have done differently.

"Uh, this is a legal venue, so we need your _legal_ name."

"Oh uh…" he paused, as if he had to try to remember what his birth name was. "Anthony Masen Jr.," he said finally, and I couldn't help the way my heart skipped from hearing it. It was the first time I heard him say his real name, and I actually teared up from it.

Anthony proceeded to tell his story, and I was completely astonished. It was the most I had ever heard him talk in one sitting, even as a child he never had a ton to say because he was always thinking. He seemed to peer at Bella every once in a while, but besides those brief moments of uncertainty, he was strong willed and brave, and everything I always hoped he'd be. I was wrong about him, he wasn't broken and in need of hospitalization, in fact, I was sure in that moment, that he was the strongest person I had ever encountered.

The defense attorney was an idiot, and I couldn't believe he was allowed to practice law. I was livid, but Anthony completely kept his cool. I was in such awe of him, and I realized that he was so much more brave and wise than I could ever be.

"Mr. Masen, you may step down," the judge said.

We were excused for a few days, so I went back to the hotel and just bawled like a baby. Liz held me for a while and I realized how I had been only hanging on by a thread for so long. I had to be strong as Liz broke down, but I couldn't handle it anymore and I had become the one losing it, and Liz was there to support me. I cried for two days straight, unable to move out of bed or even eat. I felt sick all the time, and I began to question my own sanity.

Somehow, I managed to pull myself together that Friday. Too much had happened that I'd be damned if I missed the ruling. Aaron was guilty, there was no questioning that, the ruling was just on the extent of his punishment.

"All rise!"

We stood and waited for the Judge to take his seat. I swore then that if Jameson received anything less than life in prison without parole, I wouldn't stop until that bastard was dead.

"Have you reached your verdict?" the judge asked the jury representative.

"We have, your honor."

"Wait," Aaron said suddenly and stood. "Whatever my fate may be, I just would like to point out how I have saved each and every one of those women by releasing them from sin. And as for my son, he is a far more righteous man than he ever could have been without my involvement. I love you my boy, and someday soon we will walk together to the gates of heaven, and be greeted as friends united by the cause."

Ok, I snapped.

I knew I was going to lose it when he first stood up, but I just couldn't control myself. I lunged at him in a blind rage, and I began pounding. It wasn't long before the security guard pulled me off, but that just sparked a chaos that I never expected. I came down from my enraged high, just in time to see the court room in a massive brawl.

Apparently, I wasn't the only one who snapped. All the families of his victims seemed to band together and there was a huge dog pile in the spot where Aaron had been standing. The guard who had me, had been kicked by someone and so he let me go. The judge and jury all exited the room quickly and I scanned the room for Liz. She was hovering near the back wall, terrified but ok, so then I looked for my son.

He actually looked at me briefly, and then he turned his attention to Bella. He grabbed her around the waist protectively, and then pulled her towards the exit. I knew my son was a man, but I had finally realized how much of a 'man' he was. He loved Bella, and the other members of _his_ family, and he was going to do whatever it took to protect them from the rioting witnesses.

I ran to get Liz, and then escorted her out of the room just as I saw a bunch of police storming in with full body shields and helmets. It was a little over the top, but I didn't blame them for being cautious.

"What the hell just happened?" I heard Chief Swan say after their group was all accounted for.

"I guess _someone_ just snapped," Bella said and looked at me with her eyebrows raised. I knew what she was implying when she looked at me that way. Our whole confrontation a few days prior was all about how I was worried Anthony would 'snap', but there I was, the one who completely lost it.

"Yeah, I think a lot of people 'just snapped'," Esme agreed with her.

We all waited around for three hours quietly, while they cleared the room and finally the judge came back. Those who were left, reconvened, but Aaron was no longer in the room. I thought I was going to get arrested for my outburst, but so many had joined in that they didn't even remember who started it. Some were arrested, while others were just forced to leave, but thankfully, no one said anything to me.

"Well, never in all my years as a judge, have I ever seen anything like this. I would have been less surprised if the man was simply released, but this is ridiculous. We don't know the condition of Mr. Jameson, but we must proceed anyway. The verdict please," the judge said to the jury representative.

"We, the jury, find the defendant _Innocent, _by reasons of insanity_._"

If there hadn't already been an uprising, there certainly would have been one then. What kind of insensitive idiots were on the jury? I was absolutely seeing red. I looked over at my son, and he was calmly whispering something to Bella, who seemed to have tears in her eyes. He was comforting _her_, but he was in total control of himself. She nodded as he spoke to her, and then he nuzzled her cheek, which made her smile despite her tears.

"Order, Order," the judge demanded. "There will be order in this court….Now, please, what is his sentence?" the judge asked the jury representative.

"He will be sentenced to mandatory '_life'_ in the highly secured Arkham Psychiatric Insane Asylum."

"Very good," the judge hit his mallet. "Next hearing in connection with this case, will be the 'accomplice to murder trial' of Anthony Masen Jr., two weeks from now," the judge said, and then we were all excused.

* * *

***Sorry it was so long, but what did you think? Please give me some feedback, and ****Review***** **


	33. Turning Pages

**Innocent Sins**

~Chapter 33 – _Turning the Page_~

BPOV

"Wait," Aaron said suddenly, and stood. "Whatever my fate may be, I just would like to point out how I have saved each and every one of those women by releasing them from sin. And as for my son, he is a far more righteous man than he ever could have been without my involvement. I love you my boy, and someday soon we will walk together to the gates of heaven, and be greeted as friends united by the cause."

I couldn't believe the words I was hearing. Why the hell were they allowing that demon to speak in the first place? What happened next was pure chaos. I looked up at Edward to make sure he was okay, but he looked past me with wide eyes, so I turned to see what was happening. Tony Masen had charged Aaron and was beating him. The guard pulled him off, but that just made others in the audience more and more agitated. Parents, friends, and other loved ones of the slain, all attacked not only Aaron but also the guard who pulled Tony off of him.

"Holy shit," Edward said quietly to himself. "Come on, let's get out of here," he said and led me, along with the rest of our family, out of the courtroom.

"What the hell just happened?" Charlie said flabbergasted.

"I guess _someone_ just snapped," I said while looking at Tony, who had followed us out of the room.

"Yeah, I think a lot of people 'just snapped'," Esme agreed.

Edward asked me if I was okay a few times, but for the most part, we were all pretty quiet while they cleared the room. Eventually, we reconvened and the judge came back into the room.

Aaron had been removed from the room, hopefully in a body bag, and the judge asked for the verdict.

"We, the jury, find the defendant _Innocent, _by reasons of insanity_._"

My breath caught, and I felt like I was going to have a heart attack. How could the jury find him innocent? As if he could hear my thoughts, Edward spoke to reassure me.

"Shh baby, it's okay. This is actually a good thing."

I was about to argue with him, but then he continued.

"Just because he's found 'innocent', that doesn't mean he's going to be set free. I promise you, he'll never get away," he said quietly.

"There will be order in this court….Now, please, what is his sentence?" the judge asked the jury representative.

"He will be sentenced to mandatory '_life'_ in the highly secured Arkham Psychiatric Insane Asylum."

"See?" Edward said quietly. "They're going to put him in a place that Hannibal Lector would be afraid of."

I couldn't help but smile at that. Edward was right, it didn't matter that he wasn't going to actual prison, Aaron would pay for his crimes, and he would never be set free.

"Well, I think even Hannibal would call Aaron crazy," I said against his lips as he kissed me.

But then I was worried. If the system was so screwed up that Aaron was found 'innocent', then what did that mean for Edward's case? We all headed out to the parking lot, not exactly sure how to feel, when we crossed paths with Tony.

"Edward, are you okay?" he asked concerned.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Edward said and then he opened the door to our car, so I could get in.

"Can I talk to you for a minute?" Tony practically pleaded.

Edward looked at me, and then back to Tony. "No, we gotta go. Carlie hasn't been home much lately, so we want to go pick her up from school. Maybe some other time," he said and walked around the car to get in the driver's seat. I looked at Tony, whose eyes were full of sorrow and regret, and I felt really bad for him despite the things he had said to me.

We picked Carlie up from school, and the three of us went out to dinner. We laughed as Carlie described how Angela and Ben fought about their wedding setting chart, _'for two hours straight'_.

"I told Ben that Angela was right, but he didn't believe me," Carlie said as Edward and I continued to laugh at her.

"And what makes you think Angela was right?" Edward asked her.

"Because women are always right," she said seriously.

"You have been spending far too much time with Rose," Edward said while shaking his head with a smile.

"No daddy, you're the one who told me that," she said confused. I spit water out of my mouth uncontrollably.

"What? I would never make a statement like that," he teased

"Yes, you said mommy is always right and women just know more than men."

Edward thought for a minute. "Ok, I remember saying that mommy is always right, but I don't remember the rest of it."

"Yes huh! You said…"

"Shhh, baby, that was supposed to be our secret. And don't ever repeat any of that that to Uncle Emmett," he warned her, and she giggled.

…..

I was afraid to really relax knowing Edward's second trial was coming, but he wasn't worried and begged me to trust him that it would all be ok.

The following weekend, I got together with Angela to help her with some of her wedding plans.

"Ooo, these are nice," I said pointing out some crystal champagne flutes.

"Yeah right, those are way out of my price range," Angela said quickly.

"Oh, I didn't even notice, sorry."

"Wow, I never thought I'd see the day when Bella Swan didn't stress over the price of something," she said with a smile.

"I know," I whined and dropped my head down shamefully. "It's those damn Cullen women; they are becoming a bad influence on me."

Angela laughed. "There could be worse things than not having to worry about money anymore."

"Ugh. I just hate knowing people like Jessica Stanley think I'm only with Edward for his money."

"Who cares what morons like Jessica thinks? You're happy, and you deserve to have a little stress taken off of you for once. I think it's awesome that Edward can support you and Carlie while you're going to school full time, you deserve to be supported. So, enough with the heavy, what's going on with _your _wedding?"

"Ugh," I moaned again. "I don't know, I told Alice she could have free range. I really wish we could go to city hall or something. I just want to be married; I don't care about the actual wedding."

"I hear ya. But you'll look back on it someday and be glad you did it. I bet when Edward sees you all dressed up in whatever over the top gown Alice picks out for you, he won't even be able to make it though the ceremony without groping you," Angela teased.

"I know, he so freaking horny all the time," I said trying to sound annoyed, but I couldn't help but smile.

"He's really changed lately."

"Yeah, but I'm so happy about it. It's not that I didn't absolutely love him before, but now, he's just so much more confident and assertive, it's just a real turn on."

"Yeah, I bet it is. I like when Ben takes control in the bedroom too. Of course, when we're out of the bedroom, I want him to bow down to my every demand."

"And I'm sure he does, doesn't he?" I said with a smirk.

"Yes, I do wear the pants in our relationship, but hey, someone has to."

"Well, I'm glad I don't have to wear the pants, I'm perfectly happy with my miniskirts," I joked.

"I'm sure you are, skirts just give Edward easy access. Damn girl, I think you're just as horny as he is."

"I can't help it," I said sheepishly.

"So, his trial is next week, how's he doing?"

"Are you kidding? You'd think it was just a day of taxes or something."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Angela asked confused.

"He thinks of his trial as being unpleasant as doing taxes. He's not looking forward to it and will be glad when it's done, but he's not worried about it at all. His lack of concern is driving me crazy."

…

Edward's trial came way too quickly, and once again, we found ourselves sitting in another courtroom, but this time, Edward was in the defense box. Mary and Randal went back home, but the Masens showed up; Renee and Phil had gone home too, but flew back to support Edward. We never heard about the condition of Aaron after he suffered the beating of his life, but we figured he survived because we would have been told otherwise.

I sat directly behind Edward, with Carlisle and Esme on one side of me, and Charlie on the other. The Masens didn't hover in the back this time, they sat right next to Renee and the other Cullens in the second row back.

"All rise," the guard commanded, and we did so the judge walked out. I was surprised that the judge was not the same man who had judged Aaron's trial like it was supposed to be, but I just shrugged it off and tried to remain calm.

I looked around the room and noticed that there were some familiar faces in the bleachers who were there during Aaron's trial, and I vaguely wondered why, but that too I shrugged off.

"Anthony Masen Jr., you are accused with conspiracy to murder, accessory to murder, and covering illegal crimes. How do you plea?"

"Not guilty," he said confidently, then sat back down.

The prosecution went back through some of the same events, and more tapes were played, of course they were the ones when he was an older adolescent where he looked much more mature than his actual years.

Then, Liam had his turn. He presented Edward's birth certificate, which he cross examined with the dates on the tapes, and a recording of Edward's previous testimony. I was glad Edward didn't have to testify again, but I was still nervous about how little Liam was actually doing to defend him.

I became irritated when after only a forty five minute defense presentation, Liam actually said "The defense rests." _What the hell?_ The prosecution had the floor for three hours, what was Liam thinking?

We were excused for the day as the jury deliberated, but as soon as I could, I laid into Liam.

"What the hell was that?" I asked irately.

Emmett put his hand up calmly to stop me from yelling, and then turned to Liam. "What the fuck is wrong with you!"

Liam sighed, and then took a deep breath, but then Tony came flying out of the courtroom and grabbed Liam by the collar. "I swear, if my son gets found guilty because you didn't do your job, you're going to have to answer to me."

"Relax," Edward said from behind, and then he grabbed Tony's arm to pull him off of Liam. "Liam and I have this all planned out."

"Wait, you knew he wasn't going to put out a stronger argument?" I asked incredulously. "I swear Edward, this better not be any of that self punishing bullshit," I said sternly.

"Babe, everything is going to be fine. The jury doesn't need some long drawn out defense. None of them want to be here, and the facts are there to see. I'm not going to be convicted of anything, my whole defense is in the tapes and my birth certificate itself."

I shook my head. "You better be right, cause if you go to jail, I'm not waiting for you," I said bitterly. He flashed me his irresistible crooked smile, and he knew he had me. "Ok, you know I'll _always_ wait for you, but still, I better not have to."

"You won't," he said with conviction, and then wrapped his arms around my waist and I couldn't help but melt into him. He had complete control over me, and he knew it.

We went home for the night, and we were surprised that the jury reached their verdict by the next afternoon. We only had an hour to all gather at the courthouse and to take our seats. Once again, there were far too many people in the stands, and a few of them made me very uncomfortable. _Why the hell were they there, Edward didn't kill any of their family members?_

"All rise."

I was so incredibly nervous that I was on the verge of a panic attack. We were about to either be finally and completely free of this, or my life would be turned upside down…again.

"We the jury, find the defendant Mr. Anthony Masen Jr., _innocent_ of all charges."

There was silence in the courtroom, because I knew they weren't finished just yet. Aaron had been found innocent as well.

"And, any recommendations?" the judge asked.

"None, your honor."

"Mr. Masen, you are hereby cleared of all charges, you may leave."

I was stunned. _Was it all really over?_

"FUCK YES!" Emmett yelled suddenly, making us all jump. Then we all erupted into cheers and we all grabbed onto Edward, hugging him tightly.

Edward held me tightly and kissed me passionately before he let anyone else claim him, but he never let go of my hand while they took their turns hugging and congratulating.

We thanked Liam, and we all went out to celebrate _our_ freedom.

Edward didn't really talk to the Masens much, but he knew Tony wanted to have a conversation with him, so he invited them to dinner with us. We went to our favorite restaurant, and once again, rented out the party room.

"So Ed, how much does a place like this cost to rent out anyway?" Emmett asked as we were all chatting in small groups.

"Don't worry about it Em, I can swing it," Edward said while clapping Emmett on the shoulder.

"No doubt. I bet you have fore fucking money than Carlisle now," Emmett said with a grin. I noticed Tony watching their exchange, and he seemed surprised by Emmett's comment. I realized that the Masens had no idea what Edward did for a living, but they didn't ask anymore about it either, because at that moment, it just didn't matter.

"Can I speak to you, Edward?" Tony finally got the nerve to ask.

Edward looked at me, and then looked back to Tony hesitantly.

"I actually need to speak to both of you, if that would be alright?"

"Yeah sure," he said, and then wound his fingers with mine and followed Tony out of the restaurant.

"_Edward_," Tony said slowly, as if it was still hard for him to call his son that. "I can't begin to tell you how deeply sorry I am…for everything. I should have never judged you, especially without even knowing you first. I was so overwhelmed with so many emotions that I just couldn't think straight and decipher everything I was really feeling. Your mother…_Liz_, she was in a mental hospital for a while, and maybe I was just too much of a coward to really take care of her myself. Maybe I needed to believe that no one with such a traumatic experience could function without going to a place like that, because that meant I didn't have a choice but to send Liz there. But I was wrong. I let Liz down by not taking care of her myself, and I let you down as well. I should have…"

"Tony, you still really don't know what you're talking about," Edward interrupted him. "I was in a mental hospital for like six months. I don't know how much it helped me though, because I was the exact same when I left that place, but still. You can't blame yourself for Liz being ill, everyone handles things differently. She seems to be doing fine now, so whatever you did, or didn't do, certainly didn't hurt her."

"There are so many things I should have done different," Tony said quietly.

Edward shook his head and looked at me for a long moment. "I think we all live with regret. But being with Bella, I've learned that you can't go back, we can't fix our past mistakes, but we can learn from them, and try to use them to influence the things we do in the future."

"But I need you to forgive me. Not just for the things I've done in the past several months, but everything before that." Tony started crying, but he held it together long enough to say what he needed. "I'm so sorry for that night. I'm so sorry I wasn't there to protect you. You told me about the monster, you asked me not to go out, but I went anyway. I promised you nothing would happen, I said your bed was a safe place and that Elena was a monster slayer. Oh god, I'm so, so sorry." Tony became hysterical, and Edward looked at him with wide eyes, not prepared for the emotional outburst that was in front of us.

Tony collapsed down, and was sitting with his face in his hands on the curb of the street. I wasn't sure how Edward was going to react because he had always been uncomfortable with emotional displays before. But this new Edward was much stronger, and I knew he'd find the right way to handle his father.

He sat down on the curb next to Tony and just let him cry for a moment. I walked towards the door of the restaurant to give them some space, but Edward didn't want me going any further, so I could still hear what was going on.

After a few minutes, and Tony's crying slowed, Edward started to talk to him. "You know, one year, I really don't know when, but Aaron said we were celebrating my birthday. He took me to this junkyard, and he said I could pick out anything I wanted. I rummaged through the trash and found a broken telescope. I picked it up and thought about that time you let me 'help' you with one of your projects. Do you remember, you showed me the slides of the microorganisms?"

Tony looked over at Edward finally, still with tears in his eyes, but he had calmed then. "Of course I do. I remember every second I spent with you."

Edward nodded, and then continued. "Well, he yelled at me and called me stupid for picking the broken microscope, but I still refused to give it up. So after arguing with me for a while, he actually relented and let me keep it. I brought that hunk of junk everywhere I went, and even though it didn't work, I looked in it every day and thought about what it was like to look into your microscope…. Funny thing about microorganisms, they can really look like monsters to a seven year old kid."

Tony looked confused, but he didn't speak.

"Aaron never lurked through the windows, I never saw him and got scared that he was going to come in and get me. The bedroom window was a little dirty, and it reminded me of the microorganisms which I had been _pretending_ were monsters. I was never afraid of them, I was just an odd kid with an overactive imagination. Aaron hadn't been stalking me and waiting for you to leave so he could grab me. He was after Elena, and I was just collateral damage. It wasn't your fault."

"You've been so angry at me…I thought you blamed me for what happened, I thought…."

"No, I wasn't angry. I just…knew how you would react when you found out what I did to Bella.  
I remembered that we lived in Chicago, I knew I could go to the police and tell them what happened and they would bring me back home, but I just couldn't look you in the eye knowing what I did, so when I found the Cullens, I asked them to let me stay, no questions asked.  
You were so…devoted to women's rights and bringing justice to those who commit crimes against them, that I knew the reason for what I did, didn't matter. You wouldn't forgive me, so I decided to just…not even try. I didn't want to go see you, I didn't want to ever return there, but I was in a different head space then. I know it wasn't that long ago, but I really have changed a lot since then.  
Bella had just forgiven me, and we just got back together, and I was literally mush. I would have done anything for her, and I still would, but I had no…desires left other than giving her anything she wanted. Bella wanted me to go see you, so I did, without even thinking about what that really meant. I kept thinking that you were going to figure it out, that you could see right through me, so instead of waiting for it to happen, I decided to just…blurt it out. It was the only way I could control the situation, and I was so out of control with everything else, that I needed to hang on to anything that I could."

"I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions, I should have followed you when you left and spoke calmly to hear everything," Tony said regretfully.

Edward shook his head again. "It really wouldn't have changed anything then. I wasn't ready or prepared to meet with you, I was actually surprised that I didn't find a way to run off sooner. The fact I made it to the last day was really a miracle."

"What changed?"

Edward shrugged. "I guess I got better the more time went on. More people were in on my secrets, but they all just kept forgiving me, even Chief Swan somehow seemed to get past it. Of course, I would probably be in a straight jacket right now if it weren't for Bella. Esme and Carlisle, they did everything they could, and I'll forever be thankful to them, but I needed Bella to forgive me, and even more than that, I never…." Edward paused, struggling to find the right words. "I never thought that life could be as amazing, that a person could be so…perfect, and she actually loved me despite hurting her more than anyone else ever had. That level of love and passion does exist, and I wasn't honoring her by walking around like a zombie all the time. After watching those videos, Bella took me out of the room and…just let me know that she was still there, and I realized that there wasn't going to be another reason for her to leave me. All the cards were laid out on the table. I didn't have to protect myself by keeping things I wanted locked away. She made me realize that I didn't deserve to let idiots like Aaron's defense lawyer, tear me apart and throw me into a fire. As long as I still loved her with every cell in my body, I could find a way to not hate myself so much."

"And there I was, trying to separate you two," Tony said sadly. I briefly wondered if Edward's self loathing was less to do with the things he did and more to do with some strange genetic thing, because Tony was obviously afflicted with the same deprecating trait. Tony suddenly looked up at me, "I'm so sorry Bella, I had no right to say those things to you."

"It's okay, it doesn't matter anymore. Edward and I have learned to leave the past in the past, and I really hope you can find a way to do that as well," I said sincerely.

"So, what happens now?" Tony asked.

"We _turn the page_ and move on. Bella and I are getting married soon, and she's working on getting her bachelor's degree in English Literature, and Carlie is learning to play softball. That's what's important to us right now, and we'll worry about tomorrow when it comes," Edward said confidently.

"What do you do for a living?" Tony asked hesitantly, not wanting to upset Edward again.

"Well, I have a degree in English Lit," he looked up at me and smiled with a wink, "but I'm really not into it very much."

"You have a degree?" Tony asked pleasantly surprised.

"Well, I guess not technically since I forged my high school diploma and none of it is under a legal name, but yeah. I've been a book editor for a few years now, but I really hate it. I compose and write music and have done some producing here and there, so that's what pays the bills."

"You make good money doing that?"

"Yeah, it comes easy for me, and it pays enough that we don't ever have to worry about money again, even if I never sold another song, but…" he shrugged. "I was thinking about going back to school for a degree in science, of some sort."

Tony got a proud, excited look on his face. "I bet you don't even have to go back to school. You scored really high on your IQ test as a child, if you get retested, they may put you in an accelerated program then you can start working right away."

Edward smiled, and then clapped Tony on the back. "That's skipping ahead a bit. One page at a time, Tony. You can't rush the story of your life, because then you'll miss the journey."

Tony looked a little confused and glanced up at me, almost looking for an explanation. "He's a poet, he says confusing things like that all the time," I said with a smile.

* * *

***Will the next 'page' in their life hold a HEA, or is there more drama ahead? Hum, we have to wait and see ;) Please Review***


	34. Life, Unexpected

**Innocent Sins**

~Chapter 34 – _Life, Unexpected_~

BPOV

"Babe, have you seen my watch?" I called out to him as I was turning our bedroom upside down looking for it.

"No, but I can buy you a new one," he called back to me from the living room, which made me roll my eyes.

We were heading out to Angela and Ben's pre wedding party, and I really wanted to wear my favorite watch, but I couldn't find it anywhere. And then the intercom buzzer sounded.

"The Masens are here," Edward announced.

"Okay, I'm almost ready."

Liz and Tony were going to watch Carlie while we were gone, so since they had just arrived, I knew I was running out of time to find my damn watch.

"Hi sweetheart," Liz said and gave me a kiss on the cheek as I walked into the room.

"Hey, thanks for doing this on such a short notice," I said as I hugged Tony.

"Are you kidding, we love spending time with Carlie," Tony said with a smile just as Carlie came running out of her bedroom to hug her grandparents hello. Liz and Tony were enjoying their new relationship with Edward too much to leave, so they had taken out a month to month lease in an apartment close by. They still had their home in Chicago, but Edward still refused to let me go there, so after having the house for twenty eight years, the Masens decided to put it up for sale. They weren't sure if they were going to move to Seattle permanently or not, but they didn't want to live in a place that made Edward so uncomfortable.

"So, we shouldn't be gone for more than a few hours," Edward said to them.

"Take your time, we'll be fine," Liz assured us.

"Oh, I'm just going to check one more place," I said remembering that my watch was in the medicine closet in the bathroom. "Yes, found it," I yelled as I pulled it off the shelf, but then something else fell out. I picked up the object and I immediately started shaking. "Oh shit, what the hell have I done?" I said in a quiet panic as I opened the box. "No, no, no, crap."

"Bella, we're going to be late!" Edward called to me.

_Damn it._

I took the months worth of unopened birth-control tablets, and shoved them back in the closet. _How could I just forget to take them for a whole freakin month?_ I had been on 'the pill' since six weeks after Carlie was born. I never had sex until I was with Edward, but I was always a little paranoid at the thought that I could be raped again, and I didn't want to take the chance of getting pregnant for the second time in that way.

Nine years I had been taking that tiny pill religiously, and then I just forgot. Granted, I had a lot going on in the past month with the trials and wedding plans and school, but still, it was inexcusable.

"Bella, are you okay?" Angela asked as I just fiddled with my flute of untouched champagne at the party.

"What? Oh, yeah, I'm fine," I said unconvincingly.

Angela pulled a chair closer to mine and sat with a thud. "Okay, spill."

"No, Angela, I'm fine. I promise, besides this is your party, you don't need to hear my stupid issues."

"Nope, I'm not going to go enjoy my party until you tell me why you've been so distant since you got here. Is it Edward?"

"No, Edward is amazing, as always." I took a deep breath. "Ok, I sort have neglected taking my pill for the past month, and now…"

Angela scrunched her face up and lifted her fists to conceal her huge grin. "Another baby," she practically squealed.

"Shh, I don't know that. All I'm say is that I forgot to take them. You know, the chances of getting pregnant the first month after stopping birth control, is pretty slim," I said, trying to convince myself even more than Angela.

"Or, the chances of twins is higher," she said with an excited grin.

"Ugh, see, I knew I shouldn't have told you," I whined.

"Have you told Edward yet?"

"No, there's nothing to tell. I just realized that I forgot right as we were leaving to come here. I'm fine, I'll just start the new round as soon as I get my period, which is…late, ah shit!"

"Oh my god," she squealed again.

"No, I'm just a few days late. Sometimes stress can cause it to be later, right?" I said desperately.

"Bella, why are you so upset about this? I thought you said you guys were talking about having another baby anyway?"

"We have been, but I just wanted to do it right this time. Get married first, take some time as a married couple, and then make sure we're both really ready before we start trying. I wanted to plan it out so the baby would be born in the summer. That way I can have the baby after finals, and then be able to go back to school in the beginning of the next semester."

"Wow, you are far too anal," Angela teased.

"No, I just wanted to plan it out because we have a lot going on right now, but I didn't want to wait either."

"Well, if you are pregnant, at least your wedding is soon enough that you won't even be showing yet."

I grimaced, and then handed Angela my champagne, which she grabbed excitedly and took it away. I swear, if I didn't know better, I'd think she was really Alice in disguise.

Edward was chatting with Ben and Mike by the appetizer table, so I decided to go get something to eat as well.

"Oh hey Bella, you have to try this," Ben said and handed me a prosciutto wrapped asparagus, which I grabbed reflexively.

"I'm not a huge prosciutto fan," I said and handed it to Edward. _He'd eat anything_. I picked up a mini quiche and popped it into my mouth, but immediately regretted it. I ran to the bathroom and violently vomited all of my stomach's contents. After a minute, I felt Edward's cool hands on my neck as he held my hair back for me. When I was finished, I stood up and looked at him guiltily.

"I guess the prosciutto was a better choice after all," he joked.

"Ugh," I moaned and went to wash my mouth out.

"Are you okay?" he asked concerned.

I whined again, "Edward, I think I'm pregnant." Everything was going all wrong. I wanted to plan out when I got pregnant, but I also wanted to wait until a special time to tell him. I just was emotional and I didn't want to wait in that moment.

He lifted his eyebrows and smirked. "Really?"

"I don't know. I haven't been taking my pills and I'm a few days late, and now, I'm vomiting." I was expecting Edward to question why I stopped my pills, but he didn't, instead his grin just spread to a full out Cheshire Cat smile. "You are way too happy about this," I stated. He grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the bathroom.

"It's been fun, can't wait for the wedding," Edward said quickly to Ben and then he dragged me out to the car.

"Edward, where are we going?" I asked frustrated as he buckled my seatbelt for me.

"To the store to buy a test," he said like he didn't understand why I would even question it.

"Those tests only work a week after a missed period."

"Well, maybe you're off on your dates," he said without pausing. He ran in and bought the test and then he brought it back out to where I was waiting in the car. "Maybe we should stop at the McDonalds bathroom to take it."

"Uh…no. I'm not going to take a pregnancy test in a fast food public restroom," I said with increasing irritation. "Besides, it's best to take it first thing in the morning."

Edward took a deep breath and then sighed. I wasn't really annoyed with him because I knew he was just excited, but it was all just a lot to take in at once.

We went home and said good night to the Masens, and first thing in the morning, I woke up to Edward reading the directions on the pregnancy box. I couldn't help but giggle at his eagerness, so I kissed his neck and then took the box out of his hands.

"Are you doing it right now?" he asked enthusiastically.

"Good morning to you too," I joked. "I'll be out in a minute."

I took the stick out of the package and followed the directions. I left it on the counter then went to sit with Edward on the bed while we waited the three minutes.

"You know, this is going to throw off Alice's wedding plans," I whispered as I leaned against him.

"Why?"

"Because I think she wanted us riding a horse after we exchanged vows."

"What?" He said with a chuckle.

"I heard her mentioning something about you riding in on one, and then we both ride away on it."

"Like riding off into the sunset?" he asked amused.

"Exactly."

"Well, let's really hope you're pregnant now so we can avoid all horse riding of any kind."

"No, I bet she'll still make _you_ ride one," I teased.

"I'll just have to put on all that sympathy baby weight then, to get out of it. Can someone be too heavy to ride a horse?"

I shrugged. "But I'd much rather you suck it up and do it, than be forced to suck it _in_," I said with a smile as I rubbed his perfect abs.

"I think it's been three minutes," he whispered.

"I know."

"Do you want me to go check it?" he asked.

I bit my bottom lip nervously, and then nodded.

"Really? I can?"

I laughed. "Go for it."

Edward ran into the bathroom, and was back in less than ten seconds with the stick in his hand. He was looking down at it, and then he lifted his head to meet my anxious stare. His face was blank, void of any expressions. I swear, his constant emotionless coping tactic as a child, would do wonders for a career in poker.

But then his face broke, and he melted into the biggest smile I had ever seen on his face.

"Are you messing with me?" I asked him seriously, but couldn't help but smile with him.

"We're going to have a baby," he said softly, and then slowly walked over to show me the double pink line. He held me and nuzzled my neck as I let it sink in, and then suddenly all my worries and planning went out the window, because we were having a baby, it was real, and I couldn't possibly by any happier. "Thank you," he cooed as he held me closer. None of it was how I imagined, but it was all absolutely perfect.

"Can we tell Carlie?" he asked, perking back up from the tender moment we were having.

"Shouldn't we wait to see a doctor first?"

"We'll wait to tell everyone else, but I really want to tell Carlie right now."

"Okay," I said quietly, then I suddenly became just as flamboyantly excited as he was, and we both ran to Carlie's room to tell her that she was going to be a big sister.

Carlie was over the top excited and the three of us decided to take the day off just to celebrate.

….

It was hard not telling anyone I was pregnant, but I had the appointment set, and we decided that if everything turned out ok, we would have a dinner party and announce it then. But leave it to Alice to blow the surprise.

"Omygod, you're pregnant," she said out of the blue. We were doing another dress fitting, and she had barely wrapped the measuring tape around my waist when she called it immediately.

"Oh, come on. I'm like six weeks along, my waist hasn't changed size yet," I said frustrated, not bothering to deny it.

"Oh, I'm so excited," she said and pulled out her phone.

"Alice, who are you calling?"

"Jasper, of course. And then Rose, and Esme, and…"

"No Alice, we aren't ready to tell anyone yet."

Alice's face fell like a sulking child, but then her expression turned into one of irritation as she looked past me.

"Hey, what are you doing here? You're not allowed to see Bella in her dress," Alice said as Edward walked through the door.

"I'm not in my dress Alice," I said then wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him, but he pulled away.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"We have to go down to the police station," he said somberly.

"For what?" I asked confused.

"The Judge from Aaron's trial was just found murdered in his house."

"What, oh my god, that's awful. But, why do we have to go to the police station?"

"They have a list of people they want questioned and we're on it, along with your parents and the Cullens and the Masens. Alice, you have to come too."

"What? Why would any of us know who killed him?" Alice asked bitterly.

"There were a lot of unhappy people after the trial; I guess the police are just trying to cover everyone who was there."

We went to the police station to give them our alibi, and the rest of our family were either coming or going when we got there.

"Any new news?" Edward asked Carlisle.

"No, they don't have any real suspects, but they think it was definitely a crime of passion. Someone disgruntled over the way the trial turned out. Aaron being found 'innocent' was a harsh blow for a lot of families. Most wanted the death penalty, not an insanity verdict."

"I don't get it," I said feeling uneasy. "The judge wasn't even the one who sentenced him, so why did they go after _him_?"

"Maybe they thought he could overrule it," Edward said.

"Possibly," Carlisle pondered while nodding.

Luckily, everyone in our family was able to confirm their whereabouts when the judge was murdered, so we tried to just shrug it off and stay focused on the huge events ahead of us. Angela's wedding, then our wedding, midterms for me, and then the baby; I really didn't have time to worry about anything else.

…

Over the next couple of days, Edward seemed to be distracted, like there was something definitely bothering him. I was trying to be supportive and give him time to come to me to talk about whatever was wrong, but I just couldn't take it anymore.

"Edward, what's going on? You seem to be a million miles away."

He looked at me thoughtfully, and then he pulled me down so we were sitting on the couch together.

"I was just thinking about the wedding."

"And, you're having cold feet?" I asked with a smile knowing that wasn't the case.

He laughed once, "no, but its coming soon, so I need to make a decision…_we _need to make a decision."

"Ok, what about?"

He seemed to get more and more anxious, he even started twisting his hair, which was a nervous tick that he recently seemed to pick up from Tony. "I want you and Carlie…and the baby, to have my last name."

"Oh, well I already got the paper work for Carlie's name change, we just have to fill it out. I'll change my name when we get married, and the baby will be born with your name," I said not sure what he was stressed about.

"Yeah, but which last name?"

_Oh_.

"Well, you planned to get your name changed legally, is that still something you want to do?"

"That's the thing, I just don't know anymore. When I think about who I am, I still feel that I'm Edward Cullen. I like being a Cullen, I'm comfortable with it and my career and everything else is all 'Edward Cullen'. But then I feel kind of bad for the Masens. Emmett, and Jasper both took the Cullen name, so their kids are going to be born as Cullens and the Masens don't have anyone to carry their name. I never really cared about that sort of thing before, but maybe I should."

"Have you talked to them about it?"

"I talked to Carlisle a little, but I wanted to talk to you and make a decision before I talk to Liz and Tony."

"Well, what did Carlisle say?"

Edward huffed. "What do you think he said?"

"That it was your decision and it wouldn't change the way they feel about you?" I assumed.

"Exactly. The man was no help. What about you, which would you rather be, a Cullen, or a Masen?"

"I wouldn't care if you last name was Spidermonkey, all I care about is that we're all the same."

"Spidermonkey? Maybe we should just branch out on our own and go by Spidermonkey, I kind of like that."

"Sounds good," I said with a smile.

"Well Mrs. Spidermonkey, what shall we do now?" he asked as he pulled me onto his lap.

"Hmm, Carlie won't be home from school for another hour," I said suggestively.

He smirked and then cradled me against him and ran us to the bedroom.

….

I really regretted the 'Spidermonkey' comment, because he refused to let it go. He even started calling Carlie Spidermonkey, which really made her annoyed after a while, so he finally stopped. It was really Edward's decision on what he wanted to do with his legal name, but he needed to decide quickly so we had time to change it before the wedding.

"Ok, I think I figured it out," he said after Carlie went to bed one night.

"Let's hear it."

"I think I want to legally change my name."

"Ok?"

"To, Edward Anthony Masen. But I'll still go by 'Cullen' as my professional 'stage' name since all my colleagues already know me as that."

I nodded in agreement. "I think that's a perfect idea. But you won't be a Jr. anymore."

"No, but I really haven't been in a long time. I'm still not that guy I would have been if I stayed there, so I think this is the best way to honor where I came from, but still acknowledge who I've become. So, what do you think about becoming Isabella Masen?"

"I think I could get used to it," I said with a smile. "Let's get the paperwork going so it'll be ready in time."

I knew Tony was hoping that Edward would return to using the name 'Anthony', but he was actually really pleased with Edward's decision. Apparently he was expecting Edward to legally change his last name to Cullen as well, so he was grateful Edward had at lease decided to keep his original surname."

Carlie was thrilled to be getting a new last name as well, and when the certificate came in, she was so excited that she hung a copy on her wall and she practiced writing _Carlie Masen_ wherever she could.

Edward's legal name change came in just in time to apply for our marriage license, so it was all working out perfectly.

And then, more good news…

Edward came into the kitchen as I was making dinner, and he plopped an unfolded document on the counter in front of me.

"What's this?"

Edward twisted his hair again. "Read it."

I studied the page, and actually had to read it a second time before it could finally sink in. "You have been completely cleared…of _everything_?" I said quietly, which only seemed to make him more nervous.

Edward had all accomplice to murder charges dropped, but he still had his prior sexual assault conviction on his record, and he was registered as a sex offender. But now, he officially had a clean record, which was well deserved and meant that we were finally utterly and forever free of Aaron Jameson. I couldn't help but cry, my pregnancy hormones made me cry for every little thing, but Edward took it the wrong way.

"Baby, I'm so sorry. I didn't ask Liam to do this…but at least I don't have to keep in contact with a probation officer anymore."

"Why are you apologizing?" I asked confused.

"Because, you deserve justice, and now it's like I wasn't held accountable for it at all."

"Baby, you don't deserve to be held accountable. Aaron did it, and I don't ever want to hear you taking blame for it ever again. I'm crying because I'm happy. This was the last thing associated with Aaron that was hovering over us, so now we never have to think about him again."

We were on cloud nine. Everything was falling into place perfectly, and I finally believed that the saying 'life's not fair' didn't apply to us. I'd take every moment of suffering I went through, to get to the blissful way everything had turned out, and I knew Edward felt the same way.

Angela's wedding came, and besides her father's drunken anti Jewish slurs towards Ben during the ceremonial stepping on the wine glass, everything was perfect. I wondered how Ben could forgive Mr. Weber for being so disrespectful to his religion, but he just shrugged and said he'd do anything for Angela, and I couldn't help but think of Charlie and Edward's relationship.

I watched as my father and fiancée sat together at our table and laughed while clinking glasses, and I couldn't imagine them being closer. Charlie had beaten Edward while he was in prison for assaulting me, so if they could forgive each other, I guess I could see how Ben could look the other way at Mr. Webber's drunken remarks.

"Mommy, I ripped my dress," Carlie said upset. She was the flower girl and she took her job very seriously, so she was almost in tears.

"It's okay honey, I'll pin it."

"Come dance with me," Edward said as Carlie skipped off to play with the other kids.

"I don't dance," I said quickly.

"What exactly were you doing when we went to the club then?" he asked like a smartass.

"Oh no. See, I was just messing around and was mildly drunk, but there's no way I'm going to dance without alcohol and in front of people that I know."

"Hey Edward, do you want to spin me around the floor?" Jessica asked with a giggle from behind me.

"Uh, no," I said irritated, and grabbed Edward's hand, pulling him to the dance floor myself.

"Ha, I knew that would work," he said as he led me in a slow dance.

"What would work?" I asked confused.

"Thanks Jessica," he said over my shoulder. I turned around to see Jessica dancing with Mike and she smiled sheepishly and waved to me.

"Ugh, you set me up," I said frustrated, but was just too happy to be in his arms, that I didn't even care that he deceived me to get me there. Which was basically the story of our relationship. Had I known he was Carlie's father from the beginning, I would have never given him a chance to show me how truly amazing he really is, regardless of his innocence. If I wasn't already in love with him, I wouldn't have taken the time to fully understand what happened.

"Well, just think of this as practice for our wedding," he said with my favorite crooked smile.

"Ugh, I have to dance then too, don't I?"

"Except then, _everyone_ will be watching us," he said teasingly.

"You know, I'm actually excited for it."

"For the dancing?"

"No, for all of it. I really can't wait to hear the minister pronounce us husband and wife in front of all our family and friends."

"Ok, what the hell did you do with the real Bella Swan?" he joked.

"No, I'm serious. With all those people watching us get married, it's going to be really hard for you to run out on me."

"Me run out on you? Yeah right. I just know the morning of the wedding you're going to finally come to your senses, and you'll leave me standing at the altar."

"Baby, I did come to my senses, the day I forced you to talk to me at the hospital. You were like a deer in the headlights when I sat with you in the cafeteria, it was hilarious."

He frowned, "you know, that wasn't a particularly happy time for me."

"I know, I'm sorry," I said quietly. "But it all worked out."

"Yeah, you can say that again," he said softly and then suddenly dipped me.

"You keep making me do sudden movements like that, and I'm gonna throw up all over your suit," I said, trying to control my laughter.

"Ah, it'd be worth it," he said and then twirled me under his arm.

"Where did you learn to dance?" I asked curiously knowing it wasn't from his pseudo psycho 'dad' Aaron.

"Esme. She needed a partner to practice with for a function she was attending, and Carlisle was too busy, so she forced me into it. She said it was her payment for years of free therapy."

"Yeah, and I'm sure her toes paid for it," I laughed as he danced around me.

"I never stepped on her feet once. I'm have natural rhythm."

"Uh huh."

Edward danced with Carlie, and I forced Charlie on the floor for a few spins, but then we all got tired. We congratulated Angela and Ben, and then we went home.

Since Angela already knew I was pregnant, we didn't need to wait until they returned from their honeymoon to tell everyone the news. The doctor appointment went great; the baby looked perfect so far, so we decided to have a big BBQ to celebrate. We lived in the penthouse, so we had the entire roof of the building all to ourselves, and we loved hosting big family get togethers up there.

Renee and Phil had flown back home, but everyone else made it. All the Cullens, the Masens, Charlie and Sue, even Sue's two adult kids made it up for our big announcement.

"Well, I know it's a little backwards and we were planning to get married first, but Bella and I are having a baby," Edward told everyone as they sat with their food. And they all jumped up excitedly, cheering and congratulating us. The women all started rubbing my still flat stomach and asking me how I was feeling, and the men were all being _men _and calling Edward a 'dog' and 'stud'. I really didn't understand what the hell went through men's minds sometimes, but I really didn't care to think any more about it. We were all so happy and everything was perfect. Our wedding was in two weeks, and then we'd finally start our happily ever after.

The BBQ started to slow down, and everyone said goodbye and they all headed home. The Masens stayed to help clean up, but the thrill of the day was wearing on them as well, so by eight pm, they decided to call it a night.

By that time, Carlie's exhaustion caught up to her and she went to bed, but Edward decided to walk his parents down to their car. I had a feeling that they wanted a few extra minutes to tell Edward how proud they were of him, so I smiled and said goodnight. I was so tired, that I melted into the couch and must have fallen right to sleep.

I felt like I had just closed my eyes, when I awoke with a start from someone pounding on the door. I looked at the clock and I was surprised that it was well past midnight.

"Edward!" I called groggily, and wondered why he just left me sleeping on the couch, but the pounding just got louder.

"Ms. Swan, it's the police," a voice said from the other side of the door.

I passed by our bedroom on the way to the door, and saw that it was empty, Edward wasn't in the condo. I was comfortable enough to open the door, knowing the building was safe and everyone had to pass security to get through.

"Ms. Swan?" An officer was standing in the doorway, and his coat and hat was wet from being out in the rain.

"Yes?" I asked confused and concerned.

"There's been an incident."

* * *

***Again with the cliffy, jeeze right. Lol. Please review***


	35. Tears

**Innocent Sins**

A/N: I didn't decided to add this extra drama because I wanted to prolong the story, I actually had it planned since I started writing the trial. Originally, the story was going to end with them reunited in the barn, and perhaps one more chapter with the wedding, but I decided that the trial needed to happen, and so did the reunion with the Masens. We're still winding down, it's almost over, I promise this time. There will be no "Moon Scars" twist. (If you've read my other story 'Moon Scars', you know what I'm talking about. Lol)

Once again, I'm not a doctor or a lawyer, so any medical or legal aspects are all completely fictionalized. Please excuse anything that is inaccurate.

* * *

~Chapter 35 – _Tears_~

BPOV

"Ms. Swan?" An officer was standing in the doorway, and his coat and hat was wet from being out in the rain.

"Yes?" I asked confused.

"There's been an incident."

"What kind of incident?" I asked terrified and irritated that he wasn't just spitting it out.

"Hey Bella," Jacob said, coming up behind the officer.

"Jacob, what the hell is going on?"

"I got this Collin," he said to the other officer.

"I thought your shift was over?"

"Well, it will be after I talk to Ms Swan. Now go help Brady with clean up."

"Yes sir."

Jacob stepped into the condo, and took off his hat.

"Damn it Jacob, I'm pregnant and I will lose it and assault you if you don't tell me what the hell is going on, _right now_. Edward isn't here, so I know it has something to do with him."

"We don't know much, but he was attacked in the parking garage. An ambulance took him to the hospital," Jacob said slowly.

"Oh, my god," I cried. I ran to find my keys and coat, and then I headed out the door, pausing only to make sure Jake would stay to watch Carlie.

Without even thinking, I ran to the parking garage to get my car, but I was stopped by a line of yellow police tape.

"I'm sorry Ma'am, the garage is closed right now," a police officer said. We were in the hall by the elevator, so I wasn't able to see anything going on, but I could see red flashing lights as they bounced on the walls around the corner.

"I just need to get to my car, it's an emergency."

The officer looked around the bend, and then back to me. "Alright, they're still finishing up so I'll have to escort you."

"Thank you so much," I said as he lifted the tape for me to duck under. The moment I rounded the bend, I was shocked at the amount of police cars that were there. I was anxiously leading the officer to my car, but then he gently grabbed my arm and stepped in front of me, blocking my view to my parking spot.

"We can't go over there, sorry Ma'am."

I looked past him to see yellow circles on the ground, marking what looked like shell casing. _Oh my god!_

But I wasn't prepared for what I saw next….

I screamed out in horror and my legs gave out, but the officer grabbed me before I could fall to the ground.

"Ah shit, I'm gonna lose my job for this," he mumbled under his breath as he pulled me out of the garage.

"Tha…that..that was blood….a lot of…blood," I said while trembling from seeing the huge red puddle on the garage floor by where my car was parked.

I knew instantly, that the blood was Edward's.

The officer took me to the front of the building, and sat me on a bench. "I'm going to get a cab to take you where ever you need to go. Are you going to be alright Ma'am?"

I nodded, but couldn't speak.

The eight minutes it took for a cab to finally come, seemed to drag on for an eternity. I felt numb. _How could this be happening? _It was like my heart had completely stopped beating, and I knew it would never start again if Edward didn't survive. I was just so confused, who would want to hurt Edward, and why? Was it a random mugging, or did someone set out to get him? He was the most gentle, loving man I knew, and he had been through so much in his life, that I just didn't understand how he could be afflicted with even more horror.

I told the cab driver to take me to the hospital, and despite being in the middle of the night, every light we crossed, was red. It took fifteen minutes and twenty three seconds to finally arrive at the hospital. I didn't grab my cell phone on my way out of the condo, so I wasn't able to call anyone, but it didn't matter at that point, I just needed to get to him.

I threw the money at the cabby, and then ran through the doors of the hospital's main entrance.

"I'm looking for a patient, Edward Masen," I said in a rush to the receptionist.

She leisurely started typing on her key board, but then looked up at me with a blank expression. "There's no one here by that name."

"Yes there is," I said irately, but then I wondered if he had his old ID on him at the time. "Try Edward Cullen."

The lady blew a bubble with her gum, and then let it pop against her nose before sucking it back into her mouth. "Edward Cullen…as in the former chief of staff's son?"

"Yes!" I yelled. I worked at that hospital when Carlisle did, but I didn't know the woman who was being incredible slow, if I did, I probably would have smacked her.

"Nope, I don't see him in the system," she said. So out of pure frustration, I went around the desk and pushed her wheeled chair out of the way so I could look his name up for myself. "You have not right," she said appalled. "I'm going to call security."

"Whatever," I mumbled. Sure enough, '_Edward Masen ICU rm 212'_ came right up. I flashed the woman a deathly glare.

"Oh, I thought his name was spelled M-a-s-_o_-n."

"Ugh!" I yelled in frustration and then ran for the elevator. He was in the ICU, which wasn't a good sign; that meant he was critical, which was obvious from the amount of blood I saw in the garage.

When I got on the floor, I was stopped from going any further.

"Ma'am, can I help you?" A nurse asked as I tried to get in through the ICU doors.

"I need to see a patient. Edward Masen," I said desperately.

"Are you a friend, or family?"

"Family," I said quickly.

"What's your relationship?"

"I'm his fiancée."

"Oh, patients in the ICU are only allowed to have family visitors, sorry."

I was livid. _What the hell was up with these women?_

I ran to her and smacked my hand on the counter. "Well…" I looked on her name tag, "Irina, I have _his _baby growing in my stomach, so maybe it qualifies as family and I can bring it in to see its father!" I yelled.

"Sorry, no minors allowed," she said with a smirk.

_This bitch was about to lose a limb. _

My hand twitched, ready to tear the woman up, but then a familiar face came in to save me.

"Bella?"

"Siobhan, thank god. I need to get in to see Edward," I said, and I couldn't help the desperate tears from rolling down my face.

"Nurse Irina, what the hell is wrong with you? let Ms Swan in," Siobhan ordered.

"It's against policy, I could get fired."

"Fine," Siobhan said and walked around the desk to push the button herself.

"Thank you," I said sincerely, and ran inside.

As soon as I turned the corner, I saw the Masens sitting on a bench looking absolutely terrible.

"Bella," Liz stood and wrapped her arms around me. "We meant to call, but.."

"What happened?" I cried. I looked at Tony, who seemed to be unable to speak, and I was horrified to see his shirt, chest, and arms covered in dry blood.

"He's in surgery right now, it was…" she shook her head.

"They said he was attacked, and I saw bullet shells in the garage. Someone shot him?" I guessed.

"It was a man who had been at the trials," Tony said mechanically. "I recognized him as we were driving out of the garage."

…..

**TPOV**

"Edward, I have to say, you amaze me more and more, every day," I said to him, in complete awe as he walked us to the garage after the BBQ.

"Why, because I got my fiancée knocked up before we got married?" he said with a laugh.

"No, not just the baby, but everything. I watch you with Carlie and you're such an amazing father already, and Bella adores you. I've always said, 'you can tell a lot about a man by how his family looks at him' and they look at you like you're the best person in the world."

"Well, I pay them to do that," he joked again, trying to dodge my compliment.

"I'm just really grateful that I've gotten the chance to see the truly wonderful man you've become."

"Thanks," he said finally. "I'm glad you're here too."

"Well, we'll see you in a few days?" I asked, just to make sure.

"Yep."

I offered my hand for him to shake, which he took and then reached around with his free hand to give me a hug. It wasn't a full hug, but it was so much more than I ever thought I would get from him again. My mind automatically went back to the last time he hugged me, that horrible night when I thought I lost him forever.

Liz had remained quiet during our conversation, because she knew I really needed to tell him those things, so she didn't want to get in the way. Edward hugged Liz too, and she kissed him on the cheek before getting in the car.

I still hated leaving him. We had seen each other quite often since his trial had completed, but I still was slightly paranoid that each time I left him, that I'd never see him again. That night was no different, I looked at him in my rear view mirror as we drove away from him, towards the exit of the garage. And kept looking at him until he was out of site as we rounded the corner.

BANG!

BANG!

BANG!

"What the hell was that?" I asked mostly to myself. The front of the car was already out of the garage, but I slammed on the breaks when I heard the loud bangs, which seemed to echo throughout the garage.

"Perhaps a truck backfiring?" Liz guessed. "Everything sounds louder in garages."

"Liz, this is the highest end residential building in town, I don't think there are any cars in here that backfire."

Then we heard breaks squealing as a car quickly sped around the corner, and crashed into the back of our car.

"What the hell?" I got out of the car, and went to confront the driver. I recognized the man, but I couldn't place him right away. He didn't get out of his car, instead, he put the car in reverse, then drove to a different exit and spun the wheels as he sped away.

I had a sudden sinking feeling after he was out of site, and then I realized where I saw him from; he was at both Aaron's trial, and Edward's. I knew he was a family member of one of the slain women, and I just knew I had to get back to Edward.

"What's going on?" Liz asked concerned as I jumped back in the car and threw it into reverse.

"I need to make sure Edward is ok," I said, in almost a panic. All the clues were already there; the bangs, the car speeding away, the man from the trials; I just wouldn't allow myself to consider them before I knew for sure.

As we turned the corner, my worst fears were realized. Edward laid motionless on the ground in a pool of his own blood.

"NO!" I leaped out, and ran to him, fearful that I wouldn't be able to help him. It was like walking in to see Elena's lifeless body all over again, except this time, it was my son.

I scooped him in my arms, and tried to wake him up.

"Edward?" _Oh god, no_. _Please No_.

I held him against my chest and put pressure on his wounds, but there was so much blood that I really didn't know where his wounds were.

"Edward, you need to wake up. Can you hear me?" He was unresponsive.

He had a pulse, but it was weak.

I didn't know what to do. Liz had gotten out of the car, but she was just staring blankly and I knew she was losing it. There was no one else around, and there was no way I'd leave him even for a second to go find help.

~~_"LIZ, DID YOU CALL THE AMBULENCE? THIS BOY IS ALIVE, HE NEEDS HELP!" but she didn't respond. I ran out to the living room, and saw her huddled in a ball in the corner of the room, shaking violently. "Baby, did you call the police?" I asked her softly. She just kept rocking back and forth, but wouldn't respond._~~

I couldn't stop my mind from going back to that night. Elena dead on the floor, the boy in the back hall barely hanging on to life…

"HELP, PLEASE ANYONE!" I screamed out in agony, hoping someone would be walking through the garage to hear me. Where were the damn guards?

This couldn't be happening, not again, not to him.

~_~"ANTHONY!" I yelled, hoping he was hiding somewhere~~_

I was so afraid back then, that I'd find my little boy just as Elena was, in a puddle of blood…..

~~ _"Anthony!" ~~_

"Edward, you have to wake up son, please, just squeeze my hand," I begged him as I held his hand…hoping.

_~~"ANTHONY!" I yelled one more time as the phone was ringing. I ran through the house, looking in closets and under beds, hoping he was still in the house somewhere.~~_

I tried to shake the memories out of my mind. I needed to stay focused on the here and now, Edward needed me.

"Liz, I know this is hard for you, but you have to go back to the car and get the cell phone," I tried to speak calmly, but my voice was definitely shaking. "LIZ, DAMN IT! Edward is going to die if you don't go call an ambulance!" I cried.

I decided to forget about my wife in that moment. She couldn't help, and I couldn't help her, I needed to find a way to save my son. Still holding him against me, I moved one hand so I could caress his cheeks, hoping he would respond to the touch and open his eyes. But the blood on my hand from holding his wounds, just smeared all over his face and I realized that wasn't the best idea.

"Edward, I need you to hang on, I can't lose you, not again….Bella needs you, and Carlie and that baby. Your family needs you son, please, please don't die," the tears rolled down my face and onto his forehead. I wiped them off of him, but it just smeared more blood.

"SOMEONE HELP US…PLEASE, oh god, please," I kept begging, over and over again. He was dying, right there in my arms, and I didn't know how to stop it. What the hell kind of father was I? I lost him once already, and there I was, just letting it happen again. If Carlisle had been the one there with him, Edward would have had his eyes open already, he would have known how to save him. I couldn't save my son, or my wife, and I didn't deserve either.

"They're coming," Liz said suddenly with the phone in her hand. I looked at my very terrified wife, and was utterly shocked. She was shaking and crying, but she was there with me; she fought her way out of her own mental prison, and she did it out of love for our little boy. There was nothing she could have done for him back then, but she found a way to come to, and be strong for him now.

She walked over to us and bent down to help me put pressure on his chest and stomach. Her crying and shaking stopped, and was replaced with something new…_determination_. "He's not going to die," she said assertively. "_We_ won't let him."

It was probably only a few minutes until the ambulance came, but it felt like hours. The paramedics worked on him for a minute, before moving him onto the stretcher and loading him into the ambulance. Liz rode with him, but I jumped in our car and followed them to the hospital. When we arrived in the ER, they started cutting his clothes off and the doctors were doing everything possible to stop the bleeding. I winced when they shoved the tube down his throat…

"He's coding," one of the doctors called out forcefully.

"What does that mean," Liz asked, starting to become hysterical again.

"Clear," one of the doctors said, and everyone took a step back before the doctor pressed the paddles to Edward's chest. His whole body jerked up, then it fell lifeless back to the bed.

"Clear," the doctor said again, and repeated the same action.

"He's not responding…"

"I'm sorry, but you two can't be in here," a nurse said from behind us, and pulled our arms until we were back in the hall.

"No, that's our son, we have to be in there with him," I protested hopelessly.

"The doctors are doing everything they can. Right now, the best thing you can do for your son, is to stay out of the way and let the doctors do their job."

"Their _job_?" I asked incredulously. "That's my son in there, and he's _dying_!" I yelled angrily because of the casual way she said 'job', as if it wasn't anything more than a board meeting, or something.

"Yes sir, I understand that, but if you don't calm down and go wait over there, I'll need to have you escorted out of the building. Now, I know that's not what you want, so please don't force my hand."

I stared at her for a moment, and then I nodded and backed off. I couldn't let them kick me out, I needed to be there. A different nurse started asking us questions like his name, how old he was, how did he get injured, if he was on any medications or had any other illnesses they needed to know about. But the truth was, that I really didn't know anything like that. Of course we gave them his name and age, but medications and illnesses were completely lost to us.

So, I watched the clock.

Forty five minutes, and eighteen seconds later, a doctor finally came out of the room to talk to us.

"Are you Mr. Masen's family?" he asked.

"Yes, we're his parents," Liz said with a surprisingly stable voice.

"Well, he went into cardiac arrest twice, but we believe we have him stable now. We're going to keep a close watch on him until a surgical room is available. Right now, however, we need to get him to radiology to see exactly where the bullets are lodged."

I nodded. "Please doc, do whatever needs to be done to save my son."

"We're doing everything possible sir," he said, and then nodded and walked back into the room.

We watched helplessly as he was wheeled out of the room and down the hall towards the elevator. I felt absolutely sick seeing him with all the tubes and wires all over him, but I wouldn't allow myself to break down.

And then, an officer came to take our statement. I told him everything I knew, including a description of the man I saw, so he immediately put an APB out.

"Mr. and Mrs. Masen?" a nurse asked after the officer left.

"Yes?"

"We've just moved your son into surgery. He's in surgical room 212, you can wait in the waiting room across the hall."

"Thank you," I said sincerely.

We went to the waiting room, and sat anxiously.

"Oh my god, we have to call Bella," Liz remembered. I felt like an idiot for not even thinking about Bella, but my mind was so concentrated on keeping Edward alive, that I couldn't see anything beyond that. Liz handed me the cell phone, but then a nurse stopped us.

"I'm sorry, no cell phones are allowed. You'll have to go out of the building entirely if you want to use it."

The idea of leaving the spot I was in, even for a couple minutes, was torturous, but I knew Bella needed to know. I just wished I didn't have to deliver this kind of information over the phone.

"Sir, is there someone you need us to contact for you?" an officer asked, after watching my dilemma. The officer was posted outside the surgical room since there was an attempt of murder, which was linked to another high profile murder.

"Yes, his fiancée. She was expecting him to return to the home they share."

"Does she live in the building where this happened?"

"Yes, in the penthouse. Her name is Isabella Swan."

"Alright, we still have officers there doing clean up. I'll send one up to talk to her," he said and then he pulled out his radio.

A little over twenty minutes later, Bella showed up looking extremely frightened.

….

**BPOV**

The Masens didn't know much, but the fact that they were sure it was someone from the trial, just upset me even more. Why would someone kill the judge, and then try to kill Edward? I get people were upset, but Edward didn't do anything wrong.

We sat in the waiting room silently, just praying for Edward to be ok. A half hour later, Carlisle and Esme showed up, but Carlisle left immediately to see how Edward was doing and ask if he could scrub in. I was actually so relieved to know Carlisle was going to be in the surgical room, he was the best doctor around, and I knew if anyone could ensure his survival, it was Carlisle. Over the next hour, the rest of the Cullens started arriving. I briefly wondered if they all got past that idiot nurse easily, or if she gave them as much trouble as she gave me. Hopefully Siobhan laid into her.

A little while later, someone else showed up who I wasn't expecting.

"Jacob, what the hell are you doing here? Who's with Carlie?" I yelled at him.

"Relax, Sue and Charlie arrived. Sue's going to stay, and Charlie should be here any minute. I came because I have some news."

"Ok, what is it?" I asked impatiently.

"They made an arrest."

"They caught him?" Tony asked eagerly.

"Yeah, but not after he killed someone else."

"Who?" I asked in a panic.

"Aaron's lawyer Caius. Apparently he went there after leaving Edward. But we actually caught him outside Liam's condo."

"Liam?" Esme said worriedly. He was a longtime friend of hers and Carlisle's, so she was concerned for her friend.

"Liam is fine, we got there before he could break in. As soon as Caius was discovered, we sent officers to Liam's house and the judge's house from Edward's trial."

"So, what did the guy say?" Emmett asked.

"He hasn't spoken yet, he's waiting for his lawyer."

Charlie arrived, looking just as frazzled as the rest of us, and we all waited another hour before Carlisle finally came out.

"He's out of surgery, everything looks…good."

"Oh, thank god," Esme said, letting out a breath as if she had been holding it for a long time.

"He's really going to be okay?" Tony asked warily.

"He was shot three times. Two bullets went into his abdomen and the third went into his chest and punctured his lung. They were able to remove all three and stop the bleeding, so after some rest, he should be okay. He's sedated and won't be awake for at least several hours."

"But he made it," I said, mostly to myself.

"He's strong, he'll pull through," Carlisle assured me.

Everyone started hugging each other from the relief, but I wouldn't feel much better until he woke up and I could actually talk to him. They moved him into recovery and we were able to go in to see him, but only two at a time. Everyone agreed that I could go in and stay with him, and everyone else would visit one at a time.

I walked into the room slowly, afraid of the condition I'd find him in. He was mostly covered up, and he had a tube in his nose and throat, but besides that, he just looked like he was sleeping. I ran my hands through his hair and caressed his cheek, then I sat next to him and just held his hand so others could have a chance to check on him. Liz came in first, then she left and Tony came in, followed by Esme then Charlie. They each came and took turns, and when they all had a chance to see him, they came back again. It was a constant round robin, and it felt really good to have everyone who loved him the most there to make sure he was ok.

"Bella, why don't you go get something to eat," Carlisle said quietly. I hadn't realized that I fell asleep in the chair, but when Carlisle woke me up, I swore I wouldn't let it happen again.

"No, I'm fine. I can't leave him and they won't let visitors have food in here, so I'll wait."

"I'll bring something in for you. No one is going to tell _me_ no," he said with a wink.

"Thanks Carlisle."

The hours seemed to drag on. At some point, the doctor removed his breathing tube, and I was grateful to hear him breathing on his own. Carlisle brought me the cafeteria breakfast and shot me an apologetic look knowing how much I hated hospital food, but at that point I was so hungry that I didn't care. I only left Edward's side once and that was to vomit in the bathroom, but then I went right back and refused to let go his hand again. And suddenly, he squeezed it.

"Edward?" I said softly. And then he squeezed it again.

"Baby, can you hear me, can you open your eyes?"

He moaned slightly, and then his eyes fluttered, before finally opening all the way. He looked right at me, and I couldn't help but smile at him. Esme was in the room with us, so she left quickly to go get a doctor.

"Hey," I said while smiling and combing my fingers through his hair.

"Uhhu," he mumbled then coughed.

"Shh, don't try to talk. You had a tube down your throat so it's going to feel scratchy." I told him. "I love you so much, everything is going to be ok." Tears started falling down my cheeks as I said the words, knowing they were true. He was going to be fine, I didn't have a doubt.

"Well, welcome back," A doctor said as he came into the room with Carlisle behind him. "It was a close call for a while there," he said casually. "My name is Dr. Amun, I preformed your surgery."

"Dr. Amun is one of the best surgeons around," Carlisle informed us.

"Your prognosis is good, your vitals are beautiful, I'm sure you'll make a full recovery." Dr. Amun said as he read over Edward's charts and checked him over.

"Wha…hap…to…why?" Edward croaked with a raspy voice. Edward was slightly confused as to what happened, so I explained what I knew and told him that he'd been in surgery, but he wanted to know more about the man who shot him.

Dr. Amun looked at Carlisle, and he nodded, so the doctor left Carlisle to explain the rest of the details. I had been by Edward's side for hours, so I figured there were more developments since I last heard.

"Well, the man confessed to everything. Apparently, his daughter was murdered by Aaron twelve years ago, and he blamed the judge and lawyers for letting you and Aaron be found innocent."

"But Edward _is _innocent. That man was at both trials right, I mean he knows what really happened?" I asked.

"Yes, but he disagrees. Edward was fourteen when his daughter was murdered, so he thinks Edward should have been able to fight Aaron to prevent it. He believes that Edward should have been held accountable for the crimes, because he didn't do more to stop them," Carlisle explained hesitantly, not wanting to upset Edward but not wanting to be unforthcoming either. Carlisle had always been completely honest with Edward, even on more sensitive subjects, and Edward always appreciated that.

"So, he killed the judge and Aaron's lawyer. He shot Edward then went to kill Liam…all for _revenge_?" I asked incredulously.

"Well, he would have tried to kill Aaron, but the asylum is extremely hard to get into; it's more highly guarded than any prison. The man just lost it, I guess. Years of not having his daughter's murder solved, only to have the man who killed her be found innocent. He must have needed to lash out at someone, and Edward and the others were just his easiest targets."

It was hard for Edward to talk, so he didn't say much, but he was listening intently and I knew he was actually feeling sympathy for his assailant.

…

Edward had to spend the entire next week in recovery. I didn't want to leave him, but he insisted that I go home to be with Carlie and only come back during normal visiting hours when she was at school. He got stronger every day, and claimed the worst part of the whole ordeal, was the scratchy throat from the breathing tube, but that too got better.

But I soon realized that part of the reason why he didn't want me to be there the whole time with him, was because he was up to a little misbehaving. I came in one day, after dropping Carlie off at school, and he and Emmett looked up at me like a couple kids being caught stealing candy.

"Hey honey, you're early," Edward said guiltily.

"Ok, hand'em over," I said while putting out my hand. I worked at the hospital long enough to know the little tricks some of the patients would use.

"You really suck, you know that," Emmett said as he pulled the McDonalds bags out from under the bed.

"How the hell did you get these past the nurses anyway?" I asked Emmett.

"Under my coat," he shrugged.

"You refused to sneak a couple sandwiches into the courthouse, but you hid huge bags of fast food to bring into a hospital?"

"Well, yeah. I'm not going to get arrested if I get caught bringing food in here…._right_?" he asked nervously unsure.

"Jeeze Em, you're such a pansy," Edward teased.

"Fine, laugh at me. That's the last time I take any risks for your smart-ass," Emmett said bitterly, but smirked at the end. I rolled my eyes at his pouting, and then I turned to give Edward a proper greeting.

"How are you feeling this morning?" I asked Edward as I kissed him lightly on the lips.

"Good, now that you're here," he replied quietly.

"We were doing _wonderful_, until you stole our breakfast," Emmett added.

"Sorry, Emmett," I said, and handed him back the bag.

"Really, we can eat it?"

"No, _you_ can eat it. Edward has to stick to whatever they give him. Just hide it if any nurses walk by."

"You rock," Emmett said happily and then pulled out his egg McMuffin and practically ate the whole thing in one bite.

" Since when are you into breaking rules?" Edward asked with his crooked smile.

"Hey, I don't work here anymore. He's someone else's problem."

"I missed you," he said while pulling me back into him and planting his lips to mine.

"I missed you too," I said against his lips.

"Hey now, no strenuous activities. Remember?" Emmett said disturbed by our display of affection.

…..

I was so excited when Edward's week long recovery was finally over. He had been walking around and going absolutely stir crazy in the hospital, so if only for all our sanity, him getting released couldn't come fast enough. He had instructions to keep it easy for a few weeks, but he refused to put off our wedding, which was less than a week away.

When I went to go pick him up the morning of his release, I was surprised to find his room already empty.

"Um, excuse me, do you know what happened to the patient who was in this room?" I asked a nurse as she walked by.

"Uh…" she looked on her chart, and then shrugged. "He's not supposed to be released until noon, so I have no idea.

"Okay," I said annoyed. _How_ _the hell could they just lose a patient?_

I went to the nurse's station and they didn't realize that he wasn't there either.

And then, the panic set in.

It always seemed that whenever things were finally going well for us, they fell apart again. _What if someone else tried to get to Edward because they blamed him for a crime he didn't commit?_ I rushed through the halls, hoping he was just walking around, but I couldn't find him anywhere.

Damn it!

I was almost about to lose it and start crying, when I passed by Siobhan and she recognized my distress.

"What's wrong, sweetheart?"

"I can't find Edward. He was supposed to be here, but he's not and…" I broke down and couldn't finish.

"Oh honey, he's fine. He went to the pediatric floor."

I stopped crying instantaneously, feeling like an idiot. "He did?"

"Of course he did," she said with a smile.

"Thank you," I said quickly and kissed her on the cheek before practically running to the elevator. I knew right where he'd be then, so I went straight to the rec room, and sure enough, he was there with his ukulele in hand, singing 'Somewhere Over the Rainbow' with the kids.

Edward hadn't been able to visit the pediatric unit since he had to register as a sex offender, but now that his name was clear, he was finally able to be back with them.

I looked to the far side of the room, and saw both Tony and Liz sitting on the floor with kids in each of their laps, as they clapped softly and sang along. They had a look of adoration as they watched their son singing for the kids, and I couldn't help but look at him the same way. I had just been crying out of worry from not knowing where he was, but the tears morphed into joyous ones, as I listened to the sound of pure happiness coming from everyone in that room.

_I said it before, but I'll continue to say it forever, Edward is truly amazing._

* * *

***Wedding HEA, next. I promise this time ;)**


	36. New Beginnings

**Innocent Sins**

A/N: Well, this is it, the very end, I hope you enjoy it. We laughed and cried, and threw our computers across the room in frustrated anger…ok, maybe that was just me, but now it's time to say goodbye. Thanks so much for sticking with me, I really appreciate it.

* * *

~Chapter 36 – _New Beginnings_~

BPOV

"Edward," I breathed as his sweet simple kiss became more intense.

"Hum?" he asked without stopping. His tongue prodded my lips, searching for an opening, so I gave him one. He always tasted so good, that I'd never be able to deny him, even if I wanted to. His hand moved to my pants and began to unbutton them, but I couldn't let it go any further.

"Edward," I said while pulling away, but he just pulled me back, I was powerless against him, especially when I didn't _really_ want to pull away. He managed to move my pants down my hips, and then he slid them all the way off and tossed them to the ground.

"You are going to rip your stitches, and then you'll be in too much pain to make it to the wedding," I said feebly.

"We can be careful," he murmured.

"You're not supposed to have any exertion," I said with a scolding tone. He huffed, then let me back away, except I had other plans. "I guess I'll just have to do all the exertion then, won't I." I whispered with a smile.

He was lying back on the bed and I was on my knees next to him, so I pulled down his sweats, exposing his eagerness, and slipped my panties off. I lifted my leg and placed it on the other side of his body, so I was straddling him. I leaned forward to kiss him again, careful not to place any of my weight on his torso. When I went to sit back up, he grabbed the hem of my shirt and lifted it over my head.

I paused for a moment, and thought about how wrong it was. He was shot three times, less than two weeks prior, having actually died twice on the operating table, and there we were about to have sex. _What the hell was wrong with me, you'd think I'd have better self control than that._

He traced his hands up my thighs and rested them on my hips, before squeezing them tightly and started lifting.

"Oh, no. If we're going to do this, you are going to do nothing but lay there," I said as I pushed his hands further down my legs so he couldn't try to help me with my movements. I sat up on my hind legs, and then positioned myself over him, before sinking down and taking in all of him _slowly_. Edward moaned as I started moving, but I knew his noises well enough to tell the difference between moans of pain, and moans of ecstasy.

As I started moving up and down faster, he began reflexively thrusting his pelvis upwards. It felt so good that it was hard to remember the reasons why he was suppose to be holding still, but I forced myself to slow down so he'd stop. I changed my bouncing motion to more of a hula circular motion, which he seemed to really enjoy and made it much harder for him to move. I leaned back slightly to get a different angle, making his shaft hit the spot inside me that almost made my muscles contract immediately.

I wouldn't let him use his strength to lift and pull at my hips to make more intense movements, but I didn't protest in the slightest when he brought his fingers in to massage my swell, giving me that last little push to send me over the edge.

He grunted and huffed through his own release, as we came together in an explosive climatic finally.

I lifted myself off of him and collapsed by his side as we both panted euphorically, letting the pulsating heat course through our bodies.

"Are you in pain?" I asked as I tried to catch my breath.

"Oh, yeah," he said sounding way too happy.

"I meant pain from your _wounds_," I said with a smile.

…..

The rest of the week went by blissfully uneventful. Charlie and Sue arrived on Thursday, but they rented a hotel room so they could have their own space.

"Hey, you ready?" Charlie asked Edward as he stopped by unexpectedly.

"Ready for what?" I asked as Edward grabbed his coat.

"Charlie is coming with me to the prison," Edward said casually.

"Prison?" I asked confused.

"Yeah…I guess I forgot to tell you."

"So, tell me now."

"It's not a big deal. I just wanted to go visit Mr. Laurent before we leave on our honeymoon."

"Why do you want to visit the man who shot you, almost killing you?" I asked concerned, and slightly appalled from the thought.

"Because…I just want to…apologize," he said slowly knowing it would upset me.

"Apologize? Edward, he shot you, not the other way around."

"I know baby," he said softly, grabbing a hold of my arms gently. His eyes pierced through mine as he begged for understanding. "It's just…I understand why he did it, and I just want him to know that I forgive him."

"Edward, you can't be serious?"

"I'm extremely serious. I know what it's like to need forgiveness more than anything, and whether he can forgive me for what I did, or didn't do, that's up to him, but I need him to know that I forgive him regardless."

"I really don't think that he cares about your forgiveness," I said bluntly. I didn't mean to be mean, but a man that killed two people and tried to kill at least two others, probably didn't care about one of his intended victims feelings about him.

"Well, either way, it's just something I feel that I have to do. Charlie is coming with me, so everything will be fine."

"Why can't it wait until after we get back from our honeymoon? We get married in two days, don't you think we have enough to worry about right now?"

"He's going to be moved to the county prison and visitation there is a lot harder, so I just want to talk to him before we leave."

"Bella, he's a big boy, why don't you let him act like one and make decisions for himself," Charlie butted in. I turned to look at him slowly, and shot him a deathly glare. He threw up his hands defensively and gave me a guilty apologetic expression. "Sorry," he muttered and pretended to lock his lips.

"Look, if you really don't want me going, I won't," Edward said with a sigh.

"No. If you feel like this is something you need to do, then you should do it. I'm just worried about you, that's all."

"I love you," Edward said before kissing me quickly and putting his coat on.

….

**EPOV**

I couldn't stop thinking about Mr. Laurent. No parent should ever have to outlive their child, especially to lose one so violently, I just couldn't imagine. Of course, Aaron took a lot of children from their parents and as much as I wanted to, I could never make any of it right. But I've been the one who did something unforgiveable, and yet, I was forgiven, so I owed it to the man who tried to kill me, to forgive him.

But I was nervous as we drove to the prison, and I was grateful Charlie was going with me. I had told Carlisle and Tony about my plan to visit the prison, and while they were both supportive, I just felt like Charlie was the only one who truly understood why I needed to go. He was there. He was in Mr. Laurent's place, seeking revenge for a daughter whose life was destroyed. Of course, Charlie took his aggressions out with his fists instead of a gun, but still, he knew as well as I did how far a father would go to avenge a child. Charlie and I had come a long way since then, but I understood how easily it was to get lost in something, to forget reasons for staying in line.

Everyone kept telling me how amazing it was, that I was able to hold it together. How I never snapped. But what no one else realizes, is that I did snap. I knew better than to be around Bella, I should have never let our relationship develop into what it became. I should have been honest with her and kept my distance. But I allowed myself to let go of everything else for just 'one day', which turned into so much more. And that night, after we kissed for the first time…I snapped. All my self control, all my…dignity, simply evaporated and I decided to cross the line, and in doing so, I completely lost it.

But she forgave me. Not only for what I did to her almost a decade before, but for lying and living with her and being in a romantic relationship knowing damn well that she had no idea what our past connection actually was. I did that all on my own, without threats from an outside party. Inexcusable excuses. Forgiveness, for the unforgivable. I got it from everyone who ever mattered to me, so I couldn't forget about Laurent. I couldn't move on until I gave him the chance to yell and scream at me, if that's what he needed, to ask for forgiveness if he so desired. To forgive _me_.

Maybe there was more I could have done to save those women, perhaps there was a second in time when I thought it was possible to become what Aaron wanted me to. If I said I never thought about it, that would be a lie. How could I not? Aaron was my twenty four seven, my only consistency since I was seven years old. Every day was a constant struggle to remember right from wrong, and some days, I just simply didn't know which way was up.

The more I thought about it, the more I realized how easily it would have been to become the very thing that I despised. How, if I only did as I was told, the beatings and abuse would stop. I could imagine the demons whispering in Laurent's ears, as they had done in mine; it had been for twelve long years that he must have fought them off. But unlike me, Laurent never had a moment of clarity.

My moment came when I met Bella. She saved me without ever really realizing it. It had all been wearing on me for too long; the dark side fighting with the good, and the dark was always so much more powerful. But then, a beacon of light in the form of a kind smile and a pair of chocolate eyes seeing right into the depths of my soul.

"_Are you okay?"_ she asked me in biology. Three simple words that I never knew could hold so much weight. No one ever asked me that question. Kids, making fun of me, tripping me in the hall, putting cruel signs on my back, filling my locker with disgusting things. I was starting to believe that there was no kindness in the world, maybe that was Aaron's intention in putting me in school in the first place. To see just how many people cared nothing for anyone else, but then the three little words changed my mind.

To be forced to hurt the one person who meant anything to me in so long; to destroy the spirit of the only girl who had ever touched my soul. That was a wakeup call that made me know without a doubt, that I didn't belong in Aaron's world, that I could never be him.

"Are you sure about this son?" Charlie asked me as we waited to be escorted to the visiting area of the prison. "There's still time to back out."

I shook my head. "I'm sure, and I'll be fine. This is definitely not the hardest thing I ever had to do"

"Okay, but we can leave at anytime."

I nodded, and then they called us to say it was time to go in.

I didn't know if they told him who was there to visit him, but as we came into view, Laurent definitely looked apprehensive. Because it was only a prison for temporary convicts, there was no plexiglass wall divider and a phone for communication. There was just a table and a guard standing between me, and him.

He looked at me stunned at first, maybe even a flash of regret, but then his face froze into a hard mask. "What the hell are you doing here?" he grumbled bitterly.

I swallowed hard, and then cleared my throat. "I just wanted to come here and…"

"Make sure I was locked up tight where I can't get to you anymore? Or gloat at the fact that you're free to be with your family, and I'm locked in here, forever separated from my only child because of you and your heartless father."

"Now, hold on there…" Charlie began.

"No, it's ok. He deserves to vent."

"I know what fourteen year olds are capable of, I used to coach youth football. You could have stopped that man from killing my baby, you could have gone to the police at the very least. She didn't have to die, none of them did."

Like with what I did to Bella, there was no excuse in that moment that could make up for what happened. Nothing I said could make it right, but maybe if I just let him express his pain, perhaps it will help to alleviate even an ounce of his anger.

"That bastard was found 'innocent' despite all the videos and evidence. _He_ deserves to die, but unfortunately I couldn't get to him, so I made damn sure to get to the ones responsible for his verdict. And you, you shouldn't have been able to just walk, someone needed to pay for my daughter's life."

"I don't know what little peace you'll get from this, but I am truly sorry for the loss of your daughter. There are so many things I wish I could have done differently, and I pray that someday you'll find it within yourself to forgive me."

Mr. Laurent just stared at me for several long moments, and then a single tear dropped out of his eye. "I can't ever forgive you," he whispered. "But please tell me this, do you remember her? Her name was Vicky, she had red hair and…"

"Yes, I remember her." I lied. Maybe it wasn't the best thing to lie when I was trying to do something right, but I figured if it made him feel better, what could it hurt? The truth was that I didn't remember her, I didn't remember any of them, but it wasn't about me in that moment.

"Did she suffer?"

I shook my head honestly. I didn't remember her, but I knew how Aaron killed his victims, and it was never to cause prolonged pain. "She was afraid, of course, but she wasn't in any physical pain."

"And…she went…quick?"

I nodded, unable to really say the words.

He nodded in response, and then turned to Charlie questionably.

"You aint his lawyer, but I remember you from the trial?"

"No, I'm not his lawyer, I'm the Forks police chief," Charlie said hesitantly, not sure if he really wanted to divulge his home town and occupation to a murderer.

"So, why are you here?"

"I'm just giving my support."

"Why, who's he to you?"

"Not that it's any of your business, but he's marrying my daughter in two days."

"Isabella Swan?" Laurent said knowingly.

Charlie immediately got defensive. "How the hell do you know that?"

"I followed Mr. Cullen, Jameson, Masen, whoever the hell, since his first sexual assault trial. I couldn't believe that his victim would actually not only defend him, but share her life with him as well. How could you, as her father, be calm enough to be in the same room as that piece of dirt, little alone let your daughter marry him?"

"My daughter is a compassionate intelligent woman, and if she loves him, then I trust her judgment. Edward has proven himself, again and again, to be kind and thoughtful. I've watched as he went from being a scared shitless boy, to a strong, courageous, loving, _good_ man. We are all dealt with a certain deck in life, it's how we choose to play the game that truly counts. He's overcome so much, and he deserves to have some peace and happiness in his life."

Laurent shook his head. "I just don't get it."

"It's not for you to 'get'," Charlie said irritated.

"Mr. Laurent, I didn't come here to upset you, I just wanted to meet you to tell you how sorry I am about your daughter. Regardless of how Aaron was sentenced, he's still being punished, I believe that, I have to. He won't get out, and he'll never be able to hurt anyone else. I just wish that you could have found a way to accept that, instead of wasting your life being locked behind bars for trying to take justice into your own hands. I forgive you for almost killing me, and I understand why you can't forgive me right now, but someday, I really hope you can."

Laurent didn't say anything else, he just stayed quiet. I said what I needed to say, and I wasn't surprised by his reaction. Forgiveness takes time. Ten years after the worse day of my life, and I still fully hadn't forgiven myself, or Aaron for making me do it, and I knew I never would. But I had to let it go in order to survive in the life I needed to be living, and I wished that for Laurent.

Charlie and I left the prison, but I decided that day that I would write to him after a few months past. It was his choice whether or not he'd read my letter, but I had to try.

…

"Damn, I look fucking gorgeous," Emmett said as he looked at his tux clad self in the mirror.

"Yeah, you just ooze sex," Jasper said sarcastically.

"I know I do," Em said with a smile.

"Now boys, no one is as smokin as I am," Carlisle joked as he came into the room.

"Smokin? Man, you're so freaking old. We don't even use that word anymore," Emmett teased.

"Hey, Carlisle is very pretty," I defended him. "Just like a princess."

"Thank you, son." Carlisle said with a smile.

Carlisle was my best man. There was really no one else I could imagine to stand up next to me in that position. Without him, I would have been nowhere, probably dead in an alley someplace. Despite Tony being in my life, I still looked at Carlisle as a father, but he was also so much more. He was my absolute best friend, besides Bella, and I wouldn't have it any other way then to have him there with me.

"Did you take your pain meds this morning?" Carlisle asked me concerned.

"No way. I can't drink with those."

"Hell yeah, baby," Emmett said enthusiastically from the idea of all the alcohol Alice was sure to have secured for the event.

Carlisle looked at me sternly; it was the kind of look a father would give to a misbehaving child.

"Chill Doc. After a few hours of getting sloshed, he won't be feeling any pain," Emmett said with a devilish grin.

"I don't think Bella would appreciate him getting drunk on their wedding day," Jasper interjected.

"Edward, the pain pills are important," Carlisle said, ignoring my vastly opposite brothers.

"Yes sir," I said mockingly and pulled the pill bottle out of my pocket and popped one in my mouth. Carlisle handed me a water bottle and I chugged the whole thing until it was empty.

"Damn, now you're going to have to piss while you're up there," Emmett said while laughing. I ignored him. In truth, being shot two weeks prior and the subsequent surgery, did still hurt, whether I'd admit it or not. Without the pain pills, it was actually still difficult to make it through a whole busy day. I wasn't at any real risk of becoming dependent on them however, because I refused to take them when I was going to just be at home taking it easy, but I knew it would be a long day so I grudgingly took the stupid pill.

"Let's get this show on the road," Jasper said when it was time to head to the ceremony location. We were getting married at the Cullen country house, which Alice completely over decorated, and as I walked to my spot at the end of the outdoor aisle, I also noticed that Alice must have invited random people off the street. _Who are these people?_ There were at least two hundred people sitting in rows on either side of a long aisle in the back property of the house, and I didn't know most of them. Bella was a likable woman, but I was sure she didn't know most of the people who came either, so where the hell did Alice get the invitation list from?

I did recognize a few people. Renee and Phil were sitting with the Masens, Sue, and Esme in the front row. Leah and Seth Clearwater were behind them, along with Ben, Jessica and Mike. Jacob Black was also there with a date, and Siobhan and her husband. Carlisle's best friend Eleazar and his family were sitting near the back, and Liam and his wife were in the middle. But that was the extent of my knowledge of people, everyone else were complete strangers to me, but I really didn't care at that moment.

The music started, and after a minute, Rose came strutting out of the house like a supermodel on the catwalk.

"So fucking sexy," I heard Emmett say from where he was standing next to Carlisle. Jasper subtly smacked him on the back.

Next, Alice danced out, looking like she was floating, more than walking.

Angela walked out next, and seemed to be taking great care to keep in time with the music.

And then my baby girl came out wearing the biggest grin I ever saw on her face. Carlie refused to be called 'the flower girl', because she said she was much too old for that, so she wore a dress that matched the bridesmaids but still wore a wreath of flowers in her hair.

"You look so beautiful," I whispered to Carlie as she kissed me on the cheek and then went to stand with Rose.

And then everything else disappeared as my Bella came into view. I vaguely could tell that Charlie was with her, and that she was wearing a white dress of some sort, maybe it was more of a cream color, I couldn't tell. She kept her eyes on mine, and nothing else in the world mattered. Everything in my life had been leading up to that moment. Every pain was worth it, every fight was finally won. I had the most amazing life ahead of me with the most amazing women, and it was finally time to start living it.

…

**BPOV**

As I walked down the aisle, I couldn't take my eyes off of the beautiful man waiting for me. He was absolutely stunning, and his smile was meant only for me. I thought about our journey that brought us to that moment, and I couldn't help the tears that fought their way to the surface.

I couldn't believe I was one of those sappy brides, crying before I even said 'I do', but I just couldn't help it. I loved him so much, we fought like hell to get to that moment, and there was no way that I would be able to fight the tears too. I thought about the first time I saw him in the Forks High cafeteria, and how I immediately took notice of him. The strange, intensely deep boy who seemed so sad and distant, had become the man who I couldn't possibly love any more.

I cried through the whole ceremony, and Edward even teared up a bit when we exchanged our vows. The intensity of the passion and love we had for each other, was shared by everyone that day, and there was hardly a dry eye amongst the crowd.

When we were pronounced 'husband and wife', every one cheered as Edward brought me in for a remarkable kiss. It was our first kiss as a married couple, and it definitely felt different, like it was the first kiss of the rest of our lives. Absolutely perfect.

"Edward?" I asked quietly during our first dance.

"Yes, Mrs. Masen?"

I smiled at my new name. "Who are all these people?"

He laughed. "I was hoping you knew."

I giggled with him. "Well, some are your relatives, but I have no idea who the rest are."

"My relatives?" he asked confused.

"Yeah, Liz and Tony's extended family."

"Really? Weird."

"Why is that weird?"

"I wonder what the invitation _said 'come to celebrate our long lost son's wedding, oh hey and you might get to meet him too, but probably not'_."

I smirked at him. "Well, we can take some time to go say hello to everyone here. I think that's what we're supposed to do anyway."

"Ugh, let's just pretend that we're too madly in love to be bothered with anyone else."

"Pretend?" I questioned while raising my eyebrows.

"There's no pretending with us babe," he said and went to pick me up, but then he thought better of it since he was still injured, choosing to just grab my hand instead, and lead me to the barn for some very special _alone_ time."

We never figured out who the rest of the mystery guests were, but we also didn't care enough to ask. We figured they were colleagues and friends of all our family members, but that was fine by us. Everyone important to us was there, and having extra people to witness our love, couldn't possibly be a bad thing.

The party started winding down, and when there weren't any guests left except those really close to us, Edward treated me to the most amazing gift I could possibly ask for, he played the piano and sang a song he wrote just for me.

When I saw your face  
It was like a space  
In my heart was filled  
It's like I knew  
From the very start  
That you were every other part of me

It's like I have loved you since  
From the moment when  
Since time began  
You fill my heart

Oh, love of mine  
Why did it take so long to find  
Your touch  
Hope was never gone  
Even though it took so long  
To find you

Because I have loved you since  
From the moment when  
Since time began  
And I have loved you since  
From the moment when  
Since time began  
You fill my heart

I hadn't heard him really sing since that first time in the open mic bar, long before we got to this amazing place in our lives together, so I was emotional, to say the least. He sang with the kids at the hospital, but it was never a performance like this was. It was practically an injustice for him to keep his voice bottled up inside, because it was just that beautiful. Every day I became more and more in awe of him, and I knew I would always feel that, for the rest of forever.

The wedding was beautiful, just as I knew our life would be….

* * *

**Epilogue – BPOV**

Well, it took six years and three babies later, but I finally did it, I opened my own publishing company. I planned to strictly do book editing, but Edward urged me to just go all the way with it, and I'm so glad he did. Thanks to a very large donation from a privately funded music production company, known as 'Cullen Brothers Entertainment', or 'CBE', my company immediately was able to compete with all the major publishing houses in the US.

Edward had started the music production company, and both Jasper and Emmett decided they really wanted to do it with him, despite their lack of knowledge in the music business, and they had been extremely successful. Edward also worked part time with Tony in a government science job, which was far too confusing for me to possibly explain further. Edward didn't need to go to extra school, he just took an intelligence exam and he scored so high that they hired him right away. The company was so impressed by Edward, that they were eager to have him work as much as he was willing to, and let him make his own hours.

Tony and Liz moved to Seattle permanently. Edward and I actually bought the property next to the Cullen country house and between our land and the Cullen's, it was forty acres, so we all just divided the land and everyone built their own house. It was really nice that we were all so close, but we had enough land in-between us that we didn't feel like we were all on top of each other.

Charlie and Sue finally got married, but they stayed in Forks. Leave it to Charlie to stay in one place his whole life. Renee and Phil moved to Canada so he could play baseball there, which was nice because they were closer and able to visit more.

Despite Edward's two demanding jobs, he actually still took a lot of time off. He had busy months, but for the most part, he hired people to do most day to day work at his company and only spent a few days a week at the science job. And surprisingly, he kept in contact with Mr. Laurent. I didn't understand his need to reach out to the man who tried to kill him, but it was something he just felt compelled to do. Edward didn't really expect much of a response from him after his first letter, but Laurent did respond and over the years, their letters became more and more friendly. Edward just had that affect on people, it was impossible not to love him.

We had very full lives; Carlie was fifteen, and then we had three younger children. Edward Anthony Masen Jr. was six years old. When he was born, Edward was hesitant naming him a Jr. knowing he had given up that title himself, but I convinced him because I just adored the idea. But we called him by his middle name to avoid confusion. Next we had another son and named him Robert Carlisle Masen, who was four years old, and then our youngest Mackenzie was two. We had so much family around all the time that we never had to rely on non relatives as babysitters.

Our kids were joined by a bunch of cousins. Rose and Em had three kids, and Jasper and Alice had two. It didn't matter that Edward and I had the most kids out of us, everyone always asked _us_ when we were having more, and I'd always respond with 'four is quite enough'. Of course, Edward wanted five, or ten, but I was tired of being pregnant and I wanted to just enjoy the kids we already had, so Edward agreed to get fixed. The week after Edward has his vasectomy, he complained so much more than he ever did after being shot. And two weeks after that, I found out I was pregnant _again_. Apparently, I got pregnant right before his surgery; it must had been the night we all went out for drinks while Carlisle and Esme babysat all nine kids, because me being drunk would have been the only way I would have allowed us to have sex without using protection. Edward, of course, was beyond thrilled. He would have the five kids he wanted, and our family was much bigger than I ever expected, but beyond my most heavenly dreams.

Life was chaotic and noisy, and there was rarely a moment of peace….but I wouldn't have it any other way.

**The End**

* * *

**~Bonus Outtake~ A Song Fiction (Set sometime during their first two years of marriage)**

"How's it going?" I asked Edward one evening. He had been concentrating on something all day, and my curiosity got the better of me. I usually tried to give him space when he was writing songs, but he seemed to be a little stressed about it.

"Well, I'm actually trying to write a duet."

"Okay? What's the problem?" I asked confused. He never seemed to have so much trouble before.

"It's supposed to be a drama, but ultimately a love story."

"Wow, well I can see why that would be hard for you, you know nothing about dramatic love," I teased.

"Exactly, so maybe you can help me."

"Wait, what?"

"The female part is really small, but I need help writing it. Basically, I need your version."

"My version of what?" I asked warily.

"Well, here's the male part,"

_~Something is said, it sits in my head  
It's been there too long, it's killing me slow  
It's rolling around, it's pushing me down  
It's keeping the good part of me closed_

_Can't you see that when I find you, I'll find me_

_Oh I need you to know, today I'll wait for you always_  
_Oh I need you to know, today I'll wait for you always_~

"That's beautiful," I said with tears in my eyes.

"Okay, thanks. Now I need your help to write the female part. It only has to be like four lines or so, and then they sing together."

"Edward, I can't do this. I'm not a writer, I edit and publish, that's it."

"Oh come on, just try. If I was singing this to you, what would you say back?"

"But you don't have to 'wait for me always' because I'm here."

"Okay, in truth. I wrote part of this years ago when I was in the mental hospital. So back then, what would you have said to me?"

I thought about it for a minute. "Can I work on it for a bit?"

"Of course."

As painful as it was, I forced myself to go back to that time when we were apart. Separated by misunderstanding and partial truths. But I also thought about the few times when we occasionally would fight. Yes, even we disagreed and argued from time to time. We never fought like most couples we knew, there was never any yelling or prolonged harsh feelings. But the pressures of everyday life did get to us sometimes. But no matter who was angry and for whatever reason, we always seemed to make each other smile, and it was usually with just a look.

_~My only weakness, is knowing your secrets  
and holding them close, and hold them tight  
I know the way to silently make you  
smile with my eyes, when you're trying to fight_

_Can't you see that when I find you, I'll find me~_

"What do you think?" I asked him insecurely.

He looked up at me and smiled widely. "This is perfect…and now I need you to sing it with me."

I laughed once humorlessly. "Uh, no."

"Babe, that's the way it's done. You have to record the song you write, that way the musicians buying the songs, can hear what they're supposed to sound like."

"I'm not singing. You've heard me sing, on very rare drunken occasions, and it's not pretty, especially when singing next to you."

"Oh come on, it doesn't have to sound perfect."

_How does he always manage to convince me to do things that I know will embarrass the hell out of me?_

"Why don't you ask Esme or Alice to do it?"

"Ugh! I can't sing a song like this to my mom or sister. I need to _feel_ it."

I whined and huffed, but then finally agreed. The next day, we went down to the studio and I attempted to not sound like a complete idiot.

_**E**__~~Something is said, it sits in my head  
It's been there too long, it's killing me slow  
It's rolling around, it's pushing me down  
It's keeping the good part of me closed_

Can't you see that when I find you, I'll find me

_**E/B**__~~Oh I need you to know, today I'll wait for you always  
Oh I need you to know, today I'll wait for you always_

**B**~~_My only weakness, is knowing your secrets  
and holding them close, and hold them tight  
I know the way to silently make you  
smile with my eyes, when you're trying to fight_

_**E**__~~Can't you see that when I find you, I'll find me_

**E/B**~~_Oh I need you to know, today I'll wait for you always_

_Oh I need you to know, today I'll wait for you always_

_Cause when I find you, I'll find me_

_Can't you see that when I find you I'll find me_

_Oh I need you to know today I'll wait for you always_  
_Oh I need you to know today I'll wait for you always_  
_Oh I need you to know today I'll wait for you always_

_When I find you..._  
_When I find you..._

_...I'll find me~_

After hearing the playback, I was actually quite impressed. Edward put it to music and to some other background vocals, and I couldn't believe how good it sounded. Edward also video recorded it, again, saying that it was 'common practice'.

Later, I started getting calls from a bunch of people.

"Oh my god Bella, I heard your and Edward's song, it was so beautiful."

"Jessica, what the hell are you talking about?"

"I saw you singing it on YouTube, it was so good."

_What the hell?_

I stormed into Edward's office, intending on having his head, but he legitimately didn't know what I was talking about, but it only took three phone calls to figure out what happened. Jasper and Emmett saw the video because they worked with Edward, and then they showed it to Rose and Alice, and of course, Alice posted it.

_Medaling pixie from hell._

Overnight, the video had five thousand hits, and then it spread like wild fire. We were getting all kinds of requests to perform the song live at various events, but we kept refusing. Edward was a little perturbed because he couldn't sell the song anymore, but in the end, it was a truly wonderful experience and it was something we'd always be able to keep and share with our children and their children, for many years to come. Music lived on forever, just as I knew our love always would.

**The End…again. lol.**

* * *

***Thank you so much for reading and for all your reviews, please take a minute to give me one last review, I'd really appreciate it.**

*The E/B song 'When You Find Me' is by Joshua Radin ft Maria Taylor. It is so beautifully haunting, do yourself a favor and check it out on YouTube.

*Edward's wedding song, 'You Fill My Heart' was actually another song by Jason Walker (who also did the other song in this story 'What If I Told You') Go to YouTube and check out all his music, he's really great.

No copy right infringement was intended, all rights belong to their respected owners.

….

*I hope you enjoyed this story, as well as my other _All Human_ story 'Moon Scars'. I have a few more A H ExB stories planned, but it may be a week or so before I get the first chapter out, maybe sooner, maybe later, so please check back or Author Alert me.

*In the mean time, I have a few rec's and since you all seem to be 'Twilight' Edward and Bella, M rated, AH lovers, I'll stick to those.

'Kidnapped' by **madcowre**. E and B grew up hating each other, until they are kidnapped and forced to work together in order to survive. This story is definitely a page turner, so to speak, and you'll have a hard time removing yourself from reading.

'Songbird' by **SydneyAlice**. On the eve of a wedding, a chance encounter in a piano bar leads to a weekend of passion. When faced with the consequences, will Bella and Edward overcome their differences and focus on what's really important in life? This story starts out with a bang; nice hot lemon in the first chapter.

'Duty and Desire' by **Aspenleaf**. If you love 'Pride and Prejudice', you'll LOVE this story. Edward is dashing, yet a little pompous and jaded; Bella is definitely the girl to turn his life upside down. The story takes place in the 1800s and is so beautifully written and poetic.

'Only Human' by **Amethyst Jackson**. Not completely an AH, but mostly. A wish sends Bella back in time to when Edward was human in 1918. Full of Lemony goodness as Bella falls in love with the very human Edward and becomes his 'first' just as he was hers. Sounds a little confusing, but it is truly amazing.

*All above stories are 'complete', so you can read them as quickly or slowly as you'd like.

Of course, my previous rec's…

'Unplanned Perfection' by **littlecat358**. Bella and Alice were best friends, which made Bella the only girl off limits to Alice's brother Edward. When a party the summer after graduation gets out of control, Bella's world is turned upside down. "He doesn't know. I don't want him to."

'How It All Started' by **fankstewie**. A story of the beginning of Robsten.

*Thanks again, I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I did writing.


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